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Text of the page (random words):
dy should hire him accountability speaking of money being exchanged for goods and services let s talk about what your patronage is buying besides matt s awesome art frankly i probably should have done this from the very start with the first newsletter but that s why pencils have erasers so starting this month the newsletter will include a very brief report on the writing your patronage has been supporting there are at least three objective ish ways to measure this viz 1 new words in terms of raw productivity i ve pounded out roughly 7 000 words in the last month or so that translates to about 28 pages or a little less than a page a day 2 works completed soul invictus a short story to follow my novel the crown and the dragon i plan to submit it to an upcoming anthology and also to use it as the prologue to c d s sequel which i d like to write next year 3 submissions i had a plan to submit something every single working day in june or to try until every story i have in my stable was out somewhere i didn t make that goal but as dean wesley smith says i failed to success by aiming for the stars and still hitting a pretty high mark my totals 7 submissions of short stories for publication 3 form rejections 2 personal rejections and 0 acceptances not too shabby actually my typical acceptance rate is something like five percent it s a numbers game all in all i d like to be able to report greater productivity and success but considering everything we have going on right now i ll take it which is probably as good a note as any to end on so for your encouragement and support as i develop my skills thank you my friends stay thirsty jdp posted by the house of payne at 6 26 2017 11 31 00 am no comments monday may 22 2017 updates greetings imaginary readers even though you are pretend i feel you must have noticed that there has not been a lot of blogging here as of late well we ve been in kind of a busy season for the last many seasons and to be honest i m not sure that this blog is ever going to climb up to the top of my priorities list again especially given that i also have an author blog and now a patreon page up and running but since my patrons are owed a newsletter i thought i might post it here as well so welcome to the news update for the month of may what s new the first bit of news is that i have a new patreon page which i don t think i ve talked about here but if you know me you ve probably seen me yammering about it on facebook if you haven t checked it out yet do yourself a favor and head over there lots of good stuff writing art behind the scenes extras some of which is available only to patrons for example patrons who pledge two dollars a month get a new short story every month plus access to the vault of previous patreon stories but the newsletter is always going to be both free and public this means if you want to keep up with what s happening with me and my writing you don t have to be a patron you don t even have to give me your email address for a mailing list you can find it on patreon or here maybe if however you would like the newsletter to be emailed to you every month automatically just go to my patreon page click on the button that says follow at the top left of the page it s free from now on there are a few things you should expect to see in news updates like this one there will be some stuff about the patreon page for instance i ll always look back to the previous week and reveal the result of the monthly deciders vote likewise i ll look forward by announcing which story is going to be posted here the first week of next month and if there s an upcoming patronapalooza i ll also talk about that if i have a book or story coming out the newsletter will announce it and provide links to order or preorder i ll also talk about what s going on in my life whether big stuff we had a baby or small we saw a movie and i ll always throw in some pictures so are we ready great here we go deciders vote plus patronapalooza last week patrons at the decider level and up voted on what we should do for patronapalooza it s a week long special event we ll have every month with 5 mondays there were lots of good options which you may see again in july but the final vote was unanimous so next week i will give every patron access to an audio recording 1 2 hours of the first three or four chapters of a current work in progress and what is that work it s a novel tentatively titled the mundanes a sinister alien entity threatens humanity earth s mightiest heroes are our only hope and unless nikki nelson can file their taxes before the 15th there will be penalties not to exceed 25 of the total unpaid taxes biff pow doom it s a superhero book where ordinary people save the day and it s been so much fun to write man i can t wait to share this with all of you i ve already started doing some recording and it s coming out really well especially considering that i have no special recording studio etc but don t sleep on this when patronapalooza is over the audio files will shortly vanish into the mist like darkmoon island so if you re curious about what i ve been writing go pledge a dollar and listen to the first few chapters upcoming story of the month on monday june 5th a new short story will be posted over on patreon for all supporters at the reader level 2 month and up this month i ve chosen a story called lullaby which was published last year in dragon writers an anthology it s about a mommy and daddy dragon who are trying to get their hungry babies to quiet down and go to sleep i wrote it on nights when i was rocking my own noisy and rambunctious little one so it s got a lot of my heart and soul in it plus ravenous rampaging dragons raaaaarrrrr life and such this reminds me that we ve actually got a lot of change on the horizon for casa de payne and some change that s already here and pooping a baby we had a baby see how cute also last week i turned in the grades for my final semester of teaching at the university after a lifetime spent on one side of the desk or another i am leaving academia i will miss teaching in a university setting but my new career of dad writer has been awesome on the balance in my first week i ve had twice as many awesome writing days 4 as days i had to change my clothes and shower because of baby barf 2 frankly i can t believe how lucky i am to be joining the stay at home dad club see above picture this change should also give me a lot more time to write i ve got two novels in the works and if i can keep my pace up i will finish both by the end of the year hooray our final change is that we are moving to new mexico where my darling wife will be starting a new job we have loved texas and we re worry to leave it but fortunately we ll be just an hour or so across the border so any time we want our stars at night to be big and bright we ll be in easy driving distance as we prepare for a big move and lots of other big changes we re grateful to live in a time when it s so easy to keep in touch with friends and family across the world thank you all for your support and well wishing and please keep an eye out for next month s update on my patreon page the house posted by the house of payne at 5 22 2017 12 29 00 pm no comments wednesday may 10 2017 movie review world s best in laws edition as a birthday present to me my awesome in laws watched the kiddos so the queen of eternia and i could go out and see guardians of the galaxy vol 2 thank you j l following