Meta tags:
description=full of things you ve forgotten about;

Headings (most frequently used words):

the, on, he, of, girl, detective, phone, banking, adventures, things, do, monday, this, makes, me, feel, better, great, article, biking, thanks, all, end, when, shook, it, and, rang, like, silver, we, just, finished, season, flight, conchords, renting, feministe, posts, modern, mitzvot, blogroll, recently, read, recent, comments, archives,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (99), and (70), that (58), you (43), for (30), have (28), this (23), 2008 (20), your (19), was (19), but (18), with (16), not (16), our (16), when (15), there (14), all (13), will (13), don (13), myself (13), 2007 (12), what (12), one (12), #comments (11), how (11), under (11), posted (10), julie (10), people (10), october (9), can (9), are (9), about (9), any (9), didn (9), life (8), out (8), into (8), had (8), more (8), than (8), uncategorized (8), 2006 (7), part (7), here (7), they (7), must (7), just (7), because (7), make (7), way (7), get (6), like (6), has (6), plants (6), know (6), drain (6), his (6), potted (6), something (6), comment (5), girl (5), detective (5), blog (5), august (5), phone (5), time (5), which (5), next (5), decided (5), going (5), personal (5), some (5), being (5), least (5), got (5), own (5), property (5), really (5), then (5), working (5), cat (5), home (5), last (5), never (5), much (5), trying (5), class (5), zach (5), wordpress (4), com (4), reader (4), now (4), july (4), september (4), may (4), banking (4), feminist (4), between (4), stuff (4), academia (4), posts (4), wall (4), well (4), wanted (4), even (4), take (4), apartment (4), rules (4), most (4), them (4), enough (4), day (4), writing (4), would (4), every (4), years (4), gets (4), renting (4), person (4), money (4), back (4), right (4), college (4), other (4), from (4), after (4), biking (4), amsterdam (4), site (3), website (3), name (3), december (3), adventures (3), nine (3), dollar (3), sandwiches (3), probably (3), try (3), again (3), read (3), problem (3), feministe (3), dead (3), thought (3), anti (3), street (3), off (3), over (3), think (3), looks (3), space (3), keeps (3), guest (3), found (3), change (3), unless (3), living (3), breaking (3), these (3), building (3), against (3), furniture (3), uses (3), same (3), great (3), front (3), outside (3), kind (3), better (3), see (3), days (3), hair (3), anyone (3), put (3), story (3), agent (3), felt (3), energy (3), left (3), getting (3), new (3), teaching (3), been (3), another (3), happen (3), went (3), through (3), full (3), things (3), image (3), description (3), required (2), write (2), log (2), sign (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), create (2), free (2), november (2), january (2), february (2), march (2), april (2), june (2), down (2), later (2), recently (2), media (2), acephalous (2), say (2), since (2), semitism (2), los (2), angeles (2), modern (2), mitzvot (2), start (2), social (2), jewish (2), ivory (2), ceiling (2), women (2), fun (2), deal (2), pets (2), visitors (2), allowed (2), okay (2), allow (2), managers (2), live (2), good (2), set (2), couch (2), stop (2), without (2), empty (2), around (2), house (2), owner (2), does (2), today (2), door (2), happens (2), before (2), fucking (2), signs (2), spot (2), car (2), parking (2), care (2), room (2), look (2), friend (2), ook (2), notify (2), whenever (2), seven (2), long (2), animal (2), fire (2), such (2), thing (2), kitchen (2), stopped (2), fill (2), work (2), maybe (2), won (2), moved (2), talking (2), water (2), ever (2), use (2), plumber (2), who (2), however (2), fault (2), mold (2), lifestyle (2), different (2), mind (2), hate (2), ownership (2), become (2), success (2), biggest (2), career (2), buy (2), paying (2), land (2), idea (2), night (2), emailed (2), relationship (2), everything (2), abuse (2), training (2), should (2), find (2), someone (2), else (2), education (2), essay (2), fiction (2), cold (2), very (2), boring (2), cup (2), coffee (2), coffees (2), leave (2), only (2), end (2), matter (2), playing (2), putting (2), prove (2), help (2), overcome (2), choice (2), let (2), makes (2), enjoyed (2), feels (2), need (2), investment (2), finish (2), community (2), year (2), few (2), keep (2), headed (2), gotten (2), composition (2), healthy (2), city (2), bicycle (2), america (2), biked (2), nowhere (2), feel (2), did (2), yellow (2), sticky (2), trap (2), braff (2), wearing (2), shirt (2), camera (2), callfire (2), forgotten (2), started, design, email, loading, collapse, bar, manage, subscriptions, view, report, content, privacy, already, account, archives, ashfae, honeymoon, manali, belstaff, lederjacken, athletic, greens, تور, فرانسه, recent, error, occurred, feed, uncomplicatedly, truly, outrageous, tomemos, takes, kugelmass, episodes, elegant, variation, astrodyke, deranges, senses, taking, steps, super, babymama, raising, yousef, unplugged, chylde, natalia, antonova, muslimah, watch, physicist, chola, kindle, fetch, axe, elizabitchez, daisy, air, cosmic, variance, blogging, while, plain, athena, mom, angryblackbitch, alas, slant, truth, blogroll, doikayt, doctor, etchanan, yom, kippur, activity, together, gore, vidal, expert, check, signing, page, also, posting, environmental, justice, reserve, mainly, lot, crosses, political, rants, anyway, link, love, reiterate, greatly, appreciated, thoughts, mars, rovers, mccain, related, unfortunately, inaccurate, humor, 