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the last ones ever my husband although divorced for 31 years now i still think of him as my husband when i speak about him the only one i know for a fact i ll ever have but i digress my husband used to say to the kids when they were little i brought you in this world and i ll take you out make another one that looks just like you this was his straighten up right now speech but it didn t happen that way my son left this world and we did not make another one why all this melancholy this morning because this morning as her grandson vied for her attention with his 8 month old mentality she ignored him in favor of facebook which could burn and go to hell for all i care i played with him though and made him laugh dancing and singing for his enjoyment annoying her as i tried to get her to join in to hopefully realize that this moment could be the last moment on earth but i only succeeded in getting a sigh a see what i put up with daily sigh because after all a random sprinkling of complete strangers and what they ate for dinner is increasingly more important than the familial love standing just at arm s length sigh see what i put up with daily i don t care much for progress or really maybe it s just the internet and it s abundance of bullshit that decays our minds and draws us away from what is truly important each other maybe that s what i dislike so intensely be kind to one another ellen says at the end of every show that statement should probably be modified in my world be aware of one another don t take for granted what could suddenly be gone so fast they don t call them on purposes you know they call them accidents posted in uncategorized tagged laughter lesbian life love zombie no more posted on october 10 2014 by life love laughter lesbian 0 posted in laughter life love tagged laughter lesbian life love i should have gotten a tee shirt posted on october 9 2014 by life love laughter lesbian 4 okay so we just got back from vacation to the mountains i m a flatlander by birth used to such places as the beach where you can see for miles and miles and miles so driving up into the mountains is a challenge for me being slightly read a lot scared of heights but telling myself you ll be okay you big baby the number of times i ve driven in the mountains by the way in my whole life is now three we left a half day earlier than we had originally planned can you say anxious to get the heck out of dodge and being spur of the moment had made no plans for a hotel that night read foolish move we get about three or four hours from home and find that it s football season in the mountains and every hotel is booked solid so i keep driving it is now 8 30 pm on a friday night raining to beat the band with heavy winds and we are in a town so small only a dollar general is lit up at this time of night i pull in near a van that s starting to pull out and flag them down i can see the old man is a bit leery of rolling down his window to some broad with a shaved head but he does and i ask about accommodations nearby he chuckles as does his son and wife from the backseat no there s no hotel here the nearest well he says you got about another hour before you reach lexington that s if you re not in a hurry no no hurry that s good because it s an hour over the mountain and it s dark raining and you ll have to go slow because of the deer i should interject at this point that i am from a lighted state that is to say in florida we are apparently privileged as we have street lights so driving at night is not a big deal the rest of the country from what i ve seen hasn t caught onto this yet so in the mountains at night it s black as pitch and it s raining hard three things i don t like to drive at night to drive in the rain and i don t care much for bridges or curves so going over the mountain in the dark in the rain up and down s shaped unfamiliar roads at 25 to 30 mph with no street lights has about as much appeal to me as dental work without novacaine but we made it surprisingly and i honestly feel i should gotten a tee shirt i survived going over the mountains at night probably the fact that i could not see where i was going though was probably our saving grace on sunday we made the trip in reverse in the daylight and if you could have seen the curves the drop offs the sheer heights that we were up at the views well it s a good thing i couldn t see all that in the dark in the rain tired from driving as i was i probably wouldn t have gotten my imaginary tee shirt side note the place that we found to stay that first night was probably used as the backdrop for a billy bob thornton movie where his character would behead a 2 hooker for no reason other than she breathed too loud and i am reasonably certain she was killed in the room we stayed in i had my girlfriend check under the bed before we laid down what i wasn t looking under there i propped stuff against the door and checked on the car every few hours but no one killed us in fact that was the basis of my online review for that particular motel it was cheap quiet and no one killed us i should have gotten a second tee shirt for surviving that always take your own sheets blankets and pillows on trips we did and i m so thankful look ma no crabs posted in laughter life love what it s like to send your wife to mars reader s digest posted on october 2 2014 by life love laughter lesbian 1 copied from this month s reader s digest i am still a little in shock what do you guys think of this actually if i thought she d go i d sign my gf up for this most of us run through certain hypothetical scenarios when getting married would you forgive me if i cheated would you stay if i were paralyzed if i were brain dead could you pull the plug do you really mean it when you say you ll stand by me in sickness and in health for richer or poorer till death do us part i looked at the wedding vows that my wife and i had written and there is no asterisk no out clause releasing me in the event of extraterrestrial excursions you may have read about my wife of four years heard about her on the radio or seen her on tv she s sonia van meter 36 the austin woman and stepmother to my sons henry 13 and hatcher 11 who was chosen as a candidate by mars one the privately funded european nonprofit that is recruiting people to be sent to mars in groups of four starting in 2024 unlike astronaut wives who have to hold out only a week before their husbands come back i will never see sonia again if she goes to mars the mars one project is a one way trip to establish permanent human life there when mars one whittled the 200 000 plus applicants down to 1 058 sonia a political consultant got enough media coverage to become a minor celebrity around town it doesn t hurt that she s easy on the eyes i love her the camera loves her and now strangers do too when we go to parties we hear whispers that s the mars girl people say women it s always women approach to congratulate her on her bravery some ask will she you know have to help populate the planet for the record human reproduction is not part of the mission rarely does anyone engage her as a space geek to talk about what she hopes to find up there but if someone did he or she would open the discussion to sonia s innate curiosity and her enthusiasm about humanity s drive to explore and expand our understanding of what is possible she honestly does not get why everyone doesn t want to go to mars though she knows i would