Meta tags:
description=A blog about quilting, sewing and crafting.;

Headings (most frequently used words):

2014, me, our, thursday, monday, august, 21, find, on, blog, losing, son, part, winner, pages, wednesday, march, 2016, october, 15, 2015, december, september, sunday, 17, saturday, june, about, grab, button, flickr, followers, archive, subscribe, to, featured, ozzie, izzy, gibby, bee, block, quilt, completed, two, updates, one, school, spirit, chicken, dinner, rjr, fabrics, cotton, solid, supremes, hop, texas, qal, play, trains,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (224), and (196), was (76), for (75), that (61), our (48), had (41), jackson (37), you (33), have (32), him (32), this (30), will (30), with (29), but (29), all (28), they (24), know (23), from (22), his (22), make (20), out (20), after (20), were (18), one (17), quilt (16), blog (16), get (16), would (16), more (16), just (16), some (15), son (15), even (15), through (15), day (15), quilts (14), didn (14), jared (13), there (13), before (13), procedure (13), body (13), doctor (13), only (13), love (12), them (12), also (12), fabrics (12), baby (12), pubs (12), sunflower (11), september (11), about (11), are (11), what (11), wanted (11), texas (11), made (11), not (11), solids (11), during (11), never (11), able (11), every (11), which (11), comments (10), august (10), block (10), your (10), where (10), could (10), because (10), when (10), entire (10), sure (10), hop (10), don (10), cotton (10), than (10), birth (10), many (10), back (10), weeks (10), march (9), october (9), unknown (9), fun (9), going (9), left (9), together (9), little (9), check (9), hydrops (9), full (9), medicine (9), much (9), home (8), posted (8), see (8), great (8), decided (8), next (8), last (8), year (8), born (8), over (8), rjr (8), first (8), having (8), jon (8), time (8), epidural (8), really (8), feel (8), fluid (8), autopsy (8), may (7), june (7), like (7), came (7), days (7), pattern (7), who (7), pretty (7), supreme (7), winner (7), can (7), since (7), husband (7), then (7), side (7), child (7), doctors (7), again (7), blood (7), spinal (7), remember (7), hard (7), giving (7), still (7), pain (7), january (6), april (6), december (6), 2014 (6), 2015 (6), bee (6), labels (6), too (6), used (6), paint (6), well (6), did (6), way (6), needed (6), help (6), their (6), heart (6), being (6), come (6), been (6), went (6), always (6), other (6), fully (6), thanks (6), due (6), stoplight (6), thought (6), person (6), new (6), said (6), school (6), family (6), hour (6), hear (6), three (6), took (6), into (6), lives (6), second (6), heaven (6), brother (6), any (6), mueller (5), posts (5), february (5), november (5), find (5), trains (5), lots (5), those (5), around (5), water (5), might (5), different (5), room (5), want (5), years (5), blocks (5), matter (5), finally (5), couldn (5), mother (5), how (5), give (5), things (5), process (5), wasn (5), makes (5), god (5), has (5), everything (5), good (5), gave (5), needle (5), now (5), checked (5), rate (5), thing (5), sweet (5), two (5), without (5), something (5), everyone (5), month (5), hospital (5), long (5), round (5), labor (5), com (4), shot (4), awesome (4), colors (4), stickers (4), put (4), real (4), hot (4), zoo (4), cardboard (4), knew (4), own (4), qal (4), special (4), few (4), crazy (4), follow (4), pick (4), win (4), away (4), 001 (4), case (4), already (4), these (4), think (4), keep (4), fetalis (4), strong (4), stronger (4), precious (4), taking (4), done (4), myself (4), end (4), part (4), low (4), nervous (4), cry (4), wouldn (4), longer (4), small (4), amniotic (4), pregnant (4), losing (4), found (4), plans (4), most (4), deliver (4), cytotec (4), contractions (4), decide (4), answers (4), sunflower_quilt (4), jamie (3), atom (3), july (3), older (3), wooden (3), play (3), boxes (3), another (3), daddy (3), got (3), track (3), painted (3), glitter (3), wet (3), animals (3), pieces (3), enough (3), etc (3), glue (3), mine (3), here (3), need (3), quilting (3), old (3), lot (3), soon (3), state (3), saw (3), hold (3), leave (3), email (3), bundle (3), called (3), 002 (3), 003 (3), 5001 (3), 5002 (3), super (3), asked (3), thursday (3), pdf (3), kathy (3), monday (3), happy (3), loved (3), turned (3), sad (3), won (3), aaron (3), meet (3), getting (3), amazing (3), option (3), plan (3), procedures (3), while (3), save (3), perfect (3), walked (3), ready (3), down (3), off (3), stomach (3), mark (3), walk (3), hours (3), sore (3), single (3), port (3), heartbeat (3), felt (3), tell (3), night (3), sleep (3), knowing (3), times (3), relax (3), belly (3), sample (3), anemia (3), removed (3), sac (3), less (3), news (3), pregnancy (3), ever (3), progesterone (3), parent (3), post (3), trying (3), moment (3), easier (3), brought (3), inside (3), beautiful (3), minute (3), likely (3), leaving (3), stillborn (3), forever (3), nurses (3), dilated (3), break (3), meds (3), decisions (3), periscope (3), sew (3), seeds (2), simple (2), theme (2), subscribe (2), completed (2), 2016 (2), www (2), div (2), button (2), width (2), http (2), 150 (2), train (2), stuff (2), children (2), summer (2), colored (2), poms (2), pipe (2), cleaners (2), use (2), chicken (2), foam (2), farm (2), look (2), cute (2), shells (2), sand (2), glued (2), favorite (2), fake (2), leaves (2), plants (2), scenes (2), tracks (2), craft (2), supplies (2), rocks (2), normal (2), except (2), saturday (2), joined (2), late (2), living (2), place (2), history (2), lived (2), understand (2), live (2), jamiemueller0522 (2), often (2), busy (2), instagram (2), everyday (2), updates (2), stopping (2), please (2), friday (2), pink (2), online (2), shop (2), galaxy (2), hst (2), 0006 (2), 2006 (2), 4001 (2), 006 (2), steel (2), 331 (2), chose (2), along (2), soft (2), facebook (2), forgot (2), sorry (2), couple (2), winners (2), emily (2), nielson (2), chance (2), let (2), should (2), law (2), logo (2), helps (2), wonderful (2), backing (2), fabric (2), womb (2), scared (2), life (2), very (2), harder (2), sat (2), table (2), feeling (2), work (2), almost (2), stop (2), seemed (2), minutes (2), six (2), poke (2), marks (2), remained (2), operating (2), immediately (2), wheeled (2), working (2), severely (2), anemic (2), partial (2), truly (2), bad (2), umbilical (2), cord (2), fetal (2), later (2), multiple (2), amniocentesis (2), test (2), under (2), sent (2), performed (2), genetic (2), risk (2), ultrasound (2), non (2), immune (2), medical (2), problems (2), severe (2), beginning (2), miscarriage (2), forget (2), luckily (2), early (2), pills (2), each (2), social (2), lost (2), journal (2), week (2), thank (2), support (2), throughout (2), closer (2), sister (2), friends (2), hope (2), move (2), service (2), church (2), rest (2), buried (2), such (2), constant (2), talking (2), happened (2), quicker (2), people (2), helped (2), same (2), right (2), boy (2), allow (2), physically (2), wait (2), hardest (2), obviously (2), maybe (2), mama (2), meeting (2), both (2), photos (2), afraid (2), filled (2), fact (2), coming (2), delivered (2), why (2), once (2), inducing (2), dilate (2), drip (2), hopefully (2), cremated (2), questions (2), options (2), delivery (2), received (2), oliso (2), swap (2), linen (2), copyright, powered, blogger, gibby, izzy, ozzie, featured, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, archive, followers, photostream, flick, flickr, class, style, 102px, margin, auto, href, index, htm, rel, nofollow, img, src, lh3, googleusercontent, 5y9uuo6rzgs, ua0tntp63fi, aaaaaaaabea, qyadtpr97hm, w506, h744, sq_logo_vertblog_button, jpg, alt, 102, height, grab, view, complete, profile, toys, thomas, games, diy, crafty, crafts, activity, kiddos, set, built, brightly, lastly, seuss, shapes, land, flash, cards, dollar, bin, target, added, cow, horse, pig, barn, pond, plenty, pasture, ocean, sparkle, beach, area, sea, collected, galveston, island, monkeys, hanging, stick, picking, sections, seem, putting, traced, anything, glass, sticks, yard, brushes, aldi, sam, club, interrupt, sewing, cuteness, loves, yesterday, reuse, course, gun, places, game, across, deep, raised, mean, hoarding, jumped, fast, directions, adjust, bit, finish, omit, city, miss, dearly, texans, known, pride, described, conceited, 7th, grade, replacing, unless, greatness, texan, anywho, examples, keeps, sunday, weekend, comment, below, 29th, address, ahold, yeah, generously, donated, letting, participate, stops, yourself, castle, offers, lap, size, version, craftsy, bunch, triangle, scraps, throw, sewed, scrappy, modern, finished, available, 0001, 0003, 0004, 1906, 2001, 031, 5000, 005, 009, 012, 013, 014, 5006, 176, 181, 204, 264, 285, 289, 290, 311, 326, 342, 366, 314, 339, begin, 9617, numbers, prettier, tons, join, say, page, website, hey, solid, supremes, ahhh, totally, copy, congrats, send, quily, dinner, offer, auction, athletic, director, appliqué, center, designed, talented, art, teacher, mike, fancy, someone, doodled, fmq, loops, raise, money, definitely, ended, buying, bolt, making, chevrons, photo, shoot, showcase, riley, blake, spirit, gives, strength, phillipians, frame, hidden, secret, woven, depths, earth, eyes, unformed, ordained, written, book, created, inmost, knit, praise, fearfully, wonderfully, works, psalm, 