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oing well he is alive alive doing well we went for his yearly follow up at the cardiologist earlier this month his pulse is still too high and his heart is still not working at optimal capacity but and it is a big but aside from that his heart is looking good considering that there was a cancerous tumour growing through the heart muscle at the join where the ivc inferior vena cava the large vein that carries blood back from the body to the heart enters the right atrium he is doing exceptionally well the cardiologist first saw him in hospital 5 days after diagnosis she saw him again the day before we started chemo when we went for a check up at 1 year in remission she told me that she was very surprised to see that he survived never mind the rest of the cancer simply his heart issues at the time of diagnosis was enough to have killed him so here we are boeta has started taking a low dose of beta blockers to slow his heart down a bit the idea is that the heart will then be able to pump more efficiently he is participating in school sport but the teachers know that he shouldn t be pushed beyond his ability who knew that the tail end of a cancer diagnosis would drag on for so long bc before cancer when i was young and naive i thought remission was the end of the story then life would restart and everything went back to normal ha not quite but we have a healthy child who is blossoming into a wonderful person what more could we possibly ask for filed under uncategorized 2 comments happy birthday baby posted on 23 07 2014 by suzannegrove there are many things that i regret things i didn t do things i did in fact do things i should have done same goes for things said not said should have said there is one thing that i don t regret though i married a good man the best and he generally makes me want to be a better person yesterday wouter turned 40 after spending a very busy weekend celebrating with family and friends in montagu we spent the day quietly mostly because wouter had business meetings until very late so today i sent cupcakes to his office actually i delivered them myself it is handy to work on the same campus 100m from each other and i spent yet another day thinking about what i did right when i married him i did goooood wout at 1 year old no wonder our children are so shockingly good looking the cupcakes with ribbons and all and the ribbon is in a dull colour the way wout likes it i didn t say he was perfect did i i however am the perfect wife obviously sometimes he makes me want to be a better shot but that is a story for another day filed under uncategorized leave a comment squeaky toys posted on 16 07 2014 by suzannegrove why oh why are the best toys that ones that make the most noise and not just the most but also the most irritating years ago i bought wagons for the children it is a plastic basin on wheels with a pull string on one side and they love it but after years of ab use the wagons have started squeaking and since woutertjie is much more in love with his wagon than carien is with hers his is squeaking more unfortunately this is coinciding with a dramatic upswing in his love for and devotion to his wagon this child literally doesn t walk if he could rather sit in the wagon and hitch himself along he ate supper tonight sitting in his wagon all the while jiggling it this way and that making it squeak and squeak and squeak he is loving every moment and i am ready to use the wagon as a litter box for the cat who would probably make even more noise with it come to think about it but look at that face i am such a sucker the wagon is safe for now filed under uncategorized 1 comment dear cat posted on 14 07 2014 by suzannegrove i am not sympathetic i know you think that it was all my fault because you are indeed a cat but no this time you are not pinning it on me do you remember that night earlier in the week the night that you woke me up don t try to deny it you know you do it was around midnight we were all asleep and you started crying you heart out no stop right there it wasn t singing it was crying i have two children i know what a tantrum cry sounds like so there we were midnight me formerly asleep the rest of the family still asleep and you hitting the high notes at the foot of my bed remember how i first begged you to keep quiet nicely and do you remember how you continued lamenting at full volume do you remember that i became so concerned about your well being that i got up and turned on the lights to make sure that you weren t injured after all we do have some rough characters in the neighbourhood that black and white friend of yours that you keep inviting into our house for fights is bad business i always said so but did you listen ok ok we can talk about him later but you know what they say about girls who are seen around with tomcats like that one yes later so do you remember how i got up and found you and do you remember how upset i was when i found out that you were tantruming because dead mice don t play anymore even when you slap them only lightly like so or sing at them like they still don t want to play after you dear cat killed them and do you remember that i had to then get rid of the very much dead mouse by myself since wouter was asleep i threw it out of the window and you went after it and i thought you were going to do whatever you do with dead mice o u t s i d e now remember all of that good because today the children brought the laundry to the kitchen and put it in the washing machine i was so proud of them for actually doing something i asked them they collected all the dirty clothes from the laundry basket by themselves and even sort of sorted i was so proud life was good until i removed the last of the laundry from the machine the underwear the socks the little bits that i scooped up without looking at it because it is an industrial sized top loader machine and i have to hang half into it to reach the bottom and then i grabbed up the very last sock very small i can t remember the children having grey socks and guess what it wasn t a sock it was a dead mouse that you ms cat decided to put in safe storage in my full laundry basket probably that very same mouse that you retrieved in the vain hope that it might somehow come back to life if it could just have a little rest on a nice soft pile of clothes the clothes that the children bundled together without looking at what they were bundling dear cat i do not appreciate a hand full of dead mouse and yes i flung it quite far indeed and yes i did the woman finds mouse ballet and yes i took a step backward during my dance and yes i stepped onto you food bowl and the friskies went flying everywhere and now you have to hunt pardon me for snickering around the kitchen for your supper i m not feeling your pain you brought it on yourself now deal with it and make sure you get the piece of friskies over there and there the least you can do is clean up where you made me spill filed under uncategorized 1 comment school posted on 15 01 2014 by suzannegrove my baby is now in big school how did that happen and when did she become so independent and school ready carien is 6 august baby but is more ready for this day than boeta is at 8 and going to grade 3 carien was up at sparrow s fart this morning getting dressed and ready she absolutely loved putting on her brand new school uniform i wonder how long it will take her to realise that big school also means no princess