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to me steps out of her car wearing you guessed it some gizahs duh if heidi klum is wearing them they must be in yah so pretty much all this to say destiny wants me to get myself a pair and who am i to disagree with destiny posted by stephanie at 7 36 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels fashion mom life shoes wednesday june 11 2014 open plan so i guess almost year between posts in normal when you have a baby right here s hoping to a little more consistency as i now have a toddler how did that happen i love jenny s blog little green notebook and was perusing her posts last night when i saw this everything i love everything it literally took my breath away as i scrolled down looking at each beautiful image i realized my appreciation was not just for the style and aesthetic but also for the open plan i ve often been an open plan snob often clients ask me for a melding of the formal and casual spaces which can often look mish mashed and often times builder ready homes marketed to have open plans really just look like a great room with no delineation of space paintings above the sink but now that i am a mother and have a very busy toddler who always wants to be under my feet i am completely enamored with the concept of an open plan living space i mean wash the dishes in a closed off kitchen that s separate from the family room last week when i did that i found my 15 month old in the powder bath stirring toilet water with one arm up to her armpits and holding her can of puff snacks with the other i presume she was attempting chip n dip shudder gross fridge microwave beg area opening into the dining area so anyway i m a recent convert to open plan homes and this one does it so well those shades with the patterned draperies she s also a textile designer and that fabric is her own design love a woman who creates in several media you may have already seen these pics in domino of lauren liess s incredible renovation she tore down walls re configured the kitchen layout completely added a big beautiful island and made a bar fridge nook off to the side near the dining space it s so incredible the flavor of her kitchen just flows right into the open family room she did such an amazing job creating a large multi tasking space with style that flows i love how well she did that the space has such a great vintage country industrial vibe that is inviting unique and casual while staying stylish and cool i think those open iron shelves are my favorite too although i m still not convinced i could do open shelves in my own kitchen too many mismatched messy things i also love the barstools and that leather living room chair in the bottom left hand corner of this photo for more photos check out her blog here posted by stephanie at 8 41 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels design inspiration domino home tour kitchen wednesday august 14 2013 lessons from sleep training when i had a brand new tiny human placed in my arms at the hospital i vowed never to sleep train via the cry it out cio method what cruel mother would do that to her perfect little bundle of love and neediness i stood by that statement until 2 weeks ago when zoe turned 5 months and we had been dealing with the 4 month sleep regression for 6 weeks with no signs of changing i would rock and nurse zoe to sleep at bedtime and then do the dance of put her in her bassinet she wakes up and cries so i rock her some more we would do this about 5 times before she would stay asleep in the bassinet then she would wake up screaming every 1 2 hours all through the night early in the night i would repeat the rock and nurse to sleep routine but in the wee hours of the morning in my delirium i would give up and just put her in bed with me this didn t fix anything because she d still wake up every 1 2 hours i d nurse her next to me but she would have a hard time falling back asleep so i d hold her really tightly to keep her from flailing herself awake i would wake up the next morning more exhausted than before feeling like i d wrestled a baby alligator all night long and zoe would wake up cranky for the day too fun naptimes were equally fun because zoe had never self soothed she didn t know how to nap and she was growing and learning so much that nursing to sleep didn t happen during the day because she wanted to look at everything around her oh look a stuffed animal over there oh look your bra strap is interesting oh look the sunbeam on the wall is so cool seriously i would usually give up and strap her in my ergo cover her head so she couldn t see anything and do chores or something to rock her to sleep so yah my days were super relaxing lots of moms recommended just taking a nap with zoe but that didn t work because i couldn t actually get her to sleep on the bed with me she was too distracted one morning after wrestling my baby alligator all night long i turned to taylor and confessed the secret resentment that was beginning to grow towards my perfect little baby that little fleck of resentment was my red flag that something wasn t working and that maybe i did need to consider letting zoe learn to self soothe i began thinking about zoe as a toddler and how this waking all night thing would not fly as she got older especially once she learns how to climb out of her crib and once we have other babies to tend to so i called and texted some of my most trusted mama friends you know the ones who mother the way you want to mother they gave me their pep talks their instructions and trouble shooting details and as soon as i shared them with taylor he was on board 100 what a man we started last night it was so rough the only other times i ve heard my baby scream and shriek like that is when she s in her carseat and is sleepy and there s nowhere for mommy to exit to help her terrible so we laid in bed next to her bassinet she couldn t see us listening to her scream comforting her every couple of minutes she would stop and pause start again make little protesting sounds then resume shrieking i d pick her up to comfort her tell her that i love her and want to teach her how to sleep and sooth herself that i didn t leave and i m right here it was hard so glad to have my man supporting me and zoe in this new difficult thing as i lay there wrestling with dualing thoughts this is good for her i m being a good mama teaching her how to sleep vs she is so mad i hope she doesn t think i ve left her i started seeing the parallels with god s training in my life god often times allows me to go through really really awful painful seasons for my own good of course i don t know they re for my own good when they re happening in the moment i think bad things are just happening to me i get mad and throw fits at god demanding he show me where he is that he fix this that i really really can t take it anymore but just like i am with zoe god is right there in my struggle not fixing it because the training is good for me and he knows i really can take it he trains me because he loves me just like i am doing with zoe he isn t selfish just wanting more time to himself to watch tv or have a break which is what i wrongly assumed most mothers wanted when they subjected their babies to cio sleep training he is tenderly lovingly watching me and training me doing what is best for me just like i am doing for zoe for the time