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Text of the page (random words):
ew window email share on x opens in new window x like loading leave a comment february 25 2015 womb this morning hums blue and pink white waves wash me out like pastel steam and we breathe in the soft smog and nibble on beach town paint chips let s sink into the sand like driftwood monoliths and soften our rough edges a din erupts from the stucco jungles behind us but if you don t look then they re not really there the ocean murmurs like a womb i ll rub salt water in my eyes and eat handfuls of sand and wash it down and let my tongue prune like rubber against my squeeking gums i ll fall asleep and let the sun burn me and when i wake up i ll rub sand in my hair it s getting louder i ll jump into the ocean and hold my breath and let the waves tumble me like a dirty la laundromat i ll walk barefoot on melted ice cream sidewalks and take deep breaths under the pier with my eyes opened wide i ll wash up on the shore and laze in hot tidal pools and play with sea urchins and dead jellyfish i ll cut my feet on blue coral and let the blood sink in pools i ll let anemones sting my shins tires screech like hot footed elephants a sea gull is pecking at my toes the car is hot let s go home share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading 15 comments february 3 2015 breathe or seethe s antithesis lives that flutter like butterflies in spring let s cling to the trees if light from the stars could show us a path then maybe this place wouldn t seem so bad and maybe the things that were left undone would vibrate in silence like a cold winter s sun but things left unsaid and things left undone still beat in our hearts like an old drummer s drum lives that shudder like butterflies in dreams let s sing to the breeze let s pluck at the strings share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading 9 comments january 29 2015 the fringe out of the corners i hear cigarettes crackling under moonlight shadows firewood crackling on top of salt deserts sparrows crackling under foot in the wake i feel glass splintering deep warmth and washing machine thoughts catatonic on the tip of my tongue i can taste ugly words desperation and stagnant air sticking to the roof of my mouth in the forest i smell wolfish intention blood and pine in the margins i see black and white sighs glittering after thoughts geometric auras the fringe a white desert illuminated by starlight reflection rocks are scattered here and there soaking up light there s music in the background but it s hard to tell where it comes from a man and a woman lie flat on their back staring at the same blue and white constellation trumpets they face each other speak but their words are muffled man how did it happen so fast we can t go back now but then where will we go woman i can t hear you what is it you re saying you re scared this is what you wanted but where will we go the trumpets grow in volume they look at each other and as if they can hear each others thoughts they lay back down flat until the trumpets fade away with the starlight darkness share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading 10 comments january 2 2015 spires the moon stammered behind glowing clouds there s no pajamas where were going she cackled and the night cackled back if only for our sakes death rattles paranoia burning stomachs nausea a head rush we stepped into the night and hid under archways praying for rain you stole a glance on the sly and when i looked at you all i saw was gray eyed desperation and the simultaneous exhale of one thousand sighs meant for god alone at night in a sweat i swam against the cold rushing air and closed the window and contemplated spires for hours until the neutered sun surfaced behind purple mountains we re underwater isn t it time to come up for air you look at me like you don t understand and i ll pull your hair but you won t move when i come back down you ll be limp and i ll breathe into your broken nose in vain we re ready for bed our make up is in the drain we ve washed it off our faces why don t you recognize us it s because we ve lost our color wallowing drunk in side ways glutted streets and fucking in the alleys on my knees crying and praying to big silicon gods and bleached blonde hair there s nothing here but aftermath and the shaky baby footprints of genesis we bow our heads and regard the soiled flowers of the gutters with city night flickers of sobriety if you liked this buy me a cup of coffee share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading leave a comment december 12 2014 40 s and chocolate bars 40 s and chocolate bars and butterfly wings and whispers so soft you can feel them trickle like marmalade and hot water down your spine and cold nights that dripped in big fat spaced out rain drops and tangled our hair while we shouted at strangers out of the window of a moving car it hurts to walk in the mornings we laughed and fed pizza crusts to pigeons only because we thought they had finally made it home but what about the doves and about you and what about i and what about the millions of things we say said did and the things we forget the feeling comes in waves my toes are always wet but i ll never get in i remember dreams that i can t forget you re always there in rain and in a look and what about snow and lilies and white sun light and sun burnt angels we scrambled over broken planks and choked on saw dust i am pink a king of pigeons i cough and you cough back share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading 5 comments september 5 2014 je est un autre share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading leave a comment april 29 2014 the flood big sur california i at the greatest meetings of land and water at the confluence of dreams in the bosom of cultures in the seams in the cracks of time in the dry desert in the alcoves of your heart in the gray of god suburbia is kicking and screaming and wants to go home after one last family picture ii drunken prophets cardboard signs valor ruined men purple violence croaks dirty beards glassy eyes i saw them scaring pedestrians with used needles on their way to the movies iii the last great walrus who ever lay bloated and sick on the shores of big sur where hast thou gone with thy deliriums thou drunken hemorrhage you came to me pox faced in a dream and we listened to waves and camera shutters believe me boys believe me leave me aye aye aye iv a hot crimson sun sets behind crystalline geysers a snake rubs its ribs against dry branches thunder crumples black leopards cringe in unison storm clouds follow the sun i feel the first trickles of the flood as streams of water glide over my bare feet if you liked this buy me a cup of coffee share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x like loading 34 comments april 29 2014 delilah something was nipping at our heels the night was sticky black and it dripped in big fat spaced out rain drops and tangled our hair so all we could do was laugh in the back seat with our heads out the windows as somebody drove us to the next chapter while we looked for the stars we howled and people howled back we were