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reality my present state of mind reality my present state of mind this is my world therefore my rules my views my opinions and my decision to say whatever i please i know some people will love it some will hate it some will think is cool and some just won t care but the truth is that it doesn t really matter cause it s mine enjoy wednesday october 14 2009 update its hard to spend so much time away from something that you love its been over a year since i made my move to the uk and decided to radically change my life in doing so i made tremendous sacrifices and have learnt a great deal about myself in the process for starters i left a prestigious job with great respect and perks with the hope of making a smooth transition into a similar role here things haven t gone to plan thanks to the recession and instability of most markets but nonetheless i am far better off than most i earn a good salary with a secure government department and still have good benefits i have learnt that amidst confusion i am my own strength when i moved here i had a job offer that vanished within hours of my arrival i could have hopped on the next flight and returned to the security of my former job but instead i decided to hit the pavement and search out a job i have learnt that a humble approach is often the best one in my job search i started by applying for jobs within the area of my qualification area i felt so sure that my bachelors degree and masters degree from a prestigious university would do the trick for me i could never have been so wrong it seems that in a struggling market companies become blind to your paper qualifications and would quicker hire the man that just walked out of the firm next door and can hit the ground running my search turned towards entry level roles that would provide me with an income and this is where i struck gold i have learnt that life is what you make of it when i moved to london in my mind i saw a wonderful city where i would quickly form my little power circle and start hitting up the galleries malls museums theatres and life would be grand what i found however is that i would have to make friends by trial and error wouldn t have time of the social stuff and would spend most of my free time just laying in front of the television under my blanket this was life for a while until it hit me that i had to make being here make sense i started doing things on my own and in the process picked up a friend of two i may not be the socialite i thought i would be but i am now enjoying where i am life is still not where i want it and i will continue to work at getting to that point but until then i will not allow myself to settle for less than happiness i m be back to writing steadily i just need a little more me time posted by reality my present state of mind at 10 14 2009 07 46 00 am no comments labels update wednesday june 11 2008 time out when i started writing on this blog it wasn t about creating a following or anything of the sort i found that i had so many views and thoughts floating around in my mind and wanted an outlet for them i have really enjoyed the liberation that writing has offered me and though my posts tend to be sporadic they do come from a sincere place i have been neglecting this blog recently and i expect that this will be the case for a bit longer not long ago i made a somewhat calculated and somewhat spontaneous move to london i decided that there were a few dreams i wanted to pursue and there s no time like the present it is taking me a while to get settled into my new city and i really haven t been able to get back into writing mode yet i appreciate all the e mails i have received and i m somewhat touched to know that people find meaning in my thoughts so for now i m on a bit of a break but i do promise that i shall return posted by reality my present state of mind at 6 11 2008 06 21 00 pm no comments sunday april 20 2008 a penny for my thought but you can t afford my soul i haven t written anything for a while since i have been so preoccupied with my move over the past month i have had the opportunity to reflect on some things and to see life through the eyes of others i have reaffirmed my thoughts on some issues and confirmed one basic principle only you can determine who and what will make you happy it is amazing how we sometimes settle for far less than we deserve we often claim to be worth a mercedes but will quite happily take up occupancy in the first honda that comes along when we allow ourselves to be talked about walked on and overlooked do we really believe that one day we will command respect while i totally understand that not everyone has the same strength to deal with every situation one thing we should have is common sense a friend once said to me and i quite happily validate that we always know how to find a way to excel at educational and vocational stuff but when it comes to love and life decisions our stupidity shines so are we really the master of our own fate or are we willing to be pawns in someone else s game at the end of the day can we really say that we love ourselves or are we so desperate to feel loved if we re not truly happy then is there really a point i know everyone must make their own decisions and then walk the road they choose it is important however to remember that even when torn and tattered broken and frail our soul is all we really own no wo man can break us down when we know our worth so always remember that people only pay the asking price and even cheap hoes rarely give discounts posted by reality my present state of mind at 4 20 2008 06 16 00 pm 2 comments friday february 8 2008 i regret not realizing this sooner one of the most difficult emotions for most people to get over is regret i found myself wading through a mental pool of reflection today though i had some smile filled moments i also had a few pauses for regret i regretted the times i was naive in the face of blatantly obvious circumstances i regretted coming into contact with some people and letting go of others i regretted missed opportunities and opportunities i wished i had missed amidst my melancholy memorial session i realized i was seeing things all wrong regret is a dangerous emotion that should not be embraced but should be studied and understood as a child when learning to walk we all stumbled and fell a few times but it was that falling that taught us we were doing it the wrong way my regrets are not regrets they are lessons i had to learn i read somewhere that we don t remember what we are taught we remember what we learn if this is true then it would explain why it is that no matter how many times we are warned we still make mistakes then wish we had listened the truth is that i needed to be naive so i would know the value of trusting my own instincts i needed to encounter undesirable people so i would be able to properly judge character