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in episode 4 the commentators literally end the broadcast as we see it with but where on the ice was shane hollander and where was ilya rozanov and then we get the fucking scene of all time where they end up at the same club and everything goes to hell and it s not the first time it s happened its just one big example of shane having something from his personal private life effect his performance on the ice and then it follows him directly off of the ice to the tune of all the things she said and all of us crashing out in our living rooms local sports bars etc it is so clear in the show especially during his conversations with yuna that he always made sure every decision he makes is the right one to benefit his hockey career to keep him at the top of his game and the top of the league and to never give anyone any reason to question whether or not he belongs there because not only is he dealing with the pressure of being the asian representation in the league for people to look up to he s also dealing with the casual and blatant racism in the locker rooms on the ice most likely in his personal life that we don t really see too much of he s also dealing with the pressure of maintaining a specific public professional and personal image that will make his sponsors happy and continue to bring in more opportunities for him in the future plus the pressure of being a captain that is expected to lead his team to several championships while also constantly being compared to and measured against rozanov in every single aspect of their careers it s clear that they ve always looked forward to playing against each other on the ice it s clear that they push each other to be better it s one of the biggest reasons this rivalry that got pushed on these kids before they were even drafted actually works for the league there s a reason it didn t fizzle out and die after their rookie season it s impossible to know obviously but it s very likely that even though they re both extremely talented players they may have never reached the levels they got to with championships and individual player awards without each other if they had been drafted in different years far apart or to different divisions that don t play each other often or if they hadn t crossed paths in juniors it all may have been different so even though they never asked to be the faces of this iconic legendary rivalry just by being talented and playing against each other and being themselves they kept that narrative going even if they didn t want it so when they finally get to play together for the first time on the same team on the same line we re finally seeing them on the ice in a way we ve only seen them off of the ice we see them exhale a bit they don t have to pretend to fully fucking despise each other they can still push each other to be better but instead of using it against each other they get to test their chemistry together outside of the bedroom they get to discover that their chemistry extends beyond that on onto the ice this i think is where the chemistry starts to bleed into the hockey their personal lives are now not separate from the hockey in a way it never was before shane gets to sit by the pool and watch ilya play with kids and it s not weird they get to sit next to each other on the beach and it s not the end of the world they get to celebrate scoring a goal by ilya kissing shane on the helmet because he s affectionate with his teammates and they ve never been that before and shane walks towards it he asks for ilya s room number so he can apologize for freaking out and leaving when things started to feel too real he admits that he likes him maybe a little too much and asks ilya if he d want them to be something if they could be none of that fits into his typical what is the best decision i can make for my personal and professional reputation decision making he knows what he wants and for the first time in a long time potentially since before he was a teenager he wants something that would be an indulgence it would be selfish it could potentially ruin his hockey career if anyone knew about it he doesn t know at this point if his parents or hayden or jackie would be supportive he knows they make each other better on the ice and that they always have competed their hardest no pun intended lmao against each other but it s still such a bad idea like he said to ilya during their first hookup allllll the way back in episode one and in this exact same episode the narrative is going to step in and very fucking brutally remind him of that fact he gets fucking laid out on the ice now i ve seen people interpret this a few ways some people see it as an unreliable narrator situation where he wasn t actually looking backwards he was just thinking about ilya and gets distracted i ve seen people say that it s definitely a split second he glances back and it s dragged out slowed down as much longer for dramatic effect like we see in the club scene and i think that is exactly what s happening as i said previously by letting himself figuratively and in this scene literally get distracted for once for probably not even a split second he gets the most brutal possible reminder that letting his personal private life mix with his life on the ice could have diabolical consequences we ve seen him and ilya take small steps towards admitting that what they have is something and that in their own little bubble they re letting themselves have a small taste of that and the one time he lets a tiny bit of that bleed into his hockey reality steps in to remind him and ilya and us that it could be dangerous for them literally for so many reasons and ilya having to watch it happen after dealing with his dad dying and cutting off his brother and literally having no one in his life but shane and svetlana he already knows he s in over his head with shane he knows he s in love with him and he realizes in that moment how helpless it feels to not be able to do anything about it they re in public on tv in front of the whole word he has no right to know anything about the hospital he s gong to what his condition is and one of the first things shane thinks about is asking the paramedics to tell ilya that he s okay and when ilya goes to see him in the hospital and they both have to reckon with the fact that shane and now most likely the metros are out of the playoffs and that ilya was so scared and that he wants to go to shane s cottage but he just can t let any of this get any messier and more complicated because it s bleeding into their hockey and ilya could barely hide it on the ice and shane is comfortable enough to invite him to spend summer with him that fucking moment on the ice that less than a split second that lands shane in the hospital fucking hell man i know we talk about the scott and kip moment as being the catalyst for ilya and shane and it absolutely is but that moment that sports fans get annoyed about the story needed that moment the characters needed that moment and it s executed so well and acted so well and because the writing in this show is incredible it s built up to so well and the payoff is just excellent and also the hockey podcasts and like previous hockey players or athletes or just serious hockey fans who watched that moment and said stuff like that lookback was unforgivable or you can t have that shit on the team or whatever like yeah that s also part of the point the narrative is trying to make congrats if it was