both alone and had another larger man between us we felt each other through the filler and i knew you were my reason for jumping into this stranger s limousine chris ball he claimed he could get us into the cosmos your blue hair matched the neon desert lights your slender arms were speckled with crooked lines of tattoo poetry and on your forearm was a swallow your skin was a high strung canvas stretched across a skinny frame you played with your lip ring while you told me about how you worked the black jack tables at one of the casinos you told me you knew chris ball you said you were friends you asked me where i was from and i asked you back and you said here and i didn t understand chris offered us pills and we took two each after a while my nose began to itch but i felt better i looked over at you sunken into a black leather armchair letting your head move with the little bumps in the road call me chris he handed me a card from the front seat with his name on it and some official sounding title he said he was a club rep i didn t really care but he could be funny sometimes even if he was only faking it i was glad i left jack and mary and hoped i wouldn t have to see them back at the hotel she said she hated names because they never did anyone justice and i agreed and we decided not to ask each other s names but i felt like i knew her name and it was delilah i never knew anyone named delilah i wonder if she gave me a name i think it s better that way we pulled up to the front of the casino and poured out of the stuffy car we followed chris ball as he led the way to the club on the second floor we went straight to the front a bouncer put a hand on his chest and stopped him chris ball said something and he came back with another bouncer and he was let in and we followed the bouncers stopped me ball and i made eye contact he kept going deeper into the club with delilah trailing behind and i stood there for a second before turning around thinking i d get some free drinks out of sitting at a black jack table i always met people at black jack tables and if i left at the right time i could more or less come out even with a few more drinks in me i lingered outside the front for what felt like fifteen seconds delilah came back and grabbed my hand it was cold all i wanted was to go to her art decked studio apartment and listen to her inflection free voice mixing with indie records she pulled me towards the entrance hey joe she said to the bouncer smiling hey ashley is he with you what an ugly name ashley i acted like i didn t hear it and after dancing with her for a little while it went back to delilah she was water in my hands after we danced we went back to chris table i ordered a drink and paid the waitress delilah was on the couch next to chris ball with her head slung back like in the limousine she was tired and breathing hard i took sips from my drink and ignored the dancers behind me chris ball would get up occasionally or shake hands with someone or pull a girl closer or order more drinks i stayed in my chair and took long sips from my drink pretending not to watch her chest heaving up and down we sat like that for a while i ordered a few more drinks and listened for them down inside me we all got up and careened our way towards the entrance we got back in the car and made our way to the front of the hotel through a whirring sea of faces and glittering purple chandeliers we got back in chris limousine followed by another guy and a few of the girls that were around our table at the club i was tired the girls were anxious so was delilah finally chris opened a cabinet next to the mini fridge and began parsing out blow they circled the tiny limousine table like prudent well mannered jackals we had gone up and down the strip twice already it was nice everyone was too focused to talk so i looked out the window and counted all the fat mexican girls with three foot margaritas and listened to the music i wish it was mozart everything would have been a lot less ugly if we had been listening to mozart and just like that the group was ready for another club we were headed to ozone which was the club to go to on this particular night at this particular hour i was tired i had another drink but that made things worse i lit a cigarette and chris told me to put it out i laughed and threw it out the window we all got out of the limousine i lit another cigarette while everyone headed in i didn t really care that they would go without me i was ready to walk off the alcohol and head back to my hotel head up the elevator sneak into the room get into bed and hope i wouldn t have to stay awake until the spinning stopped i was positive jack and mary would be asleep after a night of drunken fights delilah came back and had a cigarette with me she had her arms crossed and shoulders hunched as if she was cold the wind was blowing her hair into her eyes she closed them while she took a drag the ash blew up into her hair we were drunk leaning on a wall next to a casino entrance watching people just like us pour in and out of limousines from the 80 s and 90 s the thousand yellow light bulbs that hung over us left her features shadowless i kept eyeing the taxis but avoided inviting myself over to her house finally without saying anything she grabbed my arm and walked to a cab and got in i followed she spouted out an address i don t remember much of the ride over to her house i remember her hands being cold i paid and we got out in front of a small desert house on the outskirts of the suburbs she opened the door and asked me to wait outside after a while a mexican woman came out and smiled at me and then left in a pale dodge neon maybe five minutes later delilah was back and led me to her room i bumped into what felt like a stroller she turned the light on in her room and we sat on the bed she put on the same shit we listened to in chris ball s limousine there was a half empty jewelry armoire with a film of white powder on the top the room was empty there was a box tv connected to a wal mart dvd player across from her queen box mattress bed there were a few movies on top of the tv the expendables 2 fast 2 furious seasons upon seasons of grey s anatomy so delilah whaddayou like to read she gave me a look like i was being sarcastic who s delilah oh fuck that s right it s ashley sorry bad joke i laughed it off her skin was red and patched as she took off her shirt and exposed her back she had more swallows on her back she was facing the armoire and asked if i wanted some i hesitated but then got up and stood next to her she went first and i copied her it burned like i expected but then i felt sick i sat down for a little bit and then got up to go to the bathroom i asked her where it was she said something i m not sure if she was mumbling or if i just wasn t paying attention i opened the door to her living room and then opened the next door i saw it was dark i fumbled for a switch it flickered on and i realized i was in a kids room a beautiful little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes sat up in her bed mommy fuck i closed the door and turned off the light i went to the bathroom and threw up from the blow i rinsed my...