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ip to main skip to sidebar lemony thoughts just letting the lemons pile up for now i ll make lemonade when i feel like it thursday august 6 2015 got control of my account again lol posted by lemon blossom at 11 58 pm no comments monday march 10 2008 is that really my god part iii ok now on to better documented books with actual historically verifiable sources i haven t read all of howard zinn s a people s history of the united states but what i have read has impacted my life more than i ever thought possible the first page is very powerful arawak men and women naked tawny and full of wonder emerged from their villages onto the island s beaches and swam out to get a closer look at their strange big boat when columbus and his sailors came ashore carrying swords speaking oddly the arawaks ran to greet them brought them food water gifts he later wrote of this in his log they brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks s bells they willingly traded everything they owned they were well built with good bodies and handsome features they do not bear arms and do not know them for i showed them a sword they took by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance they have no iron their spears are made out of cane they would make fine servants with fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want now this last thought wasn t just an intellectual realization like when you realize you are a parent of a trusting child and really could do whatever you wanted but don t because you know that would be wrong on so many levels oh no he acted on those thoughts as soon as i arrived in the indies on the first islands which i found i took some of the natives by force in order that they might learn and might give me information of whatever there is in these parts and as zinn points out what he wanted to know was where was the gold he knew they had gold because he thought he was in asia where they knew there was gold and also for the tiny gold ornaments in their ears he took the prisoners hoping to force them to tell him where the gold was unfortunately for them most of the gold were little bits in rivers which gave columbus the impression that asia cuba and china hispaniola were overflowing with gold he fictitiously reported back to spain hispaniola is a miracle mountains and hills plains and pastures are both fertile and beautiful the harbors are unbelievable good and there are many wide rivers of which the majority contain gold there are many spices and great mines of gold and other metals and also reported that the indians are so naive and so free with their possessions that no one who has not witnessed them would believe it when you ask for something they have they never say no to the contrary they offer to share with anyone he also asked the queen for a little more help and he would send as much gold as they needed and as many slaves as they ask for on his next journey home thus he wrote the eternal god our lord gives victory to those who follow his way over apparent impossibilities to make a long horrible story short half of the 250 000 arawaks died due to murder mutilation or suicide hands were cut off when gold was not found to frighten others into finding it how can they find something that does not exist there and ferocious dogs were used to help keep them in line by 1515 there were around 50 000 arawaks and by 1550 there were 500 by 1650 there were none left their lives were so bad that they eventually stopped procreating because the men and women were so depressed and exhausted n ewborns died because their mothers had no milk some mothers even drowned their babies from sheer desperation as a mother who dearly loves her children and who would do anything in my power to keep them safe i can t even imagine the horrible lives these women had to live to lead them to kill their babies to protect them so they didn t have to live in such horrible cruelty now i know that columbus lived in a time when slavery was accepted and thought to have god s stamp of approval but if my god is really a just and loving god an omnipotent omniscient loving god then wouldn t he be a bit more ahead of the times and find someone who did not believe in slavery to find his chosen nation do i really believe in a god who would not only allow for this to happen but plan it isn t my god supposed to agree with the articles of faith his church professes to believe and only only punish each man for his own transgression and not for adam s or for their fathers happy columbus day posted by lemon blossom at 6 11 am 7 comments sunday march 9 2008 what i hate about dreams when the heater has dried out your nose and you can t breathe and you spend your whole dream trying to blow your nose so you can and nothing works when you have to go to the bathroom and you spend your whole dream trying to go to the bathroom and again nothing works when you have to go to the bathroom and you spend your whole dream trying go to the bathroom and you succeed only to find that you wish you hadn t fortunately with the last one i don t ever remember having succeeded posted by lemon blossom at 7 54 am 3 comments saturday march 8 2008 conversations with a 5 year old me do you remember when we were talking about the silent e at the end of a word well the t in listen is also a silent letter him oh you mean it s just supposed to shut up and not say anything me giggling uh yah it s just supposed to shut up and not say anything 1 2 wielding the toys they ve turned into swords and shields and running around the house 1 i m the king of the world 2 me king too 1 yah 2 yah me all right you finished your homework good job sweetie 1 mama i want to do more homework me well sweetie we don t have any more right now and it s actually time to get ready for bed i promise we ll do more tomorrow 1 getting grumpy i want to do more homework right now me thinking this can t be my kid posted by lemon blossom at 10 24 am 3 comments sunday march 2 2008 is that really my god part ii i believed my whole life that columbus was a good and righteous man led by god to america so god s righteous people could again inhabit the land i believed that we were sent here by god not only to obtain god s chosen nation but to help the lamanites change their wicked ways and know god again i believed that god had cursed the lamanites and that after the pilgrims came here so many died of disease because he wanted them humbled so they would see the error of their ways i believed that the pilgrims were right in obtaining the land that they did and that it would help the indians to humble themselves the following found in the book of mormon support the righteousness of columbus and the pilgrims here is 1 nephi 13 10 16 10 and it came to pass that i looked and beheld many waters and they divided the gentiles from the seed of my brethren 11 and it came to pass that the angel said unto me behold the wrath of god is upon the seed of thy brethren 12 and i looked and beheld a man among the gentiles who was separated from the seed of my brethren by the many waters and i beheld the spirit of god that it came down and awrought upon the man and he went forth upon the many waters even unto the seed of my brethren who were in the promised land 13 and it came to pass that i beheld the spirit of god that it wrought upon other gentiles and they went forth out of captivity upon the many waters 14 and it came