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Text of the page (random words):
this card is about all of my positive feelings from last month were from this understanding of what i had to let go what i wanted to get right with myself and trying to bring myself into alignment with the universe the swords as a suit can be cold because they are the suit of logic and with clarity there is a sense of loss too because once you see the truth you can t un see it and that can be hard i go back and forth thinking that it s silly to be so affected by change in a k pop group because i am aware of how insignificant it sounds in the face of many other personal and larger issues but at the same time when everything else is overwhelming and hard it s no small thing to suddenly lose what gave you comfort and i lost a lot of safe spaces recently k pop fandom community and even my general beliefs in systems and people continue reading tarot check in jan mar 2026 april 17 2026 leave a comment oops how is it already halfway through april remember when i said in january i was going to try a monthly check in based on my monthly tarot card for the year i blinked and it was spring to be fair very soon after my january post i hopped on a plane with my family and went on my first international trip since 2019 right before covid if you ve been following along on my instagram accounts you ll know the destination was egypt it was truly a bucket list experience that took me through january and straight into the first week of february i won t go into detail about the trip now but it was definitely nice to get away being more offline and less involved in the day to day dramas of fandom gave me a better perspective on a lot of things i didn t get much rest though because our days started so early and were packed with activities that said let s get into the check in january my january 2026 card was a continuation of my overall theme of 2025 card which was the 5 of swords this card represents pyrrhic victory basically conflict that results in hollow victory no one really wins so generally it s a bit of a negative card or one that suggests the best course of action may be to cut your losses and retreat read more tarot check in jan mar 2026 in my last post i mentioned it felt accurate to how my 2025 went and now with january 2026 behind me that lingering 50 50 feeling makes sense a lot happened in that first month i reacquainted myself with old hobbies like doing hollywood la things and museum visits and we had a beautiful enhypen comeback and bts tour ticketing on the flip side i was also faced with lingering relationship uncertainties and trying to figure out if those were worth spending my time on then i flew to egypt much like 2025 january was a month of highs yay we re going to see bts travel and lows people i liked definitely revealed parts of themselves that i m not sure i liked february the magician the card of manifestation and personal power as the magician you have all you need inside of you coming back from egypt i felt refreshed and like i was getting back to the alice of 2016 that i d romanticized in january i had experienced the world again and regained a bit of my wonder for the magnificent parts of humanity in a world constantly telling me that ai is inevitable to progress and art it was reassuring to see color images inside a tomb in the desert hand carved and painted by a person 3000 years ago so that the dead could find their way in the afterlife i realized again in many ways across distance and time we are all worried about the same things at the end of the day i also had a renewed sense of if something is for me it will come to me hard to explain where this confidence came from but i really did feel as the lunar new year approached that this would be my year i ve been saying i m tired of my slump era the very last day of the month we went to the demon slayer restaurant pop up and in that dark and trippy infinity castle space being so nerdy with my friends i just felt like yeah i m back baby everything i want is coming to me march 3 of cups i think of her as the friendship card the party card it s about community joy friendship and celebration when i d originally pulled this card for my year spread it made sense to me because march brings the spring and bts long awaited comeback it felt like renewal and like it would be a month of celebration with my bias and loki s birthdays too little did i know this month would quickly become a test of all those things the card represents that i would have to find my people and my joy again i m not even sure there was much celebration after march 10 but there was new clarity about my relationships to both fandom and people on march 10 we received the sudden announcement that heeseung would be leaving enhypen something that really was so unfathomable for the fandom and even people who casually know the group the circumstances and everything that has transpired since have left many of us skeptical about what happened and deeply without closure enhypen has been one of the k pop groups i and my close friends have been invested in since 2020 2021 they brought us years of happiness and our friendship grew with them we ve been there since the very start of their career through those lows and finally the high high of 2025 and so this fundamentally shocking change has left us reeling i won t go into too much of it here since i actually made a whole youtube video about my heeseung crashout but suffice to say it put a dark cloud over everything else in march and was a hard reality check about the nature of my relationships to all of my k pop groups and even to people i ve met through these fandoms then the bts comeback happened and with so many people i m exposed to so personally invested with this return reactions and emotions were bound to run high the fact that the album was not universally well received brought out sides of the fandom and even people i know in real life that were honestly kind of hurtful even if they didn t mean it personally so again in this space that usually gives me so much joy and comfort i was grappling with the fact that some relationships i thought were deeper than a mutual interest were maybe actually not march was a 3 of cups gauntlet and a lot of those relationships came out worse for the wear i found myself turning to my older interests and retreating inwards in my heartbreak and disillusionment i read so much tarot which seems fitting since i d started my casual practice 10 years ago in 2016 at the end of the month i received what i can only describe as a clear sign from the universe about at least one thing i d been holding on to since last year something quite literally came apart and it felt like a reminder that some things just fall away and its not all my responsibility to hold it together it was permission to let go and stop feeling guilty for protecting my peace april and that brings us to this current month april i will save the