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granny reports my opinions based on my life experiences primary menu skip to content home my books granny reports my opinions based on my life experiences post navigation older posts grieving and heavy thoughts posted on may 21 2025 by grannyk 5 comments i m not trying to be a gloomy person but some of my thoughts have been heavy lately in particular i have been grieving so much for the loss of most of my family i have lost all of my grandparents my father my mother a brother a son my husband and more recently my lovely sister i know it s part of life but it s still very hard recently i was thinking about how strange it is after they are gone at first the pain is too raw to think for too long about it after a while i find i can talk about them and allow myself to process it all it s what happens to me months after the loss that is disturbing and strange to me i get a strange feeling that i can t believe my memories did that person really exist or did i imagine them i don t even know how to explain so it makes sense it just seems so unbelievable that this person had a full life including many possessions they loved hobbies they loved and people they loved they had a huge personality and held such an important place in my heart they had a life they worked hard i spoke to them laughed and cried with them texted with them they were always there and then in an instant they are gone all of those things meant nothing in the end what was it for is there any real meaning to us all of the hard work and possessions are meaningless in the end i get to a place where it seems that person was not real and it was all in my imagination it s just too unbelievable that their existence is wiped out and the world goes on as if their passing means nothing i will try to post something light hearted next time i just wanted to express my heavy thoughts in hopes to release some of the pain i feel right now posted in mental health my stories tagged grief life loss love mental health living with purpose posted on may 12 2025 by grannyk 3 comments what does this mean i think it means to be true to your core values and to work towards goals that are important to you it can make life more meaningful and enjoyable i think that is what happiness is don t wait for a purpose to magically appear but live each day driven by your purpose what i experienced as i aged is that i felt more and more useless do i even have a purpose or is it too late for me am i useful or am i just taking up space my back problems and arthritis are making it harder and harder to do physical work and for the first time i feel weak and vulnerable i fight with a deep depression that is very hard to vanquish i now have panic attacks and i am unable to go anyplace alone not even short walks two months ago i started on anxiety medication for the first time in my 67 years of dealing with ocd and depression it helps a little my mind has stopped racing to point i can sleep again at least what i am realizing is that this is not uncommon especially in older people our purpose for life diminishes at least in our view but here is the truth of it that thought is really only a thought if you give in to it and make it a reality then it s on you create and visualize a purpose for yourself and work towards it every one of us has value create spread wisdom be kind be helpful to your neighbors live each day in your purpose posted in mental health my stories tagged aging growing older inspiration life mental health post navigation older posts my ramblings my ramblings select category ask grannyk 1 cheer peppers 4 fiction 2 health 11 humor 21 life 7 mental health 29 my stories 159 nanopoblano 3 post a day 26 follow blog via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow join 1 016 other subscribers my facebook page my facebook page blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed granny reports join 1 016 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy granny reports subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email name website design a site like this with wordpress com get started