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finest frocks after a full day of guided sightseeing all to places silky had also visited a century ago and arrived by dusty cab at 4 30 it was only the quick thinking and fast action of my friend and travel companion that saved the day as i stood crestfallen in the heat by the arched and fortified entrance she called the front desk and made us a reservation at le salon de the after a few miscommunications and dropped calls the security guard confirmed our reservation and reluctantly allowed us through we crossed into another world a sumptuous tropical paradise like shangri la there was no dust no crowds traffic or honking horns no offending odors just lush green lawns spotted with banana trees and flower laden gardens birdsong and the rustling of palm fronds in a gentle fragrant breeze it was a palace and just as beautiful as el bahia as grand as the saadian tombs as majestic as the kotoubia minaret the two storey high ceilings were carved and painted every column was decorated with slivers of tiles set into intricate mosaics every lamp garnished with colored glass the pastry cart looked like a jewelry case out of cartier s we were seated at a cozy table with plushly upholstered armchairs in the corner of the salon there was only one other table of patrons across the room we tucked into our three tiered tea stand of small crustless sandwiches pastry confections fit for a queen and garishly colored macarons in pistachio and raspberry rose flavors it was heaven it was my birthday and new years rolled into one and drizzled with creme fraisch afterwards we strolled all of the public rooms and i tried to spy the more permanent features that might be original ignoring the draperies and furniture i found a lovely pastel toned stylized mural along one hallway that ended in a very deco like curve it was most certainly commissioned at the time of construction or shortly thereafter then we headed outside onto the grounds enjoying towering white hollyhocks and sunset colored hibiscus flowers the evening sun cast the elongated shadows of trees across the lawn in the olive grove the glorious day was coming to a close it gave me that same melancholy feeling i ve experienced in england nassau and manhattan the wistful sense that we ve almost reached each other me trailing just behind only for her to disappear around a corner just out of my grasp like the gossamer threads of a dream upon waking all these decades since traveling and researching writing and editing her life story i am still following in silky s footsteps across time i guess i always will the fly on my nose 07 friday jul 2023 posted by ladysilky in uncategorized 3 comments tags self publishing sometimes i can be a bit thick for over a decade now i ve had friends acquaintances and total strangers ask me why i don t self publish silky my hairstylist was one such person last night as chunks of my hair drifted to the floor i gave her my pat response about it not feeling legit to me as a writer that anyone can do it and it s not for me but for some reason i cannot define i woke up this morning and thought why don t i self publish like i d heard the concept for the very first time was it purely ego preventing me from trying a different avenue or was it habit like when you re driving the same route day after day week after week and one day you laugh at the graffiti on a billboard you ve never seen before only your friend tells you it s been there all along like a fly on your nose that you just weren t ready to see that s how i feel about silky once i let myself consider it i started weighing some of the pros i wouldn t have to face the grueling agent submission process again i d have complete creative control i could get it into the hands of my peops who ve been asking about it for years and perhaps start a word of mouth movement who knows where it might lead some authors have self published then been approached by an agent and ended up with a book deal maybe i m going about it backwards maybe an agent needs to find me instead of the more traditional way i began to feel lighter my spiritual teacher always advises to go where the energy is if something energizes you that s exactly the right path i have a new excitement this afternoon and even ordered a couple of how to books on the subject but best of all i no longer feel stuck getting back on the horse 07 tuesday jul 2020 posted by ladysilky in uncategorized 4 comments these strange and trying times have brought me back to silky having been laid off from work in march i ve had the time and motivation to reread my novel and silky s life still amazes me i suppose four years is ample time to gain a new perspective because i ve finally got it i m ready to get back on the horse that threw me and take hold of the literary reins like most folks during this pandemic or what i like to call the zombie apocalypse i ve been tackling projects joyously ticking off tasks from my to do list i ve