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Text of the page (random words):
nstantly put up barriers or become distracted i forget how wonderful you are i forget how much you ve already done and become impatient help me to remember help me to hold on to you and let go of everything else i am a vine clinging to you and you are the rock in a weary land worthy is the lamb june 26 2020 june 26 2020 johanna 2 comments it s been a long time since i wrote in this blog and so much has happened in that time but reading my old posts i see that some things are still the same i still have a lot of the same struggles at times here s a poem i wrote recently i also set it to music and altered the words a little to make it a song i ll post a recording here once i get around to making one worthy is the lamb may 25 2020 there are no bounds or limits to your grace no cloud can dim the sunshine of your face that looks with love on your adopted child wearing the righteousness of the lamb of god forever the saints of god will proclaim worthy worthy o worthy is the lamb thank you saviour that your mercy found me despairing raging in my storm tossed sea you spoke into the night let there be light and brought the peace that had eluded me you set me free to praise you evermore my unfettered soul rejoices in the lord forever the saints of god will proclaim worthy worthy o worthy is the lamb now let me walk with you lord day by day listen to your voice and follow your ways for the world and its desires are passing away but a kingdom is coming of bright eternal day forever the saints of god will proclaim worthy worthy o worthy is the lamb reaching the unreached june 28 2017 june 28 2017 johanna leave a comment i recently listened to this message by john piper about the task of world missions yes it s more than an hour long but i still recommend it as being worth your time the transcript is also available so you could read it instead if you prefer i listened to it while i was working in the kitchen when there are so many needs and causes pressing in on us and people asking for our time and resources we need clarity and vision to know where our limited resources should be going listening to this message helped do that for me a brief thought on judgementalism may 30 2017 johanna 2 comments ignatius brianchaninov said whatever you do on no account condemn anyone do not even try to judge whether a person is good or bad but keep your eyes on that one evil person for whom you must give an account before god yourself i ve been spending my time criticising and judging someone in my church trying to figure out where they are spiritually praying for them deeply frustrated by them this quote helps put things in perspective i just wanna be a sheep may 27 2017 johanna leave a comment this post was first published last year as a guest post on one of my favourite blogs the recovering legalist i encourage you to go visit i just wanna be a sheep i come from a country that is famous for its sheep new zealand used to have more than 70 million sheep now the number is about 29 million according to teara govt nz august is the best time of year to see the sheep as it is late winter when the ewes are lambing it is delightful to watch the lambs gambolling in the fields playfully so different from their sedate mothers thinking about sheep gets me pondering all the biblical references to sheep the way we farm sheep here in nz is quite different from 1st century palestine or how david cared for his father s sheep before he became king of ancient israel these differences can teach us something about our relationship with god shepherds in the bible it s clear from reading the bible texts that the good shepherds in those days like david had a small number of valued sheep each one of which was known by the shepherd and who knew the shepherd and followed him what man of you having a hundred sheep if he has lost one of them does not leave the ninety nine in the open country and go after the one that is lost until he finds it and when he has found it he lays it on his shoulders rejoicing and when he comes home he calls together his friends and his neighbors saying to them rejoice with me for i have found my sheep that was lost luke 15 4 6 esv jesus also talks about the shepherd s relationship to his sheep in john 10 3 4 where he says the sheep hear his voice and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out when he has brought out all his own he goes before them and the sheep follow him for they know his voice contrast this with modern farming where a farmer will often have hundreds if not thousands of sheep they live in fields fenced by barbed wire they are seen as stupid animals that the shepherd herds by using dogs to make them obey his will you do not see a shepherd leading his sheep instead driving them in front of him they have an ear tag with a number to identify them to the sheep farmer to me this speaks of two different ways of relating to god what kind of sheep are you one kind is motivated by fear and kept safe by barbed wire these fences are like the extra rules that we make for ourselves or that others make for us to keep us safe and away from sin but they also keep us from following the shepherd to green pastures instead we are boxed in where the grass has been overgrazed living on stale hay some sheep break out thinking that the grass looks greener elsewhere and end up on a busy road or in a ditch this is like those who break away from legalism to do their own thing or those who fear the shepherd and his voice and shipwreck their lives as a result both are far from the shepherd the good shepherd s sheep are motivated by love for their shepherd they trust him to keep them safe and fed and they follow him wherever he leads he leads them to green pastures and restores their souls he protects them in the darkest valleys and lays down his life for them jesus said if you love me keep my commands and i will ask the father and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever the spirit of truth the good shepherd s sheep are led by the holy spirit jesus is not a factory farmer he wants us to know his voice and follow him out of love he doesn t want us to be penned in by traditions or extra rules but instead to walk with him to green pastures and fresh water will you follow him and here s a fun kids song to finish one of my 4 year old son s favourites all other ground is sinking sand may 24 2017 may 25 2017 johanna leave a comment when going through another bout of depression i must hold on jesus the feelings come and go but he is always the same the recovering legalist there are times when a hymn can do what nothing else can do the solid rock written by edward mote 1797 1874 has been my favorite hymn for as long as i can remember but for today it is on the second and third verse i want to focus when darkness seems to hide his face i rest on his unchanging grace in every high and stormy gale my anchor holds within the veil his oath his covenant and blood support me in the whelming flood when all around my soul gives way he then is all my hope and stay darkness does come whether we want to admit it or not there are times when like shakespeare i feel all i m doing is trouble ing deaf heaven with my bootless cries at times his loving face is hidden in the darkness leaving me to feel like no one is listening view original post 233 more words can you rejoice in me july 19 2014 july 