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n the picture and she just smiled and gave me the usual response insha allah when we move back to libya you ll have a bedroom just like that clutching the magazine to my chest i turned away with a huge smile across my face fantasizing about my dream bedroom in the enchanting land called libya however despite thinking libya was the best country in the world i knew there was one problem about it gaddaffi the evil shaytan that lived there my parents called him a shaytan and hence being young as we were my siblings and i couldn t differentiate between the real shaytan iblees and gaddaffi in fact we thought they were the same person i remember a time when my family was eating dinner and my mother was reminding us to say bismillah before we eat she told us that if we don t say bismillah the shaytan would then eat with us my younger brother looked at my mother with a confused look on his face and innocently said but how can the shaytan eat with us if he s in libya as we got older and realized that gaddaffi and the shaytan were not the same person an intense hatred began to grow inside my siblings and i towards gaddaffi as it did with most libyan children who lived in the u s and were also deprived of returning to their country or were affected by gaddafi in other ways when the libyan children got together at the libyan picnics we talked about how we were going to be the ones who would kill gaddaffi when we grew up and then become the new leaders of the country we discussed the different ways we would torture him before we would kill him sounds brutal i know we even taught each other songs about gaddaffi and sang them together one specific song that i will never forget is wa7ed etnan tlata gaddaffi beshnabata yakil fil makroona wa hikki kubra 3youna always making sure that we drew circles with our hands around our eyes when we sang the last part the hatred my siblings and i felt for gaddaffi was so intense that on the occasions when someone in the community would go for hajj or omrah and bring us back some zamzam water we always made sure that the du aa we made while drinking it was ya allah please let gaddaffi die holding our half filled tea cups we would repeat the du aa over and over again with each tiny sip we took it was as if the mere purpose of drinking zamzam water was to make that du aa when i was 12 years old my family moved from the united states to the united arab emirates my relatives from libya then began to visit us and always had many disturbing stories to share about gaddaffi and what he had done to the people and the country it was then when i slowly began to understand the reality of libya and the picture perfect idea i had about it shattered i was still proud to be libyan but i didn t feel it was the best country in the world anymore i didn t think that people who weren t libyan were unlucky anymore on the contrary i thought my family and i were unlucky for having a brutal dictator as a leader and for being deprived of visiting our country every summer all my syrian egyptian kuwaiti etc classmates would visit their country while my family and i were stuck in the extremely hot summers of the u a e alhamdillah in my early twenties i was finally blessed with the opportunity to visit libya and even had the chance to live and teach english there the time i spent in libya was an eye opening experience for me and gave me a very good feel on how gaddaffi s brutality and tyranny affected the libyans emotionally spiritually and psychologically one thing that struck me most about the libyans especially the libyan men was their lack of patriotism most libyans hated libya and everything about it they were always trying to figure out a way to move to america or europe and would jump at any opportunity to do so whenever i asked my students what their dreams or ambitions were their response was always the same get married and move to america to be frank you couldn t blame the libyans for feeling that way there was not much to be proud of gaddaffi didn t develop the country in any way since he held power in the late sixties and any attempt to develop the country by the people was immediately stepped on he killed the people s ambitions skills and talents he made life difficult for everyone and any dream was almost impossible to achieve if you lived in libya certain rights such as getting married or going for hajj were extremely difficult for the average libyan to attain this naturally caused many libyans to give up hope on libya entirely in other words gaddaffi made sure he killed any sense of pride that the libyans may have felt towards their country although i had seen the reality of libya and could completely understand why most libyans weren t very patriotic the little girl that thought libya was the best country in the world still lived inside me and i always hoped and prayed that one day libya would prove to be a first world country subhan allah post february 17 2011 it looked like my prayers and the prayers of the millions of libyans were finally going to be answered the fight against gaddafi began and alhamdillah was looking promising despite the high price the libyans had to pay watching the freedom fighters on television liberating one city at a time i couldn t believe that they were the same men who only months earlier had no hope for libya and used to waste their days hanging around the corners of streets chatting away and smoking the libyans were already changing and libya was finally moving towards a new horizon not only did the libyan revolution give hope to the libyans but it also inspired the world a country that was barely ever spoken of and many had never even heard of prior to february 17th became top news on almost every news station suddenly the libyans all felt much more libyan and were proud of their country in a way that they had never felt before the chant arfa3 rasik foug enta leeby 7ur hold your head up high you are a free libyan could be heard in almost every corner of libya as i got the chance to visit tripoli less than two weeks after its liberation i was able to witness the pride in people s faces and hear it in their voices speaking partly from a personal point of view partly from the good that i saw during the three weeks i spent in tripoli after its liberation and partly from the voice of the little girl inside me i believe with all my heart that libya will have a flourishing future and insha allah will one day become one of the most prosperous countries in the world it may take a lot of time and it may not even happen in our lifetime but it will happen insha allah allah swt says verily with hardship there is ease 94 5 the death of gaddaffi and the liberation of libya is just the beginning of the ease that the libyans will experience after 42 years of hardship and the magnitude of the ease is usually in proportion to the severity and intensity of the hardship imagine the ease and reward allah swt has in store for libya and the libyan people insha allah on a final note this year i was alhamdillah blessed with the opportunity to perform hajj after walking into the haram and making du aa in front of the ka bah i went towards the zamzam water coolers as i picked up a cup of zamzam water and brought it to my lips i remembered the du aa for gaddaffi s death that i used to make when i was a little girl every time i had the opportunity to drink from zamzam water i couldn t help but smile when i realized my du aa