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Text of the page (random words):
what my former self can tell me now friday august 16 2013 friends becoming bitches september 4 1996 it was my first day of school i guess school is ok all things considered i don t have a lot of friends in my classes or at least not friends i m used to having in class anna jill tess about tess though god how annoying do you get talk about a bitch with a capital b she is so mean last night i invited her to this really cool show blue man group with me i would think that would mean a lot to her because inviting her is like a privilege but she ignores me all day now i totally wish i hadn t invited her if all she wants is popularity then she can have it she can be popular with ella and molly and lily and whoever the hell she considers really and truly important you know basically the people who don t like her and talk about her behind her back hey you know who she wants to be friends with is her choice i shouldn t even be writing about it since she is or at least was my friend but i care that the friends she s choosing aren t the people that care about her i know for her a friend is someone who can help her be in with the popular crowd but i know and she should know that when she s older the friends she has picked just aren t going to cut it when she s let s say 19 she s going to want real friends to help her with boyfriend troubles or parent troubles or what not i m not saying i m the perfect friend but i care about people and her and i think i would serve her better as a friend than any of the people she lately seems to think are more important than me so i guess that s it well it s not i actually think you should know that i m getting so into my room this weekend i m taking an old toy box and painting it to put in my room tomorrow i want to look in the basement for for some possible cool stuff remind me like you can talk love corë posted by corey haydu at 8 16 2013 05 48 00 pm 1 comment tuesday august 13 2013 awesome list of things to buy at mall august 11 1996 beth here s my shopping list for my natick mall trip 1 nail polish hot topic 2 fake tattoos spencer s 3 cool hat gap 579 claire s other 4 blush cvs 5 lipstick cvs 6 beanie babies mall st 7 lip balms lip lix cvs 8 shoes payless 9 anklets mall st afterthoughts 10 barrettes claire s afterthoughts 11 little butterfly clips claires afterthoughts 12 magazines and comics bookstore cvs 13 candy sweet factory 14 books bookstore 15 perfume body shop bath and bodyworks 16 stationary 17 pens 18 knee socks hot topic 19 long bead necklace claire s afterthoughts 20 toe rings claire s afterthoughts 21 scarves and headbands 22 table for room mom pay for you know what i want for christmas the two big things i want a lava lamp and a water bed i m psyched i want to go home 5 fucking days love cor ë i mean this whole list is amazing but the last two additions are by far the best because who am i lava lamp and water bed am i a 22 year old trying to seduce hot chicks in the early 90s am i a hippie it s unclear but they definitely go with my long beaded necklaces scarves anklets and toe rings lava lamp and water bed and beanie babies of course sigh oh corë posted by corey haydu at 8 13 2013 09 44 00 pm no comments tuesday july 30 2013 everything is a problem august 9th cont hi beth well i just got a wonderful little comment from brenda the fucking cabin just takes me cd case and takes the lion king cd out of it and puts it on without my permission i got mad and brenda said everything s a problem to you thankx corë august 10 1996 hey bethy 5 days ok here s the news mom called here last night and spoke to this head person alicia she spoke to nan my counselor and then we had a cabin meeting oh maybe i should tell you what mom called about she called to tell about how tired i am i ve been complaining about it i think if she d done it a few months ago i would have killed her but i m actually a little happy that she did ok also today for mail i got 2 postcards from gramma iris and a letter from anna second day that i haven t gotten a letter from mom well that s just about it i can t wait to go home i hope i get a good dinner tonight and i also hope i get at least a letter from mom tomorrow love corë ps lauren the lion king director told me i had beautiful hair yea oh everything about this is terrible first of all i have to agree with brenda that in this period of time i make a huge issue out of everything and playing my lion king cd is no big deal and omg i just wish i would chilllll i also love how i sort of leap over the really interesting thing here which is that my mother called camp and told them i was tired and then we had a cabin meeting about it i m wondering if there is maybe more to this story and i m wondering how a conversation like this actually would go i m so sad for corë she is so clearly depressed i mean right or maybe this is what being 13 is like at least i had beautiful hair posted by corey haydu at 7 30 2013 06 10 00 pm 1 comment friday june 28 2013 i m sorta pretty but really deep august 9 1996 bethany i m a lot better now i think i ll be ok i ve had a really good day french toast sticks and rice krispies for breakfast and good classes i m wearing an awesome outfit new jeans short ribbed aqua t shirt everyone is treating me okay ellen is going to tell them all about my family stuff so that will be good and it can t get much worse this camp experience as awful as it has been has taught me a hell of a lot i deal with stuff i know that writing with you makes me feel better i know more about me i think i understand people better so i guess it hasn t been a total waste although it hasn t been great oh well i know i ll never be here again and i know i won t meet anyone here again if i do meet them it will be because they were my friends i ll miss camp and some of the people but home will be great being away makes me realize