ever ever found out that that is what happened that their relationship distracted shane on the ice and he got hurt oh fucking boy hockey and professional male sports in general are already not welcoming to gay athletes and we see from the reactions of certain teams and individuals in the long game exactly what that looks like this is also the narrative commenting on that because it happened on the ice in front of the world and people saw it if they knew the context holy fuck it would be so bad for their careers anyway if anyone has made it this far thanks for reading i hope this makes sense outside of my own head lmao 4 588 notes feb 1st 2026 open in app facebook tweet reddit mail embed permalink bardofavon asked um sweats nervously if i told you i had a secret second account with a fic as long as agm motherfucker meg im gonna fucking kill you meg what the fuck meg where 3 notes dec 18th 2025 open in app facebook tweet reddit mail embed permalink bardofavon stardvle asked meg meg oh my god i just caught up on like ten chapters and now im here to scream at you about it because you single handedly revived my grishaverse hyperfixation first happy chapter 69 sorry i missed the drop date second watching kaz fall deeper and deeper into this isolation that he s literally building for himself is so i mean it s awful but i can t look away what makes it worse is that he s almost self aware enough to recognize how self destructive it is and he s absolutely smart enough to realize how abusive morozova is but he is neither smart nor self aware enough to put down the goddamn shovel and it reeeeaally doesn t help that every single time he even thinks about doing so morozova does something freaky and then says have you considered digging faster 3 so he s just spiraling into this depression of his being kept company by his awful boyfriend and his also awful boyfriend s awful boyfriend poor boy is stuck in the love triangle from hell they re like dogs in a fighting ring all trying to maul each other except no matter who wins or loses or who you bet on they re all still trapped in the ring at the end of the day i d say please give him a break but i think he would try to steal my kneecaps for suggesting that reading through it all now especially after been dragged away kicking and screaming really makes you like realize how much character development derogatory kax has gone through it makes me wonder like if chapter 1 kaz had been given a look into the future what would he think what would he see he was already a freak in the earlier chapters but i don t think he thought it would ever go this far man he just wanted to steal some answers to an upcoming test and now he s here i think kaz would literally spontaneously get over his haphephobia just so that he could smack himself across the face kaz should totally like murder morozova just a little as a treat some light stabbing or something as revenge for all the other stuff he s been put through as always your writing is amazing your prose gives me life and i think you should totally publish a book so that i can buy 500 copies and get them all signed 333 how you re managing to churn out this much content and have every word your write create actual literal fireworks is beyond me heheh hurt him more 3 bardofavon answered yeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhh my evil plan to keep the grishaverse fandom alive through the power of horrible toxic fic continues can i get a hell yeah happy chapter 69 i am immature and somehow 200k words into this fic with no sign of stopping screaming and crying i guess turned into one of those people with the super long fics fully against my will possessed by the spirits of horrible fictional men kaz s character development is well definitely far more of a devolution than an evolution we can say that much he s been gaining some level of awareness that s new for him about his emotions and ability to talk about his feelings and his acknowledgment of his own desires and confronting the fact that maybe he has some complexes he needs to start working through but i think aside from that he is worse in most ways lol and he has the awareness enough to be terrified of that outcome while also still kind of thinking himself untouchable enough to keep walking into it this relationship and everything it entails is very much an addiction for him at this point one that he s hiding from everyone in his life because he knows they would want him to quit but that he doesn t want to acknowledge as such because he still likes doing it too much even if he is aware that it s ultimately harmful i think there is also a very large part of him that s aware he s gone too far and he cannot untangle himself from this easily will not be let go and the fear of wanting to get out and not being able to is enough to keep him convincing himself to keep going forward like as long as he keeps digging he can convince himself it s all in his control the second he decides he doesn t want to do this anymore he has to accept that it s already too late and he s in too deep which would mean facing certain uncomfortable realities about his smallness in the world and his vulnerabilities that would break him to accept at his current place but yeah chapter 1 kaz meeting chapter 69 kaz would super be like what the fuck is happening to you man stand up you don t want to be comfortable you want to be free but that s because chapter 1 kaz has never experienced being comfortable chapter 69 kaz would find some way to blame it all on chapter 1 kaz anyway they re both messes i plead the fifth about whether or not kaz will stab him a quadrillion times again like other fic spoiler alert he did in agm but yeah maybe it wouldn t be such a bad idea anyway very glad to have you back and 3 3 3 3 3 you are so sweet and your praise makes me very soft truthfully although i have some original works in my back pocket i don t have time to work on those bc i have too much investment in my fics at the moment lmao i can t do outside work on my current visa anyway and the reality of publishing a chapter and having the instant gratification of ppl takling to me about it is too strong a pull compared to the isolation of solo writing original works ahaha but maybe someday you really never know and you have my word i will actually be hurting him more very shortly as in the chapter i m posting today will see him hurt even more peace and love on planet earth hametsukaishi what fic is this about it cannot be agm and you don t have any other fic that has fucking 60 chapters meg what is this about im going insane 9 notes dec 13th 2025 open in app facebook tweet reddit mail embed permalink kyouka supremacy kyouka supremacy chapter 121 5 as told by people s reactions from the activity page lives were changed 1 955 notes mar 12th 2025 open in app facebook tweet reddit mail embed permalink xinakwans sayruq alt our task from this point forward is to continue supporting palestinians keep boosting fundraisers and donate as much as you can share news from the gaza strip now is not the time to disengage do not look away el shab hussein this blog s initial purpose was to serve as an archive for the genocidal actions of the occupation i d been documenting it for years on my blog with little to no active followers to pay attention only when it was too late did people pay attention do not turn away or the same will happen while your backs are turned 6 041 notes jan 21st 2025 open 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