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monkey shines skip to main skip to sidebar monkey shines thursday september 8 2011 summer photo adventure the watercolours house of edisto beach in july my family and i were invited to experience an incredible house on a beautiful beach my mom had visited this massive four story beach house before and had been raving about it ever since she had been hoping for months that my kids and i would get to see it once i saw it for myself i understood why mom couldn t stop talking about it i decided to document the experience as a photo blog so that i ll always have something concrete to look back at to remember this adventure the pictures also serve as inspiration for my own dream house here are the photos from that awesome summer adventure with few textual interruptions 7 04 11 summer photo adventure posted by shane mcelveen at 7 17 am no comments labels adventure beach dream home mcelveen photo shane summer vacation tuesday june 28 2011 i kissed a squirrel i kissed a squirrel by shane mcelveen and curtis hart based on i kissed a girl by katie perry v1 am c dm f this was never the way i planned when i came to the convention am c dm f had one too many drinks oh man lost all sense of dimension am c dm f furries i m not used to how d you get that costume on am c dm f mor bid ly curi ous for you just wanna get my fur on chorus am c dm f i kissed a squirrel and i liked it the taste of her nutty bits oh am c dm f i kissed a squirrel just to try it never thought i d prefer rodent am c dm f her nose felt so cold her fur was so tight don t mean i m vegan tonight am c dm f i kissed a squirrel and i liked it i liked it v2 don t usually go for small game it doesn t matter love it when you chitter my name my pervert s nature it s not what peta would do not how humans should behave thinkin with the wrong head beast i al i tay chorus pre chorus those anthromorphs so magical fuzzy soft snout so kissable just wanna squeeze so hugable too good to de ny it fluf fy soft tail i think i m spent chorus end posted by shane mcelveen at 3 21 pm no comments labels comedy con convention filk furries furry humor kiss song spoof squirrel the pee pee dance just because i m feeling silly the pee pee dance by shane mcelveen based on safety dance by men without hats p p p p p p p p pee pee pee pee pee pee pee pee dance spoken i can pee when i want to i can sit down on the can but my friends all stand and if i don t stand they ll wonder if i m a man i can piss where i want to if i m given half a chance but i gotta go soon cause if i don t go i m gonna do the pee pee dance yes i ll dance sung i can pee where i want to i can leave my house behind run into the woods and piss in the woods and show my white behind i say i can go where i want to where no one will ever see i can squirt like the coach from league of their own take an hour just to pee pee pee dance dance we can pee when we want to we ve been waiting having to go and we can stand here sweet and spray on our feet or run out back and loose the hose say we can run in the girl s room we won t get another chance or you can act upset like you ve never done it and stay and do the pee pee dance refrain pee pee dance wee wee dance grabbing willy while i prance pee pee dance wee wee dance gonna soak right through my pants pee pee dance wee wee dance cross my legs and start to pray pee pee dance wee wee dance everybody back awa a a ay pee pee dance i ll do the pee pee dance i ll do the wee wee dance p p p p e e e e e e e e p p p p e e e e e e e e pee pee dance we can pee if we want to every day and every night if you back your bowels up you ll screw them all up then nothing will come out right i say we can piss if we want to we can use the public john but don t talk in the can cause if you talk to me man well then you re no friend of mine refrain is it safe to pee oh is it safe to pee 6x pee pee dance posted by shane mcelveen at 3 10 pm no comments labels peepee piss safety pance song spoof friday may 20 2011 the night before rapture twas the night before rapture and all through the place everybody was snoring pillows stuffed in each face the kidlets were trumpeting snores as an art learned from their father with the occasional fart i sat wired on coffee at my monitor i stared with visions of heaven and how i m unprepared to be hauled into space on this balmy of nights to sing with the angels about godly delights when what to my rock deafened ears did give sign but the son of god jesus christ i ain t lyin he smiled as i jostled to delete all my pron and said too late to worry with all that now son i m here to tell you to calm yourself down coming tonight man i m always around the guy you called faggot and bullied in class the girl you picked on because she had a fat butt got ya i asked for some help and you wouldn t buy food the old lady that stumbled and you acted so rude i m not here to make you feel guilty or lowly i m not here to make you tell me you re