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Text of the page (random words):
from having children we had spent years upon years and dollars upon dollars trying to bring our babies into this world never knowing when or if that would happen when ivf failed we were devastated shortly there after i received a blessing upon getting a new calling that commanded me to as the scriptures say be still though my circumstances did not change my heart did at that time i chose to stop stirring up my every emotion in frustration toward the lord s timing and rather to fall upon him as the prince of peace it was not easy and i was not perfect at it but i felt extra strength as i did my best to try to remember him and his peace i looked for other blessings and tried to look outside myself sometimes the ultimate blessing in mortality is his perfect peace and how grateful i am to know where to look for that less than two months later we were called up by a dear friend who told us she was pregnant and wanted to place her baby in our home via adoption our hearts were so full we would have never expected such a gift you can imagine how we must have felt to learn of a viable spontaneous pregnancy only seven months after that our brielle kay and evann jean were born almost exactly one year apart from each other we have now called upon our savior s peace in making difficult parenting decisions acting rationally while sleep deprived and for our friends and family who are still suffering greatly in their trials i know that there may be a situation in your life that requires peace unlike that of this world as my blessing commanded me to be still in my darkest hour i ask that you will lean upon our savior for his peace he will not let you down though it may not seem so it will work out and everything will be more than okay father loves you he does this is why he sacrificed his son can you imagine taking your truly perfect child and then letting him die and suffer a most terrible death so that the rest of your extremely imperfect children could have a way to be saved from their trouble i can not i can not imagine letting my babies be tortured even if for the greater good but he did for you for me trust in the promises trust in his goodness be saved i love my god he is so good so courageous and so kind please remember who we celebrate this christmas and always i love you and feel blessed to know you love always kamden posted by the hainsworths at 7 27 am no comments tuesday march 11 2014 a little bit of pure life one of my beautiful sisters caitlin got married on february 14 valentine s day to blake larsen in the san diego lds temple they are wonderful and happy as ever cait just has to make it through her last semester before graduation i know she ll conquer it was a joyous occasion to watch the power of the sealing distill upon them and pronounce them together for eternity nothing compares similarly nothing compares to spending time with my family watching them grow up and grow older bringing brielle into that mix warmed my heart and made it very hard to leave she deserves to know them the way i do to feel of their strength and personality to have their positive influences and love it s always hard to part but i am so grateful for the memories made auntie bop cousin atlas great grandma and teagan s soccer game award luncheon getting pampered and loved hanging out and looking cute enjoying auntie tea and ri s airbands dance group getting ears pierced eating pupusas and sitting in a grocery cart for the first time out on a walk at the end of zooma s ride uncle jaren hanging out during the start of baseball season jaren and mom going to his school mom and me dance tyler drove back to utah on his own after the wedding in order to get back to work he is so unselfish and made it through a week of solitude while we stayed in san diego soaking up the sun and everything gardner this left brielle and me to hop on a plane on our way back home the next week i was nervous to fly with her she is an amazing baby but really squirmy and energetic especially if she doesn t get her naps in i know how pleasant people can being about crying babies on a plane not to mention she developed a roar over the previous week so lively growling had replaced the sleepy whine and squeak we took a seat and she began well i had packed everything possible to help her in her journey had a bottle prepared for take off and touch down to help with her little ears and even downloaded some fun distracting apps but when you are tired you re just tired and soon the little lion came out i became emotional and about at that time a woman behind me said so sweetly i just want you to know that if you need to get up to use the restroom i d be happy to hold your baby and also don t you worry a bit about her crying she sang to my soul the lady sitting next to me responded in a similar fashion patting my shoulder and reassuring me let me know if there is anything i can do for you how are people so nice i couldn t figure out at that point if i was still crying because i was a bit overwhelmed or so moved beyond myself that complete strangers making their way to my layover in oakland ca would be so understanding and kind i held my sweet brielle and did what i could to rock her to sleep it took some major endurance she s a natural athlete already and even more praying but heavenly father heard my prayer and she eventually fell asleep for the remainder of the flight this occurrence gave me even more strength for the flight home from oakland to slc i had an empty seat next to me on the way and a sweet teenage girl that enjoyed playing with brielle we still had to fight our way to sleep again but we made it home and i was so grateful to see our daddy tyler at the airport my other half and strength i know that all you seasoned travelers out there with multiples of children may think this a little dramatic but it was something i had to overcome and get through and thanks to the spontaneous comfort of strangers it will be easier next time i will always hear their words of encouragement i was the vulnerable one in this situation and that is something that i hadn t felt in a great long time those women didn t see me a former sixth grade teacher used to managing a range of pre teen emotions they didn t see a woman who lead crowds of teenagers through the streets of south america they didn t see an athlete that fights for the win on the field they saw a vulnerable and apologetic new mother who needed a helping hand and encouraging word even now it sinks deep into my soul that my heavenly father would seat these women next to me he will never leave us comfortless what a testament of his love just a few days later we prepared for our sealing to our sweet baby brielle we were so excited and moved for the chance to make our family eternal and to seal us to those that have gone before and are yet to come what we didn t anticipate was the extent and spectrum of joy and gratitude we d feel that day when tyler and i were sealed it was magical and one of the happiest days of my life however six years of marriage and a travel log filled with ups downs twists and turns especially as we were doing all we could to get our family to grow supplies greater perspective and vision as to how the lord knows us and has the most perfect plan kelly brielle s birth mom told us even when she was pregnant that she had the goal to be able to attend brielle s temple sealing sixth months after her birth we could have never imagined