last about half an hour up there before getting bored but that s not what people talk about when they comment about her on the internet no sooner had a story about my wife s astronautical ambition aired than strangers took it upon themselves to diagnose our obviously flawed marriage nothing says i love you more than a one way trip to mars tweeted one stranger she must really be sick of her husband wrote another one internet commenter posting under the pseudonym acup wrote wow im glad im not married to her true enough since she would probably tell him where he could place his apostrophes more to the point was buck whose keen insight resulted in this trenchant observation going to mars and abandoning your husband and children forever brave hardly selfish most definitely sonia had not learned the first rule of the internet never read the comments excited to see reaction to the story she read aghast as strangers sat in anonymous judgment of our marriage what started as a brave woman claiming her ambition had become a public hazing i want you to tell me honestly she said tears welling in her eyes am i being a bad wife neil armstrong probably never had to ask his wife this or maybe he did maybe his wife had to demonstrate to him that the fullest expression of her commitment was to love him to the ends of the earth and then one very large step beyond maybe she had to reinforce to neil that all she wanted was for him to become the biggest version of himself maybe she loved him no matter what and risking his life in space was the what this mission is admittedly a literal long shot they have to raise more than 6 billion build a new generation of spacecraft and figure out how to sustain human life on a cold airless planet that has neither water nor pizza delivery not even netflix but regardless of whether this actually happens the possibility of my wife flying into space some day in the future forces me right here right now to accept that this may happen watching the launch will be the easy part living without her will be an agony that i will have to share with the world i ll be mr sonia van meter for the rest of my life telling her story here on earth i joke about endorsing products while my wife is exploring mars i m doing the laundry with new cosmos detergent it s out of this world but some will view me as a cautionary male cuckolded by an entire planet if she were the man and i the supportive wife she could be understood as an explorer and i the determined source of support back at home if i were the wife i could say i want what sonia wants and people would nod approvingly at how nice it must be to have such love and support but until the culture grows up my answers will only puzzle those who want me to describe the view as i look into the abyss i will miss her i will not like any of this but i love her and this is a horizon worth crossing what do you guys think about this posted in uncategorized tagged laughter life love is it winter already posted on october 1 2014 by life love laughter lesbian 1 so i shaved brrrrr toes feet ankles calves knees unmentionables and armpits brrrrr it s cold now but those 13 or 14 hairs had to go i don t shoot for quantity in my body hair except on my head that uppermost stuff is fast growing and thick enough to pull oh yeaahh when i say that i m hearing the kool aid man s voice oh yeaahh http www youtube com watch v 0ypjvb5zal8 the kool aid man but everything else is sparse few and far between going more for length the two hairs under my arms are really only under the right arm when i shave under the left arm the razor comes up empty and i only shaved my legs because out in the sun those three or four blond hairs look silly waving in the breeze the pubes well i shave those three when they are in danger of me sitting on one of them i m going on vacation this weekend so i shaved oh yeaahh you better believe it i m fancy like that i mean what if i m killed in a car wreck did you see that single foot long hair hanging out of her shorts i don t need the ambulance people gossiping about me how about those two hairs curled up under that one arm i thought it was a tarantula at first i didn t even know i had hair on my toes until the other night the gf is rubbing my feet oh yeaahh and she says hey did you know you have two hairs on your big toe are they attached to my foot i expected them to just be drifters you know hairs just hitchhiking through my neighborhood or something but she assured me they were mine and tried to pull them out by wrapping one around her finger ouch so yeah stop that ugh on the plus side i don t think i ll ever need a facelift but i do look surprised now so i m clean shorn and probably can wear smaller clothes at this point let s travel posted in uncategorized tagged laughter lesbian life love sometimes the good die old posted on september 30 2014 by life love laughter lesbian 6 my godfather died i don t even know exactly when i got an email this morning from his oldest daughter saying he d been not feeling well was hospitalized for a short time in august and had died with her at his side in the hospital she said that he hadn t wanted a funeral was cremated and that the family was holding up well he was 88 years old i can t say i didn t cry as i read about the passing of this gentle kind man who taught me how to hold and bottle feed baby goats when i was about 14 years old i never heard him angry never heard him cuss he wore a flat top haircut and i can t remember when he wasn t clean shaven hair cut neatly dressed in khakis eight children plus me i met the family when i was 12 years old when the catholic church baptized me this family was presented to me as my godparents they were kind religious without being weird had meal time prayers sunday school and church every week gave me their hand me down clothes and passed out large helpings of kindness always entering their house meant sitting down at the long dining table and getting served something to eat or drink for it was assumed you had room for something entering their driveway always brought a feeling of peace and comfort my troubles as a young adult melting miraculously as i drove down that little country lane leading to their backyard they never asked about my divorce or my life with an ever changing roommate and i didn t volunteer they accepted me for me if my life caused them angst i ve yet to hear a word of it i probably never exchanged more than ten sentences altogether with this family man in the last 41 years but i was always welcome in his home spoken to with a kind voice and he definitely had my respect rest in peace gentle kind sir i might never have said it but in my own way i loved you you were a real man dedicated to his family working always for the better good of them all the world is a better place for your having been a part of it posted in uncategorized i m alive i m alive i mmmmmmmmmm alive posted on september 27 2014 by life love laughter lesbian 6 okay i made it 28 floors in 23 minutes and 49 seconds not a record breaker by any means but i didn t die and i actually consider that a personal accomplishment the winners but really weren t we all winners had times of ahem 3 minutes and such like that whatever what kind of overachiever can do 28 floors in three minutes i wish i could say i think he cheated and took the elevator but he probably didn t ugh so i should probably come clean with the whole truth before it s made public in darts when you play on a team you pl...