being no discipline brings joy but seems grievous and painful but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness in conformity to god s will in purpose thought and action resulting in right living and right standing with god hebrews 12 5 11 the moment she gave in and fell asleep after 30 minutes of intermittant and comforted crying i was relieved and hopeful that it wouldn t be this bad next time and you know what the next time she cried less and surrendered to sleep more quickly when she woke up the next morning her cheery loving precious self i couldn t wait to bring her into my bed for some morning cuddles and ten thousand kisses on her sweet chubby cheeks i felt so proud of her i think and hope that god must be watching us from the metophorical bedside cheering for us when we struggle with new and difficult things and that he is so excited to celebrate with us in the morning xoxo posted by stephanie at 2 31 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels baby introspection motherhood thursday august 1 2013 so i m a mom now a k a my zoe s birth story sorry for the radio silence for the last 6 months we moved into a bigger place had a zillion baby showers i had our first baby and we ve been adjusting to parenthood since so yah no big deal i ve hesitated sharing my birth story because a blog is quite a public place to share such a personal intimate part of my life experience but i m such a sucker for birth stories reading so many online i thought i should go ahead and contribute to the beautiful world of birth stores i hope you enjoy reading mine god is so good my due date was march 4 but my midwife natalie encouraged me not to take that date seriously and have plenty of projects and distractions to busy myself with i took this suggestion to heart me working just a couple days before me organizing the baby stuff playing getting some last minute maternity photos done saturday march 2nd taylor and i woke up early to go to a farmer s market with his sister and her family kim and bill at the farmer s market i had a couple cramps that felt new i assumed they were braxton hicks since i still hadn t gotten any of those yet i whispered to taylor that i was having them but they were probably nothing we didn t want to tell anyone just in case i had false labor for some long period of time so we went home and took naps taylor woke up before me to go pick up our new clothes washer yay thanks granny and get it installed i woke up feeling fine no cramps when he got back we went to dinner at the counter with his cousin steven who d helped us pick up the washer and install it i had a few more intense cramps at dinner and decided to start tracking them on my iphone app they were between 10 and 7 mins apart they were getting stronger longer and closer together just as our bradley method instructor karen told us they would if they were real contractions i remember ordering a veggie burger just in case i did go into labor that night knowing that a heavy burger would be a bad choice ha when we got home i was ready to putter around the apartment i folded some clean baby laundry and worked a little bit in the baby s room which was in complete disarray because we thought we had so much time i kept timing the contractions which were easy enough to breath through they were 5 7 minutes apart my mom called and we visited on the phone for a bit and there were two difficult contractions while i was on the phone with her but i still wasn t convinced they were real contractions so i didn t say anything about it to my mom sorry mom i texted my midwife around 8pm telling her the history of the timing of the contractions and she said to take a warm bath eat a good dinner and try to sleep to get energy for the labor the bath did not slow the contractions in fact i had a few in the tub and had taylor come in and time them for me taylor and i had a special moment while i was soaking in the tub he sweetly told me how he wanted to be connected throughout all this and that he was there to love and support me enough sweet talk another contraction was coming timing contractions reviewing bradley method info on contractions i got out of the tub and tried lying down to rest but lying down made the contractions so much worse the only thing that was helpful was sitting on my birthing ball and making circles with my hips sometimes standing up and swaying in a circle felt better too i was having to use all my breathing and concentration to get through each contraction probably around 9pm i saw some bloody show and the midwife texted taylor telling him that this was indeed a sign of labor and our baby was on the way contractions were 2 3 minutes apart at this point hip circles on the ball i kept working through the contractions on my ball breathing deeply until they started hitting harder taylor knew it was time to go to the birth center when i could no longer relax through them and i sounded much different pretty sure i dropped the f bomb during one of my contractions natalie texted him the go ahead to come on somewhere around here i realized we still hadn t installed the carseat so taylor packed our bags in the car and installed the carseat we got in the car and began the fast drive along i 10 to the katy birth center oh man that drive was rough it was all i could do to breath through the pain we arrived at the birth center at 12 30am natalie checked me and was shocked and delighted to find me dialated to 8cm already we thought this birth was going to be a fast one she filled up the birthing pool for me which is where i planned to deliver where i labored and then began to push birth ball pain reduction oh my word pushing was so incredibly painful i was not prepared for that sensation i felt very zen and calm through the first phase of labor it was like a painful yoga class where you have to breath into the pain but pushing was so different the pain changed to a sensation i can only describe as my whole body feeling like it was going to split in half i really thought my body would take over and would push on its own but i really struggled with knowing which muscles to use and what to do with this new pain the pain got so intense that i began resisting it instead of just going with it i started getting scared i started wimpering i can t do it i can t push taylor and natalie kept encouraging me to lean into it and push with the pain taylor and natalie coaching me to push with the pressure exhausted i tried pushing in the pool then i tried on the toilet then i tried on a birthing stool then i tried side lying on the bed and nothing felt better i told taylor with a straight face which he thought hilarious that this is hard nothing feels good after a few contractions on the bed the baby s heart rate began dropping with each push natalie had to push the baby back up inside me at one point to see if she would reposition it was probably close to 5 am at this point and i was spent i had absolutely no energy to push anymore natalie was praying for me hooking me up to oxygen and an iv trying to get me to perk up so i could keep pushing taylor was exhausted and i could tell a little scared i rested for a while just breathing through contractions instead of pushing through them and nothing was helping i felt so powerless and so tired i didn t feel like i had it in me to get the baby out finally natalie turned to taylor and told hi...