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ple michigan and utah shh don t tell my family i was 17 finishing up high school when my parents informed me of our move right after graduation i must admit it was the perfect time for me to close that chapter and start a new one i haven t been back to my colorado home for 10 years i came close to going back a few weeks ago but i decided to stay put for the new year s holiday i want to remember my home the way it was perhaps i ll go back this year maybe in 5 years or maybe i ll never go back my move to utah taught me the valuable lesson of blooming where you re planted a hard lesson but very applicable to a nomad and who would be excited about living in detroit for 18 months unless you have a death wish and were prepared by living in oakland california or something when i opened my mission call and read michigan instead of germany i thought it would have been better to have been called to be a martyr i didn t sign my acceptance letter for a week i couldn t stop crying when i was by myself however i signed up for the mission and i wasn t going to back out detroit and the mission for that matter taught me my greatest life s lesson you fall in love with what you work for i will be the first to admit i didn t love the mission in the beginning it was the hardest transition of my life but the more i worked for it the more i wanted it and the more i wanted it the more i wanted to share it before i knew it i was in love i was in love with the people i was in love with what i was teaching i was in love with the mission i wanted to know the percentage of my life spent in each state i compiled a pie chart so where is my real home is it colorado where i haven t trodden for a decade but spend the majority of my life is it utah where i currently reside but always seem to step in and out of is it arizona where i yearn to be because of the warmth and palm trees is it michigan where i learned what love is is it idaho where i grew where is home maybe my life was meant to keep me moving maybe my home is a tank full of gas a map and a packed suitcase waiting by my bedroom door posted by and everything nice at 9 54 am 2 comments tuesday january 4 2011 the bathroom a sacred place the homeowners before be painted their bathrooms and kitchen a sage green sure it s an acceptable color and a few people my roommate and my mother appreciate that color unlike the majority of my life i m pretty boring when it comes to home decor give me neutrals give me space give me traditional colors give me easy on the eyes walls i decided to paint and update my bathroom over the christmas break i ve been wanting to do it for a few months now here s the exciting project the before ug super ug the after posted by and everything nice at 9 25 am 1 comment sunday june 13 2010 child abuse i love my saturdays absolutely love them traditionally i forget to turn off my alarm on my cell so i end up waking up at 6 30 in the morning this is because i normally stumble in around 1 00 or 2 00 from friday night and i m too tired to remember to turn off my alarm after hitting the chi gong of an alarm i normally just snooze myself back into a delicious slumber and then around 9 00 i ll wake up i ll just lay in bed and contemplate what the events for the day will be today was no exception to the rule i was thinking about going to the farmer s market and buying some strawberries for sunday afternoon crepes or perhaps i d like to go for a short hike and enjoy this beautiful mild summer weather then i contemplated going to the park and working on my serve i know all you married people with kids reading this are just a tad envious don t deny it i can see a bit of drool starting to form at the corner of your mouth from jealously will you please clean that up thanks oh and i think i smell a diaper you might want to change that too so around 11 i lazily rolled out of bed took a shower put on some jazz music and lollygagged around the house i decided i needed to return some items to target which lead to window shopping for sofas at a near by store which i don t need and a bed which i kinda need and clothes which i need an additional walk in closet for and after being satisfied with window shopping i realized it was 3 00 and i was hungry so i called up my favorite thai restaurant and placed an order to go now this place was in american fork and i was in orem a three city drive away the thought entered my mind to stop and visit my parent s on the way but i hurried and dismissed it i ll see them tomorrow i justified even though i ll be in their neighborhood i won t drop by to say hi real nice daughter huh it started to rain about then and as i was driving down main street in american fork the grey bmw in front of my stopped abruptly and being the cautious driver i am i stopped with plenty of space between us my driving problem is speeding which we learned a few months ago when the state trooper asked me why i was going 85 in a 65 i told him the truth officer i m not gonna lie i just came from a really awesome party where there were actually boys cute boys and they re single and i m single and i just found out that i m a decent wing girl because i totally help distract this one girl from this one cute guy so my friend could talk to him and get his digits and i m listening to my favorite song by kelly clarkson which btw she is the best idol and i love how she sorta chunked up because it makes me feel better about myself i mean how many white girls make a size 12 plus look good she has totally boosted my self esteem in being averaged sized and white and single at that because we know i do not hook up that s what kelly has taught me but most importantly the real reason why i was speeding was because everyone was going 55 in a 65 and it was bothering me i m sure the reason was you i hate how everyone slows down when they see a cop and to be honest i would have slowed down too if i saw you but obviously i didn t see you and i really really really have to pee did you know i held it for almost 2 days straight when i was 19 i d guess you didn t know that because we just met but you asked why i was speeding and i know from sad experience it s not good to have bladder which floweth over yeah not a good story bladder infections are painful and i needed to relieve myself he dropped the ticket from 20 to 5 over i think he liked how honest i was and yes i really had to pee and yes i did hold if for almost 2 days and yes kelly clarkson rules meanwhile back at the ranch the huge suburban in back of me stopped or so i thought however the red explorer in back of him did not this is about the time in my blog i would put in some witty physics equation and tell you the mathematical reasoning or gravitational pull and the viscosity of the liquids on the road to explain the fender bender however i got a d in my physics class at byu and i have retained nothing from that class not even what the text book looked like therefore i won t bore you with advanced physics the only word i ll use to describe the experience is bang or perhaps crash or blu mish you choose whatever you d like i feel so bad for my cabella my camry her bum is thrashed before i called the police i took pictures because it s not everyday i m in a fender bender woo hoo part ay that and i m virginia jacobson granddaughter of virginia fish who always has a camera on her and takes pictures of everything i ended up calling my parents and asking them to pick me up when