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our flying friends this critter was no exception so i bellowed me what kind of bird is that that opened the floodgates of response it s a red tailed hawk someone opined that it is probably a relative of pale male a legendary red tailed hawk that nests at 927 fifth avenue apparently with co op board approval he s currently on his eighth wife maybe his name should be larry king normally these birds of prey nest in trees but pale male plays by his own rules because the hawk atop the clock is fuzzy someone pronounced it a fledgling because it s young it s still honing its hunting skills which explains why it dropped its dinner dinner freshly killed that rat falling out of the sky is what first created the stir on the sidewalk had i witnessed that pre show entertainment i would have been so traumatized i would have needed therapy as i was snapping a shot of the rodent a middle aged woman holding a serious camera asked me serious camera woman is it dead me i don t think it s going to sing everything s coming up roses again she nudged its head with her toe a gesture i found so repugnant i bolted something about making physical contact with a dead rat gives me industrial strength willies i also didn t want to witness it spring back to life even if that meant missing it channel ethel merman when i returned to my oasis my doorman greeted me i showed him the pictures i shot of the hawk he s a bird enthusiast and said that many red tailed hawks live near 116 th and riverside like the hawk expert in the crowd he also thinks it dropped its dinner because it s in the learner s permit stage of development i reasoned that maybe it was for the best me how was he going to eat that rat he wasn t sitting on that clock holding a knife and fork my doorman he d shred it when they re flying around hang onto the chihuahua ingesting that factoid i entered the elevator promising to keep that advice in mind i m so hungry share this post share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest more email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading 47 comments posted in humor new york city tagged broadway show tunes ethel merman feral creatures manhattan upper west side urban jungle lame adventure 472 new york city gay pride parade 2016 posted on june 27 2016 42 comments if anyone has noticed i ve been on an extended hiatus from the blogosphere completely enjoying life in the real world one lame adventure tradition that s inspired me to surface is covering new york s gay pride parade with my pal milton we have been constant sideline fixtures at this parade for several years so constant that we actually appeared in a crowd shot on our local tv news in 2015 i will be forever grateful that it was not our sweating mugs in close up this year it seemed to us that there were a record number of participants as well as a record turnout watching from the sidelines or maybe we just showed up too late to get a good spot to shoot photos this inflated tube courtesy of t mobile marred almost every picture we tried to take view hog one aspect of the parade i loathe is the flood of corporate sponsorship but i realize the overt pandering for lgbt dollars is a reflection of just how far gay people have come since the stonewall riots in 1969 delta airlines shilling for lgbt dollars there were also the usual suspect politicians marching including our mayor bill de blasio governor andrew cuomo and senator chuck schumer senator chuck schumer marching and bullhorning there were anemic cheers for the trickle of die hard bernie sanders marchers and thunderous applause for hillary clinton s tsunami of foot soldiers message from member of hillary contingent we did not see hillary she marched the last two blocks of the parade when she joined de blasio and cuomo at the route s end in greenwich village this year paying tribute to the victims of the shooting massacre at the pulse nightclub in orlando was in the forefront of the march the most moving homage to the victims was 49 silent marchers shrouded in white veils wearing signs with a photograph of each victim it was like seeing 49 ghosts haunting sight of 49 ghosts but it was far from a somber parade the tragedy in orlando seemed to inspire more people to march with both joyful abandon and a greater sense of purpose dykes on bikes at parade s start joyful pedal pushers guys on bikes fancy footwear man the glad hatter here comes the bride and bride oh good someone remembered to bring the double halo penis sign queen for a day or maybe forever aching headdress dry clean only gays against guns good idea share this post share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest more email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading 42 comments posted in humor new york city tagged gay pride hillary clinton lesbian lgbt pride orlando shooting lame adventure 471 new beginnings posted on february 15 2016 95 comments six years ago i started writing lame adventures because i was down on my luck the country was deep in recession and i needed something free to fill my time following a twenty percent pay cut in 2009 writing a blog was the perfect solution i had to take photographs concoct a story make it somewhat coherent and field comments from my trickle of followers that was a great time sponge over the years as my following increased the grind every so often stuck a crow bar in the company safe and returned some of my cut pay after my father shed his mortal coil in summer 2014 my siblings and i sold our family home in san francisco and split the proceeds three ways suddenly i was up on my luck my brother axel suggested the unfathomable axel why don t you look into buying a piece of new york real estate give up the rent stabilized apartment in the heart of manhattan s upper west side that i had called my sanctum sanctorum for over thirty years so it was in a walk up building with thin walls worn floors torn window screens it had one closet the refrigerator light was busted and a replacement bulb could not be found the bathroom sink leaked and the ancient stove originally intended for a motor home had to be lit with a match it wasn t wired for air conditioning it only had three outlets with five working plugs i had to walk three blocks to the laundromat in the blistering heat and freezing cold my letter carrier was the poster child for anger management the tenant below me lay dead on the floor for several days in 2014 and last summer i temporarily had a room mate a pigeon that flew in through the chimney was my closest living male relative smoking crack when he suggested that i give up that slice of paradise is that spit in my mailbox or pure venom the time had come to do what had initially seemed unthinkable stop being a renter and start being an owner it took all of 2015 through january of 2016 for me to complete this process after searching for eight months bidding half a dozen times on apartments as far north as 103 rd street and south as 57th street getting rejected five times in the ferocious blood sport that is manhattan real estate shopping i finally had my offer accepted then i entered a new hell the complicated buying process