120, post, attracted, several, mra, trolls, interesting, literature, enlightened, yet, white, rich, funnest, frontier, brief, addendum, individual, links, archive, smug, aggressive, mention, semitic, usual, wider, audience, minds, discussions, hopefully, accomplished, limited, scale, politics, palestine, israel, jewishness, feminism, easy, culture, essentially, process, human, yeah, types, strict, enforced, owners, exceptional, case, believe, smart, successful, blank, ascetic, existence, walls, tend, calls, electrician, outlets, dog, guests, begging, higher, authority, permission, spaces, sees, fit, indulges, draconian, assuredly, following, reminded, received, memos, doors, reprimanding, bikes, scooters, miscellaneous, crap, currently, collection, herbs, hanging, bougainvillea, basket, count, seriously, telling, aren, apartments, pray, tell, effects, neighbors, abundance, fucked, slippery, slope, argument, displaying, bodies, placed, unit, bike, environment, kept, sterile, lifeless, times, promptly, confiscated, incinerated, billed, incineration, nice, juicy, patch, garages, juuuust, big, hold, park, except, plenty, vehicle, towed, apes, plan, kid, point, reevaluate, application, evict, roof, control, install, security, cameras, joking, flooded, emergency, appliance, blithering, fuck, extension, cords, order, bother, come, fix, extinguisher, expired, complained, hot, heater, heating, afraid, fuss, inevitably, spray, face, clear, too, stupid, deserve, call, pay, having, using, shower, piece, touches, opulent, told, reality, quite, entering, agreement, structure, deciding, inhabit, monthly, fee, fine, abstract, fact, sole, indicator, goal, young, earn, inherently, ineffably, mortgage, rent, prez, claims, stake, country, deed, plot, concept, complicated, final, reduced, cultural, myths, mel, obsessed, two, fabulous, australian, men, finished, season, flight, conchords, terminate, morning, she, wish, luck, firm, decision, damn, her, protest, teensy, bit, readers, yes, dysfunctional, past, once, trained, sticks, guess, applying, master, program, policy, publish, shift, magazine, dream, misty, ready, teach, studies, elementary, school, reading, assigned, topic, jersey, figured, joke, couldn, concentrate, adjunct, office, classroom, kiosk, guy, commented, popular, were, rainy, usually, wet, treat, besides, material, force, textbook, sense, melancholy, pervaded, gillian, welch, song, head, warm, drink, comforting, shook, rang, silver, running, ragged, still, place, learned, little, correlation, succeeding, path, leads, themselves, meaningful, tiring, video, game, difficult, pointless, words, becomes, obvious, unlikely, eat, spend, feeling, worthless, ridiculous, fiercely, often, earliest, memories, known, deep, level, worthy, friendship, their, initial, disgust, given, employee, writer, choose, contest, always, manipulated, understood, negotiate, trust, charge, unemployable, boyfriend, rape, realizing, violent, assault, casual, entitlement, body, regardless, whether, normal, realize, ingrained, doubt, realized, parents, expensive, colleges, worth, wasted, gone, somewhere, cheaper, letter, department, chairs, saying, cutting, sections, english, spring, decide, ones, evaluations, assumption, longer, viable, option, looking, rate, professor, seeing, profile, average, score, matters, enjoy, doing, considering, credential, starting, salary, california, teachers, 000, broke, exhausted, unhappy, thinking, pursue, first, book, obviously, doesn, mean, burning, manuscript, effort, haven, written, lately, bring, sure, eventually, killing, direction, classmates, none, realistic, done, soon, hope, step, job, situation, emotionally, continue, best, students, sake, semester, investing, excel, dramatic, freshman, abyss, both, facto, instructor, awhile, support, helps, thanks, rest, recognize, slid, easily, designed, accommodate, paradise, american, cyclist, faces, impediments, inconveniences, dangers, exist, crucial, differnce, cultures, simple, narrow, gap, six, weeks, states, lightest, weight, adolescence, heaviest, tried, reignite, interest, obstacle, blocked, habit, actually, fitness, hole, sports, fitter, eating, habits, walk, european, weekend, shape, four, months, wherever, sometimes, article, oiling, tom, called, dining, window, infested, fungus, gnats, bought, traps, exactly, sound, sheets, paper, prop, pot, bugs, mistake, leaves, landed, thigh, matted, covered, goop, checked, box, said, glue, could, removed, vegetable, oil, monday, tempted, remind, possible, suck, lemon, awww, sorry, scrolled, those, pictures, anxiously, awaiting, conversation, hollywood, favorite, heartthrob, sweetie, pie, wasn, bet, disappointed, huh, pick, walks, small, terrier, busy, sidewalk, soho, sunglasses, holding, soda, scene, sitting, faded, tee, laughs, handsome, dark, haired, man, thirties, stands, green, background, reads, mtv, movie, awards, dressed, collared, jeans, smiles, sunday, connected, campaign, organizers, online, system, connects, voters, power, intertron, hook, cellphone, names, dialing, appear, computer, screen,

