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Text of the page (random words):
john k pitch blog skip to main skip to sidebar john k pitch blog wednesday february 22 2012 demo toy free bags for macintosh and windows posted by johnk at 9 58 am no comments labels toys friday november 4 2011 thing in progress click them to turn them around http johnkstuff blogspot com 2011 07 messin around with my new toy html http johnkstuff blogspot com 2008 04 wally man made of skin and pink html http johnkstuff blogspot com 2008 04 goofy gremlins in color html http johnkstuff blogspot com 2008 04 fump pics html kids love to collect cheap toys posted by johnk at 5 07 pm no comments labels toys wednesday june 9 2010 he hog and villains he hog s powers and weakness he hog s secret identities professor mole mikey mantid the doomsday machine he hog the movie links to stories and stuff http johnkstuff blogspot com 2006 02 calling all kids he hog atomic pig html http johnkpitch blogspot com 2007 10 he hogs comic book world secret html http johnkpitch blogspot com 2007 10 he hogs secret headquarters html http johnkpitch blogspot com 2007 10 bottled city of human women html posted by johnk at 12 11 pm 3 comments labels he hog thursday april 29 2010 the he hog movie with professor mole professor mole and his evil insect bmf threaten armageddon the brain that punished a planet this is professor mole s brain it is packed with dangerous ideas moles grow on it in front of our very eyes they devour his thoughts causing his scalp to tingle with a burning urgency too intense for our puny imaginations to contemplate this is professor mole owner of the brain the professor is quiveringly deranged but not technically evil he just has a burning brain that hungers to tamper with god s laws professor mole is so hideous that he is shunned by society and must conduct his awesome experiments in a hidden basement laboratory the basement is putrid with dank mold and creeping things of a lower order mikey mantid mikey is a praying mantis who lives in the basement of the same tenement building as professor mole the professor dicovers him one day hovering in the dank shadows to mole s surprise mikey is not afraid of the professor s deeply ugly countenance the professor befriends mikey and feeds him mikey is professor mole s only friend unlike his kindly master mikey is truly evil mole blinded by his love for mikey unwittingly commits unspeakable atrocities on mankind ask about feeding time if you dare posted by johnk at 9 27 am no comments labels he hog friday november 20 2009 meeting the heartaches he hog the atomic pig kaspar the unfriendly bear kaspar pilot story more kaspar storyboards repackaging classic cartoons and adding new wraparounds and cartoons toys and cartoons combined retro idea spumco action toys and cartoons spumco toys posted by johnk at 7 24 am no comments labels he hog heartaches kaspar friday september 25 2009 kaspar pilot kaspar wakes up with a particularly irritating bullet in his eye one morning and decides to write a letter i know you did it outline by tom minton kaspar the thwarter of urges a wonderful morning letter a nice day in the forest beautiful flowers kaspar sits looking thoughtful we reveal he s writing a letter as the sun slowly rises i just thought i d write and tell you exactly what i think about you you reprehensible piece of gutter trash oh and say hi to dad hate your only son kaspar p s why aren t you dead yet time to get busy kaspar folds letter puts it in envelope and shouts for a mail bird who quickly flies in kaspar hands bird the letter ok fly bird exits kaspar shoots bird o s then stretches yawning time to get busy a bastard s work is never done kaspar sniffs the air grinning picking up a familiar scent he moves o s a beat and we pan over to ext rangers latest weird forest dwelling truck in and cut rangers living space the rangers malinyski and little horst click on the light illuminating the inside of their little place they have just moved in to this their latest spot to evade kaspar they are getting up kaspar was here underpants crisis little horst dons his underwear but his briefs won t stay up he finds the elastic has been pulled out of the waistband hey what s wrong with my underwear he grabs another pair this pair is ruined too ranger malinyski horst s dad pulls on a sock with each hand only to find the toes ripped out by something large and sharp my socks who could possibly do such a thing we pan over to window revealing kaspar s large head and eyes looking in as he chortles to himself then kaspar ducks out of sight rangers urges little horst convulsively