how lucky i am i am lucky i have home and parents and cool clothes i have ok grades i m pretty sorta i have an awesome bedroom great friends etc it s just a matter of getting home can t wait corë spoiler alert things at home will not be great also what s hotter than a short ribbed aqua t shirt um nothing if you ve been following since the beginning you can see the start of the loss of confidence about my looks back when i was ten i was positive i was crazy pretty third prettiest in the whole grade to be exact now i immediately backtrack on my confidence about my attractiveness it s sort of tragic a tragic parenthetical good thing i ve learned so much about myself and about others i assume what i really mean is that i have learned how much better than everyone else i am or how misunderstood and deep i am lastly i would totally love some french toast sticks right about now that sounds amazing posted by corey haydu at 6 28 2013 04 47 00 pm no comments thursday june 20 2013 more tantrums at camp august 9 1996 dear beth i m so sad and i can t think of any way to be happy besides thinking about going home last night was a fake auction thing we won caitlin a counselor as a slave and then my idiotic cabin decided to also bid for fishing during rest hour i was screaming at them not to but they did and we fucking won it so i was mad they stay up late we wake up early and then they take away my rest hour to go fishing so then they all go to the point to what else talk about me ellen was there and she walked away from the conversation to find me sobbing alone in the cabin we talked it out she knows i m sad because of stuff with my family and i m not used to being unpopular i don t know what to do i know it s only seven days but i am so sad i don t have any friends on the last day of camp no one is going to huge me and say goodbye my only solution is to tell ellen to tell them what is bothering me with family stuff and explain that anything can set me off beth this was one of the worst experiences of my life love corë awwww little corey or corë so painful to read this i literally at this point in my camp experience want to do nothing but sleep and i can t deal with it if one day of sleeping time is compromised this is literally a fight about me not getting a nap it s like i reverted from 13 to 3 in the course of one summer or maybe this is what being 13 is like sometimes thanks ellen for coming through i knew you would the line i m not used to being unpopular kills me kills me it hurts if a 13 year old in your life is acting massively irritating be kind to her on behalf of 13 year old corë posted by corey haydu at 6 20 2013 03 50 00 pm no comments tuesday june 18 2013 more sad missives from camp more umlauts august 7 1996 beth i think the way you can tell if someone is your friend or not is if you feel uncomfortable saying things that are important to you then she isn t really your friend cece isn t my friend every time i say something i worry about what she s going to say she always has some random bad comment i don t understand why she can never agree with me or at least respect what i m saying it s really sad because she was so great last year and this year she s just not it makes me really sad love corë a rare moment of actual valid insight too bad i m still using an umlaut so i can t take my 13 year old self seriously august 8 1996 bethany camp is over soon just 8 days i hope it goes fast i also hope we get a double rest hour i m tired i m very tired and i have a little half headache thing my analogy that makes me feel better you look forward to christmas for a long time on christmas you re psyched but the excitement wears off after the initial happiness so 8 days isn t very long but it s nice to have something to look forward to when i get home i ll appreciate it the only really truly bad thing is tennis i mean i don t like having freedom etc but tennis is what makes it bad i ll make it can t wait remember it will happen love corë poor little corey i feel like she was so depressed every entry in this period of time is all tiredness and headaches and reading cynthia voight so at least i had that i m also unclear on what was so awful about tennis but it too shows up in every entry from these four weeks at camp i also have no idea what this analogy means i think i have not yet mastered analogies yet umlaut you haunt me posted by corey haydu at 6 18 2013 05 42 00 pm no comments wednesday may 1 2013 in which i contemplate a beret hey beth i want to go fucking home i had so much fun with my family i got a crazy creek chair jean overalls and the coolest jeans they are wide legged they look good on me i think i m going for a totally new style this year i m going to buy this really cool beret and look all hippie ish i want to grow my hair longer and get like platform type shoes i m so psyched and i want cool dresses and i have this awesome new shirt that mom gave me and i m going to spray chamomile tea in my hair and it will turn lighter i have tons of fake tattoos now like 30 or so that i wear a lot i can t wait get me home love corë still using the umlaut and now planning on wearing a beret the cool won t stop posted by corey haydu at 5 01 2013 03 02 00 pm 2 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom blogcatalog about me corey haydu i have been keeping a journal since i was ten and they are all stored in an antique trunk in my studio apartment view my complete profile blog archive 2013 10 august 2 friends becoming bitches awesome list of things to buy at mall july 1 june 3 may 1 april 1 march 2 2012 21 november 3 october 2 september 3 august 7 july 3 march 1 february 2 2011 10 december 1 november 2 june 2 may 1 march 2 february 2 2010 17 october 1 september 1 july 1 june 1 may 3 april 3 march 2 february 3 january 2 2009 50 december 4 november 1 october 3 september 3 august 8 july 8 june 5 may 11 april 7 followers simple theme powered by blogger