both the scientific method and my heart i have arrived at a rating of 4 5 galaxies a delightful romp full of explosions and lasers and funny lines loved it two disappointments keep this from reaching the lofty heights of the first installment first the incomparable kurt russell though wonderful in his early scenes was boring after the face heel turn not a memorable villainous moment or line just a super dumb saturday morning cartoon cliche boo second one of the great surprises of the first was that it made me care about a cgi raccoon voiced by bradley cooper this one gave him a stupid tacked on hollywood phony character arc that left me literally yawning with rage damn you gunn brothers for giving me such a gift and then taking it away from me double boo that said everybody else was just as lovably amoral as in the first one except yondu and drax were even better and i loved the new addition of the gross bug lady who i hope we will see more of in future films which will also star a surly teenage groot but not sylvester stallone who was bleah doctor smarty pants posted by the house of payne at 5 10 2017 11 49 00 am no comments saturday december 31 2016 movie reviews presidential apocalypse edition greetings imaginary readers long time no et cetera shall we so i m pretty sure adora and i only saw one movie in 2016 i think that s the lowest count since ever and who do i blame society also donald trump deep breath truuuuuummmp moving on the one movie we did see in theaters this year was a good one so let s talk about it rogue one i also gave the force awakens four stars which in retrospect feels a little generous i m not going full south park on this or anything but most of what i really loved about that movie was that i was basically watching star wars again rogue one despite the fact that it is essentially a rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead style behind the scenes story that runs parallel to the original star wars is vastly more original this is not to say that rogue one doesn t lean heavily on the source material as astute critics have pointed out ro completely depends on you having seen sw it never attempts to explain things like the force and the ending would be deeply unsatisfying if you didn t already know that this is not the end but whatever i have seen star wars so i do know that the rebels succeed in blowing up the death star oops spoilers so to me this was a wonderful companion piece that took nothing away from the original and filled in some holes even some that i never really thought about before like why isn t there a big old rebel fleet at yavin 4 when the death star shows up at the end of star wars there is definitely some of the usual hollywood baloney in that the film often makes the choice to show a big cool explosion instead of having people on either side do something smart but this is the nature of the medium movies are more explodier and less smartier than books i had a great time as did hrh best in show 5 finding good ways to use previously unused footage of red leader and gold leader from the original trilogy very cool this is the kind of recycling i can really get behind 4 warwick davis playing a little alien dude with a bfg i wanted more of this guy 3 the sarcastic killbot and the we re not jedi monks make this a tv show in the vein of kung fu or scooby doo throw in warwick davis to hell with continuity 2 darth effing vader striding down a dark and smoky corridor cutting down rebel after rebel 1 five year old in the movie theater behind me asking aloud are they dead during the final scene when our heroine and hero are nuked into radioactive vapor hilarious worst in show 5 zombie leia her lines were good but i just couldn t stop wondering if she was a cartoon or a cylon skinjob or what 4 no bothans and yes the internet did remind me that the bothans died to get the plans for the second death star not the first one and no i do not care this movie should have killed a bothan every three minutes two maybe 3 zombie tarkin shudder seriously uncannied my valley definitely knocked off a half star for this maybe a whole star 2 forrest whittaker dying for absolutely no reason at all other than he didn t want to jog down to the spaceship lame i mean i would definitely die in that scene for the same reason but i go to the movies for an escape 1 tarkin and leia so terrible i can t stress this enough anyway thanks j j abrams for a great star wars movie it was tons of fun and i look forward to handing over my money to see the next standalone star wars flick olympus mon the mothma story coming in 2018 casa de dolor posted by the house of payne at 12 31 2016 11 59 00 pm no comments saturday january 23 2016 movie reviews 2015 the year in review edition okay so it hasn t been quite a year since the last movie reviews post but i m going to go ahead and jump in anyway why because my lady is at the grocery store and the boys are asleep and i don t have anything else to do apparently ant man 1 2 soooooo fun the science is completely inconsistent and silly even for a comic book movie but i enjoyed the heck out of this flick the thomas the tank engine sequence perfectly encapsulates everything that makes this movie tick thrilling action light hearted comedy believable characters and a blithe disregard for the immutable laws of physics for the first ten minutes of the movie i wasn t sure about paul rudd he reminded me of ryan reynolds in green lantern in all the wrong ways but i ended liking his scott lang almost as much as his brian fantana or bobby newport the real scene stealer though was michael peña as luis hilarious every line he delivered was pure gold bottom line even though both the last episode of lost and the last 200 hours or so of the hobbit greatly depleted my reservoir of like for evangeline lilly i still can t wait to see ant man and the wasp the martian 1 2 not nearly as good as the book but still very good and matt damon was much better than i expected i completely believed him and liked him as an astronaut not so much jessica chastain removing her from this movie entirely would bump it up at least a half star maybe a whole star the same for the execrable two minute epilogue at the end blecch hey and michael peña again and he was great boy am i ready to see everything else that guy is in hollywood take note star wars the force awakens yeah this is pretty much a remake of the original in lots of ways but who cares it s a pastiche an homage and it comes from a place of love and fanboi squee so yay han and chewie flying the millenium falcon yay tough old grandma princess leia yay emo kylo ren yay finn and rey and bb 8 yay stormtrooper daniel craig yay star wars but just to prove i am not just enraptured to be reliving my childhood booooo pretty much all the cgi aliens especially that refugee from the hobbit heptalogy maz kanata booooo in addition to looking awful yoda she is not and booooooooo supreme leader snoke seriously that is the worst villain name in the history of the universe anyway that s all for now until next time my imaginary readers feel free to form your own opinions about movies i will correct you later if you are wrong ultimo diaz posted by the house of payne at 1 23 2016 05 49 00 pm no comments friday march 27 2015 movie reviews babysitters are expensive edition we have not seen a lot of movies lately not sure what the problem is maybe time or maybe the cost of getting a special snowflake to come watch our little perpetual moti...
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