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kent mariam and co skip to main content kent mariam and co all about the comings and goings of our little bunch search search this blog posts comparison the thief of compassion may 04 2018 i have often heard the saying comparison is the thief of joy but as i have been navigating this road of loss and grief i have noticed how often comparison denies us the opportunity to have true compassion for someone else comparison is often well meaning and kind hearted but when we or someone else compares grief loss or other trials and tribulations it shifts the focus and burden of compassion off of us and minimizes the other person a few moths ago i had a startling interaction that caused me to pause and reflect on this a great well meaning friend said something along these lines you thought you had it rough loosing your babies just imagine being in her shoes i smiled and nodded my head but inside i was crushed without going into specifics the other woman unquestionably has some great difficulties ahead of her but she didn t have to burry any of her children how could the 2 circumstances possibly be compared after the frie share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps post a comment read more recent posts keep singing until the end of the song december 21 2017 since my last post we lost 2 more precious babies on september 30 2016 we lost our beautiful baby girl felicity at 5 months almost a year later we found out we were expecting agin sadly on dec 1 2017 we lost our little boy elijah i need to write their stories but the feelings and emotions are still very raw and difficult while i hope to share them someday today is not that day today is december 21 just a few more days until christmas i love christmas the lights smells delicious food family and friends and especially the music i love to sing christmas songs and look forward to it every year but this year it was hard to sing the songs i love so much this year singing about the miraculous birth brought sadness and even anger i have struggled to feel the christmas spirit i imagine it is difficult to experience any loss during the christmas season a holiday that focuses so much on family fri share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps post a comment read more a miracle for a moment march 09 2016 it was about 8 30 pm on a thursday night i decided to take a pregnancy test it seemed silly the doctors had made it clear i couldn t get pregnant but i needed to rule it out nausea fatigue and a slew of other symptoms were too strong to deny quickly the test showed a positive sign i stood there in total shock my hands shook what does this even mean kent was at the church watching d in a church ball game i told the other two kids to go to bed and raced to the church as if speed would somehow change something he could see the shock on my face immediately he chucked in joy then the fear washed over him too if my womb was scarred closed how could a baby be there was this dangerous for both baby and me how we spent a nervous weekend full of blood work and phone calls it looked like we were expecting a baby but we were still apprehensive finally on the following tuesday we sat at the share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps 3 comments read more starting a new chapter part 2 september 06 2014 you can find part one here now it is september i did my best to forget the actual due date i didn t want the number to cripple me but there is no denying it if things had gone differently we would be holding and loving our sweet baby by now the many other family and friends due at the same time have all had their babies those sweet baby faces bring me so much joy and heartache at the same time of all the regrets i have one of the biggest is i never asked what the baby s gender was i was afraid that if i new it would make it more real and more difficult turns out it is real no matter what now i feel like i am not allowed to mourn because my baby was a nameless genderless nothing loved only by me without a name it never was i want to make donations and do good in honor of my baby but there is no name just a forgotten pregnancy that went wrong i have also struggled morning the loss of m share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps post a comment read more starting a new chapter part 1 september 05 2014 it was late february and kent and i were sitting anxiously in the doctor s office we were waiting to hear if our fears were correct waiting to know if our baby had died our fears were confirmed and our lives changed forever that baby we had prayed about and prayed for the baby we were excitedly expecting was gone we were at the beginning of our second trimester i was just starting to relax the worry of miscarriage was all but gone things had been going well i had normal pregnancy issues like nausea and i was relieved that my rheumatoid arthritis ra had gone into remission that can happen when you are pregnant ultra sounds had shown us a beautiful healthy baby the decision to have another baby was not an easy one to make the meds i take for ra are dangerous to take during pregnancy and take quite a bit of time to leave your system i also knew that while i might go into remission during pregnancy i share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps 1 comment read more great grandma may 18 2012 i would like to say that things have been kinda crazy around here and that s why i have been absent but it just doesn t seem legitimate when i haven t blogged since august ops i might try to post catch up posts but for now i just need to move forward we had the opportunity to spend the evening with kent s grandma today she is an adorable spry and amazing 98 year old lady she is quick with a smile and so sweet i am so glad we went to see her today one of the reasons we went today is my mil kay is leaving on an lds mission to the ukraine yup the ukraine in a few weeks today was the last opportunity we had to see kay and great grandma aren t they cute we brought g grandma a corsage and being super girly she loved it the best of the group here is the 4 generation picture h was not cooperative kent g grandma and kay g grandma has an am share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps 3 comments read more d s big baptism day august 17 2011 it s hard to believe that my baby boy is already 8 he is such a good kid don t get me wrong he drives me crazy at times but i still think he s fantastic he is so happy we always wonder if his cheeks hurt from smiling all the time the kid makes friends everywhere we go and loves to have fun he s also a quick learner new skills seem to come easily to him he would do awesome in school if he could just keep his mouth closed a little more so my smily big guy turned 8 and in our house that means it is baptism time d was so excited to be baptized and confirmed a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints he has been looking forward to it for quite awhile he and kent looked so sweet walking over to the church in their white clothes d is actually a pretty lucky kid most people don t get baptized at a tabernacle but since that is where we attend church that is where he was baptized it i share get link facebook x pinterest email other apps 3 comments read more more posts about me visit profile archive 2018 1 may 1 comparison the thief of compassion 2017 1 december 1 2016 1 march 1 2014 2 september 2 2012 1 may 1 2011 13 august 1 june 2 may 1 april 3 march 1 february 1 january 4 2010 33 november 2 october 5 september 3 august 1 july 3 june 2 may 4 april 1 march 6 february 2 january 4 2009 44 december 2 november 4 october 4 september 2 july 3 june 2 may 3 april 6 march 6 february 5 january 7 2008 69 december 2 november 8 october 10 september 10 august 7 july 7 june 2 may 2 april 3 march 7 february 7 january 4 show more show less report abuse powered by blogger