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them nor did i expect that so very many would feel exactly the same and be bold enough to admit their ignorance a close friend with me quickly reasoned that this might not have been the best choice for a commercial for a superbowl audience he was content with that to put the fault on coke for their poor choice in many ways i do not disagree when you awaken to the controversy on the facebook you realize what a bad advertising choice this was for coke but a fantastic progressive choice it was for them while it may or may not prove to sell more coke they took a chance they saw the country moving forward enough to create this conversation it s a conversation i literally am astounded to even be having but they truly believed that enough people already get it that this might be a good move at the end of the day you really have to remember they aren t here to change minds they are here to sell a product they really thought this would appeal to the majority or if not at least stir an exciting conversation and it is they actually spent money on this to air during the actual superbowl and not simply on youtube the week prior i hate to have to type it out but i am writing a blog on it so 1 america is made of people from every country on the face of the earth we did not all just magically pop up on this land 2 several of those people had to learn english and live in a brand new land in order to enjoy the freedoms many of their ancestors fought for something most americans never will do try moving to a brand new country and lasting more than a few months especially in countries with less freedoms than usa 3 people singing about how beautiful america is in any language at all is joyous it s testament to their genuine love of america s beauty and it s people wha 4 how many of you are here because of your ancestor s coming here confronting much more hatred than these folks now 5 it is not a threat to you or your american ness it is a beautiful celebration of it sheesh really posted by jm at 11 01 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels advertising america americans coca cola coke commercial dialogue english free freedom immigrants language pepsi pop rights soda superbowl u s a united states of america friday may 3 2013 just call me tubs have you ever felt absolutely disgusted with your own body in general and then mortified by what you see when you look at pictures of yourself only to revisit those photos years later and wished you could be that thin again because you are currently feeling exactly the same way or worse were you ever actually as heavy as you thought will you ever be happy with your body as it is right now i rarely have been i love food too much to be anorexic but never really binged enough to need to purge but i definitely have a disorder a body disorder is that a thing do all women have that here in america i apologize as i realize i am just asking a lot of questions and i am not examining uncharted territory by any means we know the deal our culture does not appear to welcome real women s natural bodies for some bizarre reason of course you find out in reality that nearly every body type is desirable to someone somewhere and because there are a lot of someones all over this country and the world we are actually just fine two of my most satisfying supportive relationships have occurred when i have felt overweight including right now realizing this still doesn t help my own body image and that is just silly there was one point in my life i acquired some peace on this issue i bought a book the idiots guide to yoga i read a lot of the book and looked at the pictures but didn t really practice any of the positions one thing that really resonated with me was the information about it s connection it s buddhist philosophies of eliminating negative thoughts words actions to others but most importantly to yourself for the first time in my life i realized how terrible i had been to myself all those years if any friend of mine were saying the things that would go through my head every time i caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror to me i would definitely rethink that friendship so i did the same for myself that summer was terrific for me i had some extra time on my hands and was able to fit in truly mini workouts almost all week 20 minutes a day no kidding but i definitely was eating whatever the hell i wanted and i lost 10 pounds in a month this was many moons ago and i have experienced a few gains and losses since but my happiest moments with myself have been when i did not permit these negative thoughts words to myself about myself when i let myself truly enjoy everything i ate whether good for me or bad and didn t punish myself i have maintained a very happy weight with myself using this method so why am i writing about this i have recently been rehearsing for the brand new off broadway production of spandex the musical i suppose that may explain a lot right there but for those of you who weren t around in the 80 s aerobics was the fitness craze which swept the nation the wardrobe of choice was a breathable stretchy fabric called spandex my role in this musical is that of linda a housewife mother in her 40s who has lost her figure but mostly her confidence and herself she finds her power once again through the inspiring friends she meets at aerobics and while competing in the national crystal light aerobic olympics hosted by alan thicke inspired by real life events i cannot tell you the mental ride i have been on with this experience from the callbacks to getting cast to reading the script and realizing my character is referred to as tubs i have very conflicting highs and lows winning this role feels amazing as a performer but terrible as a woman what a bizarre dichotomy for an actress now i am also not 40 and people claim i don t look 35 which i am but i have been playing that older for several years now so i already am aware that casting often isn t 100 true to character descriptions but i can t help finding this experience so bizarre while i know my body is far from thin it definitely isn t what i see when i envision linda yet i could see why i might be perfect for her at the same time this experience is unique for me on so many levels one of which is the need for me to wear workout clothes in rehearsal 5 days a week with the end result being in actual spandex something i don t think i owned in the 80 s because i did not think i would look right in it even at 8 to pre teen i didn t think i could pull it off you stare at yourself in the mirror as you rehearse and think terrible thoughts about all your rolls and wonder what other people might think of you who clearly are paying no attention as they are doing the same thing to themselves only this time every time i caught a glimpse of myself and thought of how terrible i looked all i could think of was how right that made me for linda i have never felt so justified in this body i have never it is exciting and uncomfortable all at once i have been attempting to lose at least 10 pounds for the past 2 years and thought this might jumpstart that crusade the day we started rehearsals i started another diet and hoped that come opening night i could do the show without my sucky inny clothes as i call them otherwise known as spanx i thought this was when i was going to lose that 10 pounds how weird it felt though as i was