gone through closets and drawers culling unwanted clothing and items long forgotten in the depths of household storage in my excavations i discovered a book shaped locket i had purchased awhile back i d had it engraved silky on the front and always intended to have a picture of her made to put inside it so this week i found a photography processing shop able to shrink down one of the many portraits in my collection i chose this shot from the 1920s that is i believe attributed to cecil beaton it was taken shortly after her marriage to lord ashley cooper securing her position in london society with a title she would use the rest of her glamorous life the tiny photo will be ready for pick up tomorrow and i m ready to spruce up my cover letter and start the submission process again it s time to find the perfect agent to help me get this fabulous woman s story out into the world hi ho sylvia and away we go life preserver 23 sunday oct 2016 posted by ladysilky in douglas fairbanks sr 2 comments tags doris delevingne lady sylvia ashley love in a cold climate lyndsy spence nancy mitford the mitford society the pursuit of love viscountess of castlerosse lady sylvia ashley italy 1930s it s no secret that i ve been floundering of late amid set backs and false starts i ve lost enthusiasm for silky i simply haven t been able to muster the drive to carry on so imagine my surprise at receiving a lifeline out of the blue a published writer who specializes in aristo ladies sent me the most lovely encouraging email a couple of weeks ago after reading my blog she complimented me on my posts and commiserated on the difficulty of getting our kinds of stories into the hands of our readers she even shared tips and leads on british publishers oh the kindness of strangers it was exhilarating to find someone familiar with silky s fabulous story and also thrilling to learn about one of silky s peers doris delevingne viscountess of castlerosse lyndsy spence s book on the notorious british socialite is coming out next month and she tells me that doris and sylvia were friends after ten years of research i d never heard of doris so it was a pleasure to become acquainted and if that isn t enough lyndsy s part of the mitford society two of my favorite stories of all time are the pursuit of love love in a cold climate our connection couldn t be more perfect if silky introduced us herself maybe she did lyndsy s graciousness and generosity was like a life preserver for this drowning writer i was just barely treading water and now i feel that perhaps i could reach shore soon she s gotten me kicking again and renewed my hope a very fine gift indeed and just in the nick of time sweet sorrow 02 sunday oct 2016 posted by ladysilky in uncategorized leave a comment gam me 2011 i recently went up to the central coast to take care of my cousin s cat while she was on vacation as i left for home after my visit i was overwhelmed by sadness now i adore the cecil cat he s extremely affectionate demonstrative but there was something else going on something i couldn t name my sorrow was so deep and huge for simply saying goodbye to a cat i love i remembered something the comedian louis c k said about letting oneself feel all feelings he points out that life is filled with sadness as well as joy how they both exist but that we shy away from sorrow he recommends embracing it instead he talked about running into sadness frequently while driving he noticed that his mind was more free to wander in the car and that feelings of profound misery would overtake him he suggests pulling over to the side of the road and letting the feelings come so i did as the tears flowed i remembered a conversation with a friend just the day before about emotional discomfort she was talking about when scary or hard things happen to us we distract ourselves instead of feeling the fear or worry or sorrow but if we could just sit with the hard feelings long enough answers and solutions eventually appear i finally understood that my sorrow was place related when my grandmother was still alive i used to drive that same route home after visiting her and cry in the car when the dementia began and gam was no longer the woman she had been i missed her before she left her body i began grieving when she lost her mind and every time i left her i wondered how much more time we had together before i lost her completely realizing this on the side of the road somehow gave me comfort the sadness was there then eventually it passed just like louis c k said it would but it had a beginning and i was able to finally trace the source because i didn t resist the feelings or stuff them down i just sat with them it s not easy but it s where the answers are to be found the basis of buddhism is a doctrine known as the four noble truths the first truth is that all life is suffering pain and misery i used to view this notion as a downer but now i get it if you re paying attention and living a compassionate sensitive life your heart