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i ll make you a celebrity overnight thursday march 05 2009 moved http refurbishe blogspot com pop at 01 28 monday january 19 2009 yay i m hired minus away some dulan staff lunch breaks job s been treating me quite alright 7 h for opening phones packing phones smiling random chitchat plus j s booking out in 5 days oh yea life s good pop at 00 29 wednesday december 31 2008 between 23 59 50 of 31st december 2008 til the end of the fireworks display on channel 5 tv i was thinking about many things before anything i realized how alone it was to be sitting by yourself in your living room with your tv being the only source of noise and life around then i thought of calling polie because though i m beyong content with having just one friend i m afraid of being around nobody at all but i remembered that she was out tonight certainly happy despite whatever tiffs they had earlier that day and i wouldn t wreck that because it means a lot to me that she s happy when the fireworks started i wished i was out too such a beautiful night to spend away with your baby at marina barrage or somewhere pretty but no he was busy the part of me that wasn t wishing we could spend the starting moments of a new year together is so proud of him yes baby you looked so goddammed awesome up there still i was totally reminded of what the arrival of 1st january 2009 means 7 days to the 7th haha that was a bitter laugh it was an i fucking don t know what to say kind of laugh and as i watched the fireworks appear and disappear on the television screen i randomly realized that time keeps going and those passed can never be retrieved things that ve happened in the past will remain in the past be it the good or bad happy or devastating a show a breakup a quarrel a party an outing holding a hand a hug a kiss those who ve shared those moments with you may or may not remember it you ll probably never find out if they do or if it meant as much to them as it did to you so basically it s afterall quite pointless that things happen in the first place other than the feeling it gives you at that very particular moment really really wished we could have spent it together face to face and not separated by half the length of singapore a fucking screen i cry just a little because i think it s karma i d ruined someone s end of 2007 and having 2008 go like this for me is no doubt retribution renewed memories leading to attempts of such belated apologies aren t worth nuts i know that s why i ve learnt to let the past go really just move on there were so many things i d wanted to tell you to say sorry for to let you know i ve finally realized how much i ve taken you for granted all this while but the time s over bringing it up now would be plain silly but for what it s worth i m sorry for everything i didn t couldn t wouldn t do you ve been nothing but wonderful tolerant accepting but i was too caught up to figure that out i ve been too selfish ignorant and for the pain that it s caused i apologize once more this year well last year to be exact i thought it would make my parents happy if i stayed home countdown to the new year with them make up for the times i ve psed them to go out with friends whoelses and even more for the countless days i ve been missing from home during that period last year because i was so occupied with dance dance dance but it didn t work cos they went out to catch fireworks which i didn t cos i wanted to stay home watch j haha i think i m a little crazy sometimes maybe most of the time i m so inwardly confused i often do things for reasons i don t understand i love giving giving to a person whether or not it s appreciated or whether or not i m getting enough in return wait of course it bugs me if i don t but there s a part of me that thinks i actually take delight in being internally twisted like this at least you feel something and because happiness is so hard to find call it sadistic perhaps haha i m honestly quite tired to analyse anything anymore i m ageing getting uglier with every passing day and staying as sian as ever i don t understand how he or anyone else for that matter can stand me or even wanna be with me he doesn t need me i m just a shiny piece of chain hanging off the side of his pants he s got friends to attend to events to go for and practises to keep him busy lifestyles don t change but accessories do it s just a matter of time before you find another you prefer so single people are smart in a way they don t break since you can t lose what you never had goodnight world pop at 12 30 wednesday november 12 2008 two papers left and i think already think as are over things come and go whether they re the things we dread or the things we love life gives you weird thoughts sometimes most of the time my fringe s getting too long for my own good hides from lightning i really don t like lightning pop at 06 45 saturday september 27 2008 1 there are 30 questions 2 next to each number write only the name of the person who fits 3 answer one question with one name 4 don t tell the questions to anyone who isn t doing the meme ps if you agree to do the meme then i ll send you the questions pps i m only doing the meme cos the person wouldn t gimme the questions unless i did it aha lurrb 1 raises eyebrow 2 heather 3 fiona 4 shantini 5 cherylnn 6 elton 7 carolanne 8 natalie 9 jinghan allyssa i really can t decide 10 jinghan 11 jiehui 12 i think this is a trick question 13 jillian 14 girly my math teacher manly celestia 15 michelle haha 16 grandma 17 freddie 18 jinghan again 19 meigui 20 quite some but all in different ways 21 ah 22 mm 23 myself 24 charlyn 25 wanzhen 26 i cannot d ahee 27 allyssa 28 jiehuan 29 austin scarlett 30 damn tired pop at 02 32 tuesday september 23 2008 reason for the existence of sadness a peaceful painless way to death that we re afraid of reason for the existence of death so we don t have a chance to regret the things we ve done i realized that everything in the world makes sense after all pop at 11 32 wednesday september 10 2008 rainy ecp yo imissyoufuckloads hurry prelims hurry end pop at 07 36 121290 ijsngs drama blue njc wdance solaris 07s18pae wdance