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jennrabbitt a fine wordpress com site a fine wordpress com site search jennrabbitt about awakened woman be patient 18 feb awakened woman be patient comments leave a comment categories uncategorized nightfall 12 sep i dread the arrival of nightfall the expectation of it all deep true unavoidable love reaches for me as i repel it completely with no effort whatsoever comments leave a comment categories uncategorized ego love 12 sep my ego screams in the face of love s pure light that is not enough i need more so love being love takes her in her arms like a belligerent child and holds her until she calms love always wins comments leave a comment categories uncategorized dichotomy in me 21 jul and it comes out of nowhere that hollow heavy cloudy lack of everything feeling it consumes me it shuts me down the bleakness encompasses my entire being makes me doubt makes me forget who i am i know however that this feeling wont last forever it never does though it threatens to but then when i ve almost surrendered something magical happens a spark a beam and then the light comes pouring back in and my heart and soul fill with it and i am grateful and i am joyful and i believe and i remember i m so thankful for the relief the light so thankful that i thank the dark thank you empty heavy cloudy lack of everything feeling for without you i wouldnt know the joy of being blinded by love comments 1 comment categories uncategorized a little jen spective 5 jul time goes by you learn you grow you realize one thing i realize lately is that silence is most often the best weapon in your arsenal when you find yourself in a disagreement about anything important or otherwise first of all the people who would benefit most by the opening of their conditioned under exercised little minds to another point of view simply can not handle the truth their lives just would not make the same comfortable kind of sense if they begin to comprehend a different perspective secondly it turns out your example has so much more power than the words you use to explain yourself words are powerful in their own right but are often misconstrued and tend to take on different meanings altogether when passed through different filters plus people become confused frustrated and sometimes belligerent when you start talking over their heads and third the more life i live and the more i allow new perspectives to shape my experience the less i care about your ability to understand me if i have to work that hard i d rather just go hang out with someone else call me lazy arguing is a waste of time and energy you can have your point and i ll keep mine comments leave a comment categories uncategorized the same 27 jan if you see me today you will fall in love with me you will be mesmerized by my being because today i remember who i am and i am here for you to notice so that you might remember also you and i we are the same comments 1 comment categories uncategorized hello 2013 31 dec i ve never been much of a new years resolution maker partly because i consider myself a rebel of such traditions partly because i just didnt want to work that hard 2012 breezed in kind of unceremoniously but has etched itself into the story of my life as a year of enormous change rude awakenings and the most perfect moments i decided that a year like this one has been deserved to be ushered out a little more ceremoniously than it came in to rebel against my status quo rebelliousness and make myself a list one of the things i have learned in 2012 is that dreams come true but you gotta decide what it is you re dreaming the universe does pretty well when left on her own but throw a little intention in and watch the magic happen resolutions for 2013 1 to start this year i will believe in the impossible because in 2012 i learned that nothing is 2 this year i intend to remember who i am since i had forgotten for so long 3 to dream bigger than the most gifted dreamers 4 to define my life in my own terms it is mine after all 5 to write often it frees me 6 to listen more 7 to speak well thought out words and not waste my time or breath on anything less constructive than kind hearted but otherwise seemingly pointless small talk 8 to smell the roses the coffee and everything in between 9 to look at every situation as an opportunity for something amazing 10 to give myself back to the world whole heartedly to lift her up and make her better for letting me occupy space here 11 the perfect number of anything to love everything happy new year life love to everyone and everything comments 1 comment categories uncategorized why you have to be crazy to win big elite daily 23 nov why you have to be crazy to win big elite daily comments leave a comment categories uncategorized what do you want 27 oct what do you want ive been asked that question numerous times in my life by my parents teachers employers friends and lovers its a question i always evaded the reasons why i ve only begun to understand as a young girl i don t remember having dreams goals for my life or visions for my future the world seemed so dull and colorless i was the first of six children raised in the most normal least traumatic of ways isolated from the world in a tiny town in that role i surmised it to be easier to go with the flow for there was always a younger less reasonable personality that had needs surpassing my own the path of least resistance just following along voiceless was simply easy and i didn t know any different i never realized it was okay to have a voice or an opinion as i grew older i reasoned that not making any waves was the best way to get through life i never thought to ask myself what it was i desired for myself what would bring me joy or even contentment it seemed like too much trouble and it might just piss somebody off people get used to getting their own way once the people in your life know you as the agreeable one they apply a good amount of resistance to keep you right where you are so most of my life i struggled with the darkness that i mentioned in an earlier post that closes in on you when you aren t living your truth only it was not until lately that i became aware of why it was there a few weeks ago i was asked point blank by a new friend who are you and in a later conversation what do you want it was just then that i began to entertain the notion that there may actually exist an answer to those questions then as i began to form my answers i realized that the avoidance of my truth was what caused the depression that took too many of my days in searching for these answers i ve begun to find a comforting inner peace and joy i never imagined possible marianne williamson said our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure i know that fear it keeps you from having everything you were meant to have guess what i m not afraid anymore comments 2 comments categories uncategorized birthdays 25 sep birthdays are a fitting time it seems to reflect on a life check in see how you re doing to ask yourself is this the life i was created to have or is there something else i can do looking back on 44 years woah where has the time gone i see a life filled with its share of ups and downs blessings like an amazing family and friends curses like the depression that has lingered in the backdrop of my life occasionally rising to the forefront and seemingly deterring my plans for carefree happiness i am extra grateful for the people who have loved me during the times when i could not love myself they were the buoys that kept me from drowning in the depths of a sadness that never really had a rhyme or reason never did i imagine that i d ever actually be able to be grateful for the depression itself but recently i ve been enlightened to the fact that my melancholy has been the catalyst for a journey to peace and joy that surely i d have not travelled willingly without the endless searching therapy books and more books medication and more recently more books and meditation have brought me to a higher plane a place where i can look down and appreciate the darkness for without it i d not know the brilliance of the light that surrounds every moment of my life at present so as i turn 44 in just under an hour i thank you family thank you friends thank you darkness i am grateful for you and this life far from over and full of promise happy birthday to me comments 1 comment categories uncategorized older entries archives february 2015 september 2014 july 2013 january 2013 december 2012 november 2012 october 2012 september 2012 categories uncategorized meta create account log in entries feed comments feed wordpress com blog at wordpress com jennrabbitt blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed jennrabbitt sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy jennrabbitt subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email required name 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