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jammin with the jamisons pyzam com click here for blogger templates and myspace layouts skip to main skip to sidebar jammin with the jamisons random notes about our life wednesday october 5 2011 ivf journey i have been contemplating about whether or not to share our experience but through this difficult process i have been grateful for all the message boards and blogs that i found on the internet that helped answer so many questions that we had throughout the process even though our experience is not quite done i only hope that by sharing our experience it will reach out to those who are going through the same ordeal background our journey began in 2009 we met with the fertility clinic about a year and a half after we had no success on our own after discussing with the doctor we had tried 6 iuis and all were not successful the next option was ivf we were quite scared of the ivf process but decided to schedule it for dec 2010 which at that time was quite a while as the time got closer we were still very hesitant about the timing because i was still in school and the week of retrieval was during finals week however we ended up cancelling it because of an experience we had at the temple instead of ivf we decided to try and take a less invasive approach and met with a naturopathic doctor after 3 months of taking about 19 pills a day still no success we also decided to try acupuncture the acupuncturist treated me for stress insomnia and infertility still no luck the beginning summer of 2011 came and went and we finally felt that it was time to do ivf especially since i am done with school and all the major youth program events that we participated in for our church were completed e g girls camp scout camp youth conference we scheduled an appointment to meet with the fertility specialist again and we were so surprised how quickly everything fell into place we scheduled ivf for sept and it was a whirlwind of events the fertility clinic gave us a calendar and packet of information about when all the injections and medications would start everything seemed to be on rapid speed since they put me on birth control right away and we only had a few short weeks before the whole process began ivf process injections let the dreaded shots begin i was fearing these shots but i was quite surprised that they were not bad i was able to gather the courage to do the morning shot myself with the follistim pen and ryan did the evening shots menopur and ganirelix each day i went into the office so they can monitor follicle growth and blood testing more needles everything was going well and we were set for egg retrieval a few days earlier than normal after getting the go ahead we did the hcg trigger shot this was a beast of a needle and goes in the lower backside i was so scared of it ryan was brave enough to do the injection no hesitation and with dart like maneuver the needle went in without an issue relief this would be the same for the daily progestrone in oil shot as well egg retrieval egg retrieval went smoothly as well prior to egg retrieval felt really bloaty but overall okay i was put on local anesthesia for this procedure so i don t remember much i remember waking up and saying it s done that was fast according to ryan i said this multiple times and then would promptly fall back asleep until i finally woke up for real the doctor asked ryan if i took cough medicine or drank much and being a latter day saint the answer was no the doctor said he figured as such because they only put in a tiny bit in me and i was out we were fortunate enough to have 15 eggs retrieved i still felt bloaty afterwards and later that day felt really bad cramping but it was tolerable with some advil and a heating pad next few days i was drinking gatorade like crazy to avoid ohss ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome gatorade felt like it was running through my veins but i felt good no ohss transfer we were undecided as to how many embryos to put in and came to the consensus that we would say 2 but will do what the doctor recommends he recommended that we do a single embryo transfer due to age egg quality first ivf we felt good about the decision and proceeded this process was easy and very similar to an iui the only thing that was difficult was maintaining a full bladder for the transfer process it was amazing to see the transfer on the ultrasound screen there was a tiny white streak on the screen and the doctor told us that was the air bubble with our embryo inside amazing i was on bed rest for 2 days first day night i spent it on the couch but found out that was not a good idea sore back shoulders etc i mainly slept those 2 days overall feeling fine 2 week wait ahh the awful 2ww no more daily office visits and blood tests just waiting it is enough to drive someone crazy let alone all the hormones pills injections tried to take it easy went to the library after being done with bed rest and felt some intense cramping i was trying to handle the cramping by quick breaths felt a little silly because it seemed like something one would do during labor took it easy the next few days was warned not to take a home pregnancy test because of false negatives and positives but i couldn t resist so i took one 2 days before the first blood test it was a negative i was saddened to never see the 2 blue lines ryan said not to worry since it could still be too early tried to remain positive and to remember how smoothly everything was going