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description=Being a stepmother is a funny experience. It s one you (I) need to share with others, yet it s also sensitive and tricky and scary to talk about because there are often surprises of negative responses, judgements or strange looks waiting. It s not easy to know how to discuss, like trying to paint multiple facets in…;

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the paradox of stepmotherhood through my eyes home jasmine portfolio rss through my eyes capturing snippets of what i see now so when i look back at them years later i might see again with clearer vision and take delight in what my life has been creative life media people recommendations reflections social issues spiritual travel the paradox of stepmotherhood filed under uncategorized leave a comment january 24 2017 being a stepmother is a funny experience it s one you i need to share with others yet it s also sensitive and tricky and scary to talk about because there are often surprises of negative responses judgements or strange looks waiting it s not easy to know how to discuss like trying to paint multiple facets in one brushstroke it is this is hard but you never want people to take away poor her it s new family life is really amazing my family is supportive but it doesn t mean there is no aloneness it is both i am a parent and who am i all at once it is wanting to say this is something i ve chosen but also it has its pain when people ask me about my son i sometimes feel compelled to correct them and add a step hypersensitive that he has a real mum anxious not to disturb that dynamic the unique experience of bringing a child into the world a mother son bond is also not the history i have yet when i am referred to as stepmum i find myself wanting to express i give all i can to him he is practically like my son on one hand i desire strive to be an equal partner in the family on the other i am confronted with try to create space for the reality that the child already has parents main security anchors and authority figures this paradox creates aloneness because there s often no simple expression to share stepparenthood starts with the stress of relational uncertainty apprehension rejection a sudden change of focus lifestyle a reorienteering of identity without the expectancy social blessing or celebration of a new child it can cause someone to shrink away and hide with nearly a year of challenge laughs silent tears behind me i look back and i do feel pretty accomplished it s not clear cut or fully resolved and not without pain but meaningful nonetheless watching a child grow and shaping it is incredible there is no other word for it it is innocence and curiosity and cheekiness and lots of learning the question is what about it can you really share with others with the authority of a mum especially to mutual family friends it can feel like those shoes have been filled like living under a shadow but the biggest realisation i ve experienced and learnt is that so much of what you feel is largely determined by your outlook focus it s about learning to recognise and embrace the love appreciation and support for you so in ways writing is a way of creating and exploring the space and knowing that there are ways to make it good share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading related comments rss feed leave a comment δ my 2016 why i love adelaide a reluctant migrant s perspective copywriting translation work twitter tweets by jasmineyow publications behind that shiny resume get behind that shiny resume on amazon google no instagram images were found read my story recent posts on newborns and grace 2020 on wealth parenting gratitude dream houses and aspirations celebrating a first birthday end of year reflections top posts pages the paradox of stepmotherhood create a free website or blog at wordpress com back to top comment reblog subscribe subscribed through my eyes join 219 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy through my eyes subscribe subscribed sign up log in copy shortlink report this content view post in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar d design a site like this with wordpress com get started