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was probably just lazy or didn t have much to say but then we had this planning meeting at work and i don t think i ve had a lunch break since that day i ve been going in early or staying back late or both most days some days i ve been in at 8am and not left til 7 or 8pm and with a nearly two hour commute on either side of my day i ve just been dead on my feet i thought at the start of the job when i wasn t getting home until 715 that i didn t have a life but for the past few weeks i ve been home at 9 and i walk in the door have a lean cuisine take a shower and pass out this craziness should pass in about a week and a half and then it ll go back to normal aka 12 5 hour days instead of 14 15 hour days we have about 150 students who have arrived or who are arriving shortly and all the work that goes in to getting them here and settled is incredible tomorrow saturday i m up at 5am to drive to sydney and go on an all day field trip to featherdale wildlife park and the blue mountains it should be fun but it s a long day the people i work with are all nice and helpful and have made me feel comfortable i feel bad any time i make a mistake because even though we aren t saving lives they are taken pretty seriously and with my long days and lack of sleep and stress i ve been making a few of them i hate that i like to be the best at whatever i do last week lc got married and i was in her wedding when i was at my old job i had originally planned to take the friday off and do wedding prep stuff with her with all the kids arriving right now i told her i couldn t take the day off because i had worked so long on the other days last week i thought for sure i d be able to take off by 4 4 30 and spend her last night as a single girl with her but just as i was hoping to leave a bunch of work got dumped on my desk i couldn t help it i went outside and cried i called her and explained the situation and she understood good friend but i felt like such a bad bridesmaid i don t mind working back or coming in early most days because i know stuff needs to get done but that day i had just had enough i ended up being at work until 7 and then when i got to the our home train station our car battery was dead so i didn t get home until 10 30 that night trying to plan a wedding and taking on this new job is hard there has been no wedding planning in 4 days we will be 4 months out from the wedding i should be planning i m not sure this was the right time in my life to take this job i had this feeling in my gut that it wasn t the right time but i didn t want to disappoint my parents at 28 i still want to be their good responsible kid i chide moth for being the same way but at the end of the day letting them down kills me the job is fine and i ll like it lots more when it calms down a bit that s not what i m saying but the timing of it is off i guess it s sink or swim time and i m doggy paddling my hardest the rescue ship is in sight and i m sure i ll be fine this probably reads like a drunk person wrote it and i m sorry if my thoughts have jumped around from this to that or if i haven t really explained myself coherently or in detail i m too tired to be writing at the moment but i wanted to update the blog so you knew what had been going on it probably sounds like i m having a big whinge which i kindof am but i m just still trying to adjust to this new lifestyle we talk to the kids at orientation about culture shock and i ve gone through aussie culture shock here plenty of times and reverse culture shock when i go back to california and i guess this is a version of culture shock commuter lifestyle culture shock hey only 15 000 more train rides until retirement posted by lilddownunder at 4 56 am 1 comment saturday april 14 2012 don t let your inhibitions guide your way update i started reading back through the blog last night and it was a lot of fun there were things from last year and the year before that i had completely forgotten about and reading about them again made me laugh and smile one of the posts i came across was my 30 before 30 list when i posted i had 4 5 years to complete the list now i have less than 2 i just wanted to post to let you guys know how i m tracking 1 get married i m engaged so well on my way to this one september 2012 2 find steady employment 3 lose weight i won t specify a number but it s intimidating i started weight watchers this past monday hopefully that does the trick 4 travel to south africa we were hoping to do this next year but it might have to wait another 6 months year since we now may have plans to travel to ca next summer instead see below in travel to julian goal 5 finally travel to melbourne 6 finally travel to the gold coast 7 visit 2 new states in the u s 8 paddle an outrigger canoe we did stand up paddleboarding in kauai last year which was pretty similar and super awesome 9 save enough money for a down payment on a house maybe after the wedding 10 buy starter