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Text of the page (random words):
if later in tournament one of the regulars withdraws citing a prior hitherto unmentioned commitment or a sudden early morning migraine so there are plenty of positives to take from the game and apparently they serve a really good tea at wellington where the next game is onwards they re wearing trousers key rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison february 14 2015 at 2 48 pm posted in cricket tagged with 2015 world cup australia cricket cricket world cup england eoin morgan james taylor new zealand steve finn wellington selling cricket to america leave a comment just before christmas i was approached by us sports network espn to provide them some copy for some adverts promoting their coverage of the cricket world cup yes i know i was surprised as you are now but delighted also i took this very seriously a bit like a method actor i got into the character of an american ad man i smoked like a chimney developed a chronic alcohol dependency and repeatedly cheated on my wife it s alright she doesn t read this in actuality i was brought in as a genuine cricket geek remarkably it seems that news of my status as a sport saddo has travelled across the atlantic to ensure that any copy would seem authentic to the surprisingly large community of cricket loons stateside i supplied them with such gems as delivery and toss this ad forms part of the result of our collaboration in my head this campaign is the flint that creates the spark that lights the fire of cricket in america my head is a strange place in my head the espn coverage of the world cup reaches non cricket fans and something clicks before long games of street cricket will be played from the projects of new york through to huge collegiate matches in front of fanatical support in the future when americans think of the super bowl they won t think of football they ll think of a really good delivery and when they talk of the death of baseball they ll all agree that the beginning of the end was the 2015 cricket world cup and the espn coverage and ultimately my toss rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison february 7 2015 at 2 28 pm posted in cricket tagged with 2015 cricket world cup advertising copywriting cricket cricket world cup espn usa writing i am in the nightwatchman magazine leave a comment i wrote a piece for the nightwatchman magazine which is wisden s quarterly magazine amazingly they published it i say this without self deprecation as it sits alongside many erudite essays and articles submitted by people who write about cricket for a living including the current editor of wisden and a former test batsman my qualifications are that i really like cricket and i can read and write the test cricketer is ed smith you can read his piece here scroll on a bit further and you can read the opening paragraph from my piece to read the rest of the piece you ll need to buy the magazine it s quite dear so i don t expect any of you to do that so i can tell you now that that single paragraph is probably weakest of all the paragraphs in the piece from that paragraph on it ascends to the level of pulitzer prize winning journalism tackling big meaty themes such as the contents of my pencil case and startled cats but you ll just have to take my word for it rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison january 2 2015 at 9 57 pm posted in cricket tagged with cricket ed smith nightwatchman watching england is like getting drenched in a rainstorm leave a comment the england one day team is like an old friend you don t see them for a while but when you do you pick up the same old routine like no time has past at all the routine in this case involves continual disappointment perhaps the friend analogy isn t appropriate better a distant cousin a cousin that you find quite irritating becoming annoyed while watching england fail is like becoming annoyed about getting wet when it rains it s inevitable so the annoyance is pointless you might read this and think it s even more pointless committing this feeling to written words you may be right but it s always been an exercise in tempting fate trying to fox fate with my wily reverse psychology hoping that i d look back across these posts after the world cup and think it was hilarious that i got it so wrong that my pessimism was so unfounded after we d charged to victory well i ve looked back at my posts and it s depressing for many reasons always the bleak realism before the world cup the affirmation of that defeatism and then the hope that the team can start rebuilding over the next four years for the next event but the dream that a team can restructure and re invent itself over that period doesn t take into account that some of that team will suffer catastrophic loss of form or injure themselves or retire or get sacked for being a bit of a dick rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison november 29 2014 at 4 30 pm posted in cricket tagged with alastair cook cricket england sri lanka world cup 2015 phil neville shows a bit more excitement with one comment so phil neville responded to criticism of his monotonous debut in the co commentator s chair with the following the feedback is that i need to show a bit more excitement so i think you ll see that more on thursday night in the highlights show the promise of seeing a bit more excitement is certainly enticing but what on earth is it going to sound like christ alive did you see that the ball went near the goal fuck me what a kick must have gone at least 40 yards soaring like an eagle straight out of play whoarrrrrrrrrgggghrrrrraaahh it s a throw in offside i love this world cup i love football i love life i love you guy mowbray it s a yellow card yellow like the sun and the daffodils and the margarine word is that the bbc have recruited legendary dutch commentator jack van gelder responsible for the demented outburst below to coach neville and the pair are currently having a one on one excitement training session by shouting at seagulls on ipanema beach ray lewington ray lewington ray lewington rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison june 17 2014 at 9 30 pm posted in cricket i got my head caught in the doors of a train with one comment this is not me first an apology this isn t a thought about sport as the masthead promises i wrote a letter to east coast trains to complain about an incident in which my head was caught in the doors i could probably finish it there and it would be the funniest thing i ve ever written they have recently sent me a standard class return ticket to anywhere in their network by way of compensation which means i can go to inverness and back again for free if i want to so they deserve the miniscule bit