139, loving, grandma, playground, feels, difference, world, rock, throws, remain, anymore, married, faith, lengths, guarantee, survive, termination, strongly, advised, fulfill, sick, survives, spend, nicu, care, worrying, outcome, possible, platelets, calm, started, wear, sticking, giant, doing, transfusing, ask, painfully, row, toll, unborn, best, realized, proceed, completely, waking, told, transfuse, dropping, recover, pokes, hole, rough, fell, asleep, slept, confirm, numbing, partially, awake, towards, quickly, numbness, wore, percutaneous, sampling, diagnostic, extracts, vein, analyzed, detect, chromosomal, defects, abnormalities, half, draws, ultrasounds, results, rapid, flow, brain, prenatal, amount, surrounding, testing, ounce, fine, inserted, uterus, guidance, laboratory, analysis, tests, depending, indication, abdomen, fetus, occurs, disease, condition, upsets, ability, manage, main, causes, type, lung, thalassemia, infections, developmental, upside, months, prior, conceiving, miracle, thrilled, miscarry, happens, miscarried, catch, caught, fixed, problem, insane, extremes, instant, overwhelming, sense, safe, media, accounts, kept, downhill, spiral, backtrack, rewrite, continued, prayers, means, journey, dear, parents, enjoy, relationship, reassuring, comforting, declares, lord, prosper, harm, future, jeremiah, eventually, burst, tears, conceive, joy, better, incomplete, burial, grandparents, laid, between, lit, lantern, peace, reminders, moms, bodily, courage, public, store, errands, somewhere, appreciate, prayed, face, mind, story, talk, normally, crier, cried, evening, pastor, job, easy, either, preaching, group, crying, comfort, cope, doesn, visitors, discharged, samples, taken, biopsies, prepared, emotional, turmoil, walking, longest, saddest, take, alone, difficult, far, tummy, jesus, snuggling, glad, believe, exhausted, emotionally, suggested, weigh, measure, foot, handprints, keepsakes, capture, cherish, sharing, respect, show, anyone, private, internet, dot, weighing, measuring, inches, weighed, red, layers, skin, form, cutest, hands, feet, chubby, adorable, formed, including, fingernails, finger, age, resembled, ways, kiss, fragile, popping, sounds, explain, similar, blister, instead, arrived, seconds, biggest, concerns, placenta, deliveries, smaller, push, worst, scenario, meant, recovery, door, rushed, broke, pushing, tuesday, rare, sound, wants, bittersweet, physical, pressure, gone, threw, shortly, vaginal, pill, third, nothing, happen, rounds, mild, hurt, kind, relief, otherwise, dilating, midnight, fourth, point, regular, becoming, uncomfortable, figured, gear, fifth, within, painful, bury, funeral, released, ourselves, until, thankfully, cause, trigger, light, bulb, mfm, team, solve, mystery, sakes, reveal, tried, nurse, genuinely, cared, besides, epidurals, opted, offered, aware, declined, strange, drawn, fluids, band, whole, naturally, induced, term, abortion, maternal, office, scheduled, appointment, heard, double, confirmed, step, youtube, twitter, pro, smart, iron, cannot, try, honest, review, video, watch, weekly, videos, quilty, basically, huge, dork, talks, her, eden, line, tula, free, motion, design, practiced, ruler, lunch, assigned, choice, provided, picked, teals, yellows, gray, background, tote, bags, enjoyed, washed, cozy, sit, robert, kaufman, essex, stlmqg, wednesday, brick, road, cathedral, windows, tutorials, contact, pages,

Text of the page (random words):
iggest concerns for me was if i d be able to deliver the placenta on my own or if i d have to go to the or and have it removed with early deliveries and the fact that the baby was smaller there was a risk that it wouldn t come out on it s own after my ob checked me he thought it was low enough for me to deliver it on my own and with one push it was out finally one thing that wasn t worst case scenario during the last three weeks of our lives not going to the or meant quicker recovery for me which was great news after about an hour or so i was exhausted both emotionally and physically from giving birth to a stillborn the two nurses suggested that jon and i get some sleep while they took jackson to weigh measure and get foot handprints as some of the only keepsakes we have of our sweet son my sister in law also went with them to capture precious photos of jackson and i have about 150 photos that i will cherish forever i won t be sharing too many online in respect for our family i m happy to show anyone who