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Text of the page (random words):
ll need extra patience and love as the lord heals the wounds of his past so what does cocooning look like for the timmer family in these first weeks home we ll stay home with theo as much as possible attempting to create an environment that is calm predictable and comforting i do not know exactly how long this will last adoption experts suggest one month of cocooning for every year the child spends in an orphanage so that would be 2 months in our situation we plan to be pretty strict in our cocooning practices for the first 2 3 weeks then to slowly widen theo s world by introducing close family and friends in small groups at a time and venturing out of the house for errands shopping church etc cocooning looks like this we ll avoid parties and large gatherings when we do return to church we won t put theo in the nursery for quite some time we ll introduce new people in moderation and only when he is comfortable with us when we introduce new people we ll do so in small groups of one or two only josh and i will pick up hold hug or kiss theo in the beginning these displays of affection are reserved for josh and i this will last for much longer than 2 months possibly the first year i plan to re evaluate every few months only josh or i should give things to theo especially food this will also last for months only josh or i should meet theo s needs baths putting him to bed change diapers etc and again this will continue long after we return to life as normal this all might sound over protective or paranoid but please understand that we re following the advice of adoption professionals experts and medical doctors we want nothing more than for you to be able to hug and love on theo the way we have your own kids and the way you love on giselle we just need to give time for this most important relationship the one he has with josh and i to form a solid foundation we are incredibly blessed to have such a supportive and loving family and community around us if you have any questions about the attachment process or this season of cocooning please don t hesitate to ask and continue to lift us all up in your prayers we love you all so much comments leave a comment categories uncategorized getting theo home 9 nov as of 4 30am this morning we have officially cleared embassy this means we can make our visa interview appointment and book tickets to bring theo home huge praise to our awesome god our original plan was to fly back to ethiopia and bring theo home i was going to bring my sister and josh planned to stay home with giselle we thought it would be less disruptive for her if only one parent was gone for the 2nd trip and better for all of us if both josh and i weren t jetlagged after arriving home with theo well our plans have changed a little ok a lot and god has woven together a truly unexpected and beautiful story to bring theo home our dear friend marcy connett will be flying theo from addis ababa to washington dc on friday i will fly to dc meet them at the airport and fly home with theo to seattle marcy and her husband along with their two teenage children are missionaries in addis they have been in ethiopia for about 15 months i spent a lot of time with marcy while i was in ethiopia and talked with her almost every day while i was there she was a great support and encouragement to me while i was there having theo escorted to the usa was not my original plan or something i ever considered before last week to be honest i wasn t thrilled with the idea and had many mixed feelings at first it was something our agency suggested because of the unique circumstances of our case a very long first trip to ethiopia a very short amount of time between the two trips and a young needy bio child at home who can t possibly understand what is going on and why her mommy keeps leaving her giselle stayed with my parents for two weeks while we were in ethiopia and for the most part did wonderfully during that time we did not communicate directly with giselle at all i talked with my mom almost daily and giselle got to see pictures of josh and i with theo but we all felt it would be too confusing and disruptive for giselle if we tried to talk with her while we were away in addition my parents don t have reliable internet and neither did i so using skype or facetime while in country would have been difficult although giselle did pretty great while i was gone she has really struggled since i got back she s been incredibly needy clingy and whiny i know that if i left again after such a short time being home and i d be gone for almost 1 week she would be legitimately traumatized add to that my stress level being jetlagged and the addition of a scared needy and sick newly adopted son an already difficult adjustment period would be compounded 10 fold theo is going to need a lot of extra attention and care when he comes home and i need giselle to be as secure and well adjusted as possible it was hard for me to let go of the things i would miss out on by not taking the second trip visiting ethiopia one more time saying a final goodbye to the nannies at theo s transition home seeing our agencies staff once again i got to spend a lot of time in that beautiful country and that makes me both want to go back there and also not want to travel that far from home again any time soon i also want to be a part of every single piece of this process because it is our son s story including another grueling trip there and back to bring him home while at the same time i know our case is unique and i need to make a decision that is going to be the best for our family as a whole in the long run fully rest mommy vs jet lagged stressed out emotionally drained mommy well adjusted bio toddler ready to welcome baby brother home vs super freaked out bio toddler because her mommy keeps leaving her and can t understand why etc etc i ve spoken with many other adoptive parents and asked them for advice on this decision the feedback has been unanimous having a close friend escort theo to dc is a fantastic option and a huge blessing for our family many of these moms have also told me that no real and beneficial attachment bonding happened on the 2nd trip because it is such a stressful time for everyone involved this feedback has really helped to calm my heart all things considered god has given us the most perfect escort situation as soon as marcy heard that my agency suggested an escort to fly theo home she enthusiastically volunteered herself she has also been able to visit theo at his transition home a few times so he will be familiar with her for the flight home such a blessing her mom left yesterday to visit marcy s family in ethiopia and drove right past my house on her way to the airport i was able to give her a box of things for theo and marcy s trip home clothes toys snacks and other travel essentials the timing of everything has worked out perfectly all evidence of god s handiwork we are looking at flights right now we ve requested a thursday visa appointment at the embassy and are hoping for marcy and theo to leave ethiopia on friday nov 13th depending on what time their flight arrives in dc i might have to spend one night there with theo before flying to seattle regardless he should be home by sunday nov 15th i ll post the exact time we fly into seatac when we have our itinerary all our friends and family are invited to meet us at the airport and welcome us home comments 1 