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ay april 25 2008 psssst follow me here posted by melissa at 9 15 pm 6 comments labels pregnancy 4 thursday april 24 2008 i dreamed of you i dreamed of a tall sensitive guy that would actually talk to me i dreamed of someone that would make me laugh stand up for me and make me a priority i dreamed of someone who was not embarrassed to introduce me to their friends and would take me places i dreamed of someone who would hold my hand affectionately in public i dreamed of someone that would give me adventure take me on trips enjoy spending time outdoors and would look for fun things to do around town i dreamed of someone that would call me during the day just because i dreamed of a respectful compassionate person i dreamed of someone that was interested in me and would support anything i did i dreamed of someone to carry me through difficult times walk beside me behind me or in front of me when necessary i remember describing the perfect man to a friend and after all my criteria was named that friend said you were my perfect man but i already knew that so on the eve of our little girl s arrival you must know that you are all of that and so much more as i ve told you before my life did not truly begin until i met you and i thank you for saving me i dreamed of you and you are mine i can t wait to start our new life together as parents of a sweet baby girl posted by melissa at 11 30 pm 8 comments labels my babe sunday april 20 2008 this post brought to you by the number five top priorities left 1 wash guest bedroom sheets for grandparents 2 find a kitchen cabinet for all her business 3 final grocery run 4 clean out my car 5 pedicure because these digits look busted five days posted by melissa at 11 23 am 15 comments labels pregnancy 4 wednesday april 16 2008 nine so many things to do so little time rest being the priority nine days until kallie makes her appearance these sharp stabbing electric no warning split you down the middle pains of your cervix changing are for the birds i ll take the spinal block now thank you posted by melissa at 9 48 pm 7 comments labels pregnancy 4 tuesday april 8 2008 showered with love x 2 again my sweet class gave us a baby shower complete with yellow ducks everywhere pictures are few as i will not post faces of my children however we all had a blast and things were out of control let me assure you thursday is my last day with these little ones and i am ready we also had a shower with the awesome families at my babe s fire station i adore each one of them and had so much fun the food was wonderful and just hanging out with everyone was perfect pictures are few here as well due to privacy but the wonderful photographer ct always does an amazing job capturing the essence of each event posted by melissa at 9 45 pm 7 comments labels pregnancy 4 tuesday april 1 2008 making peace with myself newsflash to self this is not a contest i am 5 inches from being okay with starting maternity leave on april 10th originally i hoped to make it to april 18th however i m worn down and nights are difficult i need to mentally prepare as my head is not in this game quite yet don t get me wrong i can t wait for kallie to make her appearance but i still have things to do and a husband to love on before two become three i toss and turn this concept through my head all day long it sounds a little like this guilt acceptance guilt who cares what others think guilt i deserve this considering our realm of loss guilt you re a fighter keep going guilt take time for yourself however i m ending quite often on the take care of yourself note especially since today was the due date for my sweet babies kinsey ryan we ve been through a lot the last few years and it s high time i respect that my deadline is friday as i am going to send home a note to the parents regarding maternity leave for now i ll keep turning it over in my head until that magic little genie inside my stubborn noggin finally says permission to take care of yourself granted and he s 5 inches away from saying it posted by melissa at 6 38 pm 11 comments labels pregnancy 4 wednesday march 26 2008 a bright ending to the day thank you secret admirer for my favorite flowers adorning my porch and making me smile this afternoon they are beautiful and changed my foul mood quickly posted by melissa at 9 41 pm 4 comments monday march 24 2008 jimmy crack corn and you guessed it i don t really freaking care kuddos to the ones that can feel great look great exercise speak kind words give a crap about what they wear breathe eat without wanting to spew walk around without fire inside of them clean their houses and smile during the last weeks of pregnancy clearly i am not one of them i can t even say the pledge of allegiance in the morning without becoming winded with each sentence and now that we say the pledge to the texas flag i m really screwed read a book to the kids ha that s a good one pointing out the craft of writing within high