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ackson filmscine kernel ketchup movierob prime six r l terry chinmaychawade danstanwritingblog shovel bee ordiway my questions star wars or star trek james bond ethan hunt or jason bourne cinema or netflix or other pray tell what s the most overrated thing in your opinion what s the most underrated thing in your opinion favorite artist or band cliché i know favorite actor actress cliché i know what s your best t v series right now don t be like me pick only one if you i don t know maybe got like marooned on a desert island with the choice of one only one movie to watch on loop for ever and ever what movie will it be if you could spend a day with any celebrity who will it be wait have you actually met one i have so yeah there you have it thanks again keith this was a lot of fun author uche categories movies musings posted on august 22 2016 november 1 2017 20 comments review suicide squad disclaimer the words fuck and shit will be used in this post a lot like a lot a lot you re upset you re try to angrily get a point across you try to keep it pg censoring stuff like and s t something of the sort not here it just doesn t cut it dc waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh executives and stuff at wb or whatever hey why you wailing bro dc you bastards you re asking me executives and stuff at wb or whatever yeah seriously what s the matter dc sob why can t i ever seem to catch a break huh sob executives and stuff at wb or whatever there there bro dc is it so hard for you idiots to just do your fucking jobs and get me into the elite billion dollar superhero movie league now that christopher nolan s out executives and stuff at wb or whatever really sorry about bvs bro dc those fucking critics sob executives and stuff at wb or whatever right isn t the bias just obvious now the other guy is paying them he has to be dc fix it executives and stuff at wb or whatever we can and we will you know there s this property we have that could actually save everything we re talking total rebranding and getting into a key market and all dc sniff what s this property executives and stuff at wb or whatever you know how the other guy a few years ago totally like shattered grounds and expanded his universe introducing this like totally fun new team of like antiheros doing cool shit dc yeah executives and stuff at wb or whatever well we gat something just like that and trust us this is the time total rebranding all dark but still fun we gonna do it we gonna back it up with the best marketing we gonna kill the shit with hype everybody will see it dc yeah really you re gonna do it right this time executives and stuff at wb or whatever yes dc sniff sniff sniff ok do it then please please don t let me down again guys just look at this didn t it seem dope at the time time any period between comic c0n 2015 and aug 5th 2016 inexcusable there s just no excuse period rewind to the 2015 comic con that trailer was released that trailer in all of its twisted hype inducing glory that trailer with all of its goosebump creating cues that trailer the kind of excited conjectures that filled my mind concerning the movie as 2016 started was unparalleled besides everything this could actually be the one that puts them out there i can t wait for august this could be the best dc movie ever just look at that trailer fucking shit and i mean as in actual poop this time dc pooped on me people it s not even funny anymore they just keep pissing and pooping on everybody man not cool there s almost a pattern now announce new movie create shudder inducing anticipation from fanboys release trailers run extensive marketing campaign to fluff all the nerdgasms release movie 26 on rotten tomatoes the entire world upset everybody covered in pee and poop repeat i ll personally like to know why they continue this cycle of building such voluminous levels of goodwill only to dash it with sub par stuff bro chill it s just a movie you re going overboard here whatever suicide squad was a fucking mess which shouldn t be a surprise if i m speaking based on what we should be coming to expect these days from dc is it possible to reach into a pile of shit and pull out say a tinsy bitsy diamond not unheard of but suicide squad was a big pile cesspit of shit nontheless shit that they just came and poured all over all of us i ll leave it at that for now and get to the synopsis superman got impaled right to the grave and everybody s like good riddance but then the powers that be are also like right now that there s no good ish elephant to trample on us the grass in the name of saving the world what happens when another elephant comes along one that s just straight up bad what s gonna stand in the way of them trampling us to shit enter amanda waller i wanna assemble a task force of some very bad people who i think can do some good anywho shorten the gist overlong i wanna be deep and give these characters some back story first act here s the joker s fried brain girlfriend wesley snipes i went there i m so sorry this guy with a facial tattoo right outta god knows who does like fire shit this other token aussie guy that throws boomerangs a voodoo monster witch inhabiting a supermodel eyebrows a crocodile etcetera they ll be led by this blander than bland token leader we ll put exploding chips in their brains and they ll be our minions facepalms oh well so voodoo monster witch goes rogue wrecks havoc creates some digusting underlings tears open a i don t even know lightening portal in the sky because this is a summer superhero movie and it s impossible for it to be any other way and yes the bad guys have to team up and be the heroes now oh and there s a few minutes of the joker sprinkled here and there never mind what all that marketing said marketing be damned head hurting instead of continuing this rant that seems to want to go on forever lemme just highlight all the reasons i hated suicide squad in a few rhetoric questions because i m not gonna bother being all roger ebert or whatever being all tame using big words seeing metaphors and talking deep professional critical shit how the fuck are a group of whacky misfits with no abilities except for say fire devil poop face supposed to be the best equipped team for a hula hooping voodoo monster witch that s tearing up the place stupid writing oh so dc s doing alien voodoo monster witches now all metaphysical please don t stab my heart and shit why the fuck was cara delevingne even making all those fucking twitchy movements like she was hula hooping fucking stupid villian character why the fuck were some characters even in this movie cough katana chick cough rick flag cough botched underdeveloped fucking nonsense the joker who heaven knows was so heavily promoted is barely even in the movie just shoe horned in so that fanboys can have the nerdgasm they paid for how fucking dare they think they can get away with false advertising how the fuck was the fucking waller woman not dead at the end of the movie i don t care about the one liner she had a fucking voodoo monster alien witch probe in her head this is just a few it can go on and i m sad i know in my tender lonely heart that i wanted suicide squad to be awesome the fact that the people behind the dc movies seem to think that they can put such a choppy bare bones manuscript together and pass it off as the crème de la crème is what makes me feel like they are getting pretty desperate in comparison with their counterparts