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as we were laughing and talking jai wandered over picked up a pea pod with great curiosity and asked what it was it is mattar my mother told him peas he wondered inside this he loved the fact that he could open the pod and find a treasure he opened one then another and another he sat still which in itself was an achievement he began to listen to us to ask questions some mothers like to color with their young children some read books some watch television i could never have imagined our time together would be used to shell peas once we were back in the states i searched supermarkets and farmers markets for peas in pods i rinsed them patted them dry and waited for 3 o clock so i could pick up jai from school and we could shell peas when pea pods were hard to find i cheated more than once passing off edamame as peas rarely were we able to eat the peas for dinner by the time jai s tiny fingers got them out of the pods they were too squished or had gone straight into his mouth i didn t care as long as we sat and shelled and talked we sat on the floor and started by sorting the pea pods his fingers working furiously to separate the little baby pods from the mother pods and the daddy pods some days we named the piles of pods for his school friends zack sam casey then we counted jai could count to 20 in hindi by then and finished counting in english on a few occasions we reached 30 together then came jai s favorite part the time for me to tell him stories in hindi we always started with the story of the witch the one who would come and make a home in your hair if you went out without drying it on a cold day the story would somehow segue into what buzz lightyear or spider man would do if he found this witch an interesting question since we could not find a bit of hair on either of their heads each story had a different ending depending on which action figure was stationed next to jai for the afternoon after the witch would come the story of an indian princess who lived in a golden castle i wanted it to end with her marrying a handsome prince my son however would add his 4 year old s spin and american viewpoints sometimes the princess would be a doctor usually a veterinarian and would end up marrying shrek other times the gentle princess would be transformed into a superhero and i was pleasantly challenged to come up with the hindi names for laser guns and robotic evildoers one day jai asked me mom apne kahania kaha see seekhi where did i learn the stories why from bahenjee of course by now jai knew that word meant older sister and his curiosity was piqued since i had no older sister she was not related to me i explained it was a term often used as a mark of respect for an older person a distant relative by marriage she lived in a quiet part of my dadi s house in delhi dadi my father s mother lived in what most people refer to as an indian bungalow that housed a joint family 14 people on an average day not including the various relatives who would show up out of the blue with her crooked teeth thinning white hair flowing white sari and shrill voice bahenjee lived on the fringes of dadi s household she had her own small area steel almirah or armoire charpai or cot and wildly painted and loud pictures of various gods on the mostly bare and peeling wall on a shelf were statues of gods incense sticks fresh jasmine flowers silver coins bahenjee generally rose at an ungodly hour 4 a m and did the work of an alarm clock for the house singing prayers tunelessly at the top of her voice ab who kaha hai asked jai where is she now i had no idea nanu se poochege he pointed to the phone for me to call his grandfather in india to ask him i did and my father told us that after my grandparents died bahenjee went to live with her son she had since died jai asked me more and more about her and her stories and the memories came flooding back on my summer vacations when i was a child i would look forward to going to dadi s house so i could be with bahenjee for she was one of the best storytellers in the world you and i shell peas i told jai bahenjee and i would make sev noodles as she shared stories we would sit together in the hot delhi sun after her ritual of sweeping the concrete courtyard with a wooden broomstick brushing away dust and dirt i couldn t see and laying out a bamboo mat or chitai for us to sit on she would spread newspapers in front of the mat and peel a few indian oranges santras for me to eat then she would bring out the chickpea dough bahenjee would make small logs of the dough and she taught me how to hold each one between my fingers as if i were counting the beads of a rosary away we would go preparing small bits of sev as princesses crossed paths with evil witches even as she talked bahenjee outpaced me in making sev she would go through containers of dough while i was still struggling with my first log she never seemed to notice that i generally made a mess and seemed to be interested only in the stories occasionally she would ask me to wet a muslin cloth to cover the dough as it started to dry up we would sit in that glowing delhi heat for hours and i would listen mesmerized as i recalled bahenjee s stories for jai it occurred to me that the tales she had told me had been in multani i learned a dying language through her stories all of the stories were set in my father s birthplace multan a part of india until the separation of india and pakistan bahenjee spoke hindi the more colloquial language as well but seemed to prefer telling the stories in her own language stopping to translate only if i looked totally lost she would recount painfully how she was forced to leave her motherland she would talk about my father s childhood about her own family about the food and the festivities her language connected me to a place i would never see and a culture i had never known no one in my family ever returned to multan bahenjee chronicled a history that was lost in a war over religion and hate i learned prayers and nursery rhymes in multani bahenjee s stories ended inevitably when the dough did i have always wondered what she did in the winters learning to appreciate another culture through its language through the words of an old woman who has seen life and lived to tell about it now feels like a blessing when my parents told us their childhood stories we rolled our eyes it always seemed to be intended as a lecture prefaced with when i was your age bahenjee s stories were different they transported me intrigued me several years have gone by since jai and i started counting peas at the age of 8 he speaks hindi though not flawlessly often he mixes english and hindi words to create his own language he has even picked up a few stray words of multani now the questions he asks in his hindi english mix are no longer simple kya sab iraqi log bad hai are all iraqi people bad why are those soldiers carrying banndooks guns why do people die will i die aap bhi will you jai no longer