card reveal and reflection for after this month is over so far though it is a fairly accurate projection of my feelings these past few weeks i hope it becomes even more so with this generational aries stellium and new moon this weekend i am still so sad and disappointed by the things i experienced in march but at least now i know and i m feeling stronger and clearer as we go i asked at the end of my resolution post are you living or just performing one thing i feel for sure at the end of 3 months of 2026 i m not performing contentedness any more and that s a win 1 tarot deck used is the golden botticelli tarot this was a deck i picked up after having my first tarot reading as it was the deck the psychic used and i thought it was so beautiful it was my first deck though not my favorite it felt fitting to use her again 10 years after i started reading for myself 2 bts album is just okay to me but in march it seemed like even that luke warm opinion would get you flamed or at the least accused of being a fake fan the release of the hidden track come over is the main saving grace for me personally especially after a month of being gaslit by the fandom over my own opinion and experiences new year resolutions january 23 2026 1 comment perhaps as you get older you just realize that january 1st isn t some magical day that will change everything but as the year ends i can t help but think of the year before and about change arbitrary or not it is still a marker of time and as 2025 ended i felt a sense of motivation coming back to me to take stock of things in my life and see if i wanted to change them maybe it s because this is the last year of my 30s honestly a time that always felt far away maybe it s because the greater world feels more precarious than ever and in a state of constant crises the only thing you can control is yourself maybe it s because the pandemic really took something out of us but i m sick of my slump era view this post on instagram the current social media trend of romanticizing 2016 had me looking back at that objectively horrible year and realizing that for me personally it was a kind of a good one until after the election besides being 10 years younger i realized it was because i was as they say living my best life i was deeply and loudly engaged with the things i loved doing irl things with friends getting enough sleep traveling and creating and generally enriching myself in a way that felt less like dopamine addiction and more like nourishment i guess having a bit of hope does that for you continue reading 2026 reflecting on monuments january 12 2026 january 12 2026 2 comments i might be back in my blogger era as this is the 3rd post i ve drafted since the last week of december into the new year this was not meant to be my first post of 2026 but i am letting myself be flexible and follow where my thoughts take me done is better than perfect after all this is depressingly my first post of 2026 because a scant 7 days into the new year ice murdered renee nicole good in broad daylight in front of witnesses and cameras as she was trying to leave the area there is so much outrage because she was a u s citizen and a white woman all of which are the least important things about her but those are things that people thought would matter in a situation like this it doesn t because we are deeper in this sh tshow of a country than we were before and fascism comes for us all collaborators included she isn t even the first person ice has killed this year 12 days and she sadly won t be the last the government is currently calling her murder something else telling people that what they can see with their eyes is not true and using all of this to escalate state sanctioned violence it s orwellian it s dystopian and with the rise of ai and the decline in any kind of literacy i fear their lies will only become more effective but that s also why it is so important to push back on that narrative to call out lies every time to name the evil bearing witness defending our minds against propaganda with education and critical thinking and speaking truth is the least we can do but it is also the foundation of doing what s right recently i saw an exhibit put on by moca in collaboration with the non profit the brick called monuments which reflects on the removal of confederate monuments in the wake of the blm movement and puts it in historical context it is a deeply powerful exhibit of history and art in dialogue and is especially relevant to what we are living through today all the unresolved issues of this country s founding through the post civil war era has lead to this seeing the removed and toppled monuments alongside contemporary works of art really brought into focus two things for me history is recent history isn t necessarily written by the winners continue reading entering my vlogger era june 19 2025 leave a comment the written word is my favorite medium that should be fairly obvious as i identify as a writer and i ve had so many blogs over the years i know this one has a fine layer of dust on it but i do a fair bit of mini blogging in the captions on my instagram i can t help it i love words that s why it is as surprising to me as it might be for you that i might be entering my vlogger era in earnest i have toyed around with video as a format over the years but i ll be real it s not my favorite medium however after getting a better grip on reels thanks to some collaborations last year i am trying my hand at it again in earnest besides who knows how much time any of us have left to live the lives we are currently living given the increasingly scary times we re in i like to think of myself as a storyteller and in some ways video does provide for some of the fastest as in i don t have to write it out and you don t have to read it all and more real versions of those tales so if you see more reels on my instagram pages than before this is why that and i am putting my youtube channel to good use in that i have a youtube channel now it s not as updated as my grams but i m making longer form vlogs now too see you there under the same name girl on the roam here s my latest vlog to entice you to like and subscribe support me venmo alicefc paypal link paypal me girlontheroam posts navigation older posts alice literallyalice scribbler of thoughts plots and sometimes stories bookworm geek girl penniless poet ravenclaw alexander hamilton is my weird history crush view full profile keep in touch search search for enjoy this blog support follow girl on the roam on wordpress com follow via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow explore no instagram images were found recently tarot check in april 2026 mourning tarot check in jan mar 2026 new year resolutions 2026 reflecting on monuments entering my vlogger era tags 30 before 30 30 before 35 blog series booknerd coastal desert flashback friday geekchic geek travel goals history nerd in my bag 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