Text of the page (random words):
was nowhere to be found and my cat s right thigh was matted and covered in goop i checked the trap box and it said that the glue could be removed with vegetable oil have fun oiling the cat tom called as i headed for the kitchen oh i did reader i did october 11 2008 this makes me feel better posted by julie under uncategorized 3 comments on acephalous so much for my career in academia october 8 2008 great article on biking posted by julie under uncategorized leave a comment i left amsterdam fitter than i d been in seven years i didn t change my eating habits much there and i didn t walk all around a different european city every weekend i was in shape because for four months wherever i went in amsterdam i biked sometimes i biked when i had nowhere to go i felt great i thought i d found a healthy new habit i actually enjoyed i d take biking back with me to america to fill the fitness hole in my life left when i stopped playing sports but that didn t happen in six weeks in the states i went from my lightest weight since adolescence to the heaviest of my life whenever i tried to reignite my interest in biking some new obstacle blocked my way what i didn t recognize was that i slid so easily into a biking lifestyle in amsterdam because the city is designed to accommodate it it s a bicycle paradise the american cyclist faces impediments inconveniences and dangers that don t exist over there to my mind there is one crucial differnce between the bicycle cultures of america and amsterdam and i have one simple way to narrow the gap the rest of the essay is here october 5 2008 thanks all posted by julie under uncategorized 3 comments your support really helps i ve decided i need to step back from the job situation emotionally i ll continue to do my best for the students sake and i ll finish out this semester at least but i can t keep investing so much of myself in trying to excel at it not to be dramatic but freshman composition is an abyss you look into it and it looks into you you can t be both a healthy person and a part time de facto full time community college composition instructor you can try for awhile but it won t last so i m done soon i hope october 4 2008 the end posted by julie under uncategorized 7 comments after thinking about it for a few days i ve decided not to pursue another agent for my first book i just don t have the energy obviously this doesn t mean i m burning the manuscript but i really don t see myself putting more effort into it after this i haven t written any fiction lately and i can t bring myself to care i m sure i ll go back to it eventually but i m not going to keep killing myself trying to get other people to read it there are signs that you re headed in the right direction my classmates have all gotten at least one i ve gotten none i have to be realistic i got a letter from one of my department chairs saying that they re cutting 30 sections of english next spring and that they ll decide which ones after they finish in class evaluations right now i m working on the assumption that after december community college teaching will no longer be a viable option looking at rate my professor and seeing that i had a profile and that my average score was 1 8 didn t help matters i enjoy teaching i thought i was doing okay i ve been considering getting a k 12 credential but the starting salary for california teachers is 33 000 a year i can t do this again i can t put myself through another year or more of training and then find myself broke and exhausted and unhappy i realized recently that all my working life i ve had this idea that i need to prove that the investment my parents put into my education i went to what has become one of the most expensive colleges in the us was worth it but that s not just going to happen i am a wasted investment i should have gone somewhere cheaper my earliest memories are of not being wanted all my life i ve known on a very deep level that i m not wanted that i have to prove myself worthy of friendship that i have to help people overcome their initial disgust of me that given a choice between me and another person as a friend as an employee as a writer anyone would choose the other person no contest i ve always let myself be manipulated by people i ve never understood how to negotiate how to trust myself how to take charge this is part of what makes me so unemployable in college i let my boyfriend rape me without even realizing that i had a choice in the matter no i m not talking about violent assault just a casual entitlement to my body regardless of whether i wanted or enjoyed it abuse feels normal and it s only later when people comment on it that i realize that i didn t have to allow something to happen i have