all the paperwork was written and exchanged cabella in a automotive body repair shop the cold thai food picked up and medicine taken for the headache and whip flash my mother looked into her rearview mirror while driving her avalon which i drove and hit my sister s car but we won t talk about that and said honey i m glad you re safe i m glad you re not at fault but dear you know all of this could have been avoided if you would have come by our place first oh the guilt i m still planning on coming out to their place for sunday dinner but i m looking for a ride do you think you could help i m not all that upset there was a small scratch on the bumper from the previous owner which bothered me and now that ll be fixed way to look at the glass half full doh yeah this is why people buy suvs or at least compact suvs eveidently they don t bash like little sedans favorite thing about this pic look at the business in the background posted by and everything nice at 12 49 am 2 comments tuesday june 8 2010 single 20ish mormon blogger a while ago my sister encouraged me to submit a few blogs for mormontimes com on being a 20ish single mormon some are more polished than others but funny insights into the dating or lack thereof world of mine even though i didn t make the first cut i thought these were pretty funny enjoy oxy mormon mormon single adult these words don t make any sense they don t go together as a matter of fact if you were to combine all of those words into a title or sentence it would be an oxymoron it s a phase of adulthood with puberty like moments of awkwardness and growth spurts you re too old to be young but way too young to be considered old you attend church where there are 18 year olds with their high school cap tassel hanging from their rear view mirror and 29 year old doctors finishing their first residency some have rarely dated while others have been previously married there are so many of us entering or exiting different phases of life and the only thing we have in common is we re single mormon adults we re oxy mormons we re single adults in a marriage encouraging family oriented kid producing church during our first adolescence church leaders strongly advised an appropriate division between guys and girls this was very evident in the stake dances i attended as a teenager at first i thought they were traditional jewish weddings because the guys would be on one side of the dance floor and the girls would be on the other only the boldest of young men dared to cross the room to ask a young woman to dance we heard cautions of no dating before age 16 and no steady dating period preached at every youth fireside and sunday mutual lesson but as adults we find that though the church doctrine remains unchanged the message is much different we no longer hang out with the opposite gender but instead we re counseled to earnestly seek out a potential mate in fact the first major difference that i noticed from my childhood ward to my singles ward is the social aspect now we have activities like mix and mingles so you can flirt with others right after church why wait until friday night there re dances service projects fhe groups all designed for one purpose matrimony moving us out of this gangly second teenage hood i don t mind this awkward stage of life of being an oxy mormon it s uncomfortable at times much like my braces and glasses were at age 15 but i hope i can emerge from this second adolescence confident and stronger and hopefully without the acne dead love life don t worry there s still hope ya just gotta die first i am what i like to call an oxy mormon i m 26 mormon and single and it s okay to be all three attributes at one time not only do i bear that weird title but i feel i m at a strange like in between stages of life i m too young to be the innocent dependent 21 year old but also not old enough to get kicked out of my singles ward just yet i served a mission attempted to graduated from byu i do but my diploma actually says byu i didn t get the ring started one of those grown up jobs bought a car and a place on my own within a year and now here i am writing a blog on something people like me would like to see dating every ces fireside combined relief society and priesthood meeting general conference talk on dating and being single is pretty much the same it starts off with a message to the men and it goes something like this men serve an honorable mission come home get an education date find a wife start your career raise a family and then celebrate your 23 rd birthday women get an education prepare for a single life and always say yes to dates and then they ll sum it up in the most sincere and almost apologetic tone of voice if i could type this next part in a little cute and crafty vinyl lettering font i would however some of you may never marry in this life they ll traditionally pause for three seconds sigh and then they ll hang their head the lord blesses you for your efforts in his own time he will fulfill your righteous desire just hang in there and endure to the end i sit there and do you know what this oxy mormon is thinking if i m one of those people who never get the opportunity i m better off dead when it comes to my love life isn t that what they re saying because you tried to date and failed at it your dating will be better once you re dead okay i really don t think that it s just a nice back up plan if you don t get to the eternal jump off in this life but still there is a bit of truth to that isn t there i need some ice cream now maybe i ll die from a heart attack and that ll be the start of a great love story come on ben and jerry help a sista out tap dancing blind date my blind date is tap dancing in the restaurant while we re eating and everyone is looking at us now let me back up everything was normal before we got to this point in the evening brandon and i names have been changed to protect the innocent and the embarrassed went through the traditional blind date rituals tentative facebooking brief texting and finally agreeing to a face to face meeting we agreed on a restaurant and the date was set he seemed normal outgoing and fun to be with he was a returned missionary went to byu was employed and active in his ward what could go wrong as we ordered our food i learned that brandon was a dancer while at byu and his forte was tap and clogging holding to true to blind date etiquette i asked him about this hobby of his that s what we do on blind dates learn about other people and their interests brandon s response was enthusiastic to say the least he was still talking about the finer points of clogging when our food arrived as soon as the waitress left brandon leaned forward and revealed a fascinating tap dancing tidbit there are five different ways tap dancers can land on their feet do you know what they are uh i don t know i said while lifting my fork to my mouth let s see flat footed on your heel on your toe and i m not quite sure about the rest here brandon said while standing up and placing his napkin on his chair let me show you he got up from our booth and performed a 45 second tap dance routine in the restaurant a public restaurant all of a sudden the sound of causal eating ceased and all eyes were on us i knew right away this was going to be a very interesting evening now i d like to pause the story just like they freeze the frame in the movies picture me at the restaurant watching brandon dance and everyone is looking at him or me i had a choice ...