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Text of the page (random words):
hs before we could see an re it was simply financially irresponsible for us to try and get pregnant while down one income even after our move to florida getting settled and getting new jobs expensive treatments just weren t an option for us we are very fortunate to have been able to afford four iuis and be on the road to saving for ivf when i get down about waiting this long to have a baby i count my blessings because i know that some people are less fortunate but this post isn t about the value of money it s about the value of people i think as a whole we truly value each other in this community i learned this quickly after my diagnosis so many women who were going through or had been through the exact same thing reached out to me we formed a small group on the message board eventually most of us split off from the board started our own blogs and became friends on facebook i ve said it many times but i don t know what i would do without you women particularly those of you who ve been there for me since the beginning and who still walk with me every step of the way sometimes though i think there are a select few out there who place too much value on treatment and not enough on people in the last year and a half that i ve blogged i ve read countless positive happy outcome stories stories of women who went through multiple rounds of clomid only to do an iui and become pregnant stories of women who got pregnant on their first or second round of femara and stories of women who conceived naturally after learning that their last iui failed every single one of these stories is and should be a beacon of hope for all of us we might feel barren but we are not when we least expect it our bodies can surprise us and miracles can happen and most of all every single one of us who has endured this diagnosis deserves that positive pee stick at the end of this tunnel unfortunately i ve also read a lot of apologies from these women some of them feel like a fraud some of them didn t have to go through what other women had to go through to achieve success some of them felt guilty when their friends had to move on to bigger and more expensive treatments even worse there are women on the other side of the fence those who have been through the big treatments who look down on the women with less experience as if somehow only going through a round or two of clomid and some testing make a woman less important in our community as if infertiles who go through treatments that are more complex are worthier of motherhood and happiness i m not sure when and how the line became blurred between infertiles and non infertiles to me it s always been simple if you ve sat in an exam room or an office and listen to a doctor tell you that you are infertile that you may never conceive a child the natural way or at all you are infertile if you have endured a year of trying to have a baby with no luck and you have to step foot into an re s office you are infertile if you experience loss repeat loss cancer endometriosis pcos or have a husband with male factor issues you are infertile it s bad enough that it s us against the world we shouldn t let it become us against us having only taken clomid or even getting pregnant naturally doesn t make someone less qualified to be infertile it doesn t make their advice or their friendship less meaningful it doesn t make their road any easier their nights any less sleepless their pain any less significant and in the same sense having gone through bigger treatments doesn t make someone any more important or worthy of speaking about advocating for infertility it doesn t make their emotions any more concrete it doesn t make their support more valuable the reality is that we are all in the same shitty boat we all have the same basket of lemons to carry and our value doesn t come with how many treatments we ve had or how much money or time we ve invested our value comes from how we ve supported one another how we ve offered advice how we ve cried tears of sorrow and joy and how we ve hugged and held one another from sometimes thousands of miles away each of us is equally deserving of the happiness we seek and we need to remember this because we are the only ones who understand and can pull each other through this we are all we have each of us carries a different burden on this journey we all walk in different shoes but we need to remember that our shoes are from the same store our paths will be different and we will end in different places but we all began at the same location with the same goal we all began with the hope and dream of becoming a mother posted by katie at 11 54 am wednesday july 14 2010 the one where katie s head explodes thank you all for the sweet comments on my last post i m feeling a little better emotionally anyway physically i m still in a lot of pain today has been the worst day so far probably because i tried to go cold turkey on the muscle relaxers last night i know a lot of you mentioned getting a mouth guard in your comments i ve tried using one in the past but it just doesn t work for me mouth guard more discomfort more drooling and even less sleep for the time being i m afraid that i m stuck like this my brain feels like a ticking time bomb just waiting to burst into a thousand pieces the good news is that i won t have to endure my usual two hour a day work commute tomorrow and friday since i ll be attending a conference in orlando not too far from my mom s house maybe the two days away from the office combined with less time in the car will make for less stress i m really looking forward to acu on saturday last session my acupuncturist put some needles in the area of my jaw that really hurts and it helped to take some of the pressure away she also put needles in my hips since they were extremely sore when af was in town and changed up my herbs to help with the stomach issues i had on cycle days 1 through 3 and to cleanse my uterus which apparently is not yet good soil to grow a garden according to my acupuncturist and i just love how positive she is she seems so confident that she can get my body to work and her confidence rubs off on me as i walked out the door after my last session she said next month i get you pregnant right now i cleanse your body but next month i get you pregnant boy i sure hope she s right posted by katie at 1 16 pm labels acupuncture stress tmj work monday july 12 2010 warning downer post ahead blah after finishing my antibiotics from the cough cold funk i caught at the end of june my left ear began to hurt bad i hemmed and hawed about going back to the doctor but finally decided to bite the bullet and have him check things out last week thankfully it s not an ear infection but i am clenching my teeth at night it s something i did often in my early college years and it s due to wait for it stress go figure the conversation with my doc who i ve seen since age 12 went a little something like this doc it s definitely not an ear infection it s your tmj you re clenching your jaw again have you been under a lot of stress lately me dr young you ve known me for 13 years when am i not stressed doc good point so here i am back on steroids during the day and on muscle relaxers at night to help loosen my jaw which means drooling and lots of it i know you think that s hot of course neither of these medications takes my stress away acupuncture does help but i can only go once a week none of these things helps