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Text of the page (random words):
ate or we were living well beneath the standards of the day i walked over and petted a goat s head who d popped up on the other side of the back fence i needed to get away run away i squatted down picking up the hem of my dress so it wouldn t fall in the puddle to speak to my brother but he wouldn t respond i stood up and looked in the window just a dark hole no glass no screen and saw the back of my mother in shadow she was washing dishes or baking doing somethng with her back turned to me in the kitchen suddenly i decided to leave i had a small bag of things that i slung across my shoulders i opened the gate and began to walk down the road to whatever lay ahead the vision ended and i rose back up vision 2 okay back down again harder to pull the image into view this time but eventually i realized that i had on tall rain boots serious yellow galoshes and a thick yellow raincoat and a hat like fishermen wear it was pouring and i was standing on the edge of cliff looking down at the rocky edges of the land and ocean waiting for a ship i was a man about 50 years old i was waiting for the ship that held the woman i was going to marry it was an arranged marriage she d been promised to me the ship was supposed to arrive today but the weather was bad and i was concerned that the ship would run aground it didn t come and it didn t come and i was cold and soaked despite the rain gear i was a fisherman who d owned a fairly respectable business at one time but now i was down to just one boat and me i was scaling back my name was bruce my fiance s name was sarah i wasn t sure where i lived but i knew it was along the coast of the eastern u s or possibly as far north as nova scotia i wasn t sure eventually i realized it was ridiculous to keep standing there waiting the town wasn t much of a town just a small grouping of buildings with houses farther out and scattered the land was rocky and hilly and i had few friends and no neighbors i walked to the ship chandler s office they kept up on ships coming and goings because there was no one else to do it and up the two wooden steps the bell over the door tinkled as i went in sure enough the ship had been delayed due to the storm they thought it would arrive the next day possibly i trudged back home my house was one large room with a franklin stove in the center my dog was asleep on the floor and barely lifted his head to acknowledge me when i came in i peeled off my rain gear and hung the coat on the hook by the door i sat by the stove and warmed dried myself and realized that the house was much too small for two people that when sarah arrived she d be very unhappy with the place that i should have begun building the additions at least a bedroom long before now but i hadn t been able to muster the energy for it i wanted this wife but wasn t sure i was cut out for companionship when asked for a date i hesitated and then said 1682 no that s a date of significance but the time i m in is later much later than that it felt like 200 years after that date i didn t know why 1682 popped out at me the vision went away when i returned to work i had to research someone who d recently bought a house in little compton rhode island it s on the coast and was founded in 1692 seeing that date made me jump a little in my seat coincidence i have no idea but it was quite an interesting one 18 jan the things i carry posted by freshhell in curiosities diversions 8 comments after a conversation about purses and handbags and why we carry what we do i thought hell if my sister can blog about handbags why can t i i m not all that into purses per se i like something that reflects my personality but i only use one at a time i can t switch back and forth from one to the other as the mood strikes me mainly because i never have that mood but because switching out all the stuff i carry around with me from one purse to another is a monumental task but my main requirements are that the purse is nice to look at i prefer cloth in general over leather or pleather two it has to have a strap long enough for my shoulder or across my body three it must be big enough for my crap and a paperback book four it can t be so big that i m weighed down by it and get yelled at by my chiropractor i carry a separate bag for things like my calendar large books food etc five it has to be hard for a pickpocket to get a hand into i like a flap that folds over the front rather than something that opens at the top in big cities i can wear it backwards with the flap against my body and not worry that someone s sneaking in and taking my wallet does that make me paranoid or smart i don t know here s my current purse i bought it on etsy i added the little crocodile button to the front flap i like the idea of a one of a kind handmade purse here s what s inside at present the list wallet purple leather from target i ve had it for years and will keep it until it falls apart address book with pictures of old timey phones and phone booths on it because i miss those days black bag of stuff see below pack of tissues comb doesn t fit in black bag i rarely use it anyway bottles of airborne and zicam to stave off illness bottle of lotion from a hotel room doesn t smell all that great but it s good in a pinch burt s bees lip balm i m really a chapstick gal i have tubes and tubes of it at home but one day the store was out of chapstick original and i just sucked it up and bought bb once it s used up i ll buy more chapstick phone it sucks and i only use it for emergencies house work keys with a variety of keychains i seem to accumulate car keys are either on the kitchen counter or in my coat pocket measuring tape because when i want to order clothes online at work ahem i find it helpful to be able to take my measurements right then and there doesn t everyone do this two useless coupons to justice this is red s fav store and we were given these to tempt us back they ll expire and i ll throw them away two aa batteries for my camera which i don t usually carry with me but nice to have on those occasions when i need to take pictures and the batteries die two samples of hard night good morning facial cocktail serum i got in austin back in oct haven t used them yet maybe one day i ll remember four ink pens one cannot have enough pens esp when one writes pair of dusty s mustache earrings couple of loose paper clips if need be i can also carry my camera and a book or a sandwich if i arrange things just so also i sometimes carry a little notebook too right now it s in the car on the passenger seat the last one i had in my purse was filled up by red in the black bag inside small bottle of beano to go eyeglasses repair kit sewing kit from a hotel years and year ago can t tell you how handy this is three premoistened toilettes for cleaning eyeglasses clearly i ve never used these but feel compelled to carry them with me just in case tweezers used mostly for removing chin hairs small round hand mirror for seeing chin hairs two flashdrives one with the current novels on it the other with old photos a small container with antacids in it pair of very uncomfortable earbuds comes in handy when i m writing in a public place and need to block noise with music ziplock bog with many bandaids and a couple one use flossers sanitary napkin don t want to be caught without one house key for my mother s house which i haven t put on the key chain yet stupid smelly lip gloss that i never