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s to hit the gym four times which is the new routine my trainer has set for me the plan was to go on tuesday wednesday friday and sunday i manged to get to the gym three out of four times which is not too bad and i m not too bothered by missing the mark interestingly i got there on saturday instead of friday which has made me rethink how i ll do this next time friday is one of my busiest days of the week with professional work and teaching at uni so it makes absolutely no sense to try scheduling a workout in there too next week i m going to try for tuesday wednesday saturday and sunday thursday and friday my two most hectic days where i have a 1 5 hour commute each way to boot will be kept sacrosanct so when i get home i can just collapse and monday will be enshrined as my writing day kept separate from every other commitment behind one of those thick velvet ropes 3 stick to my meal plan perfectly for seven days this is a big fat red text fail i already knew it would be hard not to snack while marking and i held it together relatively well until thursday when the wheels fell off and i ended up spending 18 on creating the largest custom made party mix known to mankind and eating the entire thing in two days in fact in stark contrast to my goal this week was probably the worst my diet has been for some time my preciousssss on the upside my meals were all still in line with my diet plan and i still got in all my protein shakes and egg whites and all the plain meat and vegetables i m supposed to consume it s just that my snacks got in the way especially from thursday to saturday still i live and learn not giving in to temporary setbacks and failure is how i ve gotten anything i have in life persistence is key and eventually things fall into place 4 sleep a lot yeah look i did sleep a lot and i don t really have anything exciting to say about it other than i did what i set out to do it takes some real goddamn skill to lay very still and do nothing for seven hours 5 don t burn out again i didn t burn out last week the signs are starting to mount that i m getting close to a burnout though so i need to start taking steps now to take proper care of myself 6 write a blog post bam i nailed this i think i wrote three blog posts in the space of a week one about failure one about new goals and one which was a review of louise allan s debut novel the sisters song which was remarkably successful compared to other reviews i ve done ages ago so maybe i need to do more of these 7 live damn you live i m starting to realise that holden is becoming a dull boy and that s really shitty but i hardly did any living this past week i set myself the goal of having the whole weekend to live and enjoy and the reality was i ended up marking and editing and submitting short stories off to journals for whatever reason my personality is so flawed that i find it difficult to find ways to have fun i didn t used to be like this but the more i try to juggle everything at once working several jobs volunteering writing writer admin gym the more my fun time gets squeezed out of my schedule like the last gasp of minty toothpaste from a rolled up tube i really really need to stop and take some time soon not just to rest but to actively have fun on balance despite fucking some of these goals up beyond all recognition i reckon i did okay this past week most importantly i m keen to keep trying and trying until i get it right which is i reckon the answer to most things in life onwards and upwards holden author holden sheppard posted on may 1 2018 may 1 2018 categories uncategorized tags aussie author author blogger dreams goal goals holden sheppard indie indie author inspiration motivation perseverence writer writing young adult leave a comment on he shoots he well he tried featured review the sisters song by louise allan when i was growing up my dad would mostly read biographies of prominent people actors musicians politicians public figures but every now and then he would casually pick up one of my sister s chick lit books and have a bit of a gander he was unfazed by the branding he blithely called them human interest novels i always thought this was kind of cool perhaps this is why when i was told that the sisters song by louise allan was a book about motherhood and sisters aimed primarily at women who were likely to be mothers themselves and not at young childless men like myself i wasn t overly fazed in fact i was quite interested to experiment with reading beyond the borders of my usual genres and see what this story was all about and i m bloody glad i did i was especially keen for two reasons firstly since i kept seeing stuff on social media about people bursting into tears when they were reading it which is a damn strong reaction for a book to provoke and probably the one that must engender the most pride and satisfaction in an author secondly the author louise allan is well known in perth writing circles and i have a great deal of respect for her not only is louise a fervent supporter of new and budding writers on twitter especially locals she is also one of those people who radiates an aura of kindness before making a mid life career change into becoming an author she was a doctor and i can only envy the empathy her patients must have received in those years most doctors usually just grunt at me so what s the sisters song about cough spoilers ahead cough initially set in rural tasmania in the 1920s the novel centres on the relationship between two young girls ida and nora after their beloved father passes away their mother becomes a bit of a useless mess and they are cared for primarily by their grandmother during this time and during the post grief haze the girls personalities start to shine through ida is a nurturer loves her doll and wants to have a family nora meanwhile is a talented singer and pianist with the encouragement of her grandmother she pursues a career in opera singing leading to small rifts with ida and a more profound separation from her mother as the girls reach adulthood in the late 1930s it seems the book has set everything in motion for the rest of the novel ida is married to len bushell she s preggo and finally about to start a family of her own nora s at a conservatorium in melbourne her singing having brought her wide acclaim and a ticket to a different life on the mainland and she s fallen in love with one of her tutors the seductive marco forgive me for being a dunce but i figured the rest of the novel was going to be about ida raising rosy cheeked babes in the dewy mists of tasmania planting her bulbs and scouring her pots while listening to an operatic coloratura on the gramophone and nora would wed marco in the spring continue swanning around the conservatorium in a sparkly red dress and then graduate to singing her own coloraturas on the stages of milan and vienna and new york a regular dame nellie melba well fuck me sideways this is when the novel decides to punch you right in the guts and then as you re keeling over on the bitumen with spittle dangling from your broken jaw it kicks you in the teeth for good measure everything turns to shit at the beginning adult life just as both girls seem to be on course to get everything they ve ever wanted it gets cruelly ripped away from them both ida miscarries tragically and we experience the crushing lows of that just in case the author hadn t beaten us into emotional submission already ida miscarries