sneezes and asks why did i do that daddy malinyski answers son it s time i told you about human instincts he explains how humans behave instinctively but kaspar is always there to thwart their every natural urge that s why god created urges they look at a list of human urges on the fridge and decide to spend a quality father and son day following their natural instincts little horst is ecstatic he crams the sneezed material back in his nose and follows his dad day of following urges in the forest malinysky and little horst take a frolicking stroll through the woodlands eager to act upon their natural urges kaspar is hiding behind every tree and bush ready to fulfill his ecological role as the thwarter of natural instincts after all what good is an instinct unless there is something to thwart it urinal thwart the rangers stand atop pee valley to release an urge but are stopped in their tracks by a sign ordering them not to use the urinal kaspar takes a break from thwarting instincts repast kaspar decides to take a lunch break he approaches a tree and forces it to give its nest the tree produces a large wasp s nest and kaspar removes wilber he whacks it and wilbur the wasp rolls out groggily rubbing his head kaspar grabs wilbur and unscrews his stinger pouring ukrainian honey onto a slice of white toast kaspar tells wilbur he s one drop short and to make sure he collects enough pollen tomorrow but not to slack off on his stinging of people wilbur flies off and we hear someone o s scream kaspar smiles the big instinct parasites malinyski takes advantage of kaspar s lunch break he follows an urge to happily scratch his bodily parasites but poor little horst can t join in he s not itchy today because his parasite has died a moral quandary little horst asks his dad if he can have one of his malinyski thinks hard but just can t part with his tapeworm it s been with him so long now kaspar s office we see kaspar s father s gigantic mounted and stuffed foot in the center of a clearing with a door in it this is kaspar s office adjacent to a tall tree with a crow s nest lookout at the very top on lookout kaspar watching tv monitor the lookout sees something pointing an archaic tv camera to something o s kaspar watches lookout s view on an ancient black and white tv with rabbit ears he sees the tiny figures of the rangers climbing up mountain human rangers are migratory but these two encroach on animal territories where they must not bloodsucker dell parasite falls parasite falls is fed by a melting glacier the glacier is stuffed with ancient parasites that fed on dinosaurs and long extinct creatures as the ice melts the horrific paleozoic parasites sail down the river to feed on life forms much more evolved than their original hosts braving impossible terrain the rangers finally reach their geographic goal a magnificent natural tableau with the fabled river of parasites revealed to be barren kaspar has beaten them to the punch sitting there stuffing the last parasite into his ear for himself malinyski looks dejected but little horst s urges are driving him crazy the kid can t hold his instincts much longer he is dying to be itchy kaspar chortles pleased with himself genuine heart as the rangers turn to leave they remember they have something for malinyski little horst hands him a homemade card in honor of national crab day this is the opposite of a valentine s day card kaspar looks at the card which says we hate you kaspar kaspar is touched he leans down and tells little horst you can have one of my parasites little horst is overjoyed vladimir speaks vlad the parasite remarks i always wanted a human host malinyski how does it feel son horst it really hurts malinyski great brief musical outro horst the human host is sung as the two rangers united by vladimir do a little limited animation walk to the beat of the music little horst at last feels with his newest and biggest parasite vladimir itchy enough to scratch last shot on kaspar _ crying kaspar proudly holds up his card they really hate me he grins in deep satisfaction a parasite filled tear dripping down his rough muzzle kaspar s dad is an orthodox ruthenian priest his mom is australia and only awakens every 100 years to check on her son to see if he needs a spanking kaspar enjoys dessert after causing mayhem and misery throughout the forest posted by johnk at 10 09 am 1 comment labels kraspar older posts home subscribe to posts atom raketu raketu fm zone contents labels george liquor stories 7 goofy gremlins 3 he hog 7 he hog backstory 3 heartaches 2 jkp 1 john k presents 1 kaspar 1 kraspar 5 mla 1 toys 2 wally whimsy 2 counter