quality literature is far from my daily agenda walking down the hallway is about to require a hoveround the question is how far do i take this how far do i push my 4 11 frame to keep working when i am crawling to the bathroom in the middle of the night i want to work as long as possible to have more time with her once she s here so i ve got to stop whining be grateful although trust me i am with every breath of fire three weeks left of work suck it up posted by melissa at 9 14 pm 8 comments labels pregnancy 4 thursday march 20 2008 don t let the mother burn dear body i m not certain that you realize this so i will glady bring it directly to your attention there is a burn ban in effect in surrounding counties although our immediate area lifted their burn ban just days ago your potential fire will still create havoc if it is not squelched quickly quite frankly there is enough fire within my chest to light the entire state of texas and burn every living and nonliving thing in its path doesn t it concern you that our home backs up to a heavily wooded ranch do you think living with a firefighter gives you permission to torment me with a 24 7 raging burn is it okay to continue hurling food up my esophogus just for giggles no more i say spring began at 12 48am yesterday and while it typically brings rain highly capable of dousing a roaring bonfire to these parts of texas a torrential downpour near your awesome powers would be equivalent to spitting in hell and expecting dramatic results immediately this is really getting old and i respectfully request you extinguish this blaze permanently as i have dealt with your nasty ways for the past 19 weeks and that is a long damn time i tell you i have 5 weeks left and a little reprieve would be just freaking awesome and while you re at it getting over yourself and all talk to my hips too mmmm k respectfully but very seriously the landlord posted by melissa at 9 53 pm 7 comments labels pregnancy 4 wednesday march 19 2008 certainly couldn t have said it better myself scene the front porch chaos during school dismissal sweet 2nd grader mrs v are you going to have a baby me yes sweet 2nd grader without missing a beat i hope your baby doesn t die me pausing slightly honey me too sweet 2nd grader bye so matter of fact and so true 33 weeks today and the c section is scheduled please let this happen because i m not sure i could do this again if it didn t posted by melissa at 8 45 pm 10 comments labels pregnancy 4 tuesday march 11 2008 seriously it s getting tempting to be rude to people like this however it s not worth it w foods checker when is your baby due me in may but not soon enough w foods checker oh don t talk to me about that that s nonsense me i mean i just want her out safely w foods checker well i have four boys i breastfed one of them while pregnant with twins then when the twins came i breastfed all three of them at once and they were 6 pounds each what you ve got going on there pointing to my belly is nothing you don t know how hard it is until you carry twins to full term me yes that is certainly commendable posted by melissa at 8 32 pm 18 comments labels pregnancy 4 wednesday march 5 2008 showered with love x 2 my team my heart and soul at work gave us the most amazing shower at school last week every detail was perfect from the individually floral taped gerber daisies the cake that matched kallie s bedding to the to die for punch a slideshow and song set to kallie s nursery theme played while guests were arriving i can t wait to light kallie s candle that sat by the guest book along with the little tiny shoes and a poem my sweet team thoughtfully signed messages from the heart in kallie s twelve gifts of birth book and most of all the company was perfect my high school and elementary school friends also gave me the most creative shower with thoughtful touches at every turn on saturday i was greeted with a pink fuzzy mommy embroidered robe with matching slippers flip flops yeah and very soon the house was transformed into a spa students from a local beauty school came and treated us to manicures and pedicures of our choice the cake was a perfect match with kallie s bedding the flowers were beautifully arranged and fragrant and i am still craving creme brulee french toast after tasting the yummy food complete with a chocolate fountain a beautifully framed picture we had not even seen yet of my babe s hands and my hands around my belly sat in the entry way and kallie will forever read the framed quotes of my sweet friends that wrote why my babe and i would make good parents it was amazing posted by melissa at 8 45 pm 8 comments labels my team peeps pregnancy 4 monday march 3 2008 no horns thank goodness for that posted by melissa at 8 51 pm 10 comments labels pregnancy 4 monday february 25 2008 random bad vs good of today bad this morning started with nausea yes thank you third trimester good my nausea allowed me to eat a little bit for breakfast and a pretty big lunch bad while blow drying