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own experience with my mom s passing i m so thankful to have spent time with everyone and have all these wonderful pictures that my kids can look back on and remember specially if everyone lives in one country and aren t separated by political asylum visas and dictatorships posted in family sprinkles of grace posted on august 7 2019 august 5 2019 by maria mariahass blog good friends like ralfie are around even though i had not heard from him since 2011 getting the gloom and doom out of the way in the last post i have to say i also experienced sprinkles of grace on this trip to florida any moment when i smiled laughed or felt joy was like a refreshing rain after a summer of forest fires and unbearable heat in alaska and i m sure my mom would ve wanted it that way she hated funerals and cemeteries she didn t want people mourning her and moping around she even hated flowers because they remind her of funerals i am here to let you know that it s ok to feel joy in the middle of grief it doesn t make the grief any less valid or real and i readily embraced any comfort given to me comfort came in the way of hugs with family i haven t seen in ever my family in canada for example it had been 24 years since i last saw them we only hung out for like one night but it was so nice to be hugged and prayed for by them 1990 miami beach 2019 later on my cousin came down from new york and spent two days with us that was fun i had grown up living with or close to him most of my childhood or visiting his home over the summer when we didn t live five minutes apart 2002 2019 i always love hugging and spending time with my mom s youngest brother and his family then there s family that s not really blood but might as well be my mom and yeiby had met back in 1997 we were roommates in venezuela from 97 99 then again in homestead fl from 2001 2004 or so we are talking about years of meals together doing each other s hair helping with homework etc what the bible calls a friend who sticks closer than a brother i could spend time with them any day that felt like home to me my high school biology teacher came to my mom s celebration of life the only one of my friends who could make it and then connected my sister and me with a trunk full of mangoes star fruits avocadoes and even a jackfruit which we tore up and now that i m back in alaska i m bummed cuz i want more fruit and as a way of saying thank you for the trunkload of fruit we came over and made arepas for their dungeons and dragons group which was fun got to connect with old friends and meet new people not only that but while in alaska my husband found the time to take the kids to dave and busters because no one wants to grind without stop so they had sprinkles of grace as well i actually feel worse for my cousins who had to leave venezuela because through this grief of their favorite aunt they were alone alone in peru or chile or argentina i was able to connect with family and reminisce cry and pray they were left to their photos and whatsapp there s nothing like a hug from family during these hard times and leaving your parents in search of a better life is a hard time enough as it is posted in family stop this ride i want to get off posted on august 5 2019 by maria mariahass blog just passing through i haven t even had the time to sit down and blog the past two months and that s because everything came like a hurricane the good the bad and the ugly all at once i would not have chosen this if i had a say in the events of my life i d schedule them out give me a chance to recover but in the span of only 15 days my oldest son needed oral surgery and major orthodontic appliances my mom went in the hospital with pneumonia in fl we passed appraisals and inspections on the house got ready to close my mom s cancer came back in her lungs i booked the soonest flight to fl from ak in the middle of everything here at home thank god for my friends tony and tracy who worked together to get me a ticket within an hour of getting the news my mom passed away in her sleep before i boarded the plane what followed felt like a lifetime movie and i was jumping through hoops to keep everything moving my mom holding me in one of her venezuelan beach adventures i processed my mom passing away from the floor of the airport in phoenix az that s about all the time i got before i was on the ground making decisions and planning her ceremony her entire ceremony was at the hands of none other than my sister and yours truly thankful for the friends who helped kept us company or at least brought us food my sister had to move out of the apartment she shared with my mom so we were also going through boxes and drawers deciding right now what to do with all of my mom s belongings 160 worth of shipping costs from fl to ak later and a suitcase costing me 130 on united airlines i can honestly say i kept as much as i could because i wasn t ready to let her go mom sister and me with the pink suspenders 1991 i was too busy to be angry but i felt angry anyways back home my husband closed on a home packed our apartment worked 60 hours a week and moved us into our home and completely out of our apartment all by himself well with heavy lifting and a lot of help from friends the saturday we moved but all the packing all of the paperwork all of the childcare all of the kid stuff was entirely on him while he s working two jobs i m surprised i have any husband left and he didn t just fall apart and die on me entirely grateful for having him in my corner the only family able to be there for the celebration of life family from canada miami and me from alaska she left behind another 9 siblings in venezuela and nieces nephews scattered all across south america and portugal who would ve loved to have been here while i was gone i would keep in touch with the kids and my son s appliance broke in the evening while dad was working that made me feel so helpless if i was home i d call the emergency line and get him to his orthodontist after hours but because i wasn t home my husband had to take a morning off work to get him in i felt a little bit like i was failing i felt like i was being torn in two half of me in alaska the rest of me in florida so now i m home i came home to my house to all of my belongings in boxes i can t sort yet to needing to figure out where the grocery store is or my new church to having to set up mail service and with weeks before my husband and i start teaching through ak exploring studies ak exploring science i m still running but it may be a good thing i wouldn t know what to do if i just sat still for a moment with nothing to do teresa karalus august 14 1962 july 12 2019 posted in friends homeschooling reaching and extending socially posted on june 2 2019 by maria mariahass blog it s no secret to people who really know me that i m an introvert i recharge my batteries after church or school events with solitude while it s very easy for me to stay inside my happy little shell i finished the school year with a spirit led prompting to make myself available to branch out from my usual friends and family and be a supporting hand to someone else somehow i know it was spirit led because all my plans revolved around rest and me time but i found myself in situations that made me realize this is a need and i think i can fill it i m a pretty active member when i have the time with my kid s school s parent advisory committee even though i homeschool i