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kes the countryside beautiful and rich are the memories it evokes and inevitably entwined in those memories are people the people in whose woods i walked the families whose haylofts i played in and fell out of the folks past and present who molded my life i remember mom and dad grandpa and grandma bill uncle johnny uncle burt aunt orie cousin ernie and on and on a parade of sunday school teachers youth group leaders and pastors also march past as do people from the present not a farmer myself the seasons of my life have been blessed by a rich bounty of people not crops and i am richer for them all they have been the jubilant fields and singing trees singing for joy before the lord for he comes to judge the earth give thanks to the lord for he is good his love endures forever they planted the seeds of faith in my life and watered them and watched them grow some of them too many of them for me have sung the song of harvest home some i get to see daily regardless they all continue to bless me they speak to me in the deepest parts of my soul for me god s land and god s people are intricately interwoven even those of us who rarely venture outside the city limits are tied to the earth by strong bonds and a bounty of people and this season is about giving thanks for that bounty to the gracious god who loves us more than we can imagine i came across a thanksgiving poem the other day that expresses that thought better than i am able it s by max coots and says let us give thanks for a bounty of people for children who are our second planting and though they grow like weeds and wind too soon blows them away may they forgive us our cultivation and fondly remember where their roots are let us give thanks for generous friends with hearts and smiles as bright as their blossoms for feisty friends as tart as apples for continuous friends who like scallions and cucumbers keep reminding us that we ve had them for crotchety friends as sour as rhubarb and as indestructible for handsome friends who are as gorgeous as eggplants and as elegant as a row of corn and the others as plain as potatoes and as good for you for funny friends who are as silly as brussels sprouts and as amusing as jerusalem artichokes and serious friends as complex as cauliflowers and as intricate as onions for friends as unpretentious as cabbage as subtle as summer squash as persistent as parsley as delightful as dill as endless as zucchini and who like parsnips can be counted on to see you throughout the winter for old friends nodding like sunflowers in the evening time and young friends coming on as fast as radishes for loving friends who wind around us like tendrils and hold us despite our blights wilts and witherings and finally for those friends now gone like gardens past that have been harvested and who fed us in their times that we might have life thereafter for all these we give thanks may i give thanks this holiday time for golden light good friends and god s graciousness may i open our eyes to jubilant fields and singing trees soaring clouds be they white or gray with rain winds warm or chilled by the north people who are made in god s own image let me give thanks and sing for joy before the lord give thanks to the lord for he is good his love endures forever posted by brent bill at 10 00 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels autumn beauty family farm god midwest ploughshares farm trees tuesday november 03 2020 baseless a brief book review baseless my search for secrets in the ruins of the freedom of information act by nicholson baker right off i have to confess that nicholson baker is one of my favorite writers both of fiction and non fiction i first encountered his writing when i read the astonishing human smoke the beginnings of world war ii the end of civilization the research that went into the making of that book and how he constructed it amazed me and drew me in i ve given numerous copies of it to friends traveling sprinkler is my favorite novel of his so far so when i heard baseless was going to be released i pre ordered a copy and i looked forward to its arrival i wasn t disappointed like human smoke the research here is mind blowing baker s dedication to getting to the heart of the matter and keeping it all in an order that makes an eminently readable book that is no easy task to take pages upon pages after request after request via the freedom of information act many of those pages heavily redacted but still filled with clues or hints that needed to followed and written in government intelligence and military jargon and distill them into clear clean precise prose further baker makes it both compelling and interesting one way he keeps it interesting is by interweaving bits of his daily life into the narrative organized chronologically beginning march 9 through may 18 2019 he presents a daily chronicle of his life as he writes this book i was disappointed that there was no entry for my may birth date though that personalizes this material in a way that makes the information he presents from his research both less and more horrible at the same time the title for this work comes from project baseless a project begun in the early 50s by the pentagon to develop and achieve deliverability by the us air force chemical and biological weapons as baker s research reveals this was not just an idea but a project where millions of dollars were spent on such weapons and how to deliver them on targets such as korea china the ussr and more including in central america of course the cost was more than just financial there was also a huge animal and human costs thousands if not millions of mice rats cats dogs monkeys and more were sacrificed in testing the viability of these weapons some humans may have been too as wind drift and poor delivery systems scattered spores and the like places they weren t supposed to go other humans notably the scientists and other workers on this project suffered all sorts of issues physical emotional and mental more than a handful committed suicide the horror is staggering made all the more so by my reading it during the current pandemic the power of a virus is an amazing terrifying thing and to think that my government supposedly for the people and by the people secretly developed and deployed such weapons is amazing and terrifying and the silliness of the people involved too is amazing and terrifying the list of participants is a who s who of us cold war warriors and they play this at times as if it s a game the code names and acronyms remind of my early 60s childhood games with the guys in my neighborhood or a monty python skit gone terribly wrong redsox and aerosol are relatively benign if silly but then there s bgfiend kmwaahooland dyclavier playdon and on and on it would be funny if the destruction of whole countries crops and other food sources resulting in mass civilian starvation wasn t the goal i usually read nicholson baker books fairly quickly by the end of the week they arrive i ve finished them not so with baseless the writing was beautiful and eloquent but the material was not to be rushed through i needed time to absorb the horror of what i was learning before moving on to even more horror and i admit the more read the more ashamed i was that our country participated in this projects with support from presidents of both parties it makes me wonder what else i don t know that