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Text of the page (random words):
grapes 2 0 skip to main skip to sidebar grapes 2 0 a little red blog ecce uvae saturday 17 july 2010 probability if an infinite number of youtube commenters watched an infinite number of videos would one of them eventually post something intelligent sunday 4 july 2010 ssc hayley i ve mentioned before that my first love was hayley mills and in a way i m still carrying a torch for her 40 years on i looked for a photo from that time to illustrate this rather weak ssc but there were none i would dare to publish people might get entirely the wrong idea just because i m fixated at a pre adolescent stage of psycho sexual attraction doesn t mean i m a pervert officer she s ten years older than me when i fancied her she was well over the age of consent besides nothing ever happened i m not giving up hope though wednesday 23 june 2010 nurture i ve been reading the story of a boy who grew up an only child in a household where his parents ignored him and were indifferent to his concerns the main emotion they seemed to express was irritation at the way he impinged on their lives the boy had no friends at school he was considered a massive under achiever despite being of high intelligence and quick wit his main interactions apart from with teachers were with a bully who beat him mercilessly and with a girl towards whom he expressed himself in the only way he could with hostility aggression and anti social behaviour typical behaviour in fact for an abused child but there was no evidence he was ever actively abused instead he was ignored he did what any introspective isolated child would do he invented an imaginary friend his imaginative life became a substitute for the real world thus exacerbating his isolation in his daydreams he s a spaceman or a dinosaur both of whom live in a world without other humans his imaginary friend is a wild animal not a person what chance does such a child have what sort of adult do you suppose this child would grow up into perhaps the answer lies here click to biggify tuesday 22 june 2010 never shall affection die leave me from daros films on vimeo dear when i am from thee gone gone are all my joys at once i loved thee and thee alone in whose love i joyed once and although your sight i leave sight wherein my joys do lie till that death do sense bereave never shall affection die monday 21 june 2010 and the rain runs but before going on with such explorations a return to someone i ve written about before here ilse weber a moravian jew musician writer of songs and plays for children she was sent to terezín or theresienstadt and took it upon herself there to play with and for the children she had two of her own tommy was with her in the ghetto but his older brother hanus had been sent to sweden and was living there in safety the song und der regen rinnt is about hanus far away across the high mountains and the deep sea where he is spared the sight of sorrow and misery and never need walk in the stony alleyways which perhaps refers to some local feature of terezín associated with the transports because their paths were not to come together again willi her husband was selected to be transported to auschwitz ilse elected to go along with him with tommy on arrival willi was put to work and ilse and tommy were gassed willi survived the war as of course did hanus note how sehnsucht returns and here it definitely does have an object une der regen rinnt und der regen rinnt und der regen rinnt ich denk im dunklen an dich mein kind hoch sind die berge und tief ist das meer mein hertz ist müd und sehnsuchtschweer une der regen rinnt und der regen rinnt warom bist du zo fern mein kind une der regen rinnt und der regen rinnt gott selbst hat uns getrennt mein kind du sollst nicht leid und elend sehn sollst nicht auf steinigen gassen gehn une der regen rinnt und der regen rinnt hast du mich nicht vergessen kind and the rain runs and the rain runs and the rain runs in the dark i think of you my child high are the mountains and deep is the sea my heart is weary and heavy with yearning and the rain runs and the rain runs why are you so far away my child and the rain runs and the rain runs god himself has parted us my child you are not meant to see sorrow and misery you are not meant to walk in stony alleyways and the rain runs and the rain runs have you not forgotten me my child you can listen here to the song sung by anne sofie von otter whose remarkable story is told at the grapes 2 0 link above that recording together with the words and translations in this post come from the cd terezín theresienstadt also featuring christian gerhaher and daniel hope sehnsucht i ve been considering the mental states of nostalgia saudade and sehnsucht all of which seem to be local versions of various aspects of melancholy sehnsucht is the title of a poem by goethe set to music by schubert which our choir was planning to perform next weekend which planted the seed in my mind the poem goes like this nur wer die sehnsucht kennt weiß was ich leide allein und abgetrennt von aller freude seh ich ans firmament nach jener seite ach der mich liebt und kennt ist in der weite es schwindelt mir es brennt mein eingeweide nur wer die sehnsucht kennt weiß was ich leide in english only one who knows this longing understands what i suffer alone and separated from all joy i look to the vast horizon on every side oh he who loves and knows me is far away i feel dizzy and it burns my insides only one who knows this longing understands what i suffer goethe s idea that nobody else could know what he s going through is central to the idea of sehnsucht the feeling itself is not unlike nostalgia associated with yearning for anything in particular unless it s a time before the sehnsucht came on it s an idiopathic condition in that respect germans even seem to be convinced that only germans suffer from sehnsucht since they re the only ones who have a word for it that sounds to me like a version of the old canard about eskimos and their snow vocabulary and about as convincing what s wrong with the word yearning that s an emotion that doesn t require an object as any teenager knows melancholy itself in the sense in which we now use it is also similar to that free floating form of yearning so also is the