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Text of the page (random words):
omments a couple of weeks ago i went on a date with a man who was very hostile he had asked me out without knowing anything about me but by the time i arrived at the café he had googled me and decided he didn t like me i know this because he immediately began criticizing my opinion writing he only believed in facts my public profile he is very introverted and my social media use he doesn t even have a fb page he should have cancelled the date but instead he arrived barely looked at me and then left after a cursory 29 minutes i would not wish to repeat the experience why am i telling you this because this my friends is why i don t read the comments on my articles reading the comments on the big websites i write for is like sitting down to coffee with someone who can t stand me they don t know me but they hate everything that i represent i don t want to subject myself to people who don t like me and so i choose to stay away let me explain yes there are some positive comments on big websites but for the most part people don t comment a lot when they agree with an article they might share it on their social media feeds or press the like button or even message me about it but they won t bother logging in to the site and leaving a comment people log in and leave a comment most frequently when they are angry and they are angry when they strongly disagree with the thesis of a piece and when they strongly disagree with the thesis of a piece they often decide the writer is a moron an idiot an insert your choice of insult here because angry people don t see shades of grey they see right and wrong and if the writer is wrong then they must be bad and so these commenters tell me how bad i am they tell me how wrong i am they tell me in all sorts of colourful language with all sorts of capital letters under all sorts of social media handles most frequently anonymous and they are allowed to do that just like the dude i dated was allowed not to like me but i didn t have to date him and i do not have to read the comments it doesn t enrich me to read negative comments about my pieces it frustrates me to read comments about me that are not true and it frustrates me more that there is nothing i can do about it and it depresses me no end to know that people like these commenters exist people who are homophobic anti feminist anti choice racist or anti whatever it is i have written about at the time now it s true that there may be a useful comment in there somewhere it s true that someone may have a point of view that would enlighten or inform me but sadly i would have to wade through hundreds of insults to get to it and the cost benefit equation doesn t add up in my favour when i stay away from comments this frustration doesn t exist when i stay away from comments these people don t exist and whilst i know intellectually that they are still out there just like the dude who didn t like me still walks this earth i don t have to experience the frustration and sadness they bring to my life happily i still have this facebook page where people can leave a comment and communicate with me directly for the most part people are polite and friendly on my facebook page partly because they usually choose to visit my page if they already like my work and partly because commenters are easily identifiable on facebook people are far ruder when they are shielded by anonymity than they are when you can see photos of their children but until such time as commenters are accountable on websites i will continue to shield myself from their onslaughts i am just a writer doing my job and i would rather sit down for a coffee with someone who likes me than with someone who wants to tear me apart posted by kerri sackville at 5 36 pm 8 comments labels blogging comments twitter criticism dates dating facebook writing december 18 2015 stop it please we don t need to know ex girlfriend of former bachelorette dude rants on social media about how he hurt her read about it if you can be bothered it s all here personally there is little i care about less but what i do care about is the way people air their personal grievances on social media why do people do this when did private lives cease to exist and how will anyone ever be able to trust anyone again if we all just run to social media every time we are hurt or disappointed i see it all the time on facebook and twitter and instagram celebrities and regular people with or without huge followings sharing with the entire online universe the most intimate details of their lives the dates the sex the passion the hurts the breakups the betrayals the disappointments the fights it doesn t sit well with me as someone who literally makes a living from writing about my life i am very very clear about my boundaries and let me tell you i m sure it s cost me a click or two i could fascinate you all with tales of my romantic adventures over the past couple of years i ve had highs and lows you wouldn t believe or maybe you would you ve seen similar scenarios played out on other people s accounts ad infinitum i ve had great sex and awful sex i ve been deeply in love and hideously hurt i ve had fantastic first dates and quite shockingly bad ones i ve had all sorts of experiences that i could have played out blow by blow on your social media feed but i haven t and i won t because it s just plain wrong it would be undignified for me it would grossly unfair to the men involved it would be humiliating for my kids and parents and most importantly of all it is none of anybody s business why would i need complete strangers to understand my perspective on a relationship how would that help my pain or healing or allow me to move on with my life and whilst yes there is a definite salacious titillation in knowing why two people broke up i mean which one of us hasn t wondered about tom and nicole or princess di and charles or jennifer and brad how does it help the actual parties themselves to share their secrets online have some dignity please keep your private lives private the world doesn t need to know every single detail of your lives and we also don t need the inevitable bouncing back from heartbreak stories or the brave jilted girlfriend rocks bikini body on beach but trust me people they are on their way posted by kerri sackville at 11 13 am no comments labels divorce fame interview life love relationships sex thoughts twitter december 4 2015 end violence against women on tuesday i was sitting in a coffee shop with my friend lana reading a post by the journalist clementine ford she had compiled screen shots of some some just some of the horrendous abuse she received from men and the odd woman around the world for daring to express her opinions and for defending herself when attacked online i was stunned by the vitriol stunned by the hatred stunned by the language c t slut whore rape threats threats of violence it was horrifying what was even more horrifying is that so many of these men used their real names their social media profiles showed pictures of them smiling with their families or linked to facebook pages listing their hobbies and interests there were pictures of dogs and friends and holidays this is how little they fear consequence or retribution because there is no consequence online it was not me being attacked i tend to fly under the radar when it comes to online abuse i write about parenting and relationships and life and anxiety and