partner with a state wide charter school this has made me a liason of sorts between the school administration and the new parents wanting to homeschool their children and i realized quite gravely that there are moms who know my name and face when i don t know theirs it put a little bit of pressure to make sure i actually represent homeschooling well to both fronts yet i welcomed it because it gave me a ministry of sorts that i was unique to fulfill see moms trying to homeschool don t get ministered to by my pastor or his wife it s not their job but god placed me in these unique intersections not the pastoral staff at my church so if not me then who so i worked with new moms to get kids together for dungeons and dragons group since it was an interest that a few of our kids had even though this isn t my strong point and i don t do much and i m working with my school to start a 4h club since that was also their desire and i knew the regional uaf extension coordinator so why not i m helping them get the ball rolling my husband and i will also be facilitating a love and logic 6 week workshop for couples over the summer because these classes are mind blowingly revolutionary and we want to help at least at this time with getting the word out we can t do all things at all times and there comes times when i can t do anything where life or health has me otherwise occupied and i have no effort to give anyone else but that time is not today so why not but i think the funnest and most meaningful stretching point for me is starting a book club we are reading julie bogart s the brave learner and i even hosted my first tea party this is new this is out of my comfort zone this does not come naturally for me it s not in my skills set but it s going great and it s helping me reach other moms where i wouldn t have been able to before the brave learner s book club in the kitchen of our homeschooling charter school posted in family bite the bullet posted on june 2 2019 june 2 2019 by maria mariahass blog i signed my kids up and attended a free event put on by friends of the nra and other local shooting organizations at one of our largest outdoor gun range i m always up for an opportunity to get my kids around guns and handling them under the safety and supervision of professionals such as law enforcement our local swat team and the alaska department of fish and wildlife it s very common in alaska most of our high schools have indoor ranges and offer competitive shooting as a pe elective there are more guns than people in this state most homes own more than one and by the grace of god every school shooting attempt or threat has been thwarted by our hard working law enforcement who assigns police officers to each school and does not delay in addressing social media comments as serious however we moved to alaska in 2009 so we weren t raised that way my husband and i grew up in families that consider guns to be evil and would never own one the first time i went to the range i was 30 years old so this isn t something that brings warm childhood memories for us in fact if i google search my brain so to speak on the words gun and school the first thing that comes to mind was the incident at columbine and the avalanche of copy cat threats and evacuations at the schools i attended i also recall a lot of tragedies where a child found a gun and killed himself or a sibling sometimes these children who pulled the trigger were barely 4 years old not even old enough to be safe in kindergarten during the school day aside from all the personal reasons my husband and i have changed our minds and choose to conceal carry ourselves i want my kids to fire a gun safely at the gun range with adult supervision as often as possible because video game and tv violence has snuck in gun usage to younger and younger ages my kids have seen people shoot at captain america and he lived to defeat the bad guys with nothing more than his shield but hearing the gun go off on the tv or playing a game where a gun is fired doesn t have the child register just how powerful these weapons are the moment my children felt the recoil of the gun in their hands and heard the deafening noise of it discharging which reminded them to put on their ear protection and leave it on all day their perspective on them changed they can easily separate fact from fiction now curiosity has killed the child tragically one too many times kids are naturally drawn to risk and adventure a gun is not one of those things i m letting my children have any curiosity about there s no mystery in it they ve taken law enforcement led classes where they disassembled and reassembled guns to clean them they ve been able to look down the empty unattached barrel of a gun and hold bullets in their hand all of our homeschooling or parenting purpose boils down to building a relationship with our children where they feel comfortable coming to us first as a reliable and honest source of information one day when they re older we ll have to bite the bullet and have honest discussions about sex and dating that we aren t exactly having right now but it would be very dangerous for me to assume that they re too young to encounter a gun in this day and age so we are going to beat everyone else to it conclusively there s something taught with gun usage that is drilled into their minds and i believe it s life saving because you have to assume every gun is loaded and lethal never point a gun at something you are not willing to destroy target practice is appropriate waving a gun while recording yourself in selfie mode to try to look cool is not if nothing else regardless of your stance on gun control rights or the second ammendment i m going to recommend you teach your child something about guns no i m going to beg you to do so i m going to step on your parenting toes and implore you to drill this into your child the way you know stop drop and roll that s right if you see a gun anywhere at any time stop don t touch run away tell a grown up never ever try to transport the gun to an adult and don t try to argue with a friend who is holding one or convince them to put it down the moment you see a gun run out of that building or area to another place immediately and ask a grown up for help calling the police this response saves lives posted in faith family a long awaited open door posted on june 2 2019 by maria mariahass blog i don t think this blog post will have any context without knowing all that we ve been through since i started this blog so for a point of reference i ll summarize and link to previous blog posts before i start i married my husband for richer or for poor and we ve had our fair share of poor as i mentioned before we ve been homeless more than once tried to make ends meet in oklahoma florida and now alaska we ve changed careers and jobs at least four times from military to subway making sandwiches to the faa to selling cell phones to now working in the medical field where he s finally growing and doing great but i would not trade any of it for all the money in the world because our marriage has been reinforced like gold by a blacksmith there was a whole year where we were technically homeless living with our friends 9 people in a three bedroom condo while we did some major credit repair no thanks to a military leak and tried to buy a home it was a trying time that would have been disastrous for our friendship had god not intervened but as i shared in unanswered prayers he didn t answer ...