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description=Healing and Spirituality is a blog where I reflect on the joys and challenges of my life after dealing with clergy abuse. In it, I write about my own learning, share interviews with fellow advocates for healing and spiritual vitality, and address occasional societal issues. It is also a place for you to share what s working-or not working-in your own healing and spiritual journey. Learning together, we can more effectively be the change we wish to see in the world.;

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other aspect of society business government non profit a continuing crisis of this magnitude certainly would have brought reform but here s the rub the church is radically different than every other aspect of our society it s the world s only global monarchy in the united states other secular or even religious institutions must respond to crisis or die but not the catholic church only 5 6 bishops have ever been forced out of office because of the crisis and four of them stepped aside within the last few weeks in ireland otherwise there s not a bishop in the world who drives a smaller car takes fewer vacations does his own laundry or has experienced any real consequences for covering up child sex crimes so the bottom line is this those in decision making capacities in the church hierarchy have no incentive to reform in fact they often see colleagues who have ignored or hidden child molestation getting promoted and they see the extremely rare courageous whistleblower like tom doyle getting ostracized so the lesson priests and bishops learn is sad but clear do what we ve always done and you re at worse safe or at best rewarded so not only have church officials not reformed but they will probably never reform our challenge then is to help people understand that the alleged reforms adopted in 2002 in the us are largely unenforced and unenforceable window dressing nothing more finally another challenge is to help non catholic spiritual figures avoid complacency and help allegedly non hierarchical denominations like the baptists realize they can and must do more to protect kids jr what has been the impact on you over the years as a result of your advocacy dc i m a healthier happier and i think a more compassionate person whenever someone thanks me i almost always respond you re welcome but you should know that this helps me as much or more than it helps you my involvement in snap has been a life saver for me and led me to a much more fulfilling peaceful life i ve become more pessimistic than ever about institutions reforming themselves especially ancient rigid secretive powerful all male monarchies at the same time though i ve become more optimistic about the willingness and ability of abuse victims to speak up take action heal themselves and protect others jr at several events i have seen you wear a photo of yourself at the time of your abuse around your neck i know that many survivors do that and some prefer not to do that what is the value for you or for these conversations in wearing that photo dc here s a secret my real reason for carrying the photo is to show people that although i m ugly now you said it brother i once was cute ok all kidding aside i think it s crucial that people remember and clearly see that although some of us may present ourselves as somewhat competent adults now when we were assaulted we were innocent vulnerable confused helpless kids and it s crucial that people understand that we re not just fighting for healing and justice for ourselves but for safer and healthier lives for children jr snap began with a focus on catholic priests or leaders because you barbara blaine and others were abused by priests is the reality that religious authority sexual abuse is pervasive in all religious groups what have been some of your experiences and lessons learned in working with others from other faith traditions dc just to be clear barbara started snap almost single handedly i m grateful i ve been with the group for 20 years but she deserves all the credit for launching this outstanding organization both abuse and cover up are found in every religious group a huge reason for that is structural in public entities there are at least a some rules around disclosure and b some checks and balances with a school district for instance one can file freedom of information act requests that militate against unhealthy secrecy and one can defeat corrupt school board members in elections but many denominations lack these simple healthy common sense safeguards working with activists in other faiths has been tremendously rewarding and enlightening for me whether it s rev marie fortune or christa brown stopbaptistpredators org or julie hokinson snappresbyterian christa has been particularly heroic and helps me remember that in many respects those abused by baptists face an even tougher road than those of who have been molested by catholics finally some non catholic religious leaders when confronted about recklessness deceit or callousness in child sex cases eventually defend themselves by claiming well at least we re not as terrible as the bishops that s ridiculous of course the standard for spiritual figures must at least be what would any decent person do in this situation not let s look at what catholic bishops do and do just a tad more or better jr what do you think have been some of the most significant developments in preventing and ending religious authority sexual abuse in the u s in the past 10 years dc tough question certainly snap s growth and maturation has been significant because thousands have been empowered to start healing expose pedophiles change laws educate others and safeguard kids the painstaking work of investigative journalists starting with the boston newspapers of course has been very significant because it has finally helped millions shed their illusions about church hierarchies the belated and largely still timid response of police and prosecutors has been significant because in a very real sense it has taken some predator priests away from kids and put them in jail the involvement of more lay people in exposing cover ups and protecting kids is significant especially through groups like voice of the faithful call to action and others because it shows lay people that they aren t powerless it should be noted that much took place in the 1980s and 1990s that was significant and deserves honor few of us ever acknowledge the pioneering reporting done long before 2002 by journalists like jason berry gerry renner tom fox marie rohde and tom roberts and others their ground breaking work has enabled millions to better understand and further expose the hierarchy s complicity likewise few of us even know about much less appreciate the many brave survivors who went public before 2002 notably ryan dimaria the gauthe victims the porter victims the kos victims and others they were and are significant because they paved the way for so many of us who came later and helped make citizens and catholics start looking beyond boston and start realizing this is a truly global crisis jr can you comment on progress at the international level dc it s extraordinarily and painstakingly slow and requires even more courage and persistence than we in the us have shown and are showing in most countries religious figures enjoy a much more exalted status than here in the us so abuse and cover up are much more likely and many nations have less aggressive journalism a less independent judiciary less well funded law enforcement and fewer legal options for victims that makes combating abuse exposing predators protecting kids and personal recovery much much more difficult in the us for decades