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Text of the page (random words):
or better opportunities and money they suffered financial problems and couldn t afford to hire a helper to take care of me and my mom did not want to send me to a daycare or babysitter because she d heard horror stories of babysitters abusing their charges thirty years ago people worked 5 5 day work weeks saturday was a half day s work so for the love of their children every saturday after work my parents would board a bus or train and make their way down to penang to see us this was before the construction of the north south highway so it took like 6 8 hours one way they would arrive around midnight on saturday or the early hours of sunday then they would spend mere hours with me and my brother before taking another bus back to kl on sunday evening t______t i did not know this i mean i did but i never properly considered what a burden my parents shouldered balancing earning a better future for the family and not being present to care for us and watch us grow i have a memory from when i was four and my parents were again leaving for the station i was so upset at their departure but at the same time i was a sensitive child and i knew that if they knew i was sad they would feel even worse i remember running to the back of my grandma s colonial shop house so they wouldn t see me cry eventually when i was 5 6 my brother and i moved to kl to live with my parents ok so all is good on her sacrifice for motherhood the initial years of marriage and parenthood were financially tough on my parents but as years passed they worked hard and managed to creep up the ladder my mom trained as a secretary going to secretary school to learn typing and shorthand she must have done well and been promoted because she started working in ogilvy mather as an advertising exec coincidentally in my own career in media i worked with ogilvy too as a sister agency hahaha when i was seven years old i caught sick and was hospitalized with bronchitis i was generally a weak kid with asthma wtf i recovered but i am that annoying kiasu kid you d hate lol i got very stressed out because i d missed so much school and i didn t know how to do the work wtf hahahaha i couldn t accept cos i had always been a top achiever lolll i have a memory of myself crying on the staircase at home wishing that my mom would take me out of school wtf my mom didn t do that but she did resign from her job at that point she told me her career was on the ascend she was working in the pr department of the klse by then and doing very well but she made the choice to give up her job give up her career and be a stay home mom to look after me tears pricked my eyes why did you do that i asked i had recovered by then yes it was very difficult because i was doing so well i was flying high and so proud of myself but at that point i asked myself which is more important my career or my daughter and the answer was always you she told me gently she went on to say that she had no regrets doing that because under her care i was finally putting on weight i was always skinny and sickly before and that you could have amazing helpers but there s no replacement for a mother s care and watchfulness and look at me the me and barry today is her success i really cry max lo t_________t i would have sobbed out loud if not for the entire video crew staring at me wtf on her greatest achievement she simply said the both of you me and my brother the best day for her was our graduation days she cried watching us walk up to get our diplomas some more i walked the wrong way wtf again i didn t know this cos she s always so tough and practical our successes today are her successes her happiness is knowing that we ve both turned out to be smart book loving thoughtful filial adults and crazily that we both make it a point to see them at least once every week because she said a lot of her friends live in the vicinity of their grown kids but their kids don t even see them as often whaaaaat that s the bare minimum to me wtf that day i saw my mom as she is not as i knew her not a mother who nagged and didn t distribute hugs and jokes the way my dad did but a woman a wife and mother who loved so fiercely that sometimes it overwhelmed her bonds with her family who was so protective of us and would fight for us but was so soft and vulnerable inside that she created a hard shell for herself that as i didn t know how to see through as a child well now i do and i appreciate and love her more than ever happy mother s day mummy one with the two halves of me 3 3 comments function var nn document createelement script nn type text javascript nn src synad3 nuffnang com my lr js var s document getelementsbytagname script 0 s parentnode insertbefore nn s nextsibling audparenting fighter and his math teacher may 1 2021 by audrey i posted this picture on instagram the other day and got a lot of messages from people who were tickled that fighter wrote i hate for math in his timetable lolol but there s a deeper darker story to this that i m going to share here if you look again he also wrote i hate for art and that s because the math teacher and art teacher are the same person now fighter is good in languages he s progressing steadily in mandarin and bahasa even though we don t speak them at home and he s still working on his korean but everyone has strengths and weaknesses and fighter s weakness happens to be math he doesn t grasp concepts as quickly as penny and even when he does if the question is phrased differently he has to start from scratch again and he s also super careless la wtf like me lol so he often makes silly mistakes as well so math is and continues to be a challenge for him he doesn t enjoy it and to make matters worse his math teacher sounds like a dragon wtf fierce never mind but from what i hear she often scolds and picks on kids who get problems wrong or don t learn as quickly as the rest which is fighter la wtf i also don t know why she feels the need to scold for mistakes to me scolding should be reserved for outright disobedience or dishonesty or something willful not honest mistakes or not grasping a concept maybe it s chinese school maybe it s her i don t know what s more fighter is an extremely sensitive and emotional child he s so afraid of stepping over a line that most of the time i don t even need to scold him when he does something wrong i just have to look not happy wtf and he will immediately stop whatever annoying thing he s doing hahaha so for him to go to school and get scolded by his math teacher nearly every day took a toll far worse than we d ever anticipated i knew he didn t like his teacher so i tried to help him by buying math workbooks for him to practice with i told him when she scolded him to imagine her in her big underpants so it would be easier to cope with a scolding life went on then he had three meltdowns all within a week he s nearly eight he hasn t had a proper tantrum in a long time but within the span of days he had a meltdown when he couldn t stuff his color pencils back into their box he cried and screamed when i asked him to do his extra work book and when he was having bm tuition he exploded at the tutor because she made a joke when he spelled something wrong this tutor is relatively new to us so i felt damn bad about her getting caught in his outburst i also knew at once that something must be going on with him that i didn t know about the math teacher was at the back of my mind