just don t attract that kind of attention but those messages reflected such a profound misogyny such a deep seated contempt of women that the actual target was irrelevant when you attack women with those kind of words you attack us all everyone gets abused online from time to time men also get abused online but men are not threatened with sexual violence men are not threatened with harm towards their families men are not degraded and intimidated into silence i couldn t bear it i couldn t bear the fact that people feel they can attack women in this way i wanted to do something i wanted to show my support for clem but not just for clem for all women who are abused online and so i gathered some friends i asked that we each tweet the names of the offenders listed on clem s post or at least the names of some of the worst offenders i asked that we use the hashtag endviolenceagainstwomen and link to her post so people know what we are dealing with please note that we do not wish to abuse or threaten or slander these men we are simply naming them as being the authors of abusive tweets their messages stand for themselves i wanted to stand up and say that this is not okay that this kind of abuse will be noticed that there are consequences that we will stand together and support each other that when you attack one of us you attack us all by this morning my little group of friends had grown into a group of hundreds and it keeps growing you will see our tweets and read our facebook posts if you wish to support us please share this post and others like it if you are on twitter please retweet our tweets or cut and paste them into your own timelines i don t believe for a moment that this will change our culture of violence i don t believe for a moment that this will end violence against women but it s a start a small step a show of strength and support you have to start somewhere we are starting here today posted by kerri sackville at 8 57 am no comments labels abuse blogging change clementine ford evil men women november 24 2015 i admitted to not liking gaytimes i never expected this in a recent facebook post i admitted to not liking gaytimes the ice cream not the physical expression of same sex love but really the reaction would have been less vitriolic if it had been the latter i have never been subjected to such violent abuse in all my time on the net there was disbelief denial pathetic justifications outright condemnation i was unfollowed dropped begged to delete my post and asked to think about my mistake but still in the end jono had the last word and with that it was over posted by kerri sackville at 10 18 am no comments labels abuse blogging criticism ice cream november 21 2015 drop roaches a tale of extraordinary courage we were running late of course i was taking my 16 year old son and his friend d to the opera house to see the pokemon symphonic and we needed to leave ten minutes ago i unlocked the car and the boys got in nooooo there are cockroaches screamed my son aagggh screamed his friend and they were right three huge cockroaches were scampering across the floor of my car oh god i cried we fled the car i ll fix it i bolted inside and emptied every cupboard of my house in a frantic search for bug spray there was none oh god so i grabbed the next best thing hair spray i was dashing out to the car with the hair spray held optimistically aloft when my neighbour appeared at her door smells of a delicious chicken dinner wafting behind her i need your bug spray i yelled she looked a little surprised she is a lovely woman and grandmother of several and probably isn t accustomed to being screamed at on her own doorstep but she handed it over i ll give it back later i called over my shoulder and ran back out to the car there i found the teenage boys being well not as brave as one might hope i m not getting back in there my son announced ever yes you are i yelled we were even more late and i had spent a fortune on the tickets here we ll spray them and they ll die so i sprayed i pretty much emptied my neighbour s spray within the confines of my not so big car the fumes were toxic which was good really as that probably meant the cockroaches were dead or we would pass out and be immune from their fearsome powers the roaches disappeared and so we felt strong enough to proceed i put the keys in the ignition the boys put their feet up on the seats and off we went i was on a main road heading towards the city when my son began screaming mum it s on the ceiling it s right above you nooooo i cried oh my god no it s falling he yelled it s a drop roach oh god it s on your back help i screamed frantically all the while keeping my foot on the pedals and guiding the car vaguely in the right direction oh my god and then my son s friend d came to the rescue stay still he pointed the bug spray at my back and fired got it the roach fell down somewhere i don t know where i pulled over and collapsed shaking by the side of the road thank you i whispered no worries he said cheerfully i m in the rifle shooting team at school we went to the concert and had a wonderful time and today obviously i buy a new car posted by kerri sackville at 9 28 am no comments labels car embarrassing moments fear november 12 2015 i was asked to write for free for a funeral planning site and this is what happened firstly the email and my responses hi kerri i am researching online for possible opportunities for my client to share content with within her industry her new website is redacted she has been in the funeral industry for a very long time and wanted to start a truly independent resource for people going through a funeral or a tragic loss as counselling is a huge part of that i thought your site would be a great fit as you are a very successful writer i wondered if you would be willing to maybe write a blog post for her site i understand you may get a lot of these requests from agencies looking for links but we really are after quality content sharing with or without links we believe if we provide quality and genuine helpful advice people will link to it when they need to would love the opportunity to chat further if you are interested regards name redacted me what are you able to pay him hugs and great content me seriously help me out here as i just don t get it you re asking a professional writer to write for free for a funeral planning site him yes i wanted to offer you a chance for more exposure to your site also so i turned to twitter to vent my frustration and the reaction was awesome yup posted by kerri sackville at 3 55 pm no comments labels blogging criticism funny moments writing older posts home subscribe to posts atom like it share it picture bio find me here title social media follow my blog title add your email to get my posts straight to your inbox awesome huh posts you loved title best ever posts meeting simon baker yes it is true after years of writing about my lust for simon baker as is evidenced here in any of these posts and in my book i d each to her own say no to sixty minutes so this morning i am trying to get ready as well as get my three kids fed dressed kissed and to school on time when an ad for sixty minu who the f k doesn t like pizza yesterday was pinkela s tenth birthday and on saturday night i held a party for her ten girls ten nailpolishes pizza movie and cake a letter of resignation to my family friends after around thirty seconds consideration and with a heavy heart i have decided to resign from my position as i a...