would like to see them but want to keep them private off the internet jackson was born at 22 weeks on the dot weighing 14 oz and measuring 9 ½ inches long he really weighed less than 14 oz but due to the hydrops he had so much fluid throughout his entire little body his entire body was red and the first layers of skin were just beginning to form jackson was perfect in every way he had the cutest hands and feet chubby and adorable his body was fully formed including having fingernails on every finger even at this age he resembled his daddy and his older brother in many ways he was cute i just wanted to hold him and kiss him and never let him go at the same time he was so fragile that i was afraid to hold him for too long obviously he wouldn t feel any pain but with his fluid filled hydrops body i was afraid of popping him as crazy as that sounds trying to explain it is similar to a fluid filled blister but instead it was his entire body we decided that we wanted jared to meet his baby brother so that maybe it would help him understand that his brother was born no longer in mama s tummy and was now with jesus in heaven jared was so sweet meeting his brother and then snuggling mama and daddy i m so glad that we had jared meet jackson and i really believe it helped jared and us as hard as it was it was the right thing for our family jackson had many visitors that day and is one loved little boy by 8 00 pm i was ready to be discharged jackson needed to get a couple samples taken for biopsies but i was ready physically to go home i couldn t wait to go home and leave the hospital where so many sad things happened jon and i were not prepared for the emotional turmoil of leaving the hospital without our son walking him to a room to leave him at the hospital for an autopsy was the longest saddest hardest walk of our lives we just wanted to be able to take our son home but obviously couldn t leaving the hospital alone was the most difficult thing of the entire process i thought giving birth to a stillborn would be the hardest but leaving him forever was by far harder on thursday evening we had a beautiful service at our church for jackson which was so hard and so beautiful at the same time our pastor did an amazing job and i m sure it wasn t easy for him either preaching to a group of crying people as hard as it was it also gave us so much comfort knowing that jackson is in heaven and not in any pain makes it easier to cope i know that days will get easier right now i m pretty much living minute by minute having jared helps me keep busy because a 3 ½ year old boy who is always on the move doesn t allow for down time two weeks after giving birth i still have the constant reminders of giving birth moms you know what bodily things i m talking about my pregnant belly is no longer there which happened quicker than i thought and makes me sad i still could cry at any minute and still don t have the courage to go out in public where i know lots of people going to the store for errands is hard but not as hard as going somewhere where i know pretty much everyone that is something new to me because i have always been a social person i appreciate everyone s support and love everyone who has prayed helped or just been there for us during the last month but it s just hard to face everyone i don t mind talking about jackson and i m happy to tell his story but just know that if you see me in person and we talk about him i will most likely cry which is also new to me because i m not normally a crier i ve cried more in this last month than i have my entire 30 years on saturday october 10 2015 we had a small burial service for jackson at the church where jon s grandparents are laid to rest jackson is buried in between them and it is so special it was a beautiful day and jared was so sweet he never left his brother s side and took part in the entire process we lit a lantern and sent it up to heaven for jackson and the day brought us all such peace we will never forget jackson and never fully get over or be able to move on but i know that it will get easier and that eventually i won t just burst into tears at every little thing it took us 2 ½ years and one miscarriage to conceive jackson and he brought so much joy to our lives in the 22 weeks he lived inside my womb our lives will always be better because of him our lives will always feel incomplete without him but know that god has a plan for him we might not know his plans but something good will come from this jeremiah 29 11 for i know the plans i have for you declares the lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future