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to families some days i totally sit unsure of what move to make what if i make the wrong choice to say yes to something requires a no to another thing juggling all the bits works for a while but then my hands cramp and i let it all fall apart like a teenage romance good for a while but it could never last i struggle with what i assume most other millennials do as well endless opportunities and options from growing up in an online world constantly reinforced with the idea that my destiny is hyper individualized and my path can lead me anywhere except i don t quite know where to head at times options are like currency for us the more we have the richer our lives feel at the drop of a hat we could pull out and jump onboard with something better switch paths based on the most photogenic for an instagram post our online audience needs us to keep things interesting no sleep till brooklyn as they say so many adventures call our names noble ones with a strong sense of duty behind them hilarious escapades that generate countless hashtags of inside jokes adventures that seem to fit like a glove for one hand but don t come with a match for the other which are we to follow a dreamers dilemma a million places i d like to go but no certain guidance that s the problem with options i suppose and while i am thankful to have the privilege of so many choices i have recognized that what i am after isn t really choices at all what i crave is consistency a sense of mission that follows me through each choice and helps me navigate this war of 100 adventures cause they are fighting for my time attention and committment try as i might i can t live them all i can t tell you which adventure to choose which calling to obey or dream to pursue i do know that in the noise of the process and the ideas that heckle you when you put them down i do know that there is a hand we can hold the hand of the one who is prompting us to step out in the first place it s okay if we slip up and don t get it right the first time there is more grace than we know for the decisions we navigate in the war of 100 adventures not all dreams make it out alive and that is how we live how we live the things we are meant to a courage to stop being afraid of missing out of not picking the attractive thing or worrying that none are the right fit we hold the hand of the one who guides us and trust that close to him is where we are to be and he will guide us like he always has subscribe to lark bloom in the sidebar leave a comment or share via social media by clicking here 12 comments filed under faith tagged as choices destiny faith future indecision october 7 2014 8 29 pm when god asks for his dreams back dreams come and dreams go but one thing remains certain source some nights i am simply a hot mess the kind of emotion where you plead for the love of god don t ask me how i am doing because you know if someone asks you will have to tell not that you want to say but your tears will betray you they will come without permission and they will come hard steady and hot there is a dark side to dreaming and we don t like to talk about it much we like the planners and inspirational quotes all the feel good things and the stories of those who ve gone before and tackled the giants bringing them down with bare hands and then taking on the perception that we ought to do the same don t get me wrong i am all about the big dreams that put a fire in your heart and a spring in your step but if that s all i tell you on here then i am lying withholding the painful truth sitting here in my chair i can t help but recount the cycle i know too well god made promises but they didn t come about in the way i expected a million examples roll through my head the moments of inception followed by the birth and then the release the hand off for someone else to grow the things i have planted handing my work over was never what i planned my mind envisioned these days of expansion when i had nurtured this thing inside of me beyond it s infant vulnerability when it recognized me and produced the kinds of things i intended for it seeing the fullness of what god had purposed it for so many times i had made plans around the dreams i carried i suppose mostly though i envisioned being there still at home in the midst of the dream having carved out a space for me where i was safely tucked within the walls of the promise somehow it belonged to me and i belonged to it but i am here now outside looking in watching as new hands shape the things i once held because god called me away and invited them in he asked me to give the dream back handing it over for another person to carry of course the dream will still be a part of me i ll carry it in prayer but reality is that i am part of that dream s past the founder but not the current ceo of my ideas truth be told it makes me a bit sad sad to not be a part it is sad to sit outside the house that you have built and watch another family move in sad that in so many ways the story didn t pan out the way i wanted it to because the story had chapters that extended beyond my portion the dream was no longer mine it had it s own legs and went on without me it became an independent being and that is the journey of dreamers we carry things believe for things contend for things that are brought forth from within ourselves ideas we have created beliefs we have fastened but so many times the intention was never for us to carry it forever it either outgrows us or we are simply called away to craft a new dream to create once again in the deep places of possibility it is the blessing and curse of being a visionary it seems cruel at times as if it is the dark side of dreaming the truth is that it isn t cruel it is hard painful and humbling at times dreams come and dreams go but this one thing remains this kingdom of god is a generous kingdom one that gives and recieves freely as freely as god moved and dropped all the seeds of ideas and promises in our hearts he asks us to hand it back over not always but sometimes because somehow in his all knowing way he knows we need some other adventures ahead and to birth new things he isn t taking it away stripping us of all our work he is giving us the opportunity to carry more fresh new ideas he is adding to our hearts because he is generous gallons of tears and aching months later i see that now i see how it has all played out i still get sad and that s okay with god he can handle grief today i will let myself get a little bit sad for what is no longer mine but mostly i will celebrate that god has allowed me to be a part something so beautiful his generosity to me in allowing me to have a spiritual inheritance those things i get to keep because god is generous if he asks us for the dream back it is because he knows what is best because he is waiting to give us something else today some of you need to hear that you who are feeling the loss of the dream or promise the thoughts racing through your mind wondering what you did wrong why someone else was chosen to run the next lap on the track you built with your own hands and then the dread sets in as we wonder the most deadly thought for dreamers we see ourselves as the victim the one who was robbed of the blessing and acknowledgment fear that who we are and what we have done will be forgotten during the turnover the truth is that god is offering to give us more not make us less we don t need to worry about just being the