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Text of the page (random words):
margo darling margo darling little miss fire and music friday october 03 2008 ten weeks hello lovelies i don t have time for a real post because we re nearing the end of maude s mid morning nap so i ve got to be brief life with a newborn infant is both really hard and really boring it s really hard because it s a relentless cycle feed change comfort rock to sleep work on tenure dossier like a madwoman in hour increments while she sleeps feed change comfort and it s really boring because she s only awake and cheerful briefly so it s like a long hike with no payoff at the top because you only get to barely glimpse the view before you have to start back down the mountain which you then climb again the next day does that make sense but i hear that three months is a magical time and that she ll become more and more of a little person and less of a suffering little creature which is not to say that i don t adore her because i do she s a peppery little elven thing what i m really here for is to post some pictures here she is as an intense two week old smiling big at exactly one month grinning at exactly one month i love this one staring at the love of her life her tiny love mobile rocking what is my very favorite maude outfit right now here s what she looks like when we start out on our walks this is what we look like three minutes later after she starts screaming because she hates her stroller and prefers to be worn in a sling better work out for me as a bonus sleeping when she wears her sleep sack she looks like a civilian extra on star trek you know how they always wear romper type outfits goofing off with sfrajett and finally what she looked like last week happy chubby sweet little girl photobucket is being stupid and not letting me paste this in this smaller and turned around by the time you see it maybe the changes will be in effect posted by margo darling at 2 08 pm 18 comments monday august 04 2008 as promised if you re not already a reader my gf sfrajett has a thoughtful detailed account of the birth i love her writing and am so happy to have her account on hand since all i really remember is the darkness of the room the interminable ticking of the clock and how sick i was of brothers and sisters after i had finished an entire dvd s worth of shows stupid pretty people also my link to luches didn t work in the last post try this here s a little bit o maude posted by margo darling at 11 01 am 9 comments thursday july 31 2008 and then there s maude i m sorry i couldn t resist sfrajett has all the pictures on her computer i just have this one from my phone what you can t see is all her dark dark hair more soon so that was much harder than i expected birth story in a sec but first much thanks to my friend luches for updating the blog while sfrajett and i were in the hospital we just brought our precious little firecracker home from the hospital yesterday after 96 long long hours in the postpartum ward surrounded by well meaning but bossy nurses each of which knew exactly how to turn little miss maude into the latched on baby of my dreams funny how forcing a screaming baby s head onto your nipple doesn t make for a calm productive nursing experience but more on that in another post so we were there for four days post delivery because after having maybe the easiest pregnancy ever i had 24 hours of labor 2 1 2 hours of hard pushing sfrajett s theory is that our ob gyn played sports at some point and approaches the delivery room with the affect of the coach me i m a pleaser so i do well with coaching and when i doctor i already hugely admire encourages me to push harder than anyone s ever pushed before all i want to do is please her so really please believe me when i say i was in the last six miles of the marathon for these entire 2 1 2 hours an emergency c section turns out little miss maude was way too big for me well really it was her gigantic 14 inch head that was too big after all that pushing i heard the doctor telling the nurse they were productive pushes baby s head still wasn t quite in the birth canal only the elongated cone my productive pushes had been making out of the back of her head the only way i was going to deliver her vaginally was via forceps and i knew that that would mean a lot more tearing possibly a broken collar bone for baby maybe a broken tailbone for me a lot of distress for both of us so the decision to go with the c section was an easy one twenty minutes later i celebrated my baby s birth by throwing up some vile bubbling green anti acid medicine they d made me gulp down on the way to surgery as the doctor pulled baby s gigantic self out of little me i could hear her saying something like wow that was the right decision sfrajett will write a more thoughtful post about the birth experience if she ever puts the baby down because she experienced it much more than i did i just wanted to check in and thank you all for your beautiful messages of congratulations and let you know that we re all doing fine here i m just glad it s over glad i have maude safely here in my arms glad i have a partner who s a fiercely protective tender passionately devoted parent who can make me laugh in the middle of a sleepless night with her sweet and goofy lullabies and whose arms never seem to get tired posted by margo darling at 8 31 am 11 comments tuesday july 29 2008 for there she was mrs dalloway is here announcing maude elizabeth july 26th 8 lbs 9 oz 21 inches birth story coming soon posted by margo darling at 4 18 am 23 comments wednesday july 23 2008 sun in leo edited to change title from moon in leo to sun in leo blame joni mitchell the entire month of july i had the opening lines to little green in my head born with the moon in cancer you didn t think i could get bigger did you this is me last week i m now 39 weeks two days or six days from my due date based on my doctor s appointment yesterday where i was told that things have progressed very nicely in the past week and based on signals my body is giving me i feel like this could happen really soon but what do i know it could be another week the thing is i ve decided i don t know how to wrap my mind around the idea that i m going to have a baby i really like my life sfrajett and i have a really cute apartment we have lots of friends we read a lot we adore each other everything is peaceful and nice and perfect what are you supposed to do with your head when you know that any day now your life will change forever but since it hasn t changed and you can t understand that change unless you ve experienced that change and i m still me a totally happy healthy childless adult only without the ability to bend at the waist what do i do with today i know enjoy the quiet sleep as much as i can get last minute errands done okay check check check but apparently