my country has done in my name and with my money even father forgive me posted by brent bill at 10 20 am 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday october 21 2020 midwest by stephen dunn after the paintings of david ahlsted we have lived in this town have disappeared on this prairie the church always was smaller than the grain elevator though we pretended otherwise the houses were similar because few of us wanted to be different or estranged and the sky would never forgive us no matter how many times we guessed upwards in the dark the sky was the prairie s double immense kaleidoscopic cold the town was where and how we huddled against such forces and the old abandoned pickup on the edge of town was how we knew we had gone too far or had returned people now we can see them invisible in their houses or in their stores except for one man lounging on his porch they are part of the buildings they have determined every stubborn shape the size of each room the trailer home with the broken window is somebody s life one thing always is more important than another this empty street this vanishing point the good eye knows no democracy shadows follow sunlight as they should as none of us can prevent everything is conspicuous and is not posted by brent bill at 9 37 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday october 20 2020 of cats presidential language and discouragement a midwest musing the day is breaking grey and chilly some leaves are still clinging to the trees they rustle back and forth in the light wind persimmons are ripening on the branches out by the prairie hopefully we ll get some of them before the deer eat them all squirrels are busy stashing walnuts and hazelnuts and acorns i walked out onto the back deck to feed the ebony bamboo and gracie the farm cats and they greeted me with great meowings and fell to their food as if they hadn t had been fed in days as if i didn t know they d been out mousing or chipmunking or birding in the prairie and had probably feasted well still they mad me feel welcome in their catlike way which is to say like a politician who just found out he had my vote and then turned away in search of another sure enough fifteen minutes later as i climbed out of the shower and was drying off i saw gracie heading out to the prairie to resume the hunt despite all this goodness around me i m feeling a little discouraged this morning last night i did something i guess i knew i probably shouldn t have done while doing it i posted the following on facebook president trump in arizona today called a news network you dumb bastards regardless of your political leanings is this appropriate language for the president of the united states to be using in public ah the furor it provoked a political rugby scrum including justifications for such language sorry but i don t find any such justification for such language at a public rally regardless of party i remember the first time i said bastard in public and the reaction it got i was in fifth or sixth grade sitting on the floor of our dining room on eureka avenue in columbus ohio watching tv back then our television set a mammoth humming thing was in the dining room mom didn t like to have a tv in the living room and the family room hadn t been added onto the back of the house yet as i said i was sitting on the floor watching tv a dinosaur movie was on dad was sitting in his place at the dining room table reading the sports pages he looked at me and sighed i m certain he wanted to watch the sports news he d even prefer jimmy crum of whom he was less than fond than a dinosaur movie at any rate at one point in the flick one dino grabbed another by the neck and wash thrashing him and i excited by the fight yelled out kill the bastard bad move i knew my dad was fast i d seen him play shortstop second base basketball and football for years but i didn t he was that fast i found myself scooped up and this red faced old guy he would have been around 33 holding me by my shirt collar and demanding what did you say and telling my sisters to go find mom kill the bastard i whispered wondering why he was so upset where did you learn that word he asked what word bastard i honestly couldn t remember it probably was on the playground of john burroughs elementary school three blocks away i had no idea what it mean it just sounded like a cool word reminded me of dastardly which i had heard in other movies television shows and overheard adult conversations so i thought i d try it out dad then gave me a very brief and direct lesson of the etymology of that word and that if he heard me ever say it again i faced dire consequences i never wanted to face dad s dire consequences believe you me now to be fully transparent i have said that word since and some other bad words too there may be members of my family or certain friends who have a tape or memory of me blurting something out but never whilst giving a public speech teaching a class preaching a sermon or even when i rolled the john deere tractor down a hill i refrained lest the cows in the field across the road might hear me or because i was too scared to say anything when i awoke this morning and read the vitriol in response to the post i decided to delete it and i renewed my promise to myself to not post anything about that man on social media no matter how hard it is when he is so outrageous and crude and mean it discourages me to see the support his behavior gets so today to help battle my discouragement i m going to try to stay centered on the things mentioned in the first few paragraphs things that represent goodness and life that continues even in the midst of this horrid pandemic and political season and then when it warms up a bit i m going to go up to the garage attic my plan will be to organize my stash of brent bill for sale books straighten things up so i have a place to put my golf clubs and the deck furniture for the winter and the like i don t know how much i ll get done as i know i ll come across stuff that dad put up there i ll look at it and remember that good man i ll probably uncover other things that bring to mind good people who have passed and while i will mourn them i will also find joy in remembering their love and basic integrity and decency posted by brent bill at 11 10 am 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels cats midwest musing politics older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me brent bill i m a quaker who s just not very good at being a good quaker i m not always who aren t always peaceable humble kind loving truthful like someone who is a friend should be i m also an author minister retreat leader and photographer and i live in rural indiana view my complete profile holy silence life lessons from a bad quaker subscribe to posts atom posts all comments atom all comments finding god in the verbs blog archive 2021 3 may 1 collecting a sample cranky old man chronicle january 2 2020 17 november 2 october 6 september 6 may 3 2018 6 november 1 july 1 april 2 march 1 january 1 2017 35 december 22 november 1 october 1 august 1 july 1 june 2 may 1 april 2 march 3 january 1 2016 38 december 19 november 7 september 1 august 1 july 1 april 2 march 1 february 1 january 5 2015 53 december 3 november 2 october 6 september 4 august 1 july 1 june 4 may 7 april 4 march 12 february 6 january 3 2014 83 december 5 november 2 october 19 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