comment categories uncategorized dear theo 2 oct dear theo in exactly two weeks i m going to get on a plane fly across the world and set foot in the country that has been your home for almost 2 years your first home but not your forever home i have wanted you for so long i ve wanted you for longer than i ve wanted anything else that i can remember i wanted you before i wanted to marry your daddy i wanted you before i wanted to go to college or play soccer or have a career as a pastor missionary or teacher i even wanted you before i wanted your older sister shhh don t tell her i said that you were one of the first things that i knew i really wanted someday when you re a wide eyed 8 year old and you tell me about a dream god has put in your heart i ll believe you i won t doubt it for a second i ll hang on every word because that s how old i was when god put a dream about adopting you in my heart about a month ago i found out you were really sick too weak to eat so we made sure you were admitted to the hospital there were oceans in between us and i grieved for all that you had already lost and all the times you needed a mommy by your side but i wasn t there i wondered if i would lose you before i even had a chance to meet you and it kept me awake a night for weeks sitting by your hospital bedside seemed to be the only acceptable and most impossible solution in that situation i think about you all the time many thoughts and feelings run through my heart and mind one that repeatedly slices through my consciousness is surrender to love at first i thought it was meant for you it has been my prayer for you that you would surrender to love to our love and to the great love that called you before the foundations of the world i know it will be hard to accept our love you ll be scared and confused and unable to trust us at first because of all you ve already lost but over time i pray you will lean into us and little by little surrender to all that love has to offer you surrender to love that is my prayer for you but now i m realizing that it is meant for me as well as i anticipate your homecoming i feel a loss of control my life is about to change forever and i have no idea what it is going to look like i can already feel normalcy slipping away i feel an acute sense of powerlessness yet with every anxious and panicked thought god whispers back surrender to love surrender to all the heights and depths that this path of love has ahead of us surrender fully press in sink deep get swept away surrender to the overwhelming take everything you ve got in over your head deeply sacrificial never give up commitment it takes to love an orphan i have the perfect example because this is how god has loved me it s hard to believe that i ll be meeting you face to face in only two weeks 24 years ago god wove adoption into my heart 4 years and 7 months ago we sent the first email that started this whole process now one of the most anticipated days of my life is barely over a dozen days away i feel excited i feel anxious i feel scared i feel giddy i feel expectant i feel nervous i feel overwhelmed there s a millions things i want you to know right now and never forget i pray that each day you re in this family you will understand more and more that you are a gift of god you were given by god you are desired you were asked for you were prayed for you are highly valued you are a dream come true you are full of promise you are constantly thought about you are not a mistake you are not forgotten you are ached for you are a treasure and you re so stinking cute let s surrender to love together yours forever mom comments leave a comment categories uncategorized sweet theo goes back to the o 17 sep hello village i apologize for the radio silence i have been so overwhelmed and have not had the emotional or mental energy to sit down and write about what s going on this is a stressful season for sure remodeling the garage to create more living space for our family my growing and very busy etsy business potty training giselle navigating all the typical boundary testing and tantrums that come from having a 2 yr old feisty female preparing to travel to ethiopia preparing to bring theo home trying to anticipate what his health needs will be and how we will pay for that bracing myself for cocooning and how theo s arrival will affect giselle etc etc but more than all these things combine the most overwhelming aspect of all of this is living each day with the fact that my child is in another country in harm s way and there is nothing i can do about it it s a very crippling feeling yes i know god is in control yes i know he is in god s hands but that does not erase the fact that my son has experienced major loss trauma and severe malnutrition it is a fact that he has and is suffering i trust and believe god is good and in control but that doesn t mean bad things aren t happening to my child god will carry us all through and i have no doubt that he will be glorified in the process but it still hurts a lot i lose sleep over this reality every single night nevertheless it s so important to me to keep a current journal of every step of this process we document our pregnancies so well and i want the story of theo s journey into our family to be documented and remembered even the painful parts as most of you know we were very concerned about theo s health after we saw some photos of him at the end of july the first week of august he was taken to a pediatric clinic and examined by a doctor here s the quick facts he was brought to the pommy clinic in addis by our agency representative and examined by the doctor in early august and diagnosed with acute severe malnutrition the doctor prescribed a strict high nutrient feeding schedule and said that he needed to be brought to a feeding center which is the technical term for an orphanage in other words theo was so severely malnourished that the doctor did not realize he already was living in a feeding center ahh theo was admitted to the pommy clinic the pediatric hospital that is run by the doctor my agency uses in ethiopia and hooked up to a feeding tube right away he was too weak and listless to eat and the nannies at his orphanage told my agency rep he won t eat anymore we try but he won t eat the doctor didn t want to fight him to take a bottle so they put him on a feeding tube right away i think he was only on the feeding tube for maybe one or two days because a couple days after he was admitted to the hospital i got pictures of him with an empty bottle next to him he weighed 14 7 lbs at 21 5 months when he was admitted to the hospital he cannot walk stand or crawl that i know of and looked too weak to sit up without assistance he stayed in the hospital aug 20 sept 4 we wanted him to stay longer but the doctor felt like he should release theo back to the orphanage to make room for sicker children to be admitted to the clinic i understand but i was really bummed about this while in the hospital he received lots of food and 24 7 care from his own personal nanny that was hired by my agency the change we saw in him was dramatic food and love can do a lot within just a couple days in the hospital he was cuddling with his nanny smiling strong enough to eat on his own and gaining weight he gained 3 3 lbs while in the hospital and weighed 17lbs when he went back to the orphanage on sept 4 pictures and videos from his last week in the hospital show him smiling reaching for things comfortably sitting up on his own an...