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r our pediatrician said he didn t think sleep training would work at this point she s too excitable he also thought that when she started walking she would start sleeping well a couple of nights after that appointment she did start sleeping she slept completely through the night from 8pm 6am for two nights in a row it was the exact night she took her first real steps last night she was awake for an hour so we don t know if it was an anomoly or if things are getting better for now either way i decided to night wean her cold turkey she doesn t need to nurse all night anymore and it agitates her j thinks she s waking up to nurse and is willing to take care of her in the middle of the night and re evaluate things in a week for now i m not seeing her in the middle of the night at all only j is going in because when she sees me she cries and fusses and wants to nurse for a long time we will see what happens and of course now that she s sleeping and the pressure of being up with her for hours has subsided i miss her so much she s been hilarious and adorable these past few days i wish i could go get her and cuddle with her all night i hope that we can keep creating a healthy routine and setting limits with her so we will all start getting some sleep and feeling better tags baby sleep leap 8 cognitive surge categories sleep lack thereof uncategorized gia a year old july 27 2016 6 gia has been one year for a week now it s crazy someone asked me today when she started crawling and i couldn t remember that s when i realized it s time to start keeping updates they may not be on adorable chalkboards or unique fabric every month but at least they ll be done we had her birthday party early in the month in minnesota but also had a little birthday dinner for her while my mom was in town my mom made spaghetti and meatballs since gia likes to slurp up the spaghetti for dessert i made whipped cream over fresh berries and almond biscuits we got her the radio flyer tricycle gia has reached some milestones and is racing towards others she says actual words now when you ask her what a crow says she says caw caw she says apple up agua and uh oh in the correct contexts she also says hi mama and buh bye she s taken a couple of steps here and there but she prefers crawling she crawls at lightning speed she can open the door to her bedroom and crawl away during bedtime routine we took her to the beach for the first time on sunday we held her over the water and she loved the waves so much that she cried out in ecstasy as they crashed over and under her she crabwalked over the sand and right back into the ocean by herself she eats everything and yet she s particular one day she ll shove spinach and chicken in her mouth the next the same foods will be gently removed from her plate and dropped onto the floor she usually peers at me while she s doing this to see if i m watching tonight while we were eating dinner she rocked back and forth and shook her head to credence clearwater revival she s been nursing a lot on weekends and still nurses to sleep each night i thought i d finished pumping at work but j and i have had some after work dates and wedding meetings so i ve had to keep it up i can t talk about her turning a year old without discussing leap 8 it has been the worst growth spurt so far all of the leaps manifest in sleep in our household two weeks ago at around 51 weeks gia stopped going to sleep on time and started staying awake in the middle of the night for two full hours sometimes more this happened for three week nights in a row and it was hell she then slept ok for one night then was up from 11 30 pm to 3am on a friday night we tried everything nursing bottles snacks toys letting her cry nothing worked i ve called into work and gone in late a few times and reinstated lunchtime car naps i think the worst is over for those of you who have the wonder weeks app the storm cloud passed two days ago and we ve had one good night of sleep so i ll keep you posted this is a video of how whiny and clingy she s been during leap 8 for all the sleep deprivation i can honestly say that what comes to mind when i think about the last couple of weeks is just pure joy her smile and laughter and antics have changed watching her learn and grow is beyond incredible categories 6 12 months breastfeeding uncategorized 51 weeks early birthday party july 13 2016 10 i have to just take the plunge and write a quick post because i miss this community my posts will probably be shorter and less reflective and more about gia and wedding updates but i m going to try to be more active last night gia took a bottle from me for the first time since she was a month old i was away from her for four days while she stayed with jen at her childhood home i missed her but thoroughly enjoyed going to see tarzan by myself with a waterbottle of vodka and lemonade and a bag of coconut curry cashews anyway despite pumping four or more times a day by the time they got back i had barely any milk i was pumping nothing and even with her nursing on one side just a dribble now we have to give her bottles after nursing but since my supply isn t completely gone i m trying to get it back up by nursing and pumping and eating lots of carbs and fats and drinking water and lactation tea she got used to taking a bottle while we were separated and now she s nursing and then drinking a bottle all in one cuddle session gia has overall been sleeping a little better with only one wake up around 2am until she got a cold and another leap started this week i m dragging myself out of bed after just a few hours of sleep and getting through work bleary eyed and hyped up on caffeine again she is doing great though crawling standing climbing onto to couch and getting down carefully all by herself she even opens her bedroom door with the handle she also says up mama and uh oh i ll do a one year post soon here are some pics from her birthday party at my in laws cake time smash cake whole grain banana cake iced with greek yogurt and fresh strawberries by yours truly wonderful old friends and my very pregnant sil opening presents with mama wiped out from all the partying july 4th boat ride happiness uncle and cousins categories 6 12 months breastfeeding sleep lack thereof what to do june 6 2016 4 as much as i want to blog it s just not happening right now i m not giving up i want to continue sharing our adventures especially with so many coming up gia s first birthday wedding trip to europe i will try i hate feeling built that i haven t posted updates on her though especially since this is the only baby book i have i will try to do an update and maybe share some wedding stuff i m following everyone though categories uncategorized wedding plans may 4 2016 14 we re finally planning our wedding we really committed to our six weeks of diy couples therapy which has improved our interactions a lot we got excited about wedding planning and have come up with an affordable and fun weekend plan as some of you know we had planned our wedding for sequoia national park while i was pregnant but medically it wasn t a good idea and since gia was born we haven t exactly been in a place to plan a wedding it s not the hippie wedding in the woods i planned two years ago and it s not in the tuscan countryside we considered but it s convenient for our family and close friends especially now that there are seven baby and kid cousins between our two families