never felt like i m of use to people it s something that s so ingrained in me that i doubt i ll ever overcome it i ve been running myself ragged for years and i m still in the same place i was right out of college the only thing i ve learned is that there s little correlation between trying and succeeding every path i go down leads to a dead end and that s the way it s going to be no matter what i try to do other people know how to make themselves into something meaningful but i don t being here gets so tiring when i m playing a video game or writing a story and it gets so difficult and pointless that i m putting in more energy than i m getting out of it in other words when it becomes obvious that success is unlikely i just stop and do something else but what do i do here when i have to make money when i have to eat i spend every day feeling worthless and ridiculous i have to make money i hate myself so fiercely and so often september 29 2008 when he shook it and he rang like silver posted by julie under personal writing leave a comment in my dream last night it was a cold misty day and i was getting ready to teach my class it was a social studies class or something very elementary school and i was trying to do the reading i d assigned that day s topic was new jersey and i figured i d make a joke about how boring the class would be but i couldn t concentrate in the adjunct office so i decided to get a cup of coffee and go work in my classroom when i got to the coffee kiosk the guy working it commented on how popular coffees were on rainy days i didn t usually buy coffees because i didn t have any money but it was so wet and cold out that i decided to treat myself besides i was teaching a class on material so boring i had to force myself to read the textbook a sense of melancholy pervaded everything and i had a gillian welch song in my head the warm drink was comforting last night i emailed my agent to terminate our relationship and this morning she emailed me back to wish me luck with everything i was firm in my decision but damn it would have felt good for her to protest a teensy bit for long time readers yes this is the same agent i ve had the dysfunctional relationship with for the past 3 years once you re trained to take abuse that training sticks with you for life i guess i should find someone else i don t know i m applying to at least one master s program in education policy i have an essay in make shift magazine i don t have much energy left for trying to publish fiction i don t know if i m going to do this again august 21 2008 we just finished season 1 of flight of the conchords posted by julie under uncategorized 10 comments i will probably change my name to mel because i am now obsessed with these two fabulous australian men august 8 2008 renting posted by julie under uncategorized 6 comments you know i don t mind renting in the abstract i hate the fact that property ownership has become the sole indicator of success that your biggest goal as a young person with a career is to earn enough money to buy a house as if there s something inherently and ineffably better about paying a mortgage than paying rent our prez claims that you don t even really have a stake in our country unless your name is on the deed to a plot of land the concept of ownership is much more complicated than i have the final say in what happens to this space and the idea that it can be reduced to that is one of our biggest cultural myths so renting entering into an agreement with the owner of a structure deciding that you ll inhabit it for a monthly fee that s fine the reality of renting however is quite a different story here s what our property managers told us when we moved in 1 there s a mold problem in this building so you must never put any furniture against the wall if any piece of furniture touches any wall you will get mold and it will be your fault for living that kind of opulent lifestyle 2 if any hair ever gets in the drain you must never use drain o because it will inevitably spray a plumber in the face anyone who uses drain o to clear a drain is too stupid to deserve an apartment if any hair gets in the drain you must call a plumber however we will not pay for it because it is your fault for having hair and using our shower 3 unless the apartment is flooded or on fire there is no such thing as an emergency has every appliance in your kitchen stopped working well then you blithering fuck get extension cords fill out a work order and don t bother us maybe we ll come fix it maybe we won t by the way our fire extinguisher expired years before we moved in but we got such a talking to when we complained about the hot water heater not heating water that we re afraid to make a fuss 4 pets are you joking what kind of animal would live with an animal 5 you must notify us in writing whenever you have visitors for more than seven days you must notify us in writing if you plan to have a kid at which point we will reevaluate your application and probably evict you as long as you re under our roof we control your life don t make us install security cameras 