use and should throw away revlon colorstay mineral lipglaze smells like rancid candy bottle opener a must have bag clip emery board 8 tablets of famotidine generic pepcid yes i have stomach issues collapsible sewing scissors always in use blue and yellow samples of postit flags nail clippers one cherry tums in its wrapper random assortment of binder clips and paperclips short little ikea pencil i used to have a couple imodium ads but they expired so i tossed them and haven t replaced them yet what s the oddest thing you carry in your purse 11 jan a new thing posted by freshhell in uncategorized 3 comments a new year a writing shift i haven t completely abandoned this space yet but right now it s my fiction brain that s working hard follow me on tumblr http cbrookman tumblr com 31 dec a year in which i classed up the joint posted by freshhell in uncategorized 12 comments well i suppose i need to sum up 2012 i ve lately felt here a writer s block of sorts that feeling in the gut that i have to write an essay and i haven t attended class yet so this will not be a stunning piece of poetry most of my insights will remain within it was a good holiday as those things go restful illness free though red s under the weather today with an asthma related something or other with just the right amount of family togetherness and silence i took not a single photograph of either xmas eve or xmas day chalk it up to having too much fun and distraction to grab the camera and force people to smile i guess i understand why i have so few christmas photos from childhood apart from the staged torture of christmas card pictures i ve been transferring numbers and notes and dates from the old calendar to the new rather than attempt to go through a year s worth of posts wanda who s wanda and why did i have an appt to ohh now i remember to find the highpoints here s what i ve got 1 pets we re down to one lizard but we gained two feisty and adorable guinea pigs santa brought them last year and though they ve had to move into separate abodes they ve been enjoyable to have around pokey likes them too 2 travel i did a bit of travelling this year in april i took dusty and red to dc during spring break we had a blast i could link to the post but i m afraid if i make this too complicated and back and forthy i ll give up and just join my kids in the tv room to watch despicable me so if you need refresher look up the posts in the beginning of april or search via the washington dc tag we met many historical celebrities at madame tussaud s ate pizza and discussed the merits of golf walked our dogs off and enjoyed in room movies at the hotel after that i went off to my writer s retreat in the mountains and met a fabulous young british writer who was getting ready for the publication of her first novel heart shaped bruise by tanya byrne while furiously writing her next one i went off to northern virginia in june to speak at a professional conference and met up with a couple of friends went to the beach in july and then in october sped off to austin for a fun whirlwind trip to visit lass all good 3 writing still working on this damn novel i should really get a t shirt with that on it i d wear it every day for the rest of my life until it fell off my body in rags and it would never stop being true it s hard this writing thing and i m trying to finish the current draft number three if you must know before my next retreat in february in may i attended a yoga writing workshop in the city and did another shorter workshop in sept 4 personal well a number of things aligned in my life this year that will help me move in a different direction in 2013 much of which will be painful in the short term but will hopefully lead to a happier more content place i began seeing a new counselor i did the artist s way book with a facebook group i started vein of gold cameron s next book but ended up abandoning in half way right about when i was supposed to make a doll which stymied me and then it was autumn and life was too busy to sit down and make one and i say that with full understanding that i was purposely missing the point i am hoping to begin that process again just not yet taw did help got me thinking in different ways i built a pen for the pigs one day in june nothing i did in this realm was for naught a tarot card reading self administered told me that my gut my instincts the signs and portents all point in the same direction my body began to change and my doctor is now officially calling my stage early menopause it s good i m ready for it i also found a new massage therapist who does reiki his findings also jive with the other signs which considering he knew nothing about me going in and to whom i d said nothing of a personal nature i find interesting i m going to start seeing him once a month even better he knows someone who does past life regressions something i ve done in the past and which still fascinates me so that s on the horizon for next year too the year brought sadness as well i lost a good blogging friend turquoise aka violet white who lost a battle with cancer she was a patron of dusty s and i now have the cat dusty made especially for her i miss her but seeing the cat on my bookshelf a little part of her is still here with me 5 dusty my word dusty graduated from 5th grade and entered middle school with abandon shedding much of her elementary interests including girl scouts which meant that next year i will no longer be cookie mom a role i had for four straight years it was hectic and stressful but i liked it it was a way to give back to the troop dusty s now a cadette and earned her bronze award in 2012 but will slowly work on her silver award on her own as a juliette a troopless scout she s not sewing as much these days but still enjoys photography and making videos she got her braces off just before halloween and is now being constantly reminded to put her retainer on she got a shiny red mountain bike for her twelfth birthday i bought a rack for the car so next summer the kids can ride their bikes around she is glued to her ipod and has a boyfriend so she s slipping through my fingers or rather the girl she was has left the building but i m seeing a happy confident though very private young woman approaching the change is exciting and frightening she s taken up the flute and will continue band next year she s no longer going to the y s after school program instead she ll just be taking the bus home to a sometimes empty house i trust her and i haven t seen any reason to distrust her yet did i mention she has a boyfriend god help me her big xmas gift is a june 2013 trip to new york city 6 red red is consistently herself she turned eight this year and is sassier than ever her interests have adjusted to match many of her sister s in terms of music at least she still believes in santa still enjoys her barbies but i m detecting an end to that soon this was the first christmas i haven t had to construct a playmobil house the first one with almost no toys at all her big gift was a new bed and a room re do that has turned out very well she s very pleased with her more grownup room in which there s more space for her to move around these children are growing up very fast all of a sudden 7 house stuff i refinanced our mortgage and changed to a different and cheaper home insurance so 2013 should mean a bit more money in the bank i finally had the living room redone taking some of that savings the work was done while we were at the beach and we came ...