Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

december, 2022, about, friday, 2024, thursday, me, blog, you, of, capitalism, series, part, the, my, it, all, balance, 27, may, 2023, monday, june, 24, sunday, january, saturday, 18, 2021, wrote, an, ebook, subscribe, to, search, this, archive, get, discount, if, or, someone, know, is, in, need, drug, treatment, labels, values, summit, eoy, turning, 50, short, sightedness, quarterly, reports, unions, abortion, saved, and, girls, maybe, we, should, embrace, trauma, very, female, led, xmas,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (151), and (99), that (88), but (43), not (35), are (32), have (32), for (28), this (28), all (27), about (24), with (23), april (22), when (22), they (22), don (22), also (21), from (19), their (19), was (19), december (18), time (18), some (18), there (18), female (17), get (17), one (17), our (16), even (16), just (16), know (14), which (14), now (14), going (14), owned (13), need (13), #january (13), what (13), june (12), more (12), people (12), workers (12), you (11), september (11), how (11), much (11), can (11), still (11), back (11), monthly (11), october (10), november (10), february (10), into (10), like (10), has (10), company (10), only (10), myself (10), love (10), union (10), moved (10), led (9), march (9), may (9), pain (9), should (9), life (9), way (9), them (9), money (9), someone (8), august (8), comments (8), here (8), companies (8), because (8), course (8), who (8), every (8), had (8), would (8), series (7), july (7), posted (7), off (7), fund (7), got (7), very (7), out (7), help (7), work (7), trying (7), girls (7), lot (7), expenses (7), down (7), see (7), things (7), women (6), capitalism (6), labels (6), been (6), other (6), feel (6), really (6), after (6), were (6), care (6), unions (6), think (6), keep (6), while (6), most (6), quarterly (6), car (6), businesses (5), day (5), 2022 (5), 2024 (5), include (5), etc (5), woman (5), new (5), made (5), will (5), often (5), heal (5), put (5), stop (5), too (5), blame (5), right (5), many (5), might (5), end (5), thinking (5), why (5), job (5), enough (5), than (5), loved (5), few (5), better (5), let (5), corporations (5), want (5), everyone (5), paid (5), making (5), above (5), spending (5), make (5), doesn (5), never (5), year (5), personal (4), theatre (4), mom (4), month (4), values (4), posts (4), subscribe (4), home (4), happy (4), starting (4), pay (4), black (4), online (4), gifts (4), family (4), beans (4), report (4), self (4), start (4), trauma (4), health (4), part (4), pandemic (4), then (4), sort (4), together (4), did (4), school (4), didn (4), own (4), both (4), proud (4), good (4), first (4), happen (4), less (4), thing (4), thought (4), where (4), groceries (4), change (4), labor (4), without (4), covered (4), best (4), injuries (4), comes (4), reports (4), sometimes (4), category (4), board (3), shows (3), single (3), blog (3), summit (3), atom (3), two (3), daughters (3), her (3), balance (3), shopping (3), leadership (3), purchase (3), buy (3), using (3), products (3), clothing (3), world (3), bloody (3), shop (3), xmas (3), friends (3), ourselves (3), else (3), take (3), recognize (3), anger (3), court (3), committed (3), ever (3), others (3), find (3), moment (3), suffering (3), instead (3), another (3), since (3), divides (3), working (3), haven (3), before (3), country (3), went (3), boss (3), come (3), could (3), human (3), living (3), during (3), remember (3), years (3), mistakes (3), try (3), again (3), starbucks (3), protect (3), always (3), days (3), those (3), enjoy (3), sylvia (3), teachers (3), believe (3), lack (3), paying (3), costs (3), insurance (3), live (3), bad (3), financially (3), problems (3), shareholders (3), quit (3), next (3), wall (3), street (3), restaurants (3), blah (3), learned (3), kona (3), maintenance (3), major (3), cell (3), cooking (3), riley (3), kitchen (3), housekeeper (3), hot (3), simple (2), blogger (2), mother (2), chronicles (2), parenting (2), finance (2), singles (2), musical (2), thoughts (2), left (2), financial (2), update (2), broadway (2), legal (2), california (2), treatment (2), 2021 (2), 2023 (2), eoy (2), search (2), current (2), following (2), full (2), wrote (2), several (2), featuring (2), american (2), marketplaces (2), brands (2), index (2), includes (2), opinion (2), designed (2), support (2), independent (2), gift (2), having (2), worry (2), any (2), paper (2), founded (2), free (2), containers (2), bought (2), zip (2), top (2), refill (2), store (2), puzzles (2), features (2), artists (2), possible (2), serving (2), able (2), small (2), white (2), anyone (2), face (2), reach (2), does (2), drugs (2), alcohol (2), allowed (2), place (2), though (2), understand (2), appreciate (2), rights (2), crime (2), unhappiness (2), mistake (2), happiness (2), shutdowns (2), children (2), lives (2), prime (2), versus (2), possibility (2), maybe (2), ending (2), fair (2), talking (2), found (2), speech (2), once (2), abortion (2), raising (2), incredibly (2), department (2), control (2), little (2), expensive (2), idea (2), leave (2), across (2), already (2), couldn (2), long (2), simply (2), him (2), weeks (2), productive (2), conversation (2), spent (2), longer (2), cared (2), grocery (2), account (2), around (2), house (2), child (2), friday (2), big (2), indeed (2), critical (2), step (2), internet (2), keeping (2), close (2), managed (2), increased (2), somehow (2), afford (2), bonuses (2), force (2), entire (2), acting (2), aren (2), hierarchy (2), middle (2), grade (2), students (2), accountability (2), strike (2), leaders (2), continued (2), recall (2), members (2), line (2), profit (2), power (2), true (2), bigger (2), thursday (2), wonder (2), retention (2), complaints (2), ceos (2), hoping (2), corporation (2), reward (2), question (2), quarter (2), whether (2), profits (2), needed (2), expectations (2), apple (2), its (2), plenty (2), wrong (2), done (2), barbies (2), stories (2), definitely (2), watch (2), ways (2), plane (2), rest (2), stopped (2), student (2), respect (2), respected (2), okay (2), bubble (2), bath (2), old (2), number (2), england (2), cats (2), surgery (2), dog (2), spend (2), regular (2), basis (2), pets (2), non (2), budget (2), charity (2), mayhem (2), subscriptions (2), membership (2), registration (2), lumped (2), phones (2), parking (2), charging (2), accrue (2), fiat (2), annual (2), fun (2), gas (2), phone (2), ireland (2), visit (2), freedom (2), dipped (2), actually (2), show (2), theme, powered, yahoo, television, oscars, national, week, musicals, minsky, legally, blonde, international, write, literacy, fall, fab, fridays, budgeting, boston, blast, education, trypod, resources, available, centers, drug, referral, fee, discount, 2007, 222, 2008, 153, 2009, 167, 2010, 164, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, archive, view, complete, profile, titles, paralegal, autonomous, teenaged, chauffeur, commuter, junkie, finds, blogging, resides, los, angeles, ish, ebook, older, hours, research, bookmarked, articles, native, lgbtq, sell, multiple, ask, links, narrow, your, accordingly, grommet, fidelity, website, initial, member, senior, management, team, governed, represent, least, third, directors, iii, adviser, adopted, policies, attract, retain, promote, newsletter, learn, newsroom, focusing, gender, politics, 19th, guide, wednesday, kept, toilet, shortages, recently, added, recycled, towels, excellent, reel, hair, latinx, tooth, tablets, laundry, cleaning, sustainable, wearwell, branch, basics, bite, ceremonia, gifted, wine, reusable, plastic, zero, waste, pasadena, picked, marketplace, items, artisans, wide, previously, purchased, jigsaw, jiggy, nopo, ban, sup, maivino, dessert, edible, cookie, dough, unbaked, wrapped, furoshiki, style, wraps, patterns, wrappr, hosting, holiday, celebration, mexican, themed, meal, tamales, refried, grown, females, marys, vodka, mary, mix, marias, tequila, jalapeno, cucumber, infused, avocado, hummus, tahini, soom, 21seeds, square, primary, pleased, run, cis, men, context, means, identifies, previous, post, saturday, mental, professionals, outside, yelling, mask, hiring, bot, farms, attack, social, media, numb, retail, therapy, denying, fighting, properly, sadness, loss, confess, anti, vaxxers, prolonging, wondered, stand, trial, futile, vent, profession, daily, level, constitutional, causing, fact, particularly, americans, pursue, promise, cause, weren, each, suffered, longing, desire, connect, sad, coming, mention, saw, headline, piece, hurting, problematic, saving, example, happening, crying, attention, plight, offer, answer, opioid, epidemic, response, political, finding, separate, stay, childfree, married, relatively, harmless, especially, compared, horrific, dividers, gotten, killed, racism, misogyny, prejudices, started, wars, offered, feeling, spoil, limited, warning, semi, serious, playing, actual, turns, perfect, dopesick, embrace, sunday, deserves, story, shared, sharing, allows, exercise, regretted, decision, regret, intercourse, marriage, broke, finally, townhouse, kitties, rescues, raised, supported, cheered, recognizes, gave, promotions, birth, serous, relationship, fields, procedure, afterwards, frankly, painful, childbirth, kids, thankfully, lived, block, away, planned, parenthood, nightmare, later, questioned, loyalty, decided, fully, aware, played, role, responsibilities, responsible, bring, chaos, manage, field, threw, chair, employee, yell, staff