of good publicity i m going to give them the letter was conceived as one of those complaint letters that you sometimes see circulated around the internet i thought it might be looked on more favourably at east coast trains perhaps even responded to in kind in fact i received a very long and humourless answer back some may argue that they did respond in kind dear sir or madam i am writing to complain about an incident which occurred while disembarking one of the 0835 from king s cross at grantham station on monday 10 march around 50 of my colleagues and i were attending a ceremony to celebrate long service at a country hotel not far from grantham and had travelled up from kings cross that morning the doors opened as usual once the train had pulled to a halt in the station i was already stood in the area by the toilets waiting to step off the train i allowed a lady to disembark first and then followed her off the train to my surprise the doors closed as i was leaving the train and struck me on the neck gladly i was not decapitated by this as it may have put a dampener on my day out if i d have turned up at the hotel without a head then i would not have been able to enjoy the tea and shortbread that was served on arrival disregarding the shortbread and thinking more about long term strategy my head and body have worked well together as team previously and it certainly would have been a shame not to be able to continue with this arrangement it may also have had a negative impact on my marriage if i d have returned home without a head my head is one of the reasons my wife fell in love with me god knows it wasn t my body i also think that my employers may have looked upon it dimly had i shown up to work without a head it would negatively affect my capacity to fulfil my duties properly and also look a bit scruffy i m being facetious i can t pretend that the impact of the door even hurt but it was a shock and i have a strong virile neck if i was a little frail old lady with a little frail old neck then the ramifications could have been more serious happily for me the doors opened again and i was able to step down onto the platform i was one of the lucky ones most of my colleagues were sat in a different carriage and had diligently gathered their luggage and queued to leave the train as it was pulling into the station unfortunately some at the back of queue were unable to leave before the doors closed again this time permanently 14 ladies made an unscheduled trip to doncaster i ve heard that doncaster is lovely in late winter but when there is tea and shortbread promised on arrival at a hotel near grantham then it s not the ideal destination happily they were able to turn around and return to grantham in time for lunch rice new potatoes a selection of cold cuts again i m being facetious but again there could have more serious implications if a family had been disembarking and the children were allowed to get off first the doors may have closed behind them temporarily orphaning them and sending their parents to doncaster the children would have been left to fend for themselves on the mean streets of grantham with no one to look after them but a little old lady with no head sorry facetious again can t help it when we remonstrated with the station guard he explained that there was nothing he could do apart from not blow his whistle perhaps he offered nothing by way of apology perhaps he had a shiny new whistle which he couldn t wait to blow or maybe he simply couldn t conceive that 50 people actually wanted to get off the train to visit grantham he said that all passengers should be ready to disembark before the doors open which is fine until 30 people want to step off the same carriage they re not circus performers they can t all get off at once one of the doncaster crew spoke to the train attendant who explained that stations are fined if they keep the train in the station too long if this is true then i would suggest that the guidelines are eased slightly to allow for common sense to be applied and to allow 50 people who just want to get off the train and eat a little bit of shortbread i look forward to hearing your thoughts kind regards nick rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison june 1 2014 at 8 49 pm posted in blogging trolling with the punches with 2 comments we ve had a comment in from joe bloggs in response to an admittedly banal post i wrote about two years regarding the amount of traffic the blog was receiving from visitors typing in hazel irvine tits into search engines joe writes shut the fuck up you knob so what we want to see a womens tits women dont show them on purpose to winde men up no apart from breast feeding thats what their there for what women dont look at mens arses on snooker or football or linford christies willie go back to your nunnery or monastery and bible bash a bit more it s great to hear from you joe it s actually quite thrilling to be trolled in this way properly trolled with swearing and poor grammar and everything not like my mum trolls me i think of it as a badge of honour it is my belief that joe if that is his real name happened accidentally upon the post in the genuine search for images of hazel irvine s naked breasts in the hot flush of shame at being rumbled he may not have detected the trace of sarcasm in my words unable to spot the faux puritanism what joe also doesn t realise is that as the master of this blog i have full editorial approval over comments sent in and can tweak them as i see fit so i ve edited joe s comment changing the spelling and punctuation and all of the words and the entire meaning it now reads hiya great post funny thing is that i m a big fan of hazel irvine myself in fact i ve cut a picture of her face out of a copy of the radio times and glued it into a doll i stole from my niece i call her wee hazel irvine she s my best friend we go on adventures together in my mum s garden and sometimes even on the pavement outside her house we like to punch trees and chase next door s cat mum shouts at wee hazel and me because she says that i should get a job but there s plenty of time for that i m only 33 it s probably highly unethical to change his comment in this way and i ve probably violated his freedom of speech but he can t complain too much because i ve showcased his original comment by framing it within an entire post plus the grammar is much better now i m off to find a nun so we can abhor some shit together rate this share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading written by harrisharrison may 4 2014 at 11 53 am posted in cricket tagged with hazel irvine trolling older entries top posts the blog is dead long live the blog roast beef a word to the england selectors having watched one third of last night s game england h...