for this sliver of big apple in a landmark emery roth co op building a short walk from my former sanctum sanctorum before i started looking into purchasing a place i would not have known emery roth from an emery board he s the architect who designed the iconic san remo the building with the two towers that i m flying past in my banner to afford to live in the san remo you need the assets of a sultan considering that i remain in the neighborhood that i ve called home for over thirty years i feel like i ve won powerball gaining admittance into discount emery roth residents that live on the side of the san remo facing east get a view of central park in my building my apartment faces north so my view is a dentist s terrace as long as he doesn t play the tuba naked at midnight this equals central park to me my new building has an opulent lobby two elevators an immaculate laundry room open twenty hours a day seven days a week 24 hour doormen who greet me warmly and accept my deliveries a live in super and friendly handyman my apartment has air conditioning two closets a real stove a refrigerator with a light and unlike my old sanctum sanctorum room for a couch and space for a desk electricity is included in the maintenance yes the shadow box coffee table is full of tiles where i was sitting as i wrote this post under a tv with devil horns because my new place is near my old one i didn t hire movers aside from my spin bike pictures a file box and magazine rack i ditched my old furniture and decided to start over fresh what i did keep about a third of what i had required approximately 347 pack mule schleps with a duffel bag i parted with many things i didn t even know i had from my first phone to a specimen cup specimen cup at least it was empty or evaporated despite its many quirks i bid my rental apartment of 32 years and four months a fond adieu a final locking of the old door when i returned the keys i suspect that my now elderly irish landlady tossed aside her cane and did a little riverdance shouting at the top of her lungs irish landlady hallelujah she s gone we can double the rent i am adapting to the good life in my new sanctum sanctorum at warp speed but i am confident that wherever i go more lame adventures will follow these guys were parked on my block as i was schlepping maybe next time i ll hire them share this post share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest more email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading 95 comments posted in humor new york city tagged apartment life brotherly love co op moving new home old home lame adventure 470 the highlight of the 53rd new york film festival posted on october 12 2015 79 comments milton and i have spent much of the past two weeks at the new york film festival where we ve seen quite a few low lights before attending a screening of mountains may depart the latest film by the chinese director and screenwriter jia zhangke we rubber necked the red carpet photo op here is jia with his frequent leading lady his wife zhao tao tao and jia mountains is a drama set in the past present and future about a woman who is loved by two men one rich and the other poor she marries the rich guy and has a son he names dollar even though jia insists that his film is about 21 st century capitalism and the discontent felt by those that have benefitted from it we found it trite to quote milton milton i didn t buy any of it he also hated the q a and grumbled milton i can t believe i m giving up food for this what i will remember most from that film is how much it made me crave dumplings while milton was in the bathroom i noticed the filmmaker michel gondry in the lobby following a screening of his latest microbe gasoline a whimsical tale about two french teenage boys that build a vehicle and set out on a road trip michel gondry i found it entertaining fluff milton thought it had absolutely no business being in the festival and groused that that slot should have gone to macbeth starring michael fassbinder and marion cotillard i would have gladly argued that point with him but i couldn t i was also disappointed that macbeth wasn t screened while i was busy at work milton emailed me that filmmaker chantal akerman had died in paris on monday an apparent suicide this was quite a shock we had tickets to her latest film no home movie and we were looking forward to hearing her speak at the post screening q a as news of her death spread our screening became a very hot ticket i raced straight from work in long island city to alice tully hall i was very surprised that the lobby was not busier and that i had arrived before milton as i waited for him i noticed the filmmaker wes anderson i took this terrible gotcha shot and texted it to milton wes anderson as a blur in brown shoes at about the same time i realized that i was at the wrong theater i rocketed to the theater i needed to be at about a block away when i arrived it was the mob scene i had anticipated fortunately milton had gotten there first and had secured seats as for akerman s final film an experimental documentary about her dying elderly mother an auschwitz survivor i found it painfully dull and slept through most of the first quarter upon leaving we ran into my friend lola who said that she liked it milton asked milton what did you like about it this film was another misfire with us i told milton that it made me think about my father at the end a difficult time in his life i never considered recording on film milton said milton it made me think about wanting dinner even though these movies were misfires these were all films we had wanted to see so we don t regret going but the film we wanted to see most delivered that film was carol a lesbian may december romance set in the 1950s a time when homosexuality was considered a mental illness phyllis nagy brilliantly adapted patricia highsmith s novel which was essentially a road movie for the screen cate blanchett who has never looked more alluring plays the title character a gorgeous but troubled cool blonde straight out of alfred hitchcock s gorgeous cool blonde playbook rooney mara is therese the shop girl and aspiring photographer who is instantly smitten with this glamorous charismatic sophisticated woman twice her age shining just as brightly as his two perfectly cast female leads is filmmaker todd haynes he has skillfully directed a masterpiece that is superbly shot by cinematographer ed lachman and scored by composer carter burwell even though i had read the novel that highsmith had published under the pseudonym claire morgan when it was originally titled the price of salt almost 25 years ago i knew the story well but i was so elated at the film s ending it gave me chills carol is filmmaking at its finest it is a great lesbian love story that packs an emotional wallop it opens in the us on november 20 th carol q a l to r cate blanchett producer elizabeth karlsen phyllis nagy rooney mara todd haynes moderator amy taubin share this post share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest more email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading 79 comments posted in film humor new york city tagged carol cate blanchett lesbian ...