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description=I love the festive/reflective season for the space it affords me to slow down, breathe, enjoy gratitude for the year gone past... and maybe write a word or two. The past year saw me starting to journal (a practice almost forced upon me by my husband, in his now-forsaken diary). It s been surprisingly helpful to…;

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end of year reflections through my eyes home jasmine portfolio rss through my eyes capturing snippets of what i see now so when i look back at them years later i might see again with clearer vision and take delight in what my life has been creative life media people recommendations reflections social issues spiritual travel end of year reflections filed under uncategorized leave a comment december 2 2018 i love the festive reflective season for the space it affords me to slow down breathe enjoy gratitude for the year gone past and maybe write a word or two the past year saw me starting to journal a practice almost forced upon me by my husband in his now forsaken diary it s been surprisingly helpful to look back at those entries and remember the journey the emotional challenges peppered through the year what i ve been through and how i ve come to be today i had written that i had an impactful realisation in 2017 that i needed to take a serious look at how i was driving myself forward all the time with a deep fear of insufficiency i suddenly realised that no matter where i was i was my harshest loudest critic shaped by isolating times and trauma i didn t necessarily know how to be more normal forgiving and relaxed survival was this big important all defining necessity i am grateful for the opportunities i had in 2018 to grow in self care and compassion which was very helpful as i took on a more challenging job i ve loved the scope of the job and its breadth of challenges amidst that i made a self care plan and schedule which helped me find inner balance and control i had the opportunity to work with coaches that helped me rebuild a sense of identity and confidence amidst an ongoing lostness in the sea of life changes and i do have a lot of progress to celebrate i think that even though becoming a stepmum came with many emotional parental challenges i have drawn a lot out of my relationship with hayden one that i m blessed continues to grow i read the other day that playing with children is one way to recover from trauma that has been true for me children bring a lot of curiosity fun and richness to life hayden is now growing up and i miss his younger days when he couldn t yet read and write and the time we spent bonding playing i made so much time and energy for him back then and cannot be more thankful that i seized those opportunities some windows of opportunity close quickly now i am pregnant with a baby boy and my world is yet again about to change i never knew pregnancy could be such a big and overwhelming experience it is it made me contemplate my life my upbringing the completely different future my son is going to have compared to my past to the added layer of complexity new children bring to our family structure how is my son going to understand family many of these aspects are loaded with emotion uncertainty and a degree of anxiety i am already practically a mum but it is emotional to think that now i m going to find out what it really is like to be a real mum how strange it is that i m preparing for my first pregnancy but also reading books like coping with two having been through the exhausting rigmarole of raising a baby my husband said he only wanted one more child when we got married but he s started talking differently these days it made me cry when he said my love for you and my heart for you can just see you thriving in having a large family it s funny how life can change chris and hayden make a lot of intentional effort to show me appreciation and love anyway and i am very blessed to have that i have no doubt parenting will be a rewarding journey and we will find our way forward but at the same time i cannot help but feel so much about what every family member might be going through in a blended family and the place i arrive at is that life can bring heartbreak and disappointment some feel it more than others but everyone needs to face them and how you react and process them can determine how your self and future outlook are shaped share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading related comments rss feed leave a comment δ breathing space flowers celebrating a first birthday copywriting translation work twitter tweets by jasmineyow publications behind that shiny resume get behind that shiny resume on amazon google no instagram images were found read my story recent posts on newborns and grace 2020 on wealth parenting gratitude dream houses and aspirations celebrating a first birthday end of year reflections top posts pages the paradox of stepmotherhood blog at wordpress com back to top comment reblog subscribe subscribed through my eyes join 219 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy through my eyes subscribe subscribed sign up log in copy shortlink report this content view post in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar d design a site like this with wordpress com get started