when we looked at our priorities having our community there was really important keeping it low stress and outdoors y was also important i planned the whole thing in about a week and it came together so easily the ceremony and reception will be at an amazing brewery in north san diego craft beer country there are gardens a koi pond stone walkways and a small green lawn where the ceremony will be held my best friends from college are doing the officiating and music and another talented friend of ours is doing our photography afterwards we will have a farm to table meal on the garden deck here are some pics from someone else s wedding in the same spot and some pics of us checking out the ceremony space and trying the food gia loved the sautéed greens we found a fun hotel near the brewery and stayed there saturday night to see if it would feel right for the wedding we booked one of its cottages on a lake to stay in on our wedding weekend it has its own porch and fire pit plus a kitchen to make cocktails and snacks and the hotel has two really nice pools and hot tubs i m excited to share this here and wish i had more time to write about my thoughts and daydream about my vision i ve waited so long to plan my wedding and now that it s here it s also bringing up some difficult feelings of course mostly fear and perfectionism i had mixed feelings about the hotel but after a lot of processing and analyzing we decided to go ahead and embrace the plan today we put down deposits sent out save the dates and launched our website gia has been sick and work has been stressful we sleep trained using the happy sleeper for three nights and she responded well then promptly got sick and has mostly been in bed with us for two weeks in reaching a breaking point again but when she gets better we will do sleep waves and get her back on track 9 month update to follow categories 6 12 months same sex marriage wedding planning swimming april 20 2016 6 gia has been in swim lessons for three saturday s now at the rose bowl aquatics center it s two outdoor pools with a gorgeous mountain backdrop the first week she cried most throughout most of it the second week was overcast and the pool was heated and she was just kind of skeptical by last week another sunny day she was smiling and laughing especially at the end when j would sit her up on the wall and let her fall into the pool in her arms one of the instructed exercises i love her little swimsuits and hat and her face absorbing the new sensations so cute one of us goes in and the other hangs out with my friend s husband cheering the babies on they do tummy floats back kicks doggie crawl hold onto the wall and fall into the water plus singing circles and splashing now that gia goes to music and swim each week it feels like the beginning of many years of classes and sports this is both overwhelming and exciting at the end they release a ton of rubber duckies into the pool tags baby swimming gaybies rose bowl aquatics center categories 6 12 months tainted water april 8 2016 8 you know when one drop of ink taints a crystal clear bowl of water my work situation is tainting an otherwise beautiful time in my life i won t be listing all of the horrible awkward details here but they include our program head making passive aggressive comments in meetings calling me out on mistakes no one else would have even noticed and hiring people who don t fit into our clinic and make everyone uncomfortable many of the coworkers i was close to have left or are waiting for their new hire dates seven to be exact in a clinic of only about thirty people altogether the program head has stopped making weird comments about my pumping and now is uber sweet about it then today she called me out on a mistake which was really embarrassing and then told me with a falsely sympathetic and patronizing look on her face that i could come to her if being a new working mom is too difficult and i need to talk the thing that s bothering me the most is how i respond i ve spent the last few months processing all of these happenings in my coworkers cubicles or in the hallway i ve given one of our new supervisors who doesn t fit in and acts better than everyone else mind you i have a higher degree have been licensed longer and have worked at the clinic for longer the silent or bitch treatment depending i ve said things to this woman that shock me and recently since she s started being grossly sweet i ve made myself vulnerable to her ie admitting how tired i am identifying my weaknesses suffice it to say i just don t feel comfortable about how i m handling it all when i began to realize how serious the situation was a few months ago my intention was to rise above and end up proud of how i handled it in some ways i am i haven t quit i ve delivered what i believe to be excellent services to my clients and i ve supported my interns the best i can in other ways though feel ashamed of my mistakes and sometimes dirty for venting so much it took me a long time to learn how to behave at work and in social and professional situations i ve been diagnosed with adhd twice by specialists who do extensive testing usually people grow out of this disorder but i was re diagnosed at age 25 which is rare because of my inattention and related anxiety i do make small mistakes i do behave impulsively sometimes i do lapse into fight or fight reactions i m also really emotionally sensitive i want to be strong and deal with this situation effectively but it s hard every day i leave my awesome child and commute to a job that then makes me feel sick i drive away from my family i pump three times at work and get barely any milk sometimes in meetings i m so anxious and offended i m shaking and my heart is racing i m on high alert all the time and now tonight i m feeling like some of it s because i m not smart enough professional enough organized enough i ve known for awhile that i need to work in a certain type of environment with a boss who is supportive easy going and appreciates my strengths this is not that environment anymore it really was when i started so it s very disappointing i am working so hard seeing clients back to back working with women who refuse to see the new therapists because they don t like them she hires people who don t fit into the culture and supervising the two psychology interns day in and day out i m working so hard and things just get worse i feel defeated i m not sure what the universe is trying to show or teach me but i know it s something hopefully writing this will help me come to that realization i ve tried mindfuless being strong recognizing myself as much as possible and always getting support from j i m hoping things will get better soon and a little surprise if you ve made it this far we are seriously considering moving back to san diego soon so maybe there s a light at the end of the tunnel tags working mom categories uncategorized work 8 months april 7 2016 14 better post this before the 9 month mark this month has been a game changer in terms of both physical and cognitive development gia s movements social interactions and interests have taken a huge leap weight 21 5 pounds size 12 months 18 24 months depending teeth four on top four on bottom development fully crawling pulling herself to standing starting to cruise carefully sitting back down by putting one hand down first playing peek a boo turning pages of books mimicking sounds like up and uh oh i think she may still be slightly cross eyed s...