we went to a movie to get my mind off of it first beta test couldn t sleep at all the night before because of worry about the test results i received a priesthood blessing from ryan and the blessing said that i would have peace and comfort i told ryan that the blessing did not seem quite positive and he chuckled and said to be patient went in to get my blood drawn for testing early that morning and just waited for the call from the office i realized now that the wait is the worst part of the whole process that one call would be life changing the nurse finally called shortly before lunchtime and told me the results beta count was at 6 with 5 and under being a negative therefore since my beta count was so low it is most likely a negative however they still wanted me to remain on all drugs and wait for the second beta test to confirm wait 2 now we wait again first word that came to my mind after the call devastation but kinda had a feeling this was the case based on the home pregnancy test and a general off feeling i will be honest it is so hard to maintain an optimistic and positive outlook i feel numb the emotional pain is so much worse than anything i have come to realize that physical pain is much more tolerable tons of questions have swarmed through my mind as to what went wrong did i do something how did the whole process go so smoothly until the end what could we have done differently what more must we sacrifice i wish we could re wind and go back to the transfer process and re do maybe i needed to take it easier so many unanswered questions i took another progesterone shot last night and wondered if it was even worth taking this shot i wonder if there is still a small glimmer of hope and chance for a miracle that the second beta test will turn out positive second beta test went in to get blood drawn one last time for some reason i have a lump forming from the blood drawn what a way to end this ivf cycle still feels very surreal knowing that we have reached the end the whole thing went by so quickly i almost wonder whether we forgot something along the way finally got the call from the office to confirm that my betas went down to 4 so it is a definite negative next steps the obvious question is what next to be honest we are still dealing with this i know many have asked whether we have considered adoption or foster children and we have truly analyzed and prayed about it but right now it is not our time there is just another level of emotions that go through the adoption process and we are not there yet the only thing we can do is to take it day by day as painful as it might be to hold tight on the idea of hope and to have faith that the long term plan is the right one is this easy to do by all means no it is agonizing and it hurts and i don t know how long it will hurt there have been many tears shed through this whole journey but i know that our journey is not complete and that is what keeps us going posted by evelyn at 1 17 pm 0 comments saturday may 14 2011 1 year later from last post still grasping the concept of blogging as you can tell from my last entry one year later i graduated very surreal but worth it had to take a pic of my new shoes for the occasion posted by evelyn at 8 46 am 0 comments monday may 10 2010 so close yet it seems so far away finals week the countdown to the end of spring 2010 semester classes starts today late night cramming sessions group presentations papers meeting allotted page amounts multiple choice guessing 4 more days seems like forever posted by evelyn at 3 03 pm 4 comments wednesday april 28 2010 lesson learned lesson learned from living in new mexico never leave your windows opened during high winds no fun finding a nice layer of orange dirt in a white bathroom posted by evelyn at 11 40 am 2 comments friday march 5 2010 say what so i m a total slacker when it comes to blogging but here s a quick update it s halfway through another semester packed with stats econ and tech oh the joys each class seems to have its own language and the phrase which best summarizes each class is say what not so fun feeling after spending 2 5 hrs in class in complete and utter confusion too bad there isn t a rosetta stone kit for these classes to learn the language in 10 mins posted by evelyn at 11 36 am 9 comments sunday november 15 2009 tis the season today we woke up to snow granted it was only a dusting but it definitely felt like the christmas since we re going to be very busy these next few weeks we decided to put up christmas decorations after church here s the results of our first christmas tree and the decorations posted by evelyn at 6 42 pm 13 comments thursday october 22 2009 my view for the past few months since my blog has not been updated for a while here is a quick evelyn s eye view of where i have been what i have been seeing for the past few months i know very exciting this pic was even taken with my laptop which now seems to be an appendage unm parish library posted by evelyn at 3 33 pm 9 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me evelyn view my complete profile blog archive 2011 2 october 1 ivf journey may 1 2010 3 may 1 april 1 march 1 2009 21 november 1 october 1 september 1 august 2 july 1 june 3 april 3 march 5 february 3 january 1 2008 8 december 1 november 2 october 4 january 1 family and friends goldengrams the chang gang and thus we see nate and theresa the groneman bunch enjoying every day thoughts and things yes i am talking to you renfro 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