the power of that promise we couldn t believe how quickly that day came but how much had happened within that time period as well the suffering birth moms go through the heartbreak and challenge with her decision to place can be haunting and troubling to say the least but she s borne that grief with our brielle in mind and even more with the savior and redeemer of our grief by her side the joy that we ve experienced as a family of three is unlike any feeling i ve ever experienced otherwise oh how i wish my gratitude could be truly expressed to all of those who have made this all possible most especially to kel we dressed in our white temple clothes and they treated tyler and me like we were a new groom and bride the workers played sweetly with brielle in the nursery as other preparations were made for the sealing and tyler and i were able to enjoy the serenity and peace of the temple together to reflect upon the numerous blessings we had been given over our time as a couple and to remember the extent of our father s and savior s love for his children we sat there thinking of brielle calling out her sweet nicknames and smiling so excited for the events of the day shortly to come we met the sealer and were impressed with his wisdom and kindness i remembered from time to time that truly our family of four were all together in the temple that day that brielle s little sister would have a front row seat to the whole experience but interesting enough i never felt inclined to say it out loud there were too many words and emotions we were attempting to take in and express with the grandeur of events of the day our sweet brielle miracle of a daughter we entered the sealing room and saw so many faces of those who had been with us step by step through infertility through marriage through life some from the time we were barely walking others sent so recently to give us hope i couldn t stop smiling the spirit in the room and the sacredness of that day was undeniable tyler and i took the next monday to write down our reflections of that event in our journals and i finally took the time to ponder upon a unique feeling impression i had at that time i remembering looking at a few of the empty chairs in the room over and over again and feeling like they were so out of place i didn t look at them once or even twice but many times throughout the course of the time in the sealing room that room was packed with people it felt so filled with love and presence i just kept seeing those empty chairs and trying to make sense of what my eyes were seeing compared to what my soul was feeling how was there room for empty chairs there are too many people here for that to even be possible i realized how thin the veil between this life and the life to come is i know others were there i did not see them but i felt them pack in next to us all witnessing this ordinance my family tyler s family kelly s family bringing all into the unity of faith not even mortality could keep us from being together some said they were sitting in the room wondering where kelly was but at the moment the sealer said brielle could be brought in the door was open and you could hear brielle s sweet happy squeal we turned to the sound and saw the most beautiful glowing radiant pair of people enter the room kelly was holding brielle they both were dressed in all white smiling ear to ear brielle s face lit right up when she saw tyler and me and we couldn t help but smile and giggle a bit right back at her how sweet to have our baby in the temple with us kelly was directed to come to and kneel next to tyler and me with brielle if you can imagine the room becoming even more reverent as kelly neared the alter bringing her first born and laying her there presenting her to us and god in his holy house there are very few of us who will ever be asked to perform such a literal act as laying our all on the alter i am so grateful that she was there with us it felt complete and so right i am thankful for her strength vision and unselfishness brielle as the rest of us will honor her forever i will keep this memory with me as an inspiration and reminder for the rest of my life am i giving my all to the lord is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid your heart does the spirit control you can only be blest and have peace and sweet rest as you yield him your body and soul would you walk with the lord in the light of his word and have peace and contentment alway you must do his sweet will to be free from all ill on the altar your all you must lay elisha hoffman is your all on the alter the sealer began the short sealing ordinance and brielle turned and smiled at tyler when his named was said and then she turned to me when my name was pronounced and as though it could be choreographed or planned she then turned all the way around to kelly with that infinite grin many said they received the impression that she knew even better than us that god s plan was being fulfilled at that alter that day matthew 18 3 and said verily i say unto you except ye be converted and become as little children ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven matthew 19 14 but jesus said suffer little children and forbid them not to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven with kelly with all the grandparents with all our friends and family eternity there is a lot more that i wrote in my journal about this day but suffice it to say it was holy i look at my sweet brielle and know that she has now been sealed not only ours but into the whole covenant family she has a long life ahead of her and many decisions that she ll have to make on her own she will have to develop her own faith in christ and testimony of his gospel even with the lovely blessing her father gave her the next day in church promising she will be a courageous example of jesus christ she is the one that must choose that path i am grateful for the decisions i ve been trusted to make in my life i have learned that his path is the most perfect and will never fail what a blessed life we lead posted by the hainsworths at 12 23 pm 1 comment tuesday february 25 2014 new baby gender this will be a very short post as i am writing it from my phone we are so pleased to announce that we will be having a baby girl this coming july of course we already know how much we love girls so this makes us so excited not to mention we have all the clothes already in the right season woot we are so grateful everyday for the miracle of our expanding family brielle will be the most wonderful older sister it will be fun to have someone so close to go through life with what a joy we will be sealed to brielle this saturday and she ll be blessed in church on sunday so many exciting and beautiful events to behold life is so good posted by the hainsworths at 5 31 pm 3 comments tuesday february 4 2014 sixth months with a baby we have been looking forward to january the start of a new year and brielle s sixth month mark of life with adoption in utah this also means we were able to go to court and officially change all documentation making her legally ours it was a very emotional day one we will never forget and we are so thankful to have had surrounded by friends and family we were each asked to say a few words surrounding our feelings for brielle before the judge easier said than done tyler expressed the long awaited feeling of being her parents having struggled through years of infertility and how lovely it has been to have her as our daughter i expre...