i needed to lose a few meaningful persons so i could learn to appreciate the ones that are still a part of my life i needed to miss opportunities so i would take advantage of the others to come so though i regret knowing that there are more regrets to come i do know that i will embrace every lesson it brings my way posted by reality my present state of mind at 2 08 2008 10 20 00 pm no comments thursday january 31 2008 let go and live letting go is not giving up rather it is holding on holding on to sanity and reality realizing that life goes on and there are some things and people we cannot change letting go is an art that many people never learn to perfect never learn to utilize and always come to appreciate letting go is not always the most favourable decision but is usually the best one by letting go of wayward friendships you are not are not bailing out on a friend you are allowing yourself to know when you need better friends by letting go of mistrusted lovers you are not running away from committment you are utilizing common sense to know to whom you should commit by letting go of your problems you are not a quitter you just appreciate that there are other priorities that require your focus by sensibly letting go of inhabitions you are not becomming wild you are charting a course towards your own happiness by letting go of painful memories you are not hiding from your past you are taking bolder steps towards your future let go and let life show you why it was so important for you to let go when you did posted by reality my present state of mind at 1 31 2008 09 30 00 am no comments sunday january 20 2008 and in this corner many of us when challenged prefer to take the i m a lover not a fighter road whether the motivation lies in fear or partiality is something we seldom admit even to ourselves of importance however is that we know when it is necessary to recreate a bar room scene or simply opt to mount the nearest steed and ride off into the sunset usually i suggest the evening ride since few things are worth the consequence of the fight i do however believe there are four things worth almost any fight principles friends love and answers principles are a summary of who we are and what we represent i fully endorse the adage that if you don t stand for something you will fall for anything our refusal to stand for that which we believe lessens our value and importance one wrecking ball on a chain can damage in one hour that which took one year to build all it takes however is one link of that chain to break away from the others therefore rendering the ball useless be that link it is a common belief that family is more important than friends i love family dearly but still selectively beg to differ family exist whether you are there or not in contrast friendship exist only when you are you choose your friends and do so with good reason if friendship is true it is worth any fighting usually you tend not to be quite sure who your friends are until the time comes for them to prove their status but once they have it is your responsibility to maintain their worth we search for love even when we pretend to be uninterested and then when we find it we usually pretend that it doesn t matter true love is worth the fighting true love is not ordinary love it is the love that knows no questions and holds no doubts frequently we try to sculpt ordinary love into true love by hiding from its flaws and beautifying its facade only when we are honest with ourselves and honest about our comfort does it become our duty to protect that which makes us content the secret is knowing when to admit defeat people often tell us what they want us to know and not what we want to know there are times however when we really deserve answers to what we want to know armed with persistence we can fight for the knowledge we require the key is knowing whether we can truly handle the answers we seek are you a fighter can you answer that posted by reality my present state of mind at 1 20 2008 07 28 00 pm no comments saturday january 19 2008 the greatest gift of all many of us since our age of reason have been indoctrinated to follow the belief that it is better to give than to receive we try so hard to adhere to this belief that we learn to suppress our true feelings in order to do what we feel is right the innate reality is that many of us are dying to be on the receiving end we want attention affection concern comfort and to feel validated we go out of our way to buy someone nice gift just so we can give them a smile and a reminder of their importance to us we give flowers and other trinkets just so someone else can feel loved and or appreciated we give our time just so someone can feel that we are concerned about them but we often hide taboo feelings and emotions that every time we give and do not receive we are left feeling deprived and somewhat discontented is it so wrong that we want to receive every now and then is it wrong that we get tired of non reciprocated giving is it wrong that we want the attention to be on us from time to time we scream inside when we feel neglected but we continue to give because we ve been taught that it is the right thing to do i have decided to counter this feeling of emptiness by giving something important to someone important i have decided to give myself a voice i have decided to speak up when i feel unappreciated or otherwise discontented i know all too well that there will be people unable to handle my stance but here s my gift to them tolerance honesty and the option to leave posted by reality my present state of mind at 1 19 2008 10 29 00 am no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom calm against calamity photo was taken by the coral beach canal freeport grand bahama copyright protected beach life this photo was taken on barbury beach freeport grand bahama copyright protected bahamian evening this photo was taken just before sunset freeport grand bahama and yes it is copyright protected blog archive 2009 1 october 1 update 2008 8 june 1 april 1 february 1 january 5 2007 16 december 1 november 1 october 5 september 1 august 3 july 1 june 4 about me reality my present state of mind freeport grand bahama bahamas thrown into this world on the 27th day of june 1981 somewhat educated associates bachelor s master s but a continual student in the school of life some say i m a nice person some say i m cool witty loyal and realistic and other s say i m brutally opinionated harsh and a pain in the a to be honest i ve come to realize that the only thing that matters is what i think about myself i m me honest realistic empathatic and unbiased at least that s for now since i believe in the continuous evolution that is life view my complete profile our deepest fear our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us _____________________________ an excerpt from a return to love by marianne williamson visitors buy flowers online