and learn how to make really good san francisco style sourdough bread i researched this and didn t find anyone in australia that had the starter but i should look again as this place near wear sells san francisco sourdough i bought my first loaf this week and moth and i are hooked it truly is sf sourdough 11 learn how to make my own barbeque sauce 12 attempt to make mozzarella cheese at home 13 see a movie at a drive in theater 14 keep this blog going for at least another 2 years 15 do the majority of my shopping at farmers markets and try and eat more locally grown foods and foods that are actually in season for where i live only eat chicken that has been ethically raised i did this for a long time but our farmers market is really expensive and doesn t have a whole lot of product plus there isn t a ton of organic produce and a lot of the produce is already bagged and looks like the sellers went to the grocery store the night before bought the stuff and then were trying to pass it off as locally grown we do only buy organic chicken and milk these days and as much organic produce as we can 16 go on a long bike ride along the ca coast 17 buy a beach cruiser moth got me one for christmas 2011 18 go camping more often camp in the mountains near julian again like we used to every memorial day weekend growing up i camped twice last year that s gotta count as more right from zero to two 19 plant a fruit and vegetable garden maintain and harvest it have done this or attempted to do this the last two years we ve planted we ve maintained there hasn t been a whole lot to plant as our soil wasn t very good at the last place we lived at and we had a super wet summer that killed everything off just as they should have been fruiting 20 get a dog or 3 plus a cat some chickens a goat and one of those little teacup pigs we were so close to this one but with our commute i don t think it s fair to leave a dog here by itself for 13 hours a day 21 read michael pollan s 4 books in defense of food the omnivore s dilemna i m halfway through this one food rules and the botany of desire 22 smoke pot but only if it becomes legal in california seriously how did i get through high school without ever trying it i m a good girl is how it didn t get legalized 23 go on a whale watching trip in monterey bay 24 visit julian and my god parents again this should happen next august as one of my godsisters is pre engaged and has said the wedding will happen there then 25 go apple and or berry picking hopefully this can happen when i m in julian next august 26 see blink 182 in concert 27 third time s a charm finally see brand new in concert so so far i ve completed 7 goals 1 has been knocked out as it s still illegal plans are in place for 1 has been knocked out for now since we don t want pets we can t take care of properly 6 are in the works to happen in the next 12 months or so and 12 i really need to start thinking about anyone else done one of these lately if so i d love to see them or if you commented last time that you had started one i d love to know how you are tracking posted by lilddownunder at 4 12 pm no comments monday march 26 2012 now you re just somebody that i used to know i started this post before christmas and never got around to finishing it until now so sorry if it seems out of the blue i m not in the thick of these feelings now although there is a bit of lingering hurt i just hated having it sit there incomplete i read this quote in a magazine recently that really resonated with me in fact i tore it out of the magazine and now keep it on my car s dashboard as a reminder or at least i thought i had i just looked for it to use it here and it looks like it s become a victim of one of moth s car clean outs basically its message was that just because you used to be friends doesn t mean you have to continue to be friends simply because you have known each other a long time you should only continue to be friends with people who make a positive contribution to your life as i ve gotten older i ve stopped being a friend collector at this point i feel like a person is either a good friend or they re not generally i don t burn any bridges i just let people fade into acquaintance or less status and i give people lots of chances we re all human we all mess up sometimes and hurt the people we care about me included me especially sometimes it feels like but at some point i do reach a breaking point and say enough is enough you ve hurt me or let me down for the last time see until i moved here i didn t really know what it was like to have good girl friends girls who have your back 100 girls who don t flake out on you girls who don t gossip at least not a lot or in a malicious way because come on when you are close to someone you re bound to get on each others nerves every once in a while and say something in frustration or the heat of the moment i m lucky to have found that in the girls i call friends here my life is pretty drama free these days but if i were