twice more culminating in a breathtaking scene where she essentially races through a hospital against the matron s wishes to see her baby s dead body it is horrific meanwhile nora s career is torn from her when she falls pregnant to her tutor marco only to discover he is married and she has been carrying on an illicit affair the conservatorium is shamed by her female whoreish ness and gives her the boot because in that era marco s affair and her pregnancy are entirely her fault of course and in any case premarital sex is unbecoming of an opera singer in one fell swoop nora loses the love of her life and her dream of being a singer and is left with a bitter reminder of the life she could have led in teddy her first son and alf hill the stoic miller who agrees to raise marco s son as his own this cruel irony that ida is left childless and aching for children while nora pops out three and couldn t care less is the source of the tension that drives the rest of the novel forward over several decades the flowers borne from the seeds of this mutual bitterness wreak havoc with their relationships with their husbands with their mother with the children with each other and most importantly with their own selves louise allan has woven a masterful tale here a piece of realist fiction that offers a crystal clear window into the traumas that bind and shape a family her prose is direct and clean my favourite kind of prose her taut writing is especially effective in the novel s more emotional scenes and there are many she makes more from saying less and the novel is much stronger for it the pacing is good although and i think this is my only feasible criticism of the novel i think the first act before the shit hits the fan could have been a little shorter it moved a little slower whereas parts two and three i read at a cracking pace because the pace of the action was so absorbing i absolutely loved the strength of ida s voice the gentle humour that lifted the reader through the gaps between the more painful scenes and the unexpected twists and turns this story takes as the years progress i told myself i d fold the corner of the page of the sisters song each time something powerful happened it ended up looking like this the top is the end of the book in fact what makes this story feel so realistic is that the cruel shifts of fate were not hammered in relentlessly but rather were spaced out strategically and rhythmically this is what happens in most families i think there were massive downs not just the aforementioned traumas but stuff like the girls mother eventually passing away and nora s abuse of her children their fear of her her mental illness and even what happens to ted and ultimately alf later in the novel and possibly the most heartbreaking moment in the novel ida racing down the street after the doctor breathtaking but for most family and life is not typically a purely harrowing experience and allan reflects that so well here like any family there are seasons of joy brief moments when things seem to be tolerable and perhaps optimistically on the upswing this happens for both girls whether through ida being able to care for nora s children and pretend they are her own or nora later developing a new lease on life and playing the piano for her local church again ultimately the ebbs and flows of family over a long period of time were so well drawn here and as someone with a sprawling sicilian australian family i really related to that aspect of the novel i felt like i was peering through a window into another family s actual life and there were times when i wondered if maybe ida and nora could have been real people back in the day i could certainly imagine them as real moreover the novel s undulations are relatable because sadly this is sometimes how life goes hopes and dreams can be dashed and this is one of the cruellest things about being a human being people s lives are ultimately marked by how they respond to their own devastation defeat and surrender or hope despite the pain or stoic resilience resilience being i think an underlying theme here too this actually is what i feel is the main point of the novel in a way how we deal with the damage done to us by life both ida and nora and even len and alf are wounded humans trying to continue on in spite of their own ongoing pain mental illness stalks the edges of this story only being named as such once really when nora is in hospital but it s everywhere ida suffers terribly from the grief of her miscarriages len is deeply hurt by her excursions to the country to take care of nora s kids instead of him nora s twice broken heart love and career bleeds all over her life and alf man i feel like i could write a separate essay just about the character of alf hill in some ways he is the most tragic character in the novel his moment near the end of the novel absolutely knocked the air out of my lungs he is a good man and his life is an example of what stoicism can do for men for better and for worse he was very relatable likewise i found myself relating to ted as he reached adulthood it s not often i read about another seventeen year old italian australian who is bookish and angsty and has both an attitude problem and an identity crisis i became quite fond of him which i m not sure was supposed to happen but i think i am drawn to tragic boys for some reason speaking of relating i can see why the marketing arm of allen unwin would pitch this kind of fiction to women and mothers as they would be the primary market that relates to a tale like this but i want to say here that i related to this story a lot as a young man and i suspect that gets overlooked in the entirely necessary discussion about how to position a title in the market i ll admit the specific motherhoody aspects are less relatable for a male audience for sure although the amount of times ida had to scour a pot did successfully put me off ever doing the dishes again but moreover so much in this novel from the mental health stuff to the resilience to parental disapproval and family breakdown to ted s angst is actually quite relatable for a male reader because all this stuff happens to us too even the prominent role opera music plays in this story resonated with me i don t think i know a single opera song or if calling it an opera song is even correct but as a big fan of rock music i know that my world has been torn open by guitar riffs and solos and i could relate so much to both ida and nora s relationship to music and stuff that is probably meant to be specifically relatable for a female audience can sometimes be entirely universal a scene early in the novel where grandma offers her old red gown to nora but not to ida struck a very deep chord in me not because i am sensitive to the correct handing down protocol of ancient frocks but because there is a universality in feeling what ida felt in that moment that her family parent figure did not regard her as the special one that she was not as loved as her sibling this really is louise allan s strength in writing she can take the minutiae of quotidian life and spin up a moment as poignant as an operatic crescendo the sisters song is a triumphant debut novel by a talented west aussie and tasmanian author i loved it and i recommend reading it if you are in possession of a pulse holden author holden sheppard posted on april 26 2018 categories reviews tags allen unwin australian literature australiana book book review books contemporary wome...