we somehow looked at each case that did publicly surface as an aberration gosh look there s a bad priest in peoria a couple of weeks ago there was one in idaho we d think finally in the early 1990s we started to realize hey there are a lot of these guys and their bosses the bishops don t seem to care or do much then the fr james porter case made national headlines bishops pledged reform and sadly we slipped back into the naïve comfortable but reckless assumption that things were pretty much getting better finally in 2002 many understood that this is a systemic on going crisis or scandal that s truly widespread i bring this up because we re making the same mistake now on a global level boy did you hear about the problems they re having with clergy sex abuse and cover up in ireland one person might say and the other person responds wasn t there some of that in austria or italy a while back too but we just have to bite the bullet and accept this sad simple fact abuse and cover up are in every diocese in every corner of the world and more extensive than we ll ever come close to knowing not were but are in any organization that excessively values loyalty and promotes clericalism and hoards power and lacks oversight predators will hurt kids and supervisors will respond callously we ve got to stop asking ourselves gee i wonder why the church hierarchy in this country or that country is so corrupt and accept the fact that it s corrupt across the board that realization is the first real step toward progress jr i m particularly interested in how you describe your spiritual life at this point can you say a little about what your spiritual life means to you now dc i have no spiritual life and haven t for years i m an agnostic some days regrettably so other days less so to put it bluntly i have no idea what if anything happens after death or what a creator may want of us but it s crystal clear to me that right here and now people are in pain and need consolation and kids are at risk and need protection the anniversary of my death a poem by w s merwin probably best sums up my spiritual leanings or belief jr was there a significant time or event or decision that helped you to shift from being a survivor to what i call a thriver a co creator of her life environment and by extension the world dc you flatter me but in a nutshell i attribute whatever growth or shift i ve experienced to my incredible wife tons of therapy joining snap and filing litigation it feels like every forward step i ve ever taken has been because some loving person was behind me nudging me and another loving person was ahead of me and guiding me filing my lawsuit helped show me that i m not a powerless kid any more talking about the abuse helped me feel less dirty i talk about it openly now because i ve found that the less i act ashamed the less i feel ashamed my first support group meeting was a huge breakthrough because i finally couldn t deny the simple fact that if the folks in this room weren t to blame for their victimization i m not to blame for mine and hearing from janet and horace patterson was a turning point for me at that juncture i really was ready to give up but hearing and feeling their pain and later seeing their courage really enabled me to commit to this struggle for the long haul jr what do you imagine could be the best thing that could happen related to preventing and ending child sexual abuse csa that s a broad question so how about for survivors to do and for non abused people in society to do dc let s start with the easy common sense steps we can all stop rewarding criminal and near criminal behavior let s rescind honors to predators and enablers in st louis we have a public park named after a priest ousted because he sexually harassed underlings in toledo there s a street named after a monsignor who blocked a murder probe in wyoming a wing of a children s home is named after a bishop against whom five child sex abuse lawsuits have been settled this callousness deters victims witnesses whistleblowers young and old from speaking up exposing predators and protecting kids why bother saying anything no one will believe me or do anything and it rubs more salt into the already deep and still fresh wounds of suffering victims and betrayed church goers let s also stop promoting the corrupt in rome the poster child for self serving arrogant and deceitful bishops cardinal law enjoys a position of vast power and prestige an auxiliary bishop harshly criticized in the philadelphia grand jury report joseph cistone was recently promoted to run his own diocese a complicit louisville auxiliary bishop has just been elevated to run the owensboro diocese if the callous or corrupt are promoted and praised they will be emulated next let s put our money where our mouths are and stop supporting corruption we have so little power it seems to me so why give money to institutions that endanger kids when you can give to ones that protect kids why squander what little you have why if you re upset at what s happening do you keep supporting what s happening with your money next let s get brutal with those who suspect or see or know of child sex crimes but stay silent that s how to show we re serious about kids safety and how we deter callousness and complicity i m morally opposed to the death penalty but even if we executed child molesters we d still have child molesters the threat of execution i believe doesn t and won t ever deter compulsive driven predators on the other hand though the threat of a mandatory five years behind bars or similar penalties may well make a timid teacher call the child abuse hotline about a colleague to me this is just common sense these mandated reporter laws are commonplace but rarely enforced and carry very lenient sentences finally and perhaps most important let s reform or eliminate the archaic arbitrary predator friendly statues of limitations that give criminals and their accomplices incentives to intimidate victims threaten witnesses destroy evidence fabricate alibis hide wrongdoing and run out the clock then keep hurting others keep in mind the root cause of the crisis the virtually limitless power of bishops and the structural inability of institutions to reform themselves given these two facts it s crucial that we increase the role of the time tested open impartial justice system both criminal and civil to catch wrongdoers more quickly and to deter wrongdoing more effectively on our website there s a very specific list of about 20 others ways people can help http www snapnetwork org links_homepage wanna_make_difference htm jr what or who inspires you as you continue to work to end csa dc since day one i literally felt thrilled every time a survivor gave a media interview pursued criminal charges filed a civil lawsuit starting going to therapy or disclosed to his or her family honestly that thrill has barely diminished over the years i still often get goosebumps when a survivor tells me i bought the courage to heal today or i called and made an appointment with the sex crimes detective or i told my husband last night specifically christa brown inspires me i just can t imagine a more recalcitrant church hierarchy than the southern baptists i ve seen baptist officials be stunningly cruel to her in person and in print yet she soldiers on with class and compassion against phenomenal odds and relentless opposition somehow there s virtually no bitterness in her which astounds me if you aren t familiar with her blog you should check it out stopbaptistpredators org barbara blaine inspires me no matter how tired or busy or dispirited we are her default setting is permanently on let s do it and so often we push beyond what we ever thought we could do and the results a...