but shamefully i didn t think it was that serious instead i worried it would be something worse like bullying or inappropriate touching wtf so i took him aside and talked to him he said nothing except my math teacher i think at this point at some level i still did not really connect his issues with the teacher to his outbursts i thought he was frustrated and emo because of her so we talked about how i could coach him to improve his math so she wouldn t pick on him anymore i also explained to his bahasa tutor what was going on his tutor happens to also teach at his school and she told me she would talk to his class teacher about this this touched me because i was actually hesitant to speak to the math teacher myself i ve never met her and i didn t know how she would react to me essentially telling her how to do job what if she took it out on fighter again that evening we went out for dinner as a family and fighter seemed calm talking and joking like normal later on though while we were walking through the mall fighter suddenly gripped my arm and said mommy i don t know why but i suddenly feel scared scared of what i don t know just scared i felt his hands they didn t feel cold i tried to feel for his heartbeat but couldn t feel anything wtf what were you thinking of when you started to feel scared i asked him nothing michael jackson fighter told me michael jackson is his favorite artiste at the moment wtf i asked if he felt like crying and he said no he just felt scared he looked around at the world around us and just felt afraid of everything his feeling of fear lasted for around ten minutes i think i was panicking inside wondering if this was an anxiety attack and planning to call our pediatrician the next day outwardly i kept calm and we continued on home in the car he suddenly said in a choked voice i think i want to cry now he proceeded to let go screaming and wailing until his tears were spent i let him cry handing him tissues to mop his tears until he was done when we got home he started to get emotional again i told him to let it out and again he did sobbing into my chest i held him close intermittently wiping away his tears when he had nothing left he quietened down i asked him if he felt better and he nodded i got him showered put him to bed and the next morning he really did look back to his usual self cheerful patient and good natured i was overcome with relief naturally i don t know what happened but it seemed like an anxiety attack which is super scary in a child his age some more i was thinking how ah die i have to deal with two people in the household with anxiety issues wtf that was last weekend this week one day i picked him up from school and he came out dragging his roller bag behind him muttering i had a bad day asked him what happened and it turned out the math teacher rushed him for not knowing his seven times table he couldn t memorize it in time and she apparently said faster this doesn t sound like much on its own but keep in mind that fighter has been feeling very wounded with her and this was the latest hurt he has been trying hard to win her approval and i think a major sting was that for some reason she praised other kids who were at lower times tables than him but still snapped at him he got home put down his bag and went into his room to cry again i was late for a shoot but son work so i sat with him and cuddled him while he cried and he clung to me like a koala while he wept t___t one silver lining though is that his bm cikgu had got in touch with his class teacher his class teacher is a super sweet lady who called him to her desk during recess to talk about this she told him not to worry she would find a solution for him i m so thankful for her t_____t at least someone is on his side and can help us when fighter s panic attack happened i was so scared nothing had prepared me for the possibility that he might have mental health issues and i was so afraid for what life would be for him i m not a helicopter parent at all and i don t like stepping in or interfering with children s issues believing they need to learn how to overcome problems themselves but this seems way too big to just leave alone on one hand i m scared of molly coddling him on the other what if i don t and it gets so much worse and i regret my inaction i m also writing this because i wanted to highlight the importance of listening to children fighter told me he didn t like the teacher but i didn t want to overreact and over protect him so i let it be when he let everything that he was bottling out and felt better i realized how stupid we grown ups sometimes are when we tell kids why you cry over this small thing nothing to cry about or so big already don t cry or shame on you for crying or even it s okay because something is not okay that s why they re crying i learned how important it is to listen to kids and give them the space to feel and to acknowledge their emotions i told fighter i m sorry for the times i told you not to cry because you should cry when you re upset you need to cry and let out all the bad feelings so that those bad feelings don t stay inside you and make you feel scared for no reason i think that s why the last time he did cry over the teacher he held on to me rather than me holding him because he knew i would accept him tears and sadness and all i do regret dismissing his and penny s feelings sometimes i m sure i did whenever i tell them not to cry over small stuff this is a very timely lesson to me wtf on the teacher s front i thanked his tutor for highlighting it to his class teacher she sounded taken aback and shy like she didn t expect to be thanked for it i also texted his class teacher i don t know why the math teacher is acting this way is fighter being over sensitive is she overworked and tired is she just impatient but i trust we will find a solution i m glad to know that fighter at least has these two caring teachers in his corner 5 comments function var nn document createelement script nn type text javascript nn src synad3 nuffnang com my lr js var s document getelementsbytagname script 0 s parentnode insertbefore nn s nextsibling audbaby things fighter and penny say part whatever february 2 2021 february 2 2021 by audrey time for another things fighter and penny say penny i think next time i want to be like auntie sherlyn i ll get a dog and have a husband but i don t want kids fighter i changed my mind mommy i think i don t want to get married i just want to stay with you and daddy forever me how about you baby do you want to stay with us too or have your own house penny i want my own big house gestures widely fighter yay then i get the barbie house fatty somebody s gotta tell him than in 20 years he won t want the barbie house me i tried he can t imagine ever not wanting the barbie house fighter mommy you know why ah chor their great grandmother and all the old people are still alive because on my 6th and 7th birthday i wished that they would be alive forever mummy ooi i don t really like caviar i don t know why people like it fighter i also don t really like javier he bombed my minecraft house editor s note he heard caviar as javier hahahahahahaha fighter mommy does a serial killer eat cereal not really something they said but it was too cute i had to include this the kids play a game called bloxburg on roblox which is similar to the sims you work a job earn money to build your own house and furnish it the difference is you get to interact with other players in your...