and that makes me sad choppy is a key word saying the movie was incoherent and all over the place is an understatement the plot was thin and inorganic every fucking thing felt forced and act after act it dragged until the finale by which time the movie had become so consumed with being stupid that it couldn t be rescued the characters good lord the characters no words i ll leave it there with the negatives now the positives remember that tinsy bitsy diamond in the shit cesspool i metioned earlier this is it if there can ever be a reason to see this movie it ll be margot robbie her performance is something to behold in all of it s sexy insane glory she was perfectly cast and she weighed in all of her talent to create a character that just seemed to leap right out of the source material see it for will smith too because he s will smith because he got all the one liners and because his character was the only one they bothered trying to develop see it for the fun action sequences and the few jokes that managed to land if you bought a ticket for any summer movie you know you paid for the cheesy explosions and one liners and see it because we re all are still rooting for dc to come through suicide squad how you hurt me marvel i m not paying any critics i just make good movies it really is that easy morons author uche categories movies reviews posted on august 20 2016 june 26 2021 6 comments anger management disclaimer this is a waste of your time seriously get outta here close this and move on with your day as in i swear even i don t know how it got to this i m resorting to a personal frustration rant post fact you re better off doing literally anything else there are times that the anti creativity monster will just show up out of nowhere and massacre your muse instead of a nice feature rich blog you re now stuck with ideas that only sound cool in your head and an ever growing mausoleum of drafts that just aren t good enough you just know you ve got something to write but it s all buried deep under the fact that you re a procrastinating scaredy cat and that your creativity has been destroyed whether you re all deep and sensible with cool smart write ups or you re just this nerd with a bothering habit of venting off about everything the block will show up it s something that really frustrates me get it right this for all thoughts and purposes is a frustration rant post already established the level of conceit here is unprecedented and staggering i m physically upset my sister went all diet freak out of the blue demanded that this house better start eating healthy then single handedly took it upon herself to rid the place of all this junk now i m here wondering how i ve gone so long without pringles i m physically upset i went to see the conjuring 2 then this one scene came on where the lady was having a vision and then a demon freaking came out of a painting so i ran out of the theater this girl i was initially sitting next to who supposedly was my scream gasp cringe jump partner gave me this scrunched up nose stink eye combo like what guy on this earth bails from a movie because he was too terrified i know she looked at me like that it was dark and i couldn t see her face but i just know there s no excuse for me i m physically upset i got home and decided i must give myself a genuine scare to make up to compensate so i tuned in for friday fright but what was on was the blair witch project i m physically upset i changed the channel and i found something i did want to watch even if it was for the eleventh or so time it was a revered masterpiece from studio ghibli then my sister came wrestled the remote from me and tuned in to e i would ve wrestled the remote back but that would ve incited a prank war and i honestly couldn t spend the next day or two incapacitated because i somehow took an entire bottle of laxative so i sat up and went what the and she was like ain t nobody watching no spirited my ass anime crap with you i m physically upset that she said those words i went to my station and started to type this post with flared nostrils my sister came in and was like what is going on with you so i got right in her face screaming i m physically upset the world is f ked up everything s just f ked nb i wasn t referring to any of my personal frustrations so she told me to get out of her face and hit something already if it ll get me to feel better so i did i m physically upset i sprained my elbow swinging at pillows i m physically upset i was actually vain enough to go went through with posting this just shoot me author uche categories musings posted on june 21 2016 july 19 2016 1 comment review captain america civil war i ll start this straight off and point out that anyone that still disputes that disney s on a mega roll these days is imbecilic seriously go check the highest grossing movies of the year right this moment at least three at the top are from disney and besides that they own everything from star wars to the mcu to your cute wreck it ralph underwear i ll also start straight off and state the obvious that the last time i wrote anything on here was literally almost two months ago yeah seriously tho wad up wiv dat this ain t gun be one a those lame ass one post per month cripple blogs right of course not i got caught up won t happen again i promise ah shadap already anyone dat knows you knows you d sooner die than follow through on a promise carry on with your review whatever this is supposed to be ok so there s good superhero movies there s freaking awesome incomprehensibly mad superhero movies then there s maybe like the dark knight or something captain america civil war was was was ok i need help here i can t i just can t i ve once stated that nothing ever suprises me but then i m going whoa hol up hol up hol up after a movie so you should get what it means also you should believe me when i tell you there are rarely ever movies that are so good that i don t even know how to start writing about them i ve droned on about the impending superhero movie fatigue ranted about how the mcu was starting it s decline in hindsight i should think that was myopic of me because one thing is true if marvel continues to churn out movies the likes of captain america civil war then they will be here forever this is a fact it s simple give and take give us incredibly entertaining stuff like this and nobody s going anywhere nobody s getting tired it ll be taken for as long as it can be given to us wow i saw the movie more than three weeks ago and as much as i was on a fan high and wanted to just explode my thoughts everywhere i couldn t because i almost didn t know where to start i regret that because now this write up seems obsolete i type this still not knowing so i ll just blurt the ubiquitous question how the heck did they manage to pull off a movie with so many characters without it getting stupidly all over the place that s the question please answer it it astounds me they called it a captain america movie they were heinous liars this movie was a straight up avengers movie just without thor and the hulk literally everyone else and more was there literally everyone had something substantial to do how how did they make it work how did they pull it off the russo brothers anthony and joe have been there a while i m a big big fan of their work on the television shows arrested development and community they came in and did a tremendous job with captain america the winter soldier and i was like i don t know how th...