me to finish my house and get organized before my mom moves in later this month while her new house is being built none of these things helps me prepare for my first semester as a graduate student none of these things helps me with the stress of my job none of these things helps us deal with our obnoxious neighbor and none of these things bring me a baby waiting over the last few months has been therapeutic yet it s also given me a lot of time to think about the future and all the what ifs that come with it i guess i ve been thinking about the what ifs a little too much over the past few days which is part of the reason why i m blah and i think we ve finally come to a decision about the future one that answers a particular what if that i can t seem to get out of my mind what if ivf fails the answer to that question will have to wait for another day and another post posted by katie at 3 28 pm labels decisions future ivf stress friday july 9 2010 the king i ll be the first to admit that i m not a fan of lebron james for a number of reasons i think king james is egocentric as evidenced by his one hour tv special to announce where he would play this fall really you need an entire hour to talk about your future in the nba he hasn t won a title yet is still considered the king of what exactly i m not sure and i m a magic fan so his snub of the magic players during the 2009 playoffs really got my blood boiling not to mention how completely fucked our priorities are as a country where we d rather pay a basketball star million of dollars a year while our teachers police officers and firefighters make next to nothing to shape the future of our society and put their lives in danger for others or where lebron s decision is top story on the evening news instead of one of the other ten dozen things in this country that need our attention i digress despite this i did end up watching the special last night for the sake of my husband the things we do for love in a conversation with reporters following the announcement espn showed a brief clip of james s jerseys burning in cleveland his response i have to do what makes me happy at that moment i empathized with lebron james yes he s selfish yes they way he went about announcing his decision was classless as one reporter here put it no one goes on national television and breaks up with their wife he should have done it quietly and privately out of respect for the cavs but in the same sense i get it this was probably not an easy decision for him as he stated several times in interviews last night it was never about the money he could have easily stayed in cleveland made more money and possibly never win a title instead he chose to do what he felt was best for him and what he thought would get him to his ultimate goal winning a championship in many ways my journey with if follows a similar path i ve spent so much time trying to have faith that what we were doing would lead us to our ultimate goal having a baby only to experience failure after failure i ve had more than one doctor promise that he could get me pregnant i ve been told things were perfect but they were only perfect on paper and here i am 27 cycles later and still wondering when it s ever going to be our turn i ve tried to make this work and doctors have tried to make it work for me the fact is a drastic changed must be made for us to have a baby right now that drastic change is moving on to ivf it will leave us with less money it s a huge gamble and not everyone is on board with our decision but we needed to make the best decision for us regardless of money loyalty or emotions lebron tried he stuck with it and gave it his all but he alone cannot win a championship and just like it takes a village to raise a child or a team to win a trophy it takes more than one person to make a child in our case it takes dozens s o lebron may not be the classiest sports star or the most humble but i get where he s coming from when you want something so badly and you ve waited so long to get it you ll pull out all of the stops to reach that goal because when lebron is older and out of his prime he doesn t want to look back and say he s 31 years old with bad knees and no ring just like i don t want to look back and say i m 41 years old with a bad uterus and no baby posted by katie at 1 16 pm labels emotions goals ivf lebron james older posts home subscribe to july iclw icomleavwe join the conversation womenâ s wellness essentials hormones nutrition and strength 2025 12 15 tracking the trump healthcare bill access and costs 2025 12 10 current happenings cycle 27 acupuncture chinese herbs prenatals saving for ivf first appointment with re 3 in october with ivf 1 and only falling around february 2011 what did you say click here to add your story to the what did you say project about me katie my life these days is spent mostly with my pants down and shirt off while a man with an advanced degree touches me in inappropriate places welcome my husband and i have been trying to add to our family since may 2008 call me naive but i expected to get pregnant immediately what followed were months of heartache letdown and ultimately our struggle with infertility this is our story what i write in this blog can get angry and emotional for those of you who have never experienced infertility i cannot expect you to understand what we are going through but i can ask that you respect my emotions infertility is a life crisis it is traumatic painful and a roller coaster ride that none of us want to be on thank you for stopping by and i hope you will stick around and read our journey it is a journey that i hope will someday have a happy ending timeline june 2010 forgo final iui and begin saving for ivf start acupuncture may 2010 femara ovidrel iui 4 bfn 7 5 mm lining 19mm and 16mm follies on lefty 17 4 million swimmers post wash with 59 motility april 2010 femara ovidrel iui 3 bfn 8 mm lining 27mm follie on righty 20 5 million swimmers post wash with 47 motility march 2010 third sa shows low volume low motility 0 moving rapidly and 94 abnormal morphology lump in right breast removed it s benign we re homeowners february 2010 laparoscopy to remove 2 inch cyst on left ovary and stage 1 endometriosis january 2010 new re second sa shows low count low motility 0 moving rapidly and 68 abnormal morphology lump found in right breast november 2009 clomid estrogen ovidrel iui 2 bfn 8 5 mm lining 24mm and 18mm follies on righty 11 million swimmers post wash with 32 motility october 2009 re consult dx with unexplained infertility clomid estrogen ovidrel iui 1 bfn 7 mm lining 18mm follie on lefty and 19 mm follie on righty 11 million swimmers post wash with 68 motility june 2009 moved home to florida may 2009 hsg clear march 2009 colposcopy first sa shows 25 abnormal morphology cyst resolved blood work normal february 2009 annual visit to ob gyn 4 5 cm cyst found on left ovary dx with infertility and mild cervical dysplasia december 2008 started thinking there was a problem may 2008 we re married started trying to have a baby say hello to charting temping and peeing on sticks awards and honors finalist for the 2010 resolve team choice award for best blog creme de la creme the best of the adoption loss infertility blogs resources to learn more about coping with infertility including information for friends and family visit http www resolve org http www stirrup queens com http www fertilityauthority com http www conceiveonline com 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