will break a thousand times a day but that doesn t mean there isn t beauty around every corner there are treasures to be found in the rubble after all a diamond started out as a lump of coal anniversary of loss 13 tuesday sep 2016 posted by ladysilky in uncategorized 3 comments my gammy 1940s a friend recently commented on the anniversary of the loss of her beloved mother by stating that she d lost her northern star that really hit me especially so close to the anniversary of my grandmother s death and it s a perfect comparison how does one navigate without them you think it will get easier and eventually it does but not for a very very very long time and you never really stop missing them you just miss them a fraction less as life callously marches on i ve saved a recording of gam on my answering machine it was back when she wasn t yet confusing the t v remote with the cordless phone a perfectly understandable mistake for a 95 year old woman who was middle aged when television was invented she was waiting for my arrival and growing impatient no matter what time i told her i d get there she d start watching for me on the front porch sometimes she d be waiting for hours in the voice message she sounds forlorn and lonely disappointed and worried it s not the best representation of her voice but it s the only one i ve got i listen to it about once a week i lost her two years ago today two days after my birthday somehow i know she waited to crossover so as not to spoil my special day but still my birthday celebrations have a melancholy element to them and probably always will my deepest regret is that she ll never get to see s ilky published after how much a part of it she was and is looking for a photograph of her i ran onto my post from last year at this time it sums up exactly how i m still feeling as it turns out my gammy was the love of my life no one will ever love me as deeply as constantly and with as much sheer unconditional force as she did no one will ever think i m as smart as charming or as beautiful as she did no one will light up like a hundred birthday candles when i walk into the room and that hurts my heart to know like realizing you re no longer the ingénue or the star quarterback or just the apple of someone s eye to become irrelevant is untethering kathleen curtis stratton 1950s elder flower 28 sunday aug 2016 posted by ladysilky in uncategorized leave a comment tags elder flower english rose lady sylvia ashley midcentury manhattan prince dimitri djordjadze when i was visiting east sussex last fall a friend took me to a local pub and turned me on to a lovely sparkling lemonade beverage made with elderflowers rose since then i have discovered a market that sells it here in california it s my new alternative to champagne when i m not wanting alcohol of course when i am imbibing it goes smashingly with vodka and a little fresh lime juice i ve christened my new cocktail the lady sylvia i haven t yet researched how the elder flower was named but it brings silky to my mind when i knew her as a child she was a grand dame in her seventies but she hadn t lost her impeccable sense of style and was still a great beauty a perfect english rose as the saying goes silky captured the attention and heart of a georgian prince in her fifties their gala wedding was the talk of midcentury manhattan i wonder where this idea came from of women no longer being considered attractive simply because they re no longer young like that s a natural progression it s outdated and just not true i believe our wisdom alone makes us rather lethally gorgeous i like to think of the term elderflower to describe a lovely woman of a certain age it sure beats the hell out of old lady old maid elderly or senior cheers to the elderflowers london s calling 21 sunday aug 2016 posted by ladysilky in douglas fairbanks sr lord anthony ashley cooper uncategorized leave a comment tags clark gable douglas fairbanks sr lady sylvia ashley lord anthony ashley cooper lord stanley of alderley prince dimitri djordjadze st giles dorset vanity fair lord anthony ashley cooper weds sylvia hawkes london 1927 imagine my surprise leafing through this month s issue of vanity fair magazine discovering an article on the current earl of shaftsbury and the ashley cooper estate st giles in dorset with a mention of silky in 1927 lord ashley shocked london society by marrying the chorus girl sylvia hawkes he died of a heart attack in 1947 at the age of 46 sylvia from whom he was divorced in 1935 went on to wed douglas fairbanks sr and clark gable as well as the sixth baron sheffield and prince djordjadze a georgian nobleman and just that simply there she is again refusing to let me quit recently i ve been feeling aimless things seem flat and mundane and i realized just today that it s not only because i m missing silky s fabulous influence from my life but also because i ve halted my creative flow i haven t been writing and a kind of flatline has set in at the very least i ought...