to need something i ve got a bunch of girls in my corner i know i could call for help from the time she was a young teenager my sister was fortunate enough to always make really deep and awesome friendships with girls as her life has changed she doesn t keep in contact with all of those good friends anymore but while they were in her life they were in her life and ready to go to bat for her and show up for her whenever she needed them her girls were her family when we weren t around i was always jealous of that now i have that on some level with my friends here too my sister is ballsier than i will ever be in a lot of ways she for example called out someone who was being a fair weather friend the person made a request for her and backed it with a do this for me because we are friends plea and nae flat out said to her no we are not a friend has your back no matter what a friend shows up you are only my friend when it s convenient for you you are an acquaintance ouch surely that must have stung the person a bit but you know what sometimes being a good friend is calling people on their shit oh man how i wish i could say that to a few people i think half of me would feel so empowered but maybe the other half of me would feel really crappy while saying that to her former friend current acquaintance may have forced some re evaluation on the acquaintance s part to try and work back towards a friendship the people i want to say it to it just wouldn t make a difference to and so i do things my way i bite my tongue i let myself be hurt and mourn the loss of what were once important friendships i let my contact with that person fade and i focus on all the people i do have in my life that build me up just because we aren t friends now doesn t mean you weren t an important person in my life at some point and just because you ve hurt me doesn t mean i won t still look back fondly on a lot of the memories we made together while we aren t friends any more i certainly don t want to be enemies either and i think biting my tongue and not expressing my hurt and avoiding potentially saying something that i can t take back is the best way to leave it even if it doesn t bring any closure to things posted by lilddownunder at 10 31 pm no comments labels being thankful ex friends friends older posts home subscribe to posts atom blogcatalog about me lilddownunder australia via california i am a 29 year old from southern california who decided to do a semester abroad in australia fast forward 8 years and i m still here this is my story of how i got here and life as it happens view my complete profile blog archive 2013 1 july 1 finding home 2012 12 october 2 july 1 may 1 april 1 march 4 february 1 january 2 2011 16 july 2 june 4 may 1 april 4 march 1 february 2 january 2 2010 107 december 5 november 3 october 4 september 3 august 7 july 10 june 13 may 7 april 8 march 16 february 11 january 20 2009 164 december 8 november 15 october 16 september 17 august 12 july 19 june 14 may 12 april 11 march 40 labels boyfriend 58 friends 43 fun times 33 recipe 33 awesome family 29 adventure 27 travel 26 santa cruz 25 animals 23 baking 23 work 23 love 21 awesome sister 20 weddings 20 beach 18 family 18 food 18 job search 18 cooking 17 winter 17 australia 15 sad 15 california 14 road trip 14 christmas 13 being thankful 13 cold 13 drama 13 random 13 sharks 13 weekends 13 africa 12 blog 12 parties 12 relationships 12 tv show 12 you re an idiot 12 san francisco 11 babies 11 diet 11 engagement 11 home 11 leaving 11 mexican food 11 party 11 walk 11 sydney 10 birthday 10 dinner 10 feeling sick 10 grandparents 10 bbq 9 cheap 9 driving 9 high school 9 music 9 alcohol 8 cravings 8 date night 8 hanging out 8 car trouble 7 cookies 7 drinking 7 fights 7 flying 7 money 7 surf team 7 surfing 7 vacation 7 mishaps 6 movies 6 moving to australia 6 shopping 6 teaching 6 4 wheel driving 5 orange county 5 death 5 driving in australia 5 getting drunk 5 hope 5 living on your own 5 photos 5 ridiculous australian prices 5 sweating 5 throwing up 5 weight 5 baseball 4 bodyboarding 4 busy 4 buy me stuff 4 costa rica 4 halloween 4 hippie stuff 4 holiday 4 kauai 4 losing someone 4 mexican 4 parents 4 singing 4 suicide 4 surf shop 4 hawaii 3 stockton beach 3 coffee 3 concert 3 crying 3 honeymoon 3 poor 3 scandal 3 sex 3 tears 3 zoo 3 old navy 2 yosemite 2 alcoholism 2 bachelorette party 2 born again christians 2 bras 2 fashion 2 giveaway 2 hen s night 2 moving 2 moving out 2 new house 2 packages from home 2 people i know 2 safari 2 substitute 2 sun burns 2 tequila 2 treasure hunting 2 weird australian food 2 wine 2 alcatraz 1 australian fashion 1 neighbours 1 obama 1 graceful like a deer 1 horse races 1 hotels 1 kidnap 1 new years 1 oahu 1 pasta 1 stealing babies 1 sites i check all the time fries with that rejenerate post secret elsja down under aussie erin surviving oz florida girl in sydney waking up in oz expat wives club kenya f my life michael k is awesome dlisted oh no they didn t four fou...