was finally answered and that i won t need to make that prayer anymore instead i made a silent prayer for the future of libya and took a sip of the holy water tweet posted by lebeeya at 5 35 pm 12 comments november 23 2011 happy holidays one of the things i love about living in oman is that they are so very generous with holidays new hijri year 3 days off eid one full week off the national soccer team won a big match a day off the president woke up on the right side of the bed a day off no wonder the country is developing in slow pace we have too many holidays and everyone knows that constant holidays make people lazy me the holiday for the new hijri year and national day start today and we resume back to work next tuesday according to the weather forecast we will be blessed with rain oh how i love the rain it just begs for a blanket on the sofa a hot cup of green tea latte and a good book i m hoping to get a lot done this holiday inshallah tweet posted by lebeeya at 11 08 am 2 comments november 22 2011 new powers the list of new libyan ministers has officially been announced i am so impressed with the following a ministry for martyrs has been formed sweet two women have been assigned as ministers power to the women four of the assigned ministers are close family friends this calls for a party tweet posted by lebeeya at 10 44 pm 3 comments november 21 2011 food intolerance i have good news and bad news good news i finally found out whats been causing me so much discomfort bad news i have to give up food i really like flashback to the 80s my mother found out i was allergic to dairy products so i grew up avoiding milk cheese and yogurt as a kid as i grew older i occasionally indulged in milk and other dairy products but very small portions flash forward to 2011 i started experiencing episodes of severe itching and hives i knew it had to do with something i was eating i just couldn t pinpoint what it was exactly logic in my head assumed that the very little dairy i was consuming was causing the discomfort so i completely stopped dairy but the episodes of itching didn t stop i took a food intolerance test impupro300 where they took some blood tests sent them to germany and told me to wait a few weeks before getting the results i finally get the results and found out what my body was unhappy with it turns out that my body does not tolerate soy vanilla pineapples cashews and lobster the imupro300 test included a detailed analysis of my body s reaction to those 5 types of food results showed that my soy allergy and vanilla allergy were very high they have a grading system out of 5 1 being the lowest 5 the highest soy and vanilla were graded 4 while pineapples cashews and lobster were graded 2 the doctors recommended i cut soy and vanilla from my diet completely while the other three that were graded 2 could be consumed on a very moderate basis now giving up lobster is a piece of cake i think i ve only had it like twice in my life but cashews and pineapple are like my two favorite things to snack on vanilla means that i will have to eliminate all types of sweets from my diet i m kinda liking this because it will help me stay slim but the biggest challenge will be cutting off soy first of all i absolutely love chinese food which is 100 soy based i think they use soy in every recipe second of all soy is a major part of processed food products and is used in all packaged and bottled goods everything from the gum i m used to my favorite bag of chips nandos sauce crying cereals salad dressings etc etc in other words i m screwed although its not a life threatening allergy it s so uncomfortable you feel like your skin is on fire i keep saying alhamdululilah at least i know now whats causing the allergic reaction and its just a matter of major dietary changes and reading the food ingredients labels on all products before i eat them i ve been reading up on soy and apparently soy is listed by the fda as a major food allergen and one of the most common allergies worldwide strange i don t know anyone allergic to soy do you tweet posted by lebeeya at 6 20 pm 7 comments november 20 2011 oh saif is that the peace sign you re trying to make with your hand i wanted gaddafi captured alive and put on trial so i could enjoy watching him behind bars in a court room but since that didn t happen saif captured and put on trial will be equally enjoyable the ntc wants saif s trial to be held in libya so do i i hope the icc doesn t come up with a million and one excuses about the libyan judicial system and its inability to ensure a fair trial for saif if the icc wants to hog the spotlight then they can monitor the trial and be involved in the process but under the condition that saif is prosecuted in libya s soil saif s capture is equivalent to removing the last disease in the country i hope the handful of gaddafi loyalists in the country snap out of their bubble and join hands with everyone else for a better libya inshallah the fitna stops after this my thoughts on saif s cut fingers although reuters confirms that he lost his fingers from a previous injury a month ago i hope thats just a cover story for what really happened the thuwar found him and chopped his fingers off slowly and painfully ouch ouch ouch tweet posted by lebeeya at 2 11 pm 10 comments november 16 2011 breaking point throughout the past decade i have worked for multiple companies and with each job i took up there came a point in time where i just couldn t stand my job anymore i started calling it the breaking point bp w hen i reach my bp i suddenly am convinced that i am bored with my job and begin a frantic job search this has happened to me many times in the past and it s strange because the breaking point is never triggered by a certain incident or accumulated negative experiences it just creeps out of nowhere after coming back from hajj i am convinced that i no longer want to work for my current employer there are many things i am committed to change after hajj and my job is one of them and so the job hunt begins tweet posted by lebeeya at 10 30 pm 2 comments flags of libya through the years 1842 2011 facinating tweet posted by lebeeya at 9 09 pm 4 comments november 10 2011 back from hajj this trip by far has been the most interesting trip of my life from the minute i set foot in saudi soil until i left it has been one interesting thing to the other no matter what you read about hajj or what you hear experiencing it is something totally different prior to my spiritual journey i decided not to take my camera or my blackberry i know if i did i would spend a lot of time taking pictures replying to emails answering work related calls and searching for the latest news from libya i really wanted to disconnect myself from the world and take advantage of every second i was there so unfortunately i have no pictures to share but i do have many stories to tell we spent 3 days in al madina before heading to makkah anyone that has been to al madina will completely agree when i say al madina is magical the spiritual atmosphere the peaceful lifestyle and the calmness of your mind are what make al madina so special i personally believe a few days in al madina are good for reflection before going to makkah the days spent there i literally spent in al masjid al nabawi i even took naps there so i didn t waste time walking from and to the hotel i lived on zamzam water and al madina dates al madina dates win the best dates in the world award during the 2nd day i vi...