also knowing that we will see jackson again in heaven is so reassuring and comforting jackson is in heaven with his brother or sister we lost before him and his many family and friends who are already there throughout this journey my dear husband had been by my side we have been together for almost 10 years and i didn t think i could love him more after losing jackson i feel even closer to him and love him more than i did before i couldn t do this without him and know that we will get through this together and be stronger parents for jared i even feel closer to jared and i m trying to enjoy every moment with him even more than i did before my relationship with god is even stronger and i know that our family will get through this together with god s help again thank you all for your continued prayers and support for our family it means more than you ll ever know posted by unknown at 8 46 pm 6 comments labels hydrops hydrops fetalis jackson aaron mueller pubs pubs procedure updates losing our son part one for those of you that follow me on different social media accounts you know that my husband and i lost our second son jackson on september 29 2015 i kept a journal during the three week downhill spiral of the pregnancy i am going to backtrack as i rewrite my journal during those three weeks into this blog post i will also post a second post about the day i gave birth to jackson it s insane as a mother and parent the extremes we would go to for our children from the instant i found out that i was pregnant each time i was in love with my child and get an overwhelming sense to do everything that i can to keep them safe this pregnancy has been hard from the beginning we had a miscarriage two months prior to conceiving this miracle and while i was thrilled i was also nervous to miscarry again i don t think that feeling will ever go away no matter how many times i am pregnant you don t ever get over losing a child no matter when it happens you get on with your life but you never forget we miscarried due to me having low progesterone and didn t catch it in time the day i found out we were pregnant again i went to the doctor immediately we found out that i had low progesterone again but luckily caught it early enough that taking progesterone pills everyday fixed the problem i was able to stop taking the pills after 12 weeks i finally felt a little less nervous but it didn t fully go away at 19 weeks our lives were turned upside down with the news that our sweet baby had non immune hydrops fetalis non immune hydrops fetalis occurs when a disease or medical condition upsets the body s ability to manage fluid there are three main causes for this type heart or lung problems severe anemia e g from thalassemia or infections and genetic or developmental problems the next day i had the first procedure done called amniocentesis amniocentesis is a prenatal test in which a small amount of amniotic fluid is removed from the sac surrounding the fetus for testing the sample of amniotic fluid less than one ounce is removed through a fine needle inserted into the uterus through the abdomen under ultrasound guidance the fluid is then sent to a laboratory for analysis different tests can be performed on a sample of amniotic fluid depending on the genetic risk and indication for the test one and a half weeks later after multiple blood draws and ultrasounds we had all of the results which all came back normal due to rapid blood flow in the baby s brain the only thing left was anemia and the only way to find out for sure was through a pubs procedure percutaneous umbilical cord blood sampling pubs is a diagnostic procedure in which a doctor extracts a sample of fetal blood from the vein in the umbilical cord this blood can be analyzed to detect chromosomal defects or other abnormalities at 21 weeks we had our first pubs procedure to confirm that our baby was severely anemic i walked myself to the operating room and sat on a table i had a full epidural and a partial spinal block they gave me numbing medicine and some medicine to help me relax but i was partially awake during the 2 hour procedure i could hear the doctors but only truly remember towards the end i didn t feel too bad after the first procedure and was able to walk quickly after the numbness wore off from the epidural i had six needle poke marks on my belly a shot mark on my back from the spinal block and an epidural port left in my back to be used again the next day the next day we had our 2 nd pubs procedure since they left the port in my back they gave me the epidural in my room