struggles with the language now it s my turn i struggle for the right words the right answers in any language posted in essay feature on my mind now jihva special edition 2007 posted on saturday october 6 2007 by vee 59 oh yes it is that time of the year again the time when ppm hosts jihva it also means that diwali is around the corner because jihva becomes synonymous with diwali when it visits this blog it also means it is the time when i tinker around with the rules of the event so much so that indira just gave up threw up her hands and called it special edition go ahead vee do your worst we have a whole year to repair what you do since tinkering with the rules has become sort of a tradition with jihva when it comes to this blog and since i already tweaked it a bit the last time the pressure to match that this time around was enormous bit in the end i think i have out done myself from last time you see i decided to co host jihva with the ongoing festive series that the yum blog has been hosting since janmashtami lakshmi was kind enough to allow me to host the dassera and diwali editions of it so this time instead of just jihva special edition we have jihva special editon the festive series yeah yeah that s quite a mouthful you didn t really expect anything less when you knew that i was going to host it this month did you if you did well now you know better alright alright i will make it simple for you i am going to call it jfs jihva festive series there all happy good cos this is where the rules come in in keeping with the festive series rules this month s jihva will allow for non food related posts in fact i am opening up the field to include anything and everything that you as a blogger can think of about the diwali and dassera just dress it up according to rules below and you have a shoo in in fact this is a great way for non food bloggers to join in on the jihva ride there are two due dates the last date for navratri dassera related entries is 24 oct 2007 and the last date for the diwali entries is 11 nov 2007 indira i can see you banging your head against the monitor don t think i can t stop it right now remember another whole year before it comes back to me ________________________________________________________________________________ the jihva special edition festive series rules 1 the theme for the month is navratri dassera diwali write a post about either or both it can be food related recipe memories thoughts experiences incident anecdote photo essay essentially anything and everything that is related to diwali navratri dassera 2 write a post related to the festivities link back to this post and send to pastpresentme yahoo com the following info a your blog name b your name c images related to your post must be part of your post if any d the url to the post please include jfs dassera or jfs diwali in the mail s subject line depending upon your post 3 if you do not have a blog mail me your content and i will publish it here on ppm as is 4 you can send in single or multiple posts as you wish 5 have fun during it all that s it do your best and send it across and then join me for the round up ________________________________________________________________________________ navratri dassera the celebration of goddess durga in her many manifestations it is celebrated for nine days and nights and ends with the tenth day of dassera vijaydashmi it is also an harvest festival in some parts of india with the new harvest of rice being celebrated harvest festival slaying of asura mahishasura at the hands of goddess durga king of asuras ravana s defeat and death at the hands of bhagwan ram celebration of the female goddess all of this culminate into a festival that is celebrated all over india western india particularly gujarat celebrates the nine nights with the traditional garba dance northern india celebrates the dassera with ramlila enactment of the ramayan as written in ramacharitmanas by tulsidas followed by the celebration of bhagwan ram s victory and the downfall of the king of asuras ravan by burning his effigy ramlila literally rama s play is a performance of the ramayana epic in the form of a series of scenes that include song narration recital and dialogue it is performed across the whole of northern india during the festival of dussehra held each year according to the ritual calendar around the month of october or november the most representative ramlilas are those of ayodhya ramnagar and benares vrindavan almora sattna and madhubani from here on the eastern side west bengal celebrates with nine days of durga puja in eastern india especially in bengal the durga puja is the principal festival during navratri it is celebrated with gaiety and devotion through public ceremonies of sarbojanin puja or community worship huge decorative temporary structures called pandals are constructed to house these grand prayer services followed by mass feeding and cultural functions the earthen icons of goddess durga accompanied by those of lakshmi saraswati ganesha and kartikya are taken out on the tenth day in a triumphal procession to the nearby river where they are ceremonially immersed bengali ladies give an emotion charged send off to durga amidst ululations and drumbeats this marks the end of the goddess brief visit to the earth as durga leaves for mount kailash the abode of her husband shiva it s time for bijoya or vijayadashami when people visit each other s homes hug each other and exchange sweets from here here the slaying of mahishasura by the all ppwerful goddess durga is celebrated is that of the goddess durga slaying the buffalo demon mahishasura according to popular mythology the gods were compelled to grant mahishasura indomitable powers for his unparalleled meditation as expected the omnipotent buffalo demon mahishasura raised hell at the gates of heaven astounding the gods with his mammoth dominion the infuriated gods then created durga it is believed that durga was actualised by the combined effort of all deities durga possesses a weapon of each god and is said to be more powerful than all of them put together from here diwali deepavali the festival of lights the celebration of the return of bhagwan ram from exile the slaying of asur hiranakashyap at the hands of the narsimha avataar of bhagwan vishnu the arrival of the goddess of wealth lakshmi take a pick all of this and none of this are part of the celebrations of diwali in india but there is light yes there is light and there is sound with crackers booming religious significance of diwali all you want to know about diwali ________________________________________________________________________________ jihva diwali 2006 posted in 1656 jfs festive series post navigation older posts kesar sandesh essay feature sushi saga in a slice of indian life carrot ginger soup vee write to me pastpresentmeatyahoodotcom categories 1656 a aayush aayush isms alambe buthi all recipes aloo broccoli aloo matar 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