not worthy i came to bring peace in a world full of war and tell you what virtues and honor are for not to give you excuses to hate and to maim or burn those that differ or kill in the name don t worry about rapture or when i ll ride through just treat others as you want them to treat you posted by shane mcelveen at 10 38 pm no comments friday may 6 2011 thoughts about mothers and fathers my friend david lost his father today to cancer i can imagine what he s going through but it s just speculation and sympathy i have no way of knowing the pain and loss that he s feeling i ve realized over a lifetime of days like this that you can feel sad for your friends and you can feel relief that their loved one isn t in pain any longer but there s just nothing to be said there are no words you can say that will bring their loved one back to them you can t fix it for them all you can really do is be around if they do want to talk or if they don t you can also be thankful for the loved ones you do have whether they be partners parents children siblings or friends who might as well be siblings i thought long and hard today about my own family s relationship there have been ups and downs like with any family but late last year was a turning point for us in that we all seem to appreciate each other more now we try to watch our mouths more as not to piss each other off we do little things to show each other that we love each other i m thankful for that beyond words i know that god forbid if something was to happen to any of them i m at peace with them and they know i love them i think in the end that s really the best we can do in the face of the inevitable over my lifetime i ve been incredibly blessed to meet a great many people who i have loved learned from and befriended i have always known that if the worst happened i have a roof over my head and somewhere to have a meal i have always known the companionship of friends friends have become brothers sisters fathers and mothers to me i hope that these dear people know how i feel about them b c they have made my life full and interesting i have never walked completely alone i ve never had to for that i am extremely thankful tonight i don t know when my own dad s time will come but i know that he has been more than a father to me over the years he s been a hero an enemy at times but always loving and present and more often than not a wise friend who believes in me when it is his time or mine i ll know that we loved understood and respected each other before it was over and i can t ask for more than that in fact i m damn lucky to my own mom i love you mom thank you for everything happy mother s day to melissa thank you so much for our children and your love for them they are the light of my life happy mother s day finally to all the ladies who have been like mothers to me i think you know who you are thank you all for your love and support happy mother s day posted by shane mcelveen at 10 26 pm no comments monday may 2 2011 on the death of a monster those who slay monsters must remain emotionless excluding the feeling of relief when the deed is done a slayer of monsters must remember that if the monster is allowed to live the monster will bring about more death to those who are undeserving of such horror to feel sadness over the death of a monster is kind but must not stay a slayer s hand to revel in the death of a monster is to become a monster yourself a piece at a time in the end when the trigger is pulled or the blade falls the end goal of the violence must be a gift of peace a peace that the monster could only achieve in its death an end to the violence inherent in its existence posted by shane mcelveen at 12 43 pm no comments saturday april 16 2011 birthday parties tornados and explosions oh my dude what a day my best friend roommate curt and i went to our friend jessie s birthday party today jessie is a really inspiring guy he s in his mid twenties and is an up and coming local artist he works hard at his art and his dedication reminds me time and again what a lazy bum i can be he s funny he s positive and he s just the kind of guy that you re always glad you took the time to visit with i ve never left jessie s company feeling anything but uplifted one more thing jessie was in an accident years back and is now in a wheelchair i say in one not confined to one because jessie in no way allows his life or his amazing spirit to be limited by the constraints of his body i didn t even know that jessie existed until curt called me from the repair shop the computer repair shop where curt works when he s not directing movies writing movies attending parties or antagonizing me one day and told me that jessie might want to buy my wacom digital art tablet that i barely ever used i realized too late that i still prefer illustrating on paper jessie hangs out with curt and david curt s boss at the shop some afternoons so i brought the tablet to jessie that same day and let him take a look at