, meetings, knew, imagine, explain, divorce, adoption, same, exact, timeline, wasn, discovered, pregnant, miscarriage, wedding, moves, total, states, fallen, warned, prior, holding, gone, called, hid, emptied, bank, resorted, hiding, cash, cover, shoe, woke, morning, acknowledged, vowed, saved, limiting, industry, everywhere, deserve, protection, continuing, minded, times, changed, creating, federal, laws, today, criminalizing, mandating, breaks, ability, spread, word, beyond, communities, local, stood, chance, contractors, stores, avoid, lyft, proposition, passed, excluding, attempt, stopping, former, use, wages, bottom, excuse, raise, prices, yet, suite, raises, stripes, modicum, over, schedules, sick, problem, unionizing, baristas, peet, protected, deal, wholly, unfair, unites, auditions, card, gig, opportunity, audition, catch, created, divide, community, employees, belong, isn, supporting, bullet, millions, jobs, therefore, protections, pitting, against, create, clear, placed, eighth, worst, fire, sixth, fired, saying, gay, encouraging, effects, severe, position, poor, performance, worker, early, aughts, subsidize, ended, elsewhere, leaving, rise, holidays, order, acts, elected, information, vote, interest, news, grad, railway, said, area, stray, democratic, party, progressives, reasons, michael, douglas, aaron, sorkin, regarding, politicians, interests, afraid, telling, tactic, continue, either, politically, likely, fear, president, heard, corrupt, becoming, convinced, greed, root, easiest, contemplate, follow, designation, benefit, stakeholders, direction, percentages, customer, docked, hate, kinds, enthusiasm, valued, realize, prioritizes, quiet, altogether, abused, spouse, stays, mean, term, planning, allow, safe, despite, ruling, supreme, themselves, comprised, outstanding, becomes, fare, willing, dive, deeper, mind, badly, equipment, decreased, included, held, impossible, standard, beating, seen, share, ups, downs, hold, stocks, 401k, generally, invest, funds, weighted, select, wouldn, twice, subject, whims, punish, meeting, failing, meet, wondering, hat, completely, caused, worse, heads, future, thinks, short, sightedness, monday, ahead, maintain, overcame, endured, beginning, kid, play, issues, took, cruise, head, kind, conversations, schedule, 50th, birthday, seeing, six, seethe, earn, points, sacrifice, drink, pilots, flight, attendants, passengers, through, vying, praise, hurt, vice, versa, stupid, although, nothing, unhappy, something, learning, truly, brings, joy, peace, peak, last, figured, mostly, hoped, look, pretend, aged, wrinkles, imagined, wise, seemed, large, believing, shoved, throat, height, bell, curve, happens, somewhere, inconsequential, turning, nagging, survive, round, layoffs, works, salary, lose, figure, daughter, adding, rewarding, animals, difference, add, cart, scratch, itch, tab, implementing, rule, decide, applies, tend, impulse, irl, price, buying, truth, told, events, vigilance, seed, eventually, putting, radar, vacation, professional, turbotax, aaa, canceled, adobe, birthdays, camry, shoes, second, hand, graduation, office, supplies, medical, fees, used, letting, bundle, donate, connection, taxes, accountant, usually, owe, donations, laist, broadwayradio, apm, probably, break, npr, soon, bdays, loa, given, replaced, garage, door, refrigerator, dishwasher, anything, purchases, savings, goal, heating, socal, girl, gets, cold, degrees, yay, service, amazon, trip, parents, sister, husband, dad, hasn, considering, irishman, traveled, tickets, half, airbnbs, prepared, looking, option, allowance, named, until, utensils, household, lightbulbs, yes, hired, she, awesome, thrilled, clean, doing, vaping, tix, almost, disappointed, ritual, save, rid, prefer, chef, practice, fix, plus, guilty, restaurant, liking, food, stuff, gadgets, motivated, worth, eat, electricity, luxury, item, electric, nternet, fetal, positions, priority, maslow, needs, mortgage, rent, visa, read, entries, came, realized, overextended, whole, cost, increase, plan, successful, 2025, felt, visiting, dusty, site,

Text of the page (random words):