to pass that i beheld many amultitudes of the gentiles upon the bland of promise and i beheld the wrath of god that it was upon the seed of my brethren and they were cscattered before the gentiles and were smitten 15 and i beheld the spirit of the lord that it was upon the gentiles and they did prosper and aobtain the bland for their inheritance and i beheld that they were white and exceedingly fair and cbeautiful like unto my people before they were dslain 16 and it came to pass that i nephi beheld that the gentiles who had gone forth out of captivity did humble themselves before the lord and the power of the lord was with them so you see it was all supposed to happen god knew it would happen and planned it that way and wanted it to happen it s ok that they knowingly gave the native americans blankets with small pox on them because they were righteous and it was god s plan it s ok that the native americans were kicked off of their land and weren t given back land they were promised because it was all part of god s righteous plan to humble them and bring them unto him and the gentiles pilgrims who were in captivity and were wrought by the spirit to come here i was always taught that all they wanted was religious freedom they wanted to be free to be righteous people and live in a land where everyone could be free to live as they chose freedom is what it s all about baby well sort of i ll write more about this as soon as i find the source again but i have learned that it wasn t all about letting everyone decide how they each wanted to live those who came here were building god s kingdom and that couldn t be done very well if there wasn t complete unity there was actually little tolerance for religious nonconformity in early colonial america that s not the same colonial america i grew up believing in so what else is new posted by lemon blossom at 9 00 pm 4 comments sunday february 24 2008 is that really my god part i i have been working on this for awhile and decided to post what i have or else i will never post it in 1492 columbus sailed the ocean blue he was determined faithful and righteous he was led by the spirit of god in his desire to sail the oceans and to gain wisdom and knowledge he was led by god to the americas so that his blessed children could live in a blessed nation one he created just for them the righteous columbus had to go before the king and queen of spain who turned him down at first but were then moved by his effervescent righteousness and the spirit unknowingly of course they were evil gentiles who couldn t understand god you know columbus was so righteous he was chosen before coming to this earth and he fulfilled his mission and then his righteous people sailed across the ocean to his blessed land just read about it in the book of mormon these are the things i learned about columbus through school and church i celebrated columbus day subconsciously smugly knowing that i had been righteous enough to be born in his chosen nation in his chosen true church those poor people who were not they could not celebrate the same freedoms and blessings i did well if they lived righteously enough god would bless them man was i subconsciously a judgmental jerk then i took my american society sociology class and that change my life forever my professor has a famous at least in the sociology department where i went to school columbus lecture that just blows you away i had sort of already given myself permission to question the church i made that decision in the temple but that s another story for another time and start looking for answers but hadn t really taken many steps on my own yet by the end of the lecture i thought to myself is this really my god do i really believe in a god that would do that or call a man righteous who would do that or lead him and other here knowing they would do those things would he really punish the lamanites as he said he would for their fathers sins no that is not my god it was liberating and frightening here is the complete 1492 poem in 1492 in fourteen hundred ninety two columbus sailed the ocean blue he had three ships and left from spain he sailed through sunshine wind and rain he sailed by night he sailed by day he used the stars to find his way a compass also helped him know how to find the way to go ninety sailors were on board some men worked while others snored then the workers went to sleep and others watched the ocean deep day after day they looked for land they dreamed of trees and rocks and sand october 12 their dream came true you never saw a happier crew indians indians columbus cried his heart was filled with joyful pride but india the land was not it was the bahamas and it was hot the arakawa natives were very nice they gave the sailors food and spice columbus sailed on to find some gold to bring back home as he d been told he made the trip again and again trading gold to bring to spain the first american no not quite but columbus was brave and he was bright posted by lemon blossom at 7 34 am 4 comments tuesday january 22 2008 and you give yourself away i had a very disturbing dream this morning that i had to write down and since it was written down i thought i would post it i recognize that some parts of my dream as so wacky that if other parts weren t so painful i would most certainly be laughing please feel free to laugh cry or just shake your head in pity at my weirdness it starts out with me dreaming that i am having a dream i am inside a building without my family but with many other people i start to feel a sense of foreboding and fear and so i start to look around me to see what is wrong when i see what is wrong the fear inside of my chest begins to squeeze around my heart there are at least three very large angry black and brown bears loose in the building attacking people i panic and start running for the other side of the room and crouch down next to the wall in my dream my view pans out and i see my purse sitting on the floor forgotten and i see myself crouching on the floor along with many others and hoping that if i stay still that the bear will leave me alone he does not and i know things do not end well for me next in my dream i am in a class room in the same building getting ready to take a test and the professor is showing us something on the overhead i am unable to sit and listen well because of the dream i had and that i didn t have a pencil with me i decide to stay after the class to get some one on one information with my professor and find that he is dancing tae kwon do moves and tells me to do them with him or i will fail the class i am embarrassed and hesitant because i have no idea how to dance but i know that my professor knows that once i start dancing my body will know what to do so i take off my shoes and slowly begin dancing tae kown do as well our bodies soon begin to synchronize and i suddenly seem to know things i hadn t known before i had some sort of new connection to the universe i knew my professor was in love with me and i saw that he wanted to touch his forehead to mine and tell me so i knew that i didn t love him and if i professed such that i would ruin his life as well as mine i knew that there was another professor who had attended the class who was also now hiding behind some chairs and watching us specifically to be able to dance with him as i was dancing with him because she was in love with him and he didn t know it she was angry with me for taking he...