portuguese saudade which i ll look at later there is also a setting of the goethe poem by tchaikovsky and a piece for piano by robert schumann here s a performance of the schubert setting saturday 19 june 2010 nostalgia apparently swiss mercenaries in the 17th and 18th centuries used to miss their homeland so much they often succumbed to a form of homesickness or nostalgia which could lead to desertion disability and even death to help prevent this happening they were forbidden from singing songs from home known as kuhreihen which although they were simple melodies played by cow herding swiss were so melancholic as to bring the condition on the wikipedia article on nostalgia has a hilarious sentence cases resulting in death were known and soldiers were sometimes successfully treated by being discharged and sent home one of the few cases in those days where medicine hit the nail on the head i suspect tuesday 15 june 2010 joker this week it was revealed that afghanistan is sitting on such a huge pile of mineral wealth it could become the saudi arabia of lithium an element expected to play a major role in the development of electric cars god certainly is a joker you have to admit first he makes saudi arabia into the saudi arabia of petroleum then he turns afghanistan into the saudi arabia of lithium the one consolation is that there is competition in an article in the new yorker back in march lawrence wright wrote about bolivia one of south america s poorest countries which is sitting on half of the world s known reserves of lithium incidentally a similar amount to afghanistan which in march was unknown reserves and what were the people of bolivia starting to call their country according to wright the saudi arabia of lithium that s correct see the phrase used in this abstract here full version only available to subscribers monday 14 june 2010 heartache the union of belgian optimists held their first ever congress last week in brussels one of the speakers was the cardiologist to the king professor pedro brugada who spoke about optimism as an antidote to stress and all that that entails it s difficult to remain optimistic if you re surrounded by people who see things in black he said that s why i find it important to support movements like this which put optimism into society and offer a counterweight to the overwhelming melancholy it may not occur to him that overwhelming melancholy is the only really sane response to the world it clearly doesn t occur to him that for a melancholic the presence of an optimist is the very last thing likely to bring relief on the other hand he is a doctor of the heart he surely must know what he s talking about sunday 13 june 2010 conspiracy two flavours scents i can t abide are cloves and lavender the new toothpaste crest has the distinct flavour of cloves which is odd as that taste is associated with toothache the shower gel meanwhile has a nasty acrid piercing top note of lavender my bathroom hates me update it turns out that the active ingredient in clove essential oil is eugenol and that harsh top note in the lavender fragrance is probably camphor and both are hepatotoxic which means they re bad for the liver so that boys and girls is most likely where my dislike for those two compounds derives from isn t that interesting sunday 23 may 2010 ouch one of the hottest flames i ve ever seen and i was a flame warrior for quite a few years not a surprising opinion but it s all in the expression but when kenny g decided that it was appropriate for him to defile the music of the man who is probably the greatest jazz musician that has ever lived louis armstrong by spewing his lame ass jive pseudo bluesy out of tune noodling wimped out fucked up playing all over one of the great louis s tracks even one of his lesser ones he did something that i would not have imagined possible he in one move through his unbelievably pretentious and calloused musical decision to embark on this most cynical of musical paths shit all over the graves of all the musicians past and present who have risked their lives by going out there on the road for years and years developing their own music inspired by the standards of grace that louis armstrong brought to every single note he played over an amazing lifetime as a musician by disrespecting louis his legacy and by default everyone who has ever tried to do something positive with improvised music and what it can be kenny g has created a new low point in modern culture something that we all should be totally embarrassed about and afraid of we ignore this let it slide at our own peril jazzoasis com pat metheny on kenny g useless actions one thing that divides man from the animals is our ability to perform useless actions in a graceful and beautiful way that s the only explanation for balanchine or van beethoven or this bloke fucking about on his bike most of your actions are useless i suspect does it even occur to you to do them gracefully wednesday 12 may 2010 bonne nuit in a hotel room too hot with foamy unsupportive pillows i dreamed you were gone off with some man who seemed to have enchanted you you were far from me and i felt an immeasurable distance between us i awoke at 4am with a feeling of melancholy that the last of something had happened without my awareness all of which is true of course except that the man in reality is not a sinister figure he s just a guy but the distance and the finality are utterly real analyse that freud if you dare thursday 6 may 2010 destiny bayliss what if the one true love of your life was an eskimo and you lived in des moines pembleton there are a lot of nice girls in des moines from homicide life on the street wednesday 5 may 2010 up in the air oh my god a hollywood movie that romanticises the sacking of thousands of american workers you don t have to be barbara ehrenreich to find that utterly repellent older posts home subscribe to posts atom followers of the grapes feeling lucky blog archive 2010 22 july 2 probability ssc hayley june 8 may 12 2009 24 october 1 july 1 june 4 may 2 april 1 march 7 february 2 january 6 2008 359 december 7 november 21 october 34 september 31 august 9 july 41 june 25 may 10 april 54 march 34 february 23 january 70 2007 706 december 38 november 67 october 112 september 95 august 94 july 40 june 108 may 134 april 13 march 5