my curly hair straight my beloved chi hair dryer exploded i do not write explosion lightly good i ve been needing a new hair dryer and now i have no choice but to get one bad my belly button hurts and is sticking out profusely good we all had a good laugh when one of the kids said pointing to my belly button i think i see the baby s toe sticking out right there bad in a nauseated blur i waited for 2 hours and 15 minutes for my dr to see me for my 30 week appt good everything looks great bad my babe saw a turtle trying to cross hwy 620 a very busy road by our house and witnessed cars driving over him good my babe got out of his truck rescued him from danger drove to brushy creek and let him go that s just the way he is bad on the way home tonight police were trying to convince a man to come back over the bridge that he was threatening to jump off good i was reminded of the blessings in my life and took time to pray for his safety and soul bad my babe worked overtime today at the fire station good he is actually getting to come home tonight rather than spend the night at the station and that makes up for all the bad in the world tonight posted by melissa at 8 51 pm 5 comments tuesday february 19 2008 sleep won t hardly come sleep is a silly thing to request these days i feel as if i have hip dysplasia i have to sleep in an almost sitting position to avoid puking up my food all night my whole body aches and burns my varicose veins hurt like a beast and i can t breathe worth snot however all over the world right now people can t sleep at night many have just lost a child a husband a mother or father a loved one near and dear to their hearts some are going through the despair of divorce others are dealing with a terminal illness and pain that no medication or delivery date can fix many don t have a cozy bed and covers to wrap in some don t have a support system of friends to carry them through husbands and wives are far from their families at war a great deal will never be able to have children all of these people can t turn away from the worry and sleep is a dreaded nightly event as sleep eludes me at night i think of these people i think of just how lucky i am to have a strong marriage a healthy baby girl still growing loved ones safe and sound a cozy home and temporary discomfort i pray for them to find sleep but as darkness fades i easily forget to count my blessings and instead revert back to feeling grumpy irritated cheated and abused from all of these pregnancies and recurrent losses pain overcomes my mind and i forget how brief it really is in the grand scheme of life how soon this will all fade and a new kind of sleepless night will take over i pray i will carry my blessings throughout the day i pray that i will find strength like i used to have years ago to continue to endure pain i pray i will not complain as much and will find peace with the past i pray for those that have it far worse than i could ever imagine for all these things i pray each night when sleep won t hardly come posted by melissa at 8 04 pm 4 comments labels pregnancy 4 sunday february 17 2008 26 2 miles that is my babe ran his first marathon today like a first class champ it was super fun and i m excited already for the next one to top it off we arrived home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the front porch from an unknown giver they smell heavenly and look that way too thank you secret admirer posted by melissa at 10 00 pm 5 comments labels my babe thursday february 14 2008 recipe for the perfect marriage from the kitchen of mkv ingredients adventure affection commitment compassion faith happiness hope hugs kisses kindness laughter respect trust unconditional love find a tall dark handsome athletic caring smart guy make sure his name is tav marry him quickly before he gets away let him be adventurous laugh hug and kiss daily trust him in everything he does and have hope and faith the world will keep him safe respect him amazing work ethic and commitment to his family show affection kindness and compassion toward him in everything he does love him unconditionally enjoy a lifetime of happiness together i love you babe you are my everything happy valentine s day posted by melissa at 9 50 pm 4 comments labels my babe wednesday february 13 2008 28 the sweetest number 28 weeks today our ultimate goal her name is kallie zane posted by melissa at 10 54 pm 17 comments labels pregnancy 4 thursday february 7 2008 feeling just a wee bit trapped for the better part of three years i ve been growing humans 1 5 at a profoundly unsuccessful rate or at least until now to say that i feel limited maxed out abnormal and pretty much done would be a gross understatement i am thankful each and every second for a healthy baby girl measuring perfectly at 27 weeks for not having to be on bed rest for feeling pretty good and for the possibility that this really might work but let s be real now i m weary i m tired of being a doctor s science experiment my body does...