i m going to do posted by april at 11 22 am 0 comments thursday may 4 2023 turning 50 i remember when that seemed like a large number 50 i remember believing what capitalism shoved down my throat the height of life s bell curve happens somewhere around 15 35 the rest is inconsequential of course that s not true i thought at 50 i d know things that i d be wise what i know is that there s so much i don t know and so much i ll never know i thought at 50 i d look old i m not going to pretend that i haven t aged but there s not as many wrinkles as i imagined i would have at 50 i hoped i would be happy and i am i feel like i m just starting to reach the peak in the last 50 years i ve figured out a lot of things that i don t want my life to be mostly by making mistakes now i m learning what truly brings me joy and peace i ve learned how to take care of myself not stupid bubble bath self care although there s nothing wrong with a bubble bath but the self care where you recognize what s making you happy or unhappy and you do something about it i ve stopped suffering through things that i don t have to i ve stopped living life like the good student vying for praise and respect i am loved and respected by people i love and respect i m not going to try to change myself for someone to like me i m okay if you don t there are plenty of people i don t like i m not talking about trying to hurt anyone or vice versa but i don t need to be loved and respected by everyone i ve learned how to let things go it does me no good to seethe in anger or feel bad about myself you don t earn points by self sacrifice not just in the big ways but in the little ways too i now have a drink every time i m on a plane just one to let myself just be while the pilots and flight attendants take care of me and the rest of the passengers i go to the theatre by myself a lot and i love it i don t have to worry about what others think of it try to schedule it blah blah blah and i also go with friends and family i spent my 50th birthday with my girls seeing six on broadway i took a cruise by myself and loved it i go to restaurants by myself and enjoy it i love to people watch and make up stories in my head about who they are and what kind of conversations or thoughts they re having it s like when i was a kid and i would play with barbies and make up their stories i know there are definitely issues with barbies but i cared most about the make believe of it all i also have done a lot of things in my life that i m proud of that i overcame that i endured and that i loved there is enough life back there for me to see that this is not the beginning of course i don t know how much is ahead of me if i ll be able to maintain my health my happiness so i m going to love my life now at 50 posted by april at 9 14 pm 0 comments monday december 5 2022 capitalism series part 2 the short sightedness of quarterly reports while i would never put the white hat completely on corporations i think many of their problems are caused or made worse by the quarterly reports ceos department heads sometimes an entire company s future is on the line because of what wall street thinks of a quarterly report even the shareholders are subject to the whims of wall street it comes down to a few people who punish or reward companies for meeting or failing to meet their expectations somehow wondering whether wall street got it right or wrong is never the question i hold stocks too in my 401k and in a personal account but i generally invest in index funds less weighted by one or even a few select companies i can appreciate the shareholders need to know but why so often wouldn t twice a year be plenty companies are held to this impossible standard of beating expectations every quarter there might be one apple that has managed to do this but i think every other company has seen its share of ups and downs and even apple had its down days way back when very few are willing to dive deeper than whether profits are up or down never mind if the company bought some badly needed equipment that increased their expenses but decreased human injuries human injuries aren t included in quarterly reports even when a company has an outstanding report the very next day the question becomes how will we fare next quarter which doesn t help a company think about long term planning doesn t allow time for r d doesn t even reward companies when they recall products to keep everyone safe despite another bad ruling by the supreme court corporations are not themselves people but they are indeed comprised of people most people didn t start their first day thinking that they d hate the job they go in with all kinds of enthusiasm hoping to feel valued but work enough days in a corporation everyone comes to realize that the corporation prioritizes their quarterly reports above all else of course people want to quiet quit or quit altogether just because an abused spouse stays doesn t mean they enjoy it they just don t see a way out i wonder what would happen if the quarterly report did include injuries retention percentages customer complaints i wonder what would happen if ceos got their bonuses docked for injuries complaints lack of retention i m starting to shop more b corporations which is a designation for companies that are committed to benefit all stakeholders not just shareholders it s a step in the right direction and if more companies got on board