it in jessie i saw an enthusiasm about his art that made me smile and made me remember that love of art that i thought had been burned out of me over the years i knew after that first conversation that i d made a new friend jessie s birthday party today was one of those days that i never saw coming but turned out to be the kind of day that you tell stories about for years first off it was a party on jessie s family s land a large tract of farmland at the top of south carolina a tiny graveyard surrounded by a few tall trees marked the dirt road that led to the party in a small clearing between a recently planted corn field and a treeline that masked a gorgeous pond that looked more like a small river a few cars were parked near a camp setup with a tarped over kitchen several camping tents and a few tables jessie s big white van was parked in the midst of it i met some cool people and had good food and good conversation we all knew that it was supposed to rain today jessie s parents were adamant that the birthday party would go on rain or no rain i was not aware until too late of the tornado watch that was underway for dillon county aka where i m at but i figured we d be fine some rain here and there but a little water never hurt anyone everyone else seemed to be in the same mindset after a few hours of threatening cloud cover it started raining in earnest we all retreated to our vehicles to wait the storm out then resume jessie s party so curt and i sat in old blue my blue ford explorer that s been in the family for years listened to music and waited the rain fell and the wind picked up a few tree branches fell on and around the cars including old blue me maybe i should move the car over curt nah we re probably fine we opened the skylight and looked up at a huge branch right above us me forget this curt let s move so i moved old blue away from the trees behind another car the cars were all basically in a straight line on the edge of the field now the wind and rain picked up and before i knew it i looked out of my driver s side window and my eyes grew wide a huge sheet of gathering rain wind and dirt dust came at me and slammed into old blue all the cars were rocking now i looked at the trees and the smaller ones were bent nearly in half by the time i was done looking around in that amazed dumbfounded trance like state it was over we all stepped out of our vehicles and jessie s dad jake started pointing at the old graveyard at the entrance to the dirt road the tallest tree in the graveyard had been broken bust above the base and the rest of the tree was laying over the graveyard at a right angle the tornado had passed right beside us the tarp covered kitchen was a wreck afterward but everything else was easily salvaged and no one was hurt a bit shaken up we continued the party nonetheless more people showed up and we had more good food and good conversation night fell and it was time to set off some fireworks one of jessie s old friends had brought some primo black knight fireworks super loud excellent bang for your buck unfortunately these were set off i m not going to say by who but no it wasn t myself jessie or curt too close to the campsite in general the fireworks went off in an array of wondrous technicolor fire just above our heads accompanied by really satisfying cannon like booms however two of the throw it and hope for the best fireworks were much more interesting there were two of the w t l s pronounced wootles the first crazy wartime terrorist light show began when a firework was thrown too close to the cars the firework went off propelled itself between two cars and then went off in a beautiful if blood curdling array that sent people cursing screaming and scattering like mice no one was hurt the second crazy w t l s basically landed right in front of the now huddled group of onlookers just as it went off i watched at least three girls run by me at really admirable speeds when my head was tucked inside of my outstretched jacket and i was praying for the best the streams of colorful balefire that flew past me missed everyone again no one was hurt except for the newly singed firework tosser so i took that as a really good sign ate a few bonfire scorched marshmallows enjoyed the company of friends and new cool people and chalked all of the day s incredible unforgettable events up to this god still likes me and i m doing something right happy birthday jessie posted by shane mcelveen at 11 38 pm 3 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom blog archive 2011 12 september 1 summer photo adventure the watercolours house o june 2 may 3 april 1 february 5 2010 5 december 3 april 2 2009 2 june 1 april 1 2008 9 november 2 october 1 august 2 january 4 2007 13 december 3 october 1 august 8 july 1 monkeylicious links aspiring scheherazade design monkey merchandise design monkey on myspace oni s ramblings shane mcelveen studios home shane mcelveen studios on squidoo the journal of m w maelstorme two dorks