now cast as someone called tubs maybe i shouldn t well have no fear the hectic schedule has made it very difficult for me to keep up with my diet and that weight has not come off and i still despise my belly every time i see it in the mirror i have been dying to share this experience with people not because i have some incredible insight to share but because i feel like most women with similar feelings never get to have this type of experience most american women never feel 100 perfect in the body they are in and that is a shame i still don t but i get to as i play linda who is taking control of her life and getting in shape sure she is doing aerobics but i like to think she is finding her success the only way i think anyone does by eliminating those negative thoughts which sabotage your efforts and truly loving and being kind to yourself it all reminds me of how we do have the power within ourselves to alter those thoughts which hinder our well being if i had lost that 10 pounds 1 or 2 years ago as i had been attempting and my body looked like i wish it did would i have booked this show probably not i won t lie i am still 100 terrified by any publicity shots that are coming or just at the thought of any of my friends and family seeing my imperfectness on display in spandex costumes in the theatre district just off broadway after several years doing some of my best work outside of nyc now my imperfections will be the most accessible in whatever press we get and obviously visible on stage every show i am uncomfortable with every inch of this but doing my best to identify with being so right to play linda a sweetheart of a woman who has to learn to love herself just as she is right now something we should all be doing all the time posted by jm at 7 16 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels aerobics body image body issues confidence excercise fat musical off broadway spandex spandex the musical theater theatre tubs weight weightloss wednesday february 27 2013 here comes the sun you all know the story girl visits nyc and it s love at first sight all she wants is to move to nyc and perform on broadway she just hopes that new york will take her in and be kind well okay anyone who saw my cabaret knows that isn t exactly what i had expected i knew it would be really difficult but hell if that didn t excite me even more the first time i set foot in nyc a pigeon shit on my head but i didn t care i expected it so i moved here and started my nyc romance like every exhilarating love affair i found passion inspiration creativity with just the right amount of hurdles and pigeon shit laced throughout to keep it a constant challenge chance for growth new york forced me to evolve in ways i never dreamed i would and learn exactly what i m made of though i knew my dream of broadway would be difficult i feel a little silly now saying that somehow deep inside i never doubted it would happen here i sit nearly 11 years later and well let s just say that dream feels 100 as challenging as it did the day that pigeon shit on my head people often would ask me in those first few years whether i was thinking about giving l a a try or did i miss pittsburgh my mom of course knew me best and could tell within that first year or so that i wasn t coming home that nyc was going to be my home for a very long time she saw my love for the city and continues to this day to support me fully in my pursuit of my dreams here all i have ever wanted that i just knew was in my grasp if i did the work was living in nyc and performing that was one thing i was sure of one thing i ve never been sure of is whether or not i d ever find someone to share my life with of course i grew up expecting that someday i ll meet someone because that is just what is supposed to happen but as i grew older it really felt like that part of my life might never be like it s supposed to happen and i honestly started to just accept this i knew i was likely going to live in nyc for the rest of my life and would most certainly be that crazy lady on the train with weird glasses wearing leopard pajama pants and talking to herself and that was okay by me my how life can through you for a loop sometimes without getting too crazy into the nitty or the gritty the important part here is that i did meet someone and that someone loves me and i am crazy about that someone and that someone lives out in new jersey so guess who s moving to jersey that s right it s me i know i am as stunned as you are which is the point of this post it wasn t an easy decision and again neither the gritty nor the nitty is necessary here but the exciting thing is i am so giddy to begin my life with this guy without all the commuting the thing i haven t been as excited about is leaving my nyc that is the tough part there are so many things i am frightened of as i prepare to make my commute to my city life sightly more difficult so there i am the day before i am to move 98 of my belongings from queens to jersey and i hop on the subway to meet my jersey boy in the city for a final saturday as an official new yorker dinner type thing i am a little melancholy as i have been with all my recent ny activities when i hear an accordion player step onto my subway car and start playing singing here comes the sun by the beatles now if you live in the city you know there are a cast of familiar characters you see on your trains every once in a while there is someone new but generally it s the same folks with the same old schtick well i have never seen this dude and i have rarely if ever heard any of them playing this song more importantly this is one of the few songs my jersey boy sang lead on in his old band i couldn t help myself as a smile spread from ear to ear and i heard the comforting words it s all right i begin to get out a dollar for this guy which i try to do when they genuinely make me laugh smile he had stopped playing and collected from someone else but was on his way over to me my head was down as i struggled in my pocket when suddenly he is hovering over me and loudly singing directly at me sun sun sun here it comes sun sun sun here it comes i gasped and giggled as he stopped and apologized for scaring me i gave him my buck and then he remained there playing some romantic tune you d hear if you and your love were being serenaded by an accordion at a little italian restaurant but i was all alone it was perfectly ridiculous all of it it was one of my favorite types of nyc moments i hadn t had one like that in a while and it came just when i needed it it felt like my old flame nyc was giving the thumbs up to this move with it s blessings reminding me that it will always be right here and that i will always be just as much a part of it only now it would be my slightly long distance commute so that girl moves to new jersey and it s all right posted by jm at 1 19 am 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels beatles boyfriend broadway challenge choices decisions elvolve fear here comes the sun inspiration jersey boy love new jersey nyc passion romance monday december 31 2012 yes i hear the people sing but what about the rest of the music i know you need another les miserables movie review like you need another facebook status mentioning someone s gym habits or other menial events but i am compelled to write this i am not going to summarize the plot of the movie like other reviews partially because you can google it and mostly be...