my list also contains piss off friends for no very good reason cry for no very good reason pace the house be scared shitless about the coming changes read the woman in white why did it take me so long to get to this book cry some more posted by margo darling at 2 10 pm 7 comments wednesday july 16 2008 what needs to be done as of my 38 week appointment on monday baby is super comfy and not interested in coming two blessed weeks early oh well i walked i drank red rasberry leaf tea i bounced on my exercise ball i ate spicy food and yes i had lots of orgasms nothing sorry what now and perverse adult i think adjunct whore wins this baby wants to be a leo not a cancer sitting on my desk is a dissertation prospectus from a grad student at a distant school who is writing on my author i m excited she s writing about my person and i have stuff to say about her proposal but i just keep putting off writing her i ve had her prospectus for way too long now however i think the universe is punishing me for not being more prompt this baby won t come until i write up my thoughts about her project she also won t come until i fold up the newly washed sheets from the house guests we had last week but i don t want to do that either what i want to do sleep eat soft serve ice cream what i really want is frozen custard but there s none in chicago as far as i can tell watch brothers and sisters which i netfl ixed two episodes in i m reasonably compelled enough to keep watching swim in a swimming pool i want this so badly i could die but there s no pool except at the school gym and that s for working out i want to loll around in the sun and feel the cool water supporting my seriously unbelievably big belly so much bigger than in the picture i last posted why do i live in the midwest where people don t have pools be in jo e s blog she always posts beautiful pictures but this week she s killing me it s so peaceful and cool and calm in her blog i wish i could do what gumby does with books and walk right into her world usually we d be in new hampshire right now kayaking on squam lake where sfrajett grew up we re both filled with longing for the lake i tried to find a picture to show you but they all made it seem too big and impersonal and in my head it s quiet and smooth and peaceful it s what i focus on when i m practicing my lamaze breathing lake michigan while lovely and festive just isn t the same what i will do get a pedicure yeah i m charging it because i accidentally ran my bank account down and don t get paid until friday you wanna make something of it not write that doctoral student back not fold the sheets posted by margo darling at 3 14 pm 3 comments thursday july 03 2008 july so this is it folks this is the month that baby is supposed to be born at my 36 week check up on monday the doctor said she was taking the word premature off the table and that when the baby was ready to come she was comfortable having her come gf and i spent the rest of the afternoon plotting how to get labor started walking drinking rasberry leaf tea sitting on the exercise ball which is suddenly the birth ball according to all the childbirth books we re reading whatever it s not like it was getting a lot of use as an exercise ball that s for sure which is supposed to open up my pelvis and help the baby drop etc then that night we looked at each other and said whoa why do we want this baby to come a month early i mean i m tired of being pregnant and my stomach which was flawless up until a few weeks ago is suddenly covered in angry stretch marks and itches like crazy and i m tired of sleeping on my side and not being able to tie my shoes or rub lotion on my legs but as one of his moms put it there are many many reasons to not wish this baby out early and to enjoy the quiet and peace of these last few weeks but here s the thing my beloved ob gyn is going to be out of town precisely during the end of my 38th the beginning of my 39th week which is also a full moon which is when all the babies are born duh so i either need to get her out of here early or try to keep her in late so i m walking and drinking my rasberry leaf tea which i really like so no sacrifice there and trying to keep the house clean and buying last minute things for baby like that thing that pulls snot out of their noses but i m also finishing up my book methodically tightening up chapters rewriting intros and conclusions deleting overly emphatic italics and adding in juicy bits read incredibly catty bitchy excerpts from letters my research subject was a terror from my archival research last summer today i m going to try to fold in an amazing anonymous tell all from one of my person s personal secretaries it makes madonna look like a fun person to work for you want to know a secret the real highlight of my day is waiting for ups to deliver our hers and slightly more masculine hers diaper bags seriously i can t wait mine is made from 10 recycled water bottles so i m feeling pretty smug about it hers has flames on it the biggest news of today is that we re finally sending in our second parent adoption papers unlike many other states illinois doesn t require me to surrender my parental rights so that my partner can adopt they handle it like a step parent adoption and as of two years ago they got rid of the mandatory and expensive series of home visits from a social worker we had to wait first until we had enough money to cover the lawyer s check and then for me to dig up my divorce papers when will my former life as a married mormon housewife stop haunting me but i ve got em and we ve got the check and so that puppy goes in the mail today here s a picture of me two weeks ago before the attack of the stretch marks some of the many wonderful lesbian mothers to be that i read have been dutifully posting belly shots but i ve been too lazy so here goes margo at 34 weeks preg posted by margo darling at 12 33 pm 9 comments about me name margo darling location midwest united states if i could be anything i d be a cabaret singer or even better a big band vocalist you know the type long sequined dress handheld mike teased up hair like peggy lee this informs my teaching persona and makes it hard to lead discussion sessions view my complete profile links google news edit me edit me previous posts ten weeks as promised and then there s maude for there she was mrs dalloway is here sun in leo what needs to be done july hello hello six word memoir halfway there archives february 2005 march 2005 april 2005 may 2005 june 2005 july 2005 august 2005 september 2005 october 2005 december 2005 january 2006 february 2006 march 2006 april 2006 may 2006 june 2006 july 2006 august 2006 september 2006 november 2006 december 2006 january 2007 march 2007 april 2007 july 2007 august 2007 september 2007 november 2007 december 2007 january 2008 march 2008 june 2008 july 2008 august 2008 october 2008