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poken preaching teaching or directly from his word it s up to choice if we heed the promptings of the holy spirit jeremiah 17 9 10 the heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked who really knows how bad it is but i the lord search all hearts and examine secret motives i give all people their due rewards according to what their actions deserve nlt god bless us all in 2018 life is a vapor featured heartwhispers pam 2 comments it s been almost 2 years since i ve posted on this blog life has taken me down a different road for about three years my mother went to her heavenly home 3 years ago this coming july 1 2017 my dad came to live with us and was not happy leaving missouri but he didn t have a choice he could not take care of himself and his dementia was getting worse he was almost totally blind and couldn t hear but his stubbornness came with him he was 24 7 care for us he did accept going to a pace program for a few hours a day 3 4 days a week this gave bud my husband some relief from caregiving he completely took over the physical care of my dad without complaining i work m f 8 45a 5 00p to keep the home fires burning god has a way of working things out before you even anticipate them bud retired from erlanger hospital in april of 2009 not by choice they had a big lay off and since he was only there for 10 years and paid more for his experience he was included in the lay off while we struggled financially little did we know that this would come as an advantage to us a few years later this made it possible for bud to be here for my dad otherwise he would have to go into a nursing home we did not want that and neither did he we had some rough times with his dementia but we survived them he had a heart attack that wasn t diagnosed for several hours at first everyone thought it was his gallbladder and were getting ready to schedule gallbladder surgery then his labs came back heart attack he stayed 4 days in the hospital and then was moved to hospice care one of us was with him 24 hours a day he was never left alone everyone was so kind to us at both places i have no complaints dad left this world sunday february 5 2017 1 15am he would have been 92 on the 25th of july this year it still seems unreal that both my parents are gone they were always there i still look in the rearview mirror expecting to see dad s face i still have their phone number on my phone it took me a long time before i didn t think about calling my mom i really didn t have time to grieve my mother s death while taking care of dad now i grieve for both grief strikes at the strangest times i know this is a season of life but one i don t think we re ever ready for when we re young and raising our own children with our own commitments and responsibilities we don t even let it enter our minds that life is really just a vapor missing them may 27 2023 heartwhispers pam leave a comment musings and family september 1 2018 september 1 2018 heartwhispers pam 1 comment i think we had the coldest march and april in many years here in eastern tennessee spring came and then disappeared the last week the weather warmed to the 80 s without the humidity all the cars are yellow with pollen and allergies are at their height of the season fortunately it doesn t seem to bother me we wait patiently for the rain to wash our cars and bathe our trees and shrubs clean my back yard looks like a wilderness it s not really a backyard from our back patio and about 10 feet beyond it becomes a wilderness haven for all the critters including snakes that occasionally make their appearance known to us early mornings i can hear the raccoons banging the garbage can lid up and down as they forage to satisfy their hunger and the owls hooting to each other and have even managed to get a photo of the owls on the top of the old oak tree before we it had cut down i didn t have my good camera then so it is not a clear photo but you can see they re owls we do have to keep an eye on our furry babies we even have a new frog family this year we think there are four of them they ve su re grown since i took the first photos since bud had his car accident we ve not done much to the yard this year and it s looking pretty sad hopefully we will be able to do some yard work before long i ve not planted my flower pots yet either so the front porch doesn t have its usual happy it s spring look a few weeks later july 21 2018 whew it s been a few weeks since i started writing this post time has a way of rapidly disappearing from the glorious glow of the morning light to the blaze of colors of the peaceful setting sun have you noticed the days are getting just a tad bit shorter that means autumn is just around the corner early autumn is one of my favorite times of the year the summer haze is gone and the sky is endless blue the colors of nature are bright and distinct i don t know about yours but in my world this summer is slipping away we had our middle son jason with us for a couple weeks he put together several purchases i had made and left in their boxes one being a cubicle storage cabinet with cloth basket inserts i put this at the end of my bed works perfect another was a shoe rack that i thought would be hard to assemble but wasn t at all he washed all the windows inside and out cleaned the roof and gutters out they don t want dad on the roof anymore and mowed the yard if i d had my study ready he would have put my desk together that i ve had in boxes in the garage forever he repaired the roof the last time he was here he s painted our living room hallway and entry and tore out the old carpet and put down flooring completely painted my kitchen cabinets inside and out and put molding on the top of the cabinets after removing the soffit painted the garage doors and the front and back doors tim put in the new storm door and movement light over the garage doors as well as lights on the front steps marc has cleaned the gutters and roof off when he s had the time we enjoy every day the things our sons have done for us we are blessed and spoiled by our sons we had a visit recently with our grandson tim brian to us his beautiful wife christina and our gorgeous great granddaughters chloe and ella we got to hold our first great grandson harlan for the first time he s precious sadly i was so busy taking photos i never took one with me and the girls or harlan it was brief but so good to see them they stopped on their way to florida then marc our youngest son wife shenyle and our grandson gavin stopped on their way to florida and dropped off the furry grands bear and aries we had a time on their way back home they stopped and picked them up and we got to see our handsome grandsons micah and gavin they are getting so tall and older wow our kids are all growing up what does that mean we re doing august 2018 our granddaughter kailee brought terri her mom our dil and her mom in love dawn along with her sis in love kaylee by for an overnight visit yup there s two kailee kaylee s in the family now plus she has a cousin named kaylee not sure if i have the correct spelling we had a great time found out gramps is good but a little slow on one of the games we played we are both showing our age papa fixed breakfast before they left saturday morning for all of us by request our visits seem to be few and far between but all the more pleasant and appreciated