it might just change the world posted by april at 12 00 am 0 comments labels capitalism series thursday december 1 2022 capitalism series part 1 unions i find the easiest way to contemplate the bigger problems is always to follow the money we ve all heard that money and power corrupt and while of course that s not true of everyone i m becoming more and more convinced that the greed for money and power is the root of most of the bigger problems one of the things i always go back to is a line from michael douglas speech at the end of aaron sorkin s the american president regarding some politicians interests making you afraid of it and telling you who s to blame for it using that tactic has allowed them to continue to profit either financially or politically most likely both off of fear and anger unions are once again in the news starbucks uc grad students the railway workers etc i ve said it before unions are the area in which i stray most from the democratic party and the progressives here are a few reasons why lack of accountability for union leaders i first wrote about this during the grocery store worker strike of the early aughts the workers had been paying into a union fund to subsidize health care costs but the union leaders ended up spending that money elsewhere leaving the workers with no support when health insurance costs continued to rise the workers had to strike during the holidays as i recall and live off even less in order to make up for the union leadership s bad acts while i understand that the leadership is elected by their members many members have enough information to vote in their own best interest lack of accountability for workers poor performance it was very clear to me that in sylvia s middle school they placed all their best teachers in the eighth grade and all their worst teachers that they couldn t fire in the sixth grade that did not get her off to the best start in middle school of course i don t believe that teachers should be fired for saying gay or encouraging critical thinking but i also know that there are some that are simply not good at their job and the effects on their students is too severe to keep them in that position unions create more hierarchy in my acting days there were a lot of auditions that were union only but of course the only way to get a union card at that time was to get a union gig but how would you get that without the opportunity to audition it was a catch 22 that created a those who have and those who haven t to divide the acting community i know some employees that have to belong to a union but that union isn t supporting them see first bullet above and there are also millions of workers in jobs that aren t covered by a union and therefore do not get some protections that others enjoy it s pitting workers against workers divides instead of unites if we want to protect the labor force then we should protect the entire labor force all workers should have a modicum of control over their schedules everyone should get some paid sick time the problem with unionizing one starbucks at a time is the that the baristas at peet s are not protected it might help some but not all workers get a fair deal making them wholly unfair corporations do not change their stripes some corporations end up using independent contractors or close down stores to avoid unions lyft managed to get a proposition passed in california excluding them from ca s attempt at stopping the former or they use the increased wages at the bottom as an excuse to raise prices and yet somehow the c suite can always afford bonuses and raises unions were a critical step in creating some of the federal laws that we have today to protect labor like criminalizing child labor and mandating work breaks but let s think about where we were at that time we didn t have the internet or the ability to spread the word beyond our own communities keeping it local was the only way workers stood a chance but times have indeed changed why are we limiting ourselves to one starbucks one industry or even one country don t all workers everywhere deserve protection why are we continuing to be so small minded about how to change the world we re not thinking big enough posted by april at 12 00 am 0 comments labels capitalism series friday june 24 2022 my abortion saved me and my girls i woke up the morning after what i d thought was a really productive conversation with x he acknowledged the mistakes he d made vowed to do better and we were going to try and put our family back together again i went to the place where d i d hid the grocery money x had already emptied my bank account so i d resorted to hiding cash around the house to cover child care groceries and other expenses this time i d put it in a shoe