pioneer or the forerunner fearful that whatever we birth will be taken away from us if things are with us for a month or a lifetime it is because god is generous on those days where we dread god asking for us to give back to him what we have built we remember this it was his generous invitation to allow us to be a part in the first place and god s invitations never run out there is always more that waits ahead for us god never forgets ever subscribe to lark bloom in the sidebar leave a comment or share via social media by clicking here 4 comments filed under faith fire something bigger whimsy tagged as dreaming god grief loss october 2 2014 11 17 am we are dreamers and doers now we need to do something right now give what you can to a good cause win a chance for a free consulting session with me photo by samuel aranda for the new york times everyone has heard of the ebola outbreak in west africa if not i suggest you read this and catch up i m gonna be quick and to the point on this me and you we are game changers world shapers because in their core dreamers believe that things could be different and right now our world needs some change ebola is spreading at a rapid rate and absolutely terrorizing people who deserve better maybe we don t know their names and their stories but they matter just as much as our own the raining season is a group who has been serving the orphans of sierra leone for years and now that ebola has hit they are continuing to serve the community there and are on the ground providing real time help how can dreamers change the world we can give ourselves to something bigger would you consider donating to the raining season as they are working directly with this issue even 5 can make a difference every person who donates to help stop ebola can enter for a chance to win a storm session with me valued at 100 just leave me a comment or tell me on social media that you donated and i will enter you into the drawing that will happen monday october 6th lets be about change and living for something bigger spread the word and lets help those who need it thanks guys i m glad we are changing the world together leave a comment and spread the word by clicking here 4 comments filed under current events tagged as africa ebola give away sierra leone september 23 2014 9 29 pm living in the tension between dangled carrots and spray painted grass four o clock rolled around and all was well by five o clock it had all fallen apart photo cred i was happy at four thirty today giddy even for the past several years i have been working really hard towards a specific thing you could even call it a promise hours have been spent researching the best way to go about pursuing this promise pens have run out of ink as i have taken detailed notes and filled out all the required paperwork scribbles on paper with charts and lists have covered my dining room table late into the night as i look over my plan you have no idea seriously no idea how many questions i have been asked and answers i ve found as i have plotted the path for this big dream of mine to come to pass it was starting to grow legs and arms and come to life before my eyes after holding it with cautious hope i have recently begun to embrace it own it and let the excitement of its existence seep into all the little bits of me at four o clock this afternoon i was talking to someone involved and the details were starting to come together ideas were bounced around and getting polished life was good at four o clock today then the phone rang it was 5 o clock i answered it on the other end was the woman who held the keys to this little dream of mine being born not just in my mind but in actual life the kind of life you can photograph and share beyond the limitations of imagination it wasn t good she informed me of some news that changed the plan in fact it kind of erased the plan burned the paper it was written on and then scattered the ashes somewhere in the bermuda triangle at least that is how it felt by 5 05pm the dream doesn t have to die but it does have to wait and it goes to being a bit of a lottery when it comes to how it will work there are no guarantees really the worst part i started to scold myself for actually letting myself get excited chasing this promise has been years of ups and downs dangled carrots dropped in front of me and actually believing that i was finally going to get to eat them i d lunge to catch the dream between my teeth but it always pulls right back up out of reach sitting there taunting me but too far to have for myself you know what i am talking about falling in love only for the other person to back out working long hours just to watch another person end up with the credit finally saving enough money for a backpacking trip with friends but having to drain your account to pay a car repair and now you are using your newly fixed car to drive your friends to the airport carrots dangled sitting here tonight i still choke back the tears of disappointment and frustration this isn t my first rodeo with almost but not quite when it comes to promises and i ve come to know what will pop up next spray painted grass that s what i see the other side where the grass is greener the side where everything went as planned a field of grass that grows bright green and beautiful that piece of earth where the money never ran out and the world is fair where people get what they have worked hard for and the rain falls with perfect timing i know you know exactly what i am talking about because you have had to live in the tension between dangled carrots and spray painted grass yourself the truth about that grass it isn t really green it has been painted with idealism envy and a good old fashioned dose of imagination it is the futuristic version of what would have happened if everything would have gone our way the perfect interpretation of our plan before real life happens and just like that we are discontent with where we are the trinkets we carry as our own are no longer valuable our relationships don t sparkle with endless perfection our romances are tarnished with human flaws promotions at work that went to another suddenly make our job seem insignificant and that s the biggest problem with chasing dreams promises and grander plans sometimes they don t work out the way we want and we see our own grass as the enemy the other grass surely would have been softer never needed mowing and would naturally repel all insects so you could picnic in peace the people who live there are faultless and easy to love at least it looks that way from here but this place this place is work and pain trying and risking over and over it s loving the person in front of you when you have a very specific person in mind you d rather be loving this grass embeds thorns in your feet if you try to run through it carefree right now at 9pm i don t really love my grass it is poking me in all the wrong places and isn t growing the way i want it too but i am trying to remind myself that the other grass isn t real it is spray painted with deceiving filters and all the unwanted parts have been cropped out of the picture it s like instagram grass perfected by perception this little patch of field i will go to bed on tonight it is my home for now and i will be thankful for it the people parked on this side of the fence with me are my neighbors and they are just as worth loving as the people on the spray painted grass i ll wake up in the morning and will choose to enjoy...