when we do wow it s now september 1 2018 and fall is just around the bend love my family pam just a whisper august 27 2015 june 15 2019 heartwhispers pam leave a comment today was my 5 th cancer treatment while lying quietly in the dimly lit room i usually listen to soothing instrumentals from eli kathy hernandez nate lawrence david nevue or the inspirational singing of bobbie shoemake priscilla mcgruder karen harding and others but today i lay quietly waiting for the treatment to be over i have an hour or more with no interruptions and then it came just a whisper without any competition for my attention i heard the whisper of his voice trust me my will is in process assurance of his presence is always sweet and comforting as i lay there a thought came to me just as quietly but urgently he assured me i had done nothing to my knowledge that promoted this cancer i had never done any of the main things that would cause this type of cancer i ve never smoked never drugs never dyed my hair etc i do know that our food is not pure and the additives chemicals and food coloring is in most of our food i do attempt to not eat processed food and eat whole foods organic if possible and finances allow i can eat less amounts of pure food and be more content than stuffing myself with all the processed foods the markets have to offer this is something we ve probably heard taught often on our journey but this is my version i was reminded of the pattern for physical and spiritual growth from our very birth we are cared for our needs are met and we are loved we are bathed fed and rocked hugged sung to and loved as a parent myself i remember the birth of each one of my sons as if it were yesterday and the love i felt for each one of them each one developed their own personality looks and temperament they are individuals with their own likes and dislikes dreams and goals in life i love them unconditionally they are my sons child like growth at first we are completely taken care of we are fed milk either formula or mother s milk as soon as our stomach will tolerate it we are given cereal to help strengthen us i peter 2 2 amp like newborn babies you should crave thirst for earnestly desire the pure unadulterated spiritual milk that by it you may be nurtured and grow unto completed salvation read the above verse in the kjv esv and tlb later we are spoon fed baby food that is easily digested our food is prepared for us but eventually we want to feed ourselves so we grab the spoon and at first we make messes and the food is all over us but with persistence and consistency we soon get the spoon to our mouth without losing too much on the way there we progress from the bland pureed food to food with substance food to chew on with those new teeth and growth begins hebrews 5 13 amp for everyone who continues to feed on milk is obviously inexperienced and unskilled in the doctrine of righteousness of conformity to the divine will in purpose thought and action for he is a mere infant not able to talk yet we swiftly leave the infant and toddler stages behind our curiosity of the world as seen through our eyes causes our environmental and intellectual development to rapidly begin as we grow up we learn we have a choice of what we eat our choice of food will determine our health physically and spiritually i don t know about you but occasionally i eat that tootsie roll or snicker bar and it s not good for me i am supposed to be very careful of my sugar carbohydrate intake now a slip up once in a while probably won t instantly be the death of me but long term it is devastating to my health we do that in our spiritual walk we slip up with our inconsistency of prayer fasting reading and hearing the word preached and taught the consequences of our slip up may not reflect immediately upon our spiritual health but if continued will be devastating just as too many carbs does for me hebrews 5 14 amplified bible amp 14 but solid food is for full grown men for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law when i ve had too many sweets carbs i become sluggish no energy brain doesn t function at the level it should i become easily agitated irritable anger is just on the surface ready to blow and i m just not myself i even get very tired and sleepy slumber is a big part of the effect eating the wrong food has on me has anyone else ever experienced this now be honest if we are not consistent with our prayer life bible reading studying and hearing the word taught i believe we experience the above mentioned maladies we can become sluggish lack of zeal easily irritated over the silliest things anger surfaces easily and then slumber sets in our minds and hearts are not functioning to the capacity that god has given us can we all say oh me we are not perfect but we are striving toward perfection of being christ like we are not alone on this journey when we withdraw from being fed the word we are depleting our body of the nourishment it needs to spiritually survive when we withdraw from our personal relationship with god we become a hindrance to the body we re just not ourselves and we re not open to the moving of god when we are in this particular mode we become critical and overlook our own attitude and faults and blame others or the circumstances surrounding us we avoid the mirror of our soul hebrews 6 1 3amplified bible amp 6 therefore let us go on and get past the elementary stage in the teachings and doctrine of christ the messiah advancing steadily toward the completeness and perfection that belong to spiritual maturity let us not again be laying the foundation of repentance and abandonment of dead works dead formalism and of the faith by which you turned to god 2 with teachings about purifying the laying on of hands the resurrection from the dead and eternal judgment and punishment these are all matters of which you should have been fully aware long long ago 3 if indeed god permits we will now proceed to advanced teaching when our spirits are broken our hearts contrite our minds stayed on him then god can use us work through us because we willing in spirit to do his bidding our eyes see our ears hear our hearts are malleable sensitive and filled with his spirit we are useable for his glory psalm 51 17 my sacrifice the sacrifice acceptable to god is a broken spirit a broken and a contrite heart broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent such o god you will not despise perhaps because of my age and the experiences of my life these thoughts came to mind but until the day of my going home i want to live for him birth is a wonderful beginning but growing up is a process of willingness the want too and the process of time maturity doesn t necessarily come with age we never stop growing up in god still growing up still learning blessings pam life strikes again june 6 2015 june 6 2015 heartwhispers pam 2 comments stress strain tension pressure worry heaviness that s 2015 so far oh there have been moments maybe a few hours or even a day or two that were relatively stress free but then it starts all over again i ve read on other ministers pastor s wives blogs and sites and know that personally and my household are not the only ones going through this type of attack it s not always our first inclination to place it in god s hands there are some of us who attempt to deal with a circumstance or situation first thinking we can handle it god ...