but there was no money in there after our so called productive conversation x had found it and spent it on drugs and or alcohol don t know and at that moment i no longer cared after years two daughters and one miscarriage a wedding several moves in a total of 4 states i d simply fallen out of love with x i d even warned him a few weeks prior that i thought this could happen my love had been the only thing holding us together and now it was gone i don t remember the exact timeline here but it wasn t long after that when i discovered i was pregnant my girls were about 2 1 2 and 5 1 2 at the time i already knew i was going to leave x and i couldn t imagine trying to explain divorce and adoption at the same time i had no idea how i was going to manage i was living across the country from my family at the time working in the field i loved but with a boss who threw a chair at an employee and would yell at us during staff meetings now i m fully aware that i played a role in this that i had responsibilities the responsible thing to do was not bring another human into the chaos that was our lives at that moment thankfully at the time we lived about a block away from a planned parenthood the idea was that i d go home after but my nightmare boss made me come into work and then later questioned my loyalty which is when i decided to leave that job too the procedure was simple enough that i could work afterwards there was very little pain frankly a lot less painful than childbirth and a lot less expensive than raising kids my daughters are now 21 and 24 they re both working in fields they love which happen to be with children they re both on birth control even though only 1 has a serous relationship right now i m incredibly proud of them i m also proud of me i raised them i got myself a job in a department with really good people who supported me and cheered me on when i went back to school i work for a boss who recognizes that people come first and gave me promotions every time he could i own my own townhouse now i m raising two kitties now both rescues not once have i ever regretted my decision to have an abortion and no i don t even regret the intercourse that led to it because at the time i was committed to my marriage which he broke i just finally put myself and my girls back together no one deserves my story which is why i haven t shared it before i m sharing it now because this country still allows free speech i ve got to exercise any and all rights i have left posted by april at 5 43 pm labels single parenting x chronicles sunday january 9 2022 maybe we should embrace the trauma i m going to spoil the ending of the limited series dopesick so fair warning i m only semi serious of course since the end is still playing out in court but i m talking about the actual series here which i didn t know how they d end turns out they found the perfect ending and i can t stop thinking about it they offered the possibility that maybe we should stop trying to stop feeling pain i offer it here not just as an answer to the opioid epidemic but also in response to the pandemic the political divides the many divides that we re finding as a way to separate ourselves working mom vs stay at home mom mom versus childfree married versus single which are all relatively harmless especially when compared to some of the horrific dividers that have gotten people killed racism misogyny and the prejudices that have started wars i saw a headline of an opinion piece that school shutdowns are only hurting children which of course is problematic since shutdowns might also be saving lives but it s the prime example of what is happening it s someone else crying for us to pay attention to their pain their plight we re all in pain we re all suffering in one way or another because we re in a pandemic but even if we weren t each of us has suffered some sort of trauma some sort of longing some desire to connect with others what i find sad is that in this moment when we re all suffering instead of coming together there are so many that are trying to find someone to blame we re all to blame no one is to blame did i mention we re in a pandemic particularly us americans we mistake our right to pursue happiness as some sort of promise that no one should ever cause us unhappiness and that if they do someone will pay i work in the legal profession i understand and appreciate on a daily level our constitutional rights that include our day in court when someone has committed a crime causing us unhappiness is not in fact a crime and i confess i do it too i place blame on anti vaxxers for prolonging the pandemic but even if i do and even though i have wondered if there s a way for them to stand trial i know that s futile so i vent with my friends a...