before taking me to the operating room they checked the baby s heartbeat and felt that it as low and made the doctors nervous which immediately made me scared and cry but i knew that i had to be strong for my child to give him the best chance they wheeled me to the or and realized the epidural wasn t working on my entire body just on one side and then decided to give me a full spinal block as well they checked the baby s heart rate and it was back to a good rate to proceed and i made sure they went to tell my husband so that he wouldn t be as nervous as when they wheeled me out they put me completely out for this procedure so i don t remember much during the 2 hours i remember waking up and being told they couldn t transfuse due to jackson s heart rate dropping at the end since i had a full epidural and full spinal block it took me longer to recover than the day before my back remained sore all night i had a few more needle pokes on my stomach another shot mark on my back and a small hole from where the epidural port was on my back it was a little rough to sleep that night but i finally fell asleep and slept knowing that jackson s heart rate was good after being checked 3 more times that day the next day we had our 3 rd pubs procedure i again walked myself to the or and sat on the table i saw all of the blood and platelets ready to go for our precious child and had a good feeling about the day since the epidural didn t work the day before they only gave me a full spinal block and calm down medicine i could hear the doctors during the 1 ½ hour procedure but really only remember the end the spinal block started to wear off at the end and i could feel them sticking my stomach with a giant needle but they said they were almost done and that jackson was doing great and transfusing him now so i didn t ask for more medicine because they would have needed to stop i could fully hear them and remember the last what seemed like 15 or so minutes i had six more needle poke marks on my stomach and a new shot mark on my back i was able to walk 4 hours after the procedure and my body remained painfully sore for days after having all of that done to my body three days in a row really took a toll on me more than i thought it would the crazy part is that i would do it every single day to save my unborn son it s amazing the lengths a mother will go through for their child and in our case there is no guarantee that our baby will even survive to birth or after termination is never an option for us even thought we were strongly advised by many doctors i have a stronger doctor on my side and know that god has a plan for our precious child and i will do everything that i can to fulfill his plan we will have to go through many pubs procedures before this baby is born and know that he is very sick and if he survives and makes it through birth he will spend a lot of time in the nicu it makes it even harder going through this while taking care and worrying about our older son no matter what the outcome i know as a mother that i ve done everything possible to save my son he is a perfect child of god and is already so loved by many my loving husband was by my side during this entire process he never left my side except for one hour to meet our other son and grandma at the playground there is no way id be able to be strong for jackson if jon wasn t strong for me i m sure he feels scared and not sure what to do but him just being by my side makes all the difference in the world he s my rock and no matter what life throws at us we will remain strong together i didn t think i could love him anymore than after getting married and having our first son but i love him even more after all of this and our faith is stronger through this as well psalm 139 13 16 for you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother s womb i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made your works are wonderful i know that full well my frame was not hidden from you when i was made in the secret place when i was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be phillipians 4 13 i can do all things through him who gives me strength posted by unknown at 8 17 pm 2 comments labels hydrops hydrops fetalis jackson aaron mueller pubs pubs procedure monday december 8 2014 school spirit my mother in law asked me to make a quilt for the school s auction this year where my husband is the athletic director i decided to keep it simple and appliqué the school s logo in the center my husband designed the logo and our super talented art teacher mike made it look fancy and not like so...