6 see that nice juicy patch of empty space next to the garages that spot juuuust big enough to hold your guest s car when there s no parking on the street there s never parking on the street that spot is not for you no one may park there except us because this is our property we don t care if there s plenty of room for more than one vehicle look we just towed your friend s car how do you like that you fucking apes ook ook 7 no personal property may be placed outside your unit at any time do you own a bike we d better not see it next to your front door the outside environment must be kept sterile and lifeless at all times any signs of life will be promptly confiscated and incinerated you will be billed for the incineration i was reminded of that last one just today when we all received memos on our doors reprimanding us for breaking the rules with our bikes and scooters and miscellaneous crap here s my problem i currently have a collection of potted herbs and a hanging bougainvillea basket next to our front door does that count are they seriously telling me that potted fucking plants aren t allowed outside our apartments what pray tell will be the effects of potted plants which it so happens our neighbors have in abundance is it some kind of fucked up slippery slope argument if we have potted plants then before you know it people will be displaying dead bodies what s great about all the draconian rules is that the owner of this building most assuredly does at least most of the following in his own home 1 keeps the furniture against the walls as people tend to do 2 uses drain o 3 calls an electrician the same day his outlets stop working 4 has a cat or dog 5 has guests in his home without begging a higher authority for permission 6 uses the empty spaces around his house as he sees fit 7 indulges in potted plants and yeah okay i know that most of these types of rules are strict to allow for people breaking them but they re being enforced these owners and property managers and i really don t think this is an exceptional case really believe that if you re not smart or successful enough to own your own building then you must live a blank ascetic existence you are not good enough to set your couch against your wall plants and pets and visitors are part of our culture but unless you own you re not allowed to take part in it living in an apartment being human in an apartment is essentially a process of breaking rules and i have it easy july 17 2008 feministe posts posted by julie under feminism feministe guest posts jewishness palestine israel personal politics 3 comments well that was fun had to deal with more smug and aggressive not to mention anti semitic comments than usual but at least i got to write for a wider audience i wanted to change some minds and start some discussions hopefully i accomplished that even if on a limited scale all of my guest posts can be found in my archive here are the individual links the ivory ceiling how academia keeps women out part 1 the ivory ceiling how academia keeps women out part 2 a brief addendum to my academia posts space the funnest frontier my thoughts on the mars rovers and wall e this is rich some mccain related and unfortunately inaccurate humor this is what anti semitism looks like or how to get 120 comments on your blog post on being jewish and white literature not enlightened yet which attracted several mra trolls interesting i ve also decided that i m going to start posting all of my social media environmental justice stuff over at modern mitzvot and reserve this site for my personal stuff feminist stuff will mainly go there i think but a lot of my personal stuff crosses over into feminist and political rants anyway link love is i reiterate greatly appreciated next page modern mitzvot signing off j street los angeles check it out y all since when is gore vidal an expert on anti semitism all together now say it with me a yom kippur activity a thought va etchanan part 1 between you and your doctor this to me is doikayt blogroll a slant truth acephalous alas a blog angryblackbitch athena s mom blogging while feminist plain s feminist cosmic variance daisy s dead air elizabitchez feministe fetch me my axe kindle la chola life as a physicist muslimah media watch natalia antonova problem chylde raising yousef unplugged super babymama taking steps that which deranges the senses the astrodyke the elegant variation the kugelmass episodes the time it takes to blog tomemos truly outrageous uncomplicatedly recently read an error has occurred the feed is probably down try again later recent comments تور فرانسه on nine dollar sandwiches athletic greens on nine dollar sandwiches belstaff lederjacken on nine dollar sandwiches honeymoon in manali on phone banking adventures ashfae on phone banking adventures archives october 2008 september 2008 august 2008 july 2008 june 2008 may 2008 april 2008 march 2008 february 2008 january 2008 december 2007 november 2007 october 2007 september 2007 august 2007 july 2007 june 2007 may 2007 april 2007 march 2007 february 2007 january 2007 december 2006 november 200...