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the holy observer christian humor satire parody news home about the holy observer archives the holy observer is coming back from the dead dear readers after 7 years god s 1 source for christian satire news is being resurrected like us on facebook and follow us on twitter and instagram to get every update if you ve been wondering what s causing that emptiness you re feeling inside it s that tho hasn t been in your life well maybe it s because you need to get closer to god but an easier first step is following us so go now and do it abundant joy awaits lead story previous lead stories latest posts church leaders urge christians to reduce their prayer footprints experts warn of a looming shortage of supernatural resources vatican city an unprecedented summit of christian leaders convened here earlier this month to take part in a summit to address what many fear could be the greatest spiritual crisis of our time a shortage of prayer previous lead stories study small group hazing at all time high exclusive report trinity broadcasting network run by atheists hacker attacks biblegateway com switches kjv and amplified bibles shutdown season willow creek community church will close its doors for the summer analysts predict biggest christmas church shopping season ever techno tithe church implants microchips in members right hands view all latest posts congregation collects marlboro miles decorates church top 10 things overheard at sunday s church potluck youth group wants shy member back in shell worship leader sues church for thigh slapping injury outreach to midgets comes up short church sign no love for obama church leaders urge christians to reduce their prayer footprints sponsor joel osteen s blessed whitestrips study small group hazing at all time high church sign have it your way exclusive report trinity broadcasting network run by atheists hacker attacks biblegateway com switches kjv and amplified bibles top 10 summer youth group activities shutdown season willow creek community church will close its doors for the summer bible smugglers release 31 103 scripture duckies on euphrates river mar 8th 2009 3 comments youth youth group wants shy member back in shell obnoxious behavior and bad jokes make leaders and youth long for quieter days santa fe new mexico for years leaders and youth group members at new mexico church of christ took great pains to get the group s shyest member corey tait to take part in more activities and show more of his personality but these days those well intentioned folks are feeling like victims of their own success mar 8th 2009 2 comments worship worship leader sues church for thigh slapping injury oak park il worship leader eunice matthews has brought suit against oak park community church claiming that they are responsible for a thigh injury that she suffered while leading sunday morning worship the lawsuit filed in us district court last week claims that matthews gave herself a severe deep thigh bruise while slapping her mar 8th 2009 5 comments church outreach to midgets comes up short pastor john huber still has a burden for little people this in spite of the fact that his evangelistic efforts among orange county s diminutive sinners have produced no converts we ve just got to raise the bar the unflappable baptist minister said a weekend crusade for little people held last week at his santa ana church dec 17th 2007 1 comment missions bible smugglers release 31 103 scripture duckies on euphrates river basra iraq call it fowl play open doors the legendary missions network led by brother andrew recently smuggled one bible into the middle east the big deal not in traditional format print cassette tape or mp3 andrew s crew floated all 31 103 verses of the bible down the euphrates river via rubber duckies dec 17th 2007 1 comment church visitor wants less information about church st louis mo derek freeman found himself experiencing information overload on a recent first time visit to nearby chesterfield community church i was sitting in the all purpose sanctuary enjoying my chai tea latte when the woman up front invited new visitors to see someone on the welcome team if they wanted more information dec 17th 2007 11 comments heaven god to professional athletes stop pointing at me new declaration from the almighty makes gesturing to him on field a sin heaven in a press release issued earlier this month god declared that professional athletes in any sport who point or gesture in any way in his direction while on the field of play will be subject to the normal penalties for committing a sin the policy seems to have been in the works for older articles dec 17th 2007 heavenly greetings to become more blunt accurate dec 15th 2007 asian american pastor speaks only english chicago native of korean descent also knows no martial arts dec 15th 2007 writers strike hits tbn hard healing services fundraising scripts most affected jun 15th 2004 schedule change for local waitress means goodbye church crowd hello tips apr 12th 2004 darwinists strike again with t rex eating ichthus fish eating darwin fish emblem sep 12th 2003 man happier about switch to mac than conversion to christianity jul 12th 2003 millions more damned for harry potter related sins mar 9th 2009 church congregation collects marlboro miles decorates church wabash in bake sales car washes bingo churches for decades have relied on tried and true methods of fundraising when tithes and offerings left vision thick congregations in a lurch but wabash christian center has taken a unique approach to supplying ministerial needs eschewing fundraising altogether the 20 year old fellowship collects marlboro miles to outfit its church mar 7th 2009 5 comments mar 6th 2009 7 comments mar 8th 2009 top 10 top 10 things overheard at sunday s church potluck 10 if i d wanted microwaved burritos i d have gone to church at the 7 11 9 girl if i could rearrange the alphabet i d put u and i together 8 mmm you can almost smell the e coli 7 hmmm i wonder how all that angel food cake fits into pastor rob s south beach diet 6 i d like to slap the hands that prepared this meal click the title to read the rest browse categories church church signs entertainment heaven missions society sponsors sports surveys technology the media top 10 uncategorized worship youth ads sponsors browse archives march 2009 december 2008 november 2008 july 2008 june 2008 may 2008 december 2007 november 2007 december 2004 june 2004 april 2004 september 2003 july 2003 stay informed entries rss comments rss 2026 the holy observer disclaimer read this if you re freaking out right now the truth privacy log in 80 queries 0 079 seconds