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the other side of the mountain difficile est saturam non scribere skip to primary content skip to secondary content the other side of the mountain difficile est saturam non scribere search main menu you were looking for about contact archive post navigation older posts the zodiac killer posted on 5 december 2024 by kyknoord and now for an update on the score kyknoord 0 cancer 1 i guess this is my stop a nice spot to enjoy the sunset you all take care now you ve been great posted in you are dead d e d dead tagged cancer the ultimate abyss a terrible thing to waste posted on 27 march 2024 by kyknoord 15 anyone who has even dipped their toes into the dark waters of neuroscience will know that mind and body are inextricably linked our visceral aspect is an essential part of the ephemeral if you were able to remove someone s brain and successfully hook it up to a life support system the resulting mind would not be entirely human i suspect that this procedure may already have been done because it s certainly one way to explain the emptiness of my current project manager s cranium the alternative is just too sad to contemplate his singular brain cell committed suicide out of loneliness this line of thought was prompted by the ongoing physical failure of the reanimated corpse i laughingly refer to as my body i am the human equivalent of an alfa romeo arna if you decide to look it up be prepared to be horrified completed at five o clock on a friday afternoon as my condition deteriorates and the pain ramps up the disconnect between who i was and who i am widens i am literally losing my mind posted in think or thwim tagged alfa romeo arna body humanity idiots mind 15 replies stand not upon the order of your going posted on 29 january 2024 by kyknoord 3 perhaps it s time to introduce you to eggplant boy sadly this useless sack of shit is my stepdaughter s boyfriend not some lame superhero i imagine that if he was the latter he d be cut from similar cloth to florida man anyway she met him while playing the call of duty mobile game and his particular brand of toxic behaviour towards the other players was just too sexy for her to ignore i admit that i have a pretty dismal track record when it comes to romance but my stepdaughter takes it to the next level she simply can t resist picking the absolute worst barrel scrapings that life has to offer it s almost impressive to be honest i call him eggplant boy or alternatively aubergino not because he has the dynamic vibrant personality of your typical brinjal but rather that he would be a lot easier to tolerate if he was sliced thinly then covered in salt and subsequently deep fried it doesn t bother him in the slightest that he is a pathetic unemployed layabout with no plan for self improvement whatsoever he is content to lounge around all day sponging off the goodwill of others indefinitely his excuse for his bone idleness is that he allegedly has social anxiety which makes it impossible for him to find a job apparently social anxiety also makes him incapable of actually looking for a job picking up after himself or even taking a shower i m not 100 sure if he manages to wipe his own arse but that s one of those things you re probably better off not knowing i was blissfully unaware of just how unpleasant he was when i agreed to let stepdaughter and eggplant boy stay at the flat for a few days this was supposed to be for the period between christmas and new year and although i wasn t thrilled at the prospect of having a stranger in my home for a week i had no idea how dire it would turn out to be within a day of their arrival they had managed to turn the flat into a complete tip food encrusted plates were left lying around the sink became a jenga stack of greasy crockery piles of dirty laundry and wet towels covered the bathroom floor and an unstable heap of additional rubbish was dumped on top of the overflowing bin i dragged them off the couch to harangue them for their complete lack of consideration and i made it absolutely clear that i wasn t prepared to be their domestic servant since they were both technically adults i expected them to clean up after themselves stepdaughter tearfully agreed while aubergino did his best soft bitch impression and conducted a detailed examination of his shoes it turned out that my stepdaughter had only being paying me lip service because in the days that followed i kept on having to confront them about their disgusting habits and the filthy state of the flat then to add insult to injury i was told not asked that eggplant boy had decided to extend his stay i spent a considerable amount of time ranting to my shrink about how intolerable the situation was before he pointed out that since i hadn t agreed to the extension it wouldn t be unreasonable for me to toss the annoying leech out on his crusty buttocks i m paraphrasing b but where will he go stammered stepdaughter when i broke the bad news i responded with don t care sounds like a you problem this earned me stepdaughter s death stare tm and i am reliably informed that now i rank higher than satan in hell s hierarchy time to update my cv then stepdaughter and aubergino are currently infesting her father s house her dad has large property a fondness for alcohol and a propensity to choose violence when he s blotto hopefully we ll see a suspicious verdant mound occupying the bottom of the garden in the near future fingers crossed posted in the devil in the details tagged devils filthy houseguests social anxiety sponges squatters taking advantage unwelcome visitors 3 replies bring out your dead posted on 24 january 2024 by kyknoord 10 i ve been instructed to tell you that i am still alive at least nominally on the other hand i could just be a clone and my original body has been origamied into the freezer we keep in the archive for some reason there s a hefty lock on it and nobody seems to know where the key is so short of bringing in my bolt cutters i can only speculate i do know that my company will be in weapons grade doo doo if i expire before completing my current project so while they are invested in keeping me functional the task deadlines are stupidly unreasonable and that places some rather onerous demands on my time home life continues to emulate a kinetic sculpture fashioned out of a spinning fan and ballistic turd launcher and i m not strong enough to get into that just yet what do we say to the god of disaster not today posted in death is no excuse tagged cloning deadlines death office projects specialist 10 replies the procrastination situation posted on 16 november 2023 by kyknoord 4 once again i am called upon to produce a fully developed technical proposal the fucking day before it is due in my industry the timelines are sometimes short but the brain donor who sits behind the mahogany desk in the fancy upstairs office has had this tender wedged up her arse since last month maybe she expected me to know by osmosis or geomancy or fast radio burst that she wanted my help because actual instructions appear to be a bridge too far when she finally decided to pull it out she realised that it was due tomorrow and sent me a frantic message last night i let it go to voicemail because i was off the clock by then and i don t get paid enough to put up with after hours office horseshit to be honest i don t know why i m annoyed this happens so regularly it may as well be in my job description posted in why do you need to sleep this is urgent tagged brain donors idiots manufactured crises office life red forman that 70s show time management urgency 4 replies post navigation older posts this work is licensed under a creative commons attribution no derivative works 3 0 unported license my read shelf create a free website or blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed the other side of the mountain join 85 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy the other side of the mountain 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