19 2014 johanna 14 comments lying in bed earlier than i want it to be the sound of children s voices when i want quiet grumbles rise to the surface discontentment chafing if only i had a bigger house quieter children recognising the path my thoughts are taking reining them in offering thankfulness for this house these children this life and then his whisper in my mind can you rejoice in me not just thanking him for his blessings but basking in his presence opening my heart to the rays of his love looking past the changing circumstances good or ill and seeing the one who never alters i will rejoice in you unless you become as little children july 8 2014 july 8 2014 johanna 3 comments i would like to share this post from a blog that is very special to me three and a half years ago god used this blog to help me to find freedom and peace to know that i am under grace not under law and that jesus is enough 8thday4life i really believe the human default for adults that is is law and legalism i am not sure we are born with it but society operates on this paradigm so it s drilled into us at a very early age even if you don t grow up in a legalistic religion classmates and teachers both will make sure you understand the ground rules of success both socially and academically how far back can we trace our fear of failure and rejection maybe parents were critical and you felt you must achieve something to gain their love i am starting to see behavior based religion as a secondary element that we choose because it flows with the worldview we already have all the world religions i know of fall well into this same paradigm the problem isn t that the law framework is false reaping and sowing are obvious and even jesus talked about view original post 694 more words the concertos will come june 27 2014 june 27 2014 johanna 7 comments nature boy in 2013 imagine a nine year old boy playing the violin he has an excellent ear and almost never plays a wrong note he can play any tune he hears but the sound coming out of his violin doesn t match the music in his head it is scratchy and weak despite regular practice he does not seem to improve it is frustrating to listen to him knowing the possibility of his talent that was our son a year ago we had taken him to violin lessons but his teacher had not worked enough on good playing habits instead forging ahead with more and more difficult music because of his excellent ear and ability to read music at first we were pleased with his progress but as the music got harder his bad playing habits began to hamper him until his playing was no longer a pleasure for the listeners he had poor posture and his hand was crooked as he held the violin his bowing was weak something had to be done an email came into my inbox from the homeschooling network to which we belong someone recommending their daughter s suzuki violin teacher the cost would be higher than what we were already paying and it was further away but i had been praying for guidance we decided to leave the old teacher and try the new she took him right back to the beginning back to twinkle twinkle little star i tried not to care thinking it won t be long before she ll move him on to the pieces he was playing before she worked on his bowhold first then his hand position week after week she has been working on his playing habits making sure the bow goes in the right place to get the best sound standing up straight hand in the right position thumb pointing up at the ceiling not lying down every day when he practises at home i watch him to make sure that he is following her instructions almost a year later he is still not playing the more difficult pieces he was before but the sound that comes out of his instrument is a hundred times better his playing habits are not perfect but vastly improved i have learned patience waiting for the fruit of our labours knowing that this time nurturing his musical gift will be worth it in the end the concertos will come but the foundation must be properly laid as i was watching him at his violin lesson recently i started thinking about what god has been doing in my life about the bad habits that held me back from his purposes for me self pity pride criticism of others self condemnation anger impatience like me watching my son practising his violin the holy spirit reminds me when my thoughts and behaviour go off the rails he is patient and never condemns but i am frustrated at times because i want to be so much further on than i am however as we continue together the new behaviours will become the norm and the old will fall to the side already some bad habits have died and others are breathing their last gasp discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it therefore lift your dropping hands and strengthen your weak knees and make straight paths for your feet so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed hebrews 12 11 13 letting go june 18 2014 johanna 10 comments it seems like i am like an onion with layers that need to be peeled off god does some things in a hurry and others take more time i have been going through an intense spiritual and emotional shake up since easter when i had a disagreement with a family member the rift dragged up memories from my childhood of the feeling of never being good enough and it was like i could hear my family member condemning me and my life in my head every criticism or perceived criticism by this person and other people came to mind and it was almost unbearable for the last few weeks god has been working away at the festering wound of my resentment and childhood pain getting rid of it for good he s been working on my thinking about my parents showing me that i need to focus on and remember the good things about them he has shown me that i needed to repent and change my attitude towards them whatever is lovely he s been reminding me that my identity is in him not in my human family pain he has promised me that he s filling in the pit of depression so that i will be able to jump for joy god s landscaping business and last week he showed me how to forgive recently i have been reading the book to forgive is human in this quest to forgive and find lasting peace it discusses stages of forgiveness and why people forgive for example because of social pressures or because they want peace in their family reading about human reasons for forgiveness got me thinking about god and why he forgives obviously there is no outside pressure on him to forgive he is the one that makes the rules i realised that forgiveness is part of who he is it is his nature he does not experience the struggle that we often do to let go of past hurts and forgive in fact his commitment to forgiveness is so great that he paid the ultimate price so that our relationship with him could be restored as jesus was taunted by his enemies on the cross he said father forgive them for they know not what they do luke 23 24 he had no desire for revenge only empathy that pitied his enemies and recognised their blindness as i thought about god s forgiving nature i heard the song endless hallelujah by matt redman which speaks of heaven and the perfection that we will know there all the resentments and grudges we hold here will dissolve in that place all of our mistakes and wrongdoing will be forgotten then the thought came why not let my resentment go and let heaven into the dark places of my heart the not so secret corners where i s...