dresses sparkly jewelry cutex or pink anything it won t go down well i crawled out of bed a bit slower someone had to mark stationary and cover books until very late or early depending on your point of view and i can tell you that it wasn t wouter in his defense he did make me tea and if you know me you know that a cup of tea will take you a long way in my opinion either way here are some pics of the day at my mom s house on our way to school boeta is firmly in hand gesture stage one of the few pics where boeta s hands are normal or normalish at least this was in front of carien s new classroom just before assembly carien 6yo grade 1 and boeta 8yo grade 3 blurry but there she is in the row of grade 1s please note her daintily folded hands in her new classroom and yes she sits right and the back and she is very impressed with the view woutertjie in his new classroom doesn t he have the most beautiful stationary container self made i will let you know well now we wait and see what they have to say today is my last day of leave so i am picking them up after school and from tomorrow my mom is back on duty i really really want to be a sahm and pick up my own children i never ever thought i would say that in my whole life ever but it is true filed under uncategorized 1 comment more 5 year events posted on 13 01 2014 by suzannegrove since the 5 years from diagnosis post we also had 5 years from meeting our oncologist 5 years from hearing that the tumour was actually inside boeta s heart apparently it said so on the first scan but we were too shell shocked to interpret the medical speak 5 years from first chemo 5 years from starting hair loss 5 years from having his broviac put in and wouter being told that boeta won t survive the surgery but that is ok since he won t survive the cancer either ha take that unbelieving doctor that same doctor removed his broviac in 2010 and told me that he was very grateful to have been proven wrong i am too in a couple of weeks we are celebrating 5 years since boeta s first clear scan in a way it feels like his re birthday to me he was born on 5 april 2005 but on 16 march 2009 he was reborn to us we are blessed filed under uncategorized 2 comments 5 years posted on 24 12 2013 by suzannegrove it is christmas eve we are at my mom s house and it is 5 years since woutertjie was diagnosed every year wouter and i look at each other in the days and weeks running up to christmas and can only be amazed at how far we ve come god has been gracious and kind to us and for that we are eternally grateful this year boeta seems a lot more at ease with us talking about the time when he was ill i think he is starting to realise that talking about it won t make it come back carien only cares about going to big school next year we already bought her school shoes white sneakers and she has been wearing them everywhere she is definitely ready for school and we are ready to celebrate christmas and the birth of christ may you have a blessed 2014 filed under uncategorized leave a comment outing time posted on 26 11 2013 by suzannegrove it is that time of year school outing time i used to get very upset at my dad being so overprotective and old fashioned and uncool he made such a fuss before he allowed us to drive with anyone other than a certain select group of people which means that i missed out on more than one weekend away camping trip whatever when i was still in school i decided that i would never be as boring as my parents now here i am last week carien s school went to the museum in cape town i made specific arrangements with another school mother who is on my select list of drivers to take her and bring her back we practiced scenarios are you going to fasten your seat belt the other children are laughing at you are you going to unbuckle the seat belt everyone else is riding loose in the boot of the car are you going to join them until she told me to please stop now and i stressed that whole day even after i got the message that she was safely back at my mom s house boeta s class went to giraffe house yesterday and again we did scenarios and again i was restless until he got back i can t help but be amazed at how i am turning into my parents and now that i am a parent myself there is no way that i would allow my children to do the things that i wanted to do so badly when i was in school how the mighty are falling filed under uncategorized 1 comment faith like a child posted on 16 11 2013 by suzannegrove i am falling more and more in love with my children they are priceless and adorable and independent and dependent and very grown up and so small all in one body which doesn t mean that they can t get on my last nerve at times we i aren t that perfect today wouter and the children drove to pringlebay to his parents to deliver their trailer it has been raining like mad since yesterday and since there were reports of road closures in the somerset west area wouter phoned the swest police to confirm that all the roads were open and that they would be able to get through i was barely done with the second chapter of the proofreading that i stayed behind for when wout phoned to say that clarens drive the only road around the mountain from our side is flooded and he knew that because they were stuck in the resultant traffic jam eventually they managed to turn around and come back home mil had so much food prepared for their visit and then they couldn t show when they got back wouter told me that while they were stuck in the traffic jam and waiting to find a spot to turn a vito and a trailer around he could sense carien getting more and more quiet when he looked back at her she was quiet as a mouse but with tears running down her face she was so scared i never realised that they ve never been close to flooding before apparently when wouter got out to talk to someone carien turned to boeta and told him that she thought it was time to start praying my baby my poor frightened baby she told me that she felt much better afterwards because she prayed that the sun would shine again noah connotations maybe and then the sun did shine for a little while and then it rained again but she felt better anyway boeta hasn t said anything about the trip which means that he was very disconcerted by it and will probably mention it about 3 months from now when he has chewed it over for long enough sometimes i can t believe that those two children were born to the same parents and raised in the same family their stress handling methods are so totally different and so totally unique i think we ll keep them for a while longer filed under uncategorized 1 comment men and boys posted on 26 06 2013 by suzannegrove last night wouter had lots to say about my lack of humblicity humility dankie tif which leads one me to the conclusion that he thinks he is equally awesome it isn t fair to criticise someone if you can t do better right huh my awesome husband and his equally awesome son please note how deftly i shift all blame to the mentioned husband caused me to oversleep this morning in fact by the time i woke up it was time to leave for work backgroud our usual routine is quite complicated my iphone alarms at 06 30 boeta then takes it to go and play games until 06 40 when the phone alarm goes off again he brings it to me still screeching and i wake